Thursday, July 30, 2009
Plastic Surgery
As moms, we want to fit in just like everyone else. We want to look good as well. But, what are we telling our kids when we tweak our bodies to look just like Jessica Simpson, Megan Fox, and Angelina Jolie? Are risky plastic surgeries really necessary in order to be happy? The pressures and motivations are understandable, but ultimately the glamor-tweaking seems unwise.
Women should feel appreciated for wearing the skin they're in. Not that anyone can actually attain perfection, but it seems that some people have made that their new goal. When women get the idea that they have to fill their breasts with silicon in order to be good enough, it makes me wonder if the feminists have really progressed at all. No more wrinkles. Bigger breasts. A tummy tuck, perhaps?
What message are women sending to their kids if they themselves are unable to appreciate their own god-given bodies? To their daughters, they're telling them that outward beauty is the most important thing for women, even at the expense of their own health. No surgery is without risks, so taking on an unnecessary surgery just to look "more beautiful" should make women think twice.
These women are also creating an unrealistic and unimportant standard for their son's future search for a mate. She establishes a perfectionistic image of a woman's beauty that is void of true value. Attractive and large breasted women can certainly possess virtuous traits, but moms need to show their sons that they place a higher value on the internal rather than on the external attributes of a woman.
Women certainly have the right to make their own choices about plastic surgery. Some women opt for restorative surgery after a mastectomy, which seems like a totally different bag of beans. However, for those considering plastic surgery for vanity's sake, I hope that they will begin to see their true value and contribution to society.
Moms are beautiful, loving, and intelligent creatures. They certainly don't need a surgery or an alteration to gain more self-worth in my book. Share your thoughts here.
Women should feel appreciated for wearing the skin they're in. Not that anyone can actually attain perfection, but it seems that some people have made that their new goal. When women get the idea that they have to fill their breasts with silicon in order to be good enough, it makes me wonder if the feminists have really progressed at all. No more wrinkles. Bigger breasts. A tummy tuck, perhaps?
What message are women sending to their kids if they themselves are unable to appreciate their own god-given bodies? To their daughters, they're telling them that outward beauty is the most important thing for women, even at the expense of their own health. No surgery is without risks, so taking on an unnecessary surgery just to look "more beautiful" should make women think twice.
These women are also creating an unrealistic and unimportant standard for their son's future search for a mate. She establishes a perfectionistic image of a woman's beauty that is void of true value. Attractive and large breasted women can certainly possess virtuous traits, but moms need to show their sons that they place a higher value on the internal rather than on the external attributes of a woman.
Women certainly have the right to make their own choices about plastic surgery. Some women opt for restorative surgery after a mastectomy, which seems like a totally different bag of beans. However, for those considering plastic surgery for vanity's sake, I hope that they will begin to see their true value and contribution to society.
Moms are beautiful, loving, and intelligent creatures. They certainly don't need a surgery or an alteration to gain more self-worth in my book. Share your thoughts here.
Labels: moms, plastic surgery
Fiction as a Gateway to the Supernatural
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Two great kid's books
If you're running out of fun summer reads, check out What Do You Do With a Kangaroo? by Mercer Mayer and The Little Old Lady Who Was Not Afraid of Anything by Linda Williams. These two texts are great for young kids, ages two to six. Both books involve repetition and get the kids joining in on the refrain.
I was laughing louder than my three kids while reading Mayer's book out loud. The illustrations remind me of Winnie the Pooh, with their pastel colors and soft lines. The young female protagonist of the story mirrors my own four-year-old daughter, so it is a book that I've enjoyed reading again and again.
Williams' book is adventurous and spooky. Even though it's just a children's book, it reminds me of childhood memories of haunt and fright. The content is age-appropriate and the suspense provides fun entertainment. The illustrations by Megan Lloyd are a real treat as well. She fills the pages with rich fall tones of red and brown.
Share one of your favorite kid's books here. Tell us why you love it.
I was laughing louder than my three kids while reading Mayer's book out loud. The illustrations remind me of Winnie the Pooh, with their pastel colors and soft lines. The young female protagonist of the story mirrors my own four-year-old daughter, so it is a book that I've enjoyed reading again and again.
Williams' book is adventurous and spooky. Even though it's just a children's book, it reminds me of childhood memories of haunt and fright. The content is age-appropriate and the suspense provides fun entertainment. The illustrations by Megan Lloyd are a real treat as well. She fills the pages with rich fall tones of red and brown.
Share one of your favorite kid's books here. Tell us why you love it.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Opinions
As moms, we tend to share our opinions from A to Z and everything else in between. Whether it's about which sunscreen works best or how the President is doing, we're ready to provide a comment about it.
If you think professors and teachers know it all, think again. The true keepers of wisdom and knowledge are everyday moms. One might opine that Pampers are better than Huggies because of such and such. Another will give a brilliant explanation about how the meat from Vons tastes better than the meat from Stater Brother's.
A mom will let you know which teacher is the best for first grade and you'd think she was writing a dissertation on teaching qualifications. After speaking with her, you just hope your child gets that teacher because you've learned that all the others are inferior.
