Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Say Cheese
It's time to say "Cheese" and show off those pearly whites. It's not for a photo shoot or for a special family occasion. The admonition is simply to show someone a friendly smile and your beautiful eyes because it means you're alive. It also signifies that you care, even about the strangers you co-exist with. It's astonishing how few people show their smiles or any other kind of facial expression while interacting with passersby. Rather than a welcoming impression of friendliness, people express a sullen monk's facials or the look of a fearful lamb about to be devoured.
Sometimes, it's hard to smile at others, like when you're driving while trying to stay in your own lane as fellow racers sprint their final lap of the Indy500. Likewise, it's somewhat challenging to show full eye-contact while jogging through the neighborhood, as sweat beads blur your vision. In general though, it's as if the world around us wants to display a zombie-like lack of emotion in a self-protective attempt to preserve anonymity. No smiles, no teeth showing, no sense of sharing a piece of your own humanity.
Why is it that most people have to be an acquaintance before you can smile and locate their sky blues or their minty greens? Have we become so distant in our communities that we can't even look a stranger in the eyes? As Americans, we typify a friendly and outgoing people-group; however, we choose solitude and self-deprivation over visual self-expression to random onlookers. While we are outgoing, we are not very trusting. Once we know someone, we instantly enlighten them with our whole life story, but until that opening line, we remain like a closed book.
The way to overcome this social timidity is to open yourself up first. Let the world see that you are a colorful gerbera daisy. Show them that you are trustworthy by your inviting facial expression and your overly-exercised and confident smile. Don't make them wait to find that out until they know your name, social security number, and your kids' birth order. Instead, let your presence reflect a welcoming aura.
The truth is that people are generally very friendly. I tried this as an experiment recently. I myself usually keep my expression to myself, kind of guarded like a military watch-person; however, at my step class this week, I tried making specific eye contact with a few people while smiling really big. Guess what happened? They smiled back and made focused eye contact with me as well. I've gone out of my way to make verbal contact with strangers as well and for the most part, people have responded back to me with energy and enthusiasm.
As moms, we are especially in need of adult interaction and encouragement. For those of us who stay at home with our kids, our days' activities range from reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to filling the crock pot with hamburger and veggies, to checking our email and blogs five billion times per day. Though our lives are full of immeasurable value, the monotonous routine can be kind of lonely.
Even for those who fulfill a traditional work-day, it's so important that we moms take opportunities to share our smiles and our eyes with others. Sometimes, a simple smile or generous expression is all you need to feel like you made a difference in someone else's day. Your friendly existence shows another parent that you relate to her struggles, joys, and triumphs. Likewise, it allows a fellow human being to reciprocate love and concern back to you as well. Instead of being impersonal, it's time to show off that new midnight black mascara and frilly pink lipstick; why not, when it's so easy to do?
Sometimes, it's hard to smile at others, like when you're driving while trying to stay in your own lane as fellow racers sprint their final lap of the Indy500. Likewise, it's somewhat challenging to show full eye-contact while jogging through the neighborhood, as sweat beads blur your vision. In general though, it's as if the world around us wants to display a zombie-like lack of emotion in a self-protective attempt to preserve anonymity. No smiles, no teeth showing, no sense of sharing a piece of your own humanity.
Why is it that most people have to be an acquaintance before you can smile and locate their sky blues or their minty greens? Have we become so distant in our communities that we can't even look a stranger in the eyes? As Americans, we typify a friendly and outgoing people-group; however, we choose solitude and self-deprivation over visual self-expression to random onlookers. While we are outgoing, we are not very trusting. Once we know someone, we instantly enlighten them with our whole life story, but until that opening line, we remain like a closed book.
The way to overcome this social timidity is to open yourself up first. Let the world see that you are a colorful gerbera daisy. Show them that you are trustworthy by your inviting facial expression and your overly-exercised and confident smile. Don't make them wait to find that out until they know your name, social security number, and your kids' birth order. Instead, let your presence reflect a welcoming aura.
The truth is that people are generally very friendly. I tried this as an experiment recently. I myself usually keep my expression to myself, kind of guarded like a military watch-person; however, at my step class this week, I tried making specific eye contact with a few people while smiling really big. Guess what happened? They smiled back and made focused eye contact with me as well. I've gone out of my way to make verbal contact with strangers as well and for the most part, people have responded back to me with energy and enthusiasm.
As moms, we are especially in need of adult interaction and encouragement. For those of us who stay at home with our kids, our days' activities range from reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to filling the crock pot with hamburger and veggies, to checking our email and blogs five billion times per day. Though our lives are full of immeasurable value, the monotonous routine can be kind of lonely.
Even for those who fulfill a traditional work-day, it's so important that we moms take opportunities to share our smiles and our eyes with others. Sometimes, a simple smile or generous expression is all you need to feel like you made a difference in someone else's day. Your friendly existence shows another parent that you relate to her struggles, joys, and triumphs. Likewise, it allows a fellow human being to reciprocate love and concern back to you as well. Instead of being impersonal, it's time to show off that new midnight black mascara and frilly pink lipstick; why not, when it's so easy to do?
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Hey Twinks. This is one of my favorite pieces that you've ever written. It moved me! I love you tons - Dani
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