Maybe you're the sports mom who knows everything there is to know about soccer, football, and baseball. Or, perhaps you're the mom who knows about every Southern California theme park and their specific summer offerings.
It's not that omniscience is a bad thing, but it's important as moms that we remember to be mindful of others' opinions as well. When someone lets you know that your diaper-rash cream is toxic, inferring that you need to switch to a more eco-friendly one for your baby's health, it makes you feel irritated. But maybe you're sympathetic to her concerns because you've been an all-too-helpful mom before as well.
We've all been guilty of being overly involved with our suggestions or opinions. Because of our feminine nature to share it all, it's important to ask ourselves if we're really dishing out altruistic advice. Sometimes, we just need to shut up and listen.
What about you, have you ever felt frustrated by some "helpful" advice from a fellow mom? Share your thoughts here.
If you think professors and teachers know it all, think again. The true keepers of wisdom and knowledge are everyday moms. One might opine that Pampers are better than Huggies because of such and such. Another will give a brilliant explanation about how the meat from Vons tastes better than the meat from Stater Brother's.
A mom will let you know which teacher is the best for first grade and you'd think she was writing a dissertation on teaching qualifications. After speaking with her, you just hope your child gets that teacher because you've learned that all the others are inferior.
Maybe you're the sports mom who knows everything there is to know about soccer, football, and baseball. Or, perhaps you're the mom who knows about every Southern California theme park and their specific summer offerings.
It's not that omniscience is a bad thing, but it's important as moms that we remember to be mindful of others' opinions as well. When someone lets you know that your diaper-rash cream is toxic, inferring that you need to switch to a more eco-friendly one for your baby's health, it makes you feel irritated. But maybe you're sympathetic to her concerns because you've been an all-too-helpful mom before as well.
We've all been guilty of being overly involved with our suggestions or opinions. Because of our feminine nature to share it all, it's important to ask ourselves if we're really dishing out altruistic advice. Sometimes, we just need to shut up and listen.
What about you, have you ever felt frustrated by some "helpful" advice from a fellow mom? Share your thoughts here.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Welcome to Mariposa Kisses
Welcome to my blog. Some of you may have heard about this blog from today's Press Enterprise article titled "Blogging Moms: Mothers gain presence online, finding ideas, friends through networking sites, blogs."
If this is your first visit to my blog, I want to take a moment to say THANK YOU and WELCOME! Please feel free to comment on various posts. I'd love to hear about your journey as well.
May God bless you throughout the remainder of this rather warm Sunday afternoon and may you walk in HIS peace and joy!
Thanks for reading------------Dianne
If this is your first visit to my blog, I want to take a moment to say THANK YOU and WELCOME! Please feel free to comment on various posts. I'd love to hear about your journey as well.
May God bless you throughout the remainder of this rather warm Sunday afternoon and may you walk in HIS peace and joy!
Thanks for reading------------Dianne
Friday, July 24, 2009
Remembering Mom
Sometimes we get so busy with our lives that we forget to make time for our own mom. Our kids, spouse, work, and home cry out for our attention at every moment of the day. My kids literally demand all of me. Whether it's help on the potty, a sippy-cup refill, or a story to read together, it's never ending. Likewise, the laundry piles are toppling over and the dishes are all but jumping out of the sink themselves.
So, when my mom comes for a visit, it's easy to put her on the back-burner. She doesn't mind because she sees that everything is crazy and responds by helping me out while she's here. I love when Mom comes because my stove always gets cleaned and she teaches my middle daughter how to fold laundry.
I've been blessed to have Mom living only two hours away from me, but even with that fairly close distance, we only get to visit a limited number of times per year. Recently, I decided it was time for a special weekend to honor my mother.
My twin sister and I arranged a celebration weekend with our mom and a close friend. After an enjoyable and relaxing lunch at a favorite Italian restaurant, we headed to a tranquil winery, where we conversed and sampled flavorful wines. The night ended with a sleep-over at my sister's house where we watched movies until one or two in the morning. We had so much fun basking in the quiet moments and soaking up the lazy schedule.
Similarly, during a recent visit with Mom at my house, I decided that I wanted to set aside more time just for her. I limited my tasks in order to make her a priority. Even though the kids and chores begged for me to attend to them instead, I was able to steal a few quality moments with Mom. We enjoyed a flavorful glass of Merlot together at the end of the day. Likewise, I took advantage of more opportunities to sit and chat on the sofa and savored our quiet morning hours together before the chaos began.
Before Mom arrived, I called her and asked her to bring one of her favorite coffee mugs so that we could trade them as reminders of one another. She loaned me her "I love Mom" mug and I gave her my "Dianne" mug. It's remarkable how much this trade has meant to both of us even after a few short days.
We spoke yesterday and she told me "I'm using your mug today." I reiterated to her how much I've enjoyed using hers as well. Since we both love coffee, it's especially sweet to think of one another in this context. I know we're both drinking a fresh cup of strong brew in the morning and it makes me feel like we're closer.
Maybe you could trade something special with your mom as well. It could be a mug or a wine glass. Or you could exchange a place-mat, a juice pitcher, or a vase. As long as it is valuable to both of you and it makes you think of one another, then it's a worthwhile swap.
Since life is so short and our moms are so important to us, we need to make quality time for them. Life will always demand too much of us. Things will never really slow down. So, we just have to pull over to the side of the road and put on the brakes. This means that some things won't get done. But, the special memories with Mom will be etched in your heart forever. Some day when she's passed on, you'll be glad you wasted some time catching up with her.
So, when my mom comes for a visit, it's easy to put her on the back-burner. She doesn't mind because she sees that everything is crazy and responds by helping me out while she's here. I love when Mom comes because my stove always gets cleaned and she teaches my middle daughter how to fold laundry.
I've been blessed to have Mom living only two hours away from me, but even with that fairly close distance, we only get to visit a limited number of times per year. Recently, I decided it was time for a special weekend to honor my mother.
My twin sister and I arranged a celebration weekend with our mom and a close friend. After an enjoyable and relaxing lunch at a favorite Italian restaurant, we headed to a tranquil winery, where we conversed and sampled flavorful wines. The night ended with a sleep-over at my sister's house where we watched movies until one or two in the morning. We had so much fun basking in the quiet moments and soaking up the lazy schedule.
Similarly, during a recent visit with Mom at my house, I decided that I wanted to set aside more time just for her. I limited my tasks in order to make her a priority. Even though the kids and chores begged for me to attend to them instead, I was able to steal a few quality moments with Mom. We enjoyed a flavorful glass of Merlot together at the end of the day. Likewise, I took advantage of more opportunities to sit and chat on the sofa and savored our quiet morning hours together before the chaos began.
Before Mom arrived, I called her and asked her to bring one of her favorite coffee mugs so that we could trade them as reminders of one another. She loaned me her "I love Mom" mug and I gave her my "Dianne" mug. It's remarkable how much this trade has meant to both of us even after a few short days.
We spoke yesterday and she told me "I'm using your mug today." I reiterated to her how much I've enjoyed using hers as well. Since we both love coffee, it's especially sweet to think of one another in this context. I know we're both drinking a fresh cup of strong brew in the morning and it makes me feel like we're closer.
Maybe you could trade something special with your mom as well. It could be a mug or a wine glass. Or you could exchange a place-mat, a juice pitcher, or a vase. As long as it is valuable to both of you and it makes you think of one another, then it's a worthwhile swap.
Since life is so short and our moms are so important to us, we need to make quality time for them. Life will always demand too much of us. Things will never really slow down. So, we just have to pull over to the side of the road and put on the brakes. This means that some things won't get done. But, the special memories with Mom will be etched in your heart forever. Some day when she's passed on, you'll be glad you wasted some time catching up with her.
Labels: grandmas, moms, remembering
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Three-Room Dome Tent
The smell of dust has never been so sweet. You open up the warped and faded storage bag to retrieve that old tent and the memories come flooding in. Thoughts of hot chocolate and S'mores around the fire-ring fill your mind. So do the spooky campfire stories about ghosts and goblins.
I especially enjoy my childhood memories from beach-camping. The food tasted so good. I'm not sure which was better, the smoky flavor of eggs and bacon or the salty ocean breeze in the background. We loved playing on the beach all day long and walking up the tower of never-ending wooden steps to a cold piece of watermelon or a chilled beverage. We frequently gathered up a wad of quarters and walked or biked to the camp-store for frozen fruit bars, the kind with real fruit in them. Remember those? The long days ended with glorious sunsets overlooking the majestic Pacific.
Desert camping was a blast as well. It felt ironic how you could sizzle in the hot desert sun but hike up to an icy-cold spring to cool yourself in the shade. The desert flowers evidenced miraculous beauty, the kind you appreciate more because it's so anomalous. Now as an adult, I have come to admire the desert in its entirety and not just for its seasonal flowers. Though I was terrified as a child of the creepy desert creatures, I always returned home unscathed and full of fun memories.
As a newly married couple, my husband and I did a ton of camping. It was a great way to start out a marriage, especially given our limited finances and all the free-time. My husband was finishing up his Master's degree out in IL, so we were far from family. During this time of independence, we enjoyed camping on the dunes of Lake Michigan and visiting a variety of IL state parks. Being a California girl all of my life, it was the funniest feeling to dive through a fresh-water wave.
After eleven years of marriage and three kids later, we've ordered our first family dome tent. Though our weathered four-person tent has held up well, our family now requires a mega-tent. After a half-day's research of more tents that I knew even existed, I ordered a three-room dome tent online. We are now expectantly awaiting its arrival and will soon be off on our very first "family" camping trip. Now our kids will have a chance to create their own camping memories. We'll keep the ghost stories to a minimum since our kids are fairly young, but we won't shy away from a variety of hikes and adventures.
What are some of your favorite camping memories? Any crazy tent stories? My husband prides himself on his ability to put up our small four-person tent in less than one minute. I have a feeling our 150 square foot family tent will take a bit longer than that. Share some of your favorite camping stories here.
I especially enjoy my childhood memories from beach-camping. The food tasted so good. I'm not sure which was better, the smoky flavor of eggs and bacon or the salty ocean breeze in the background. We loved playing on the beach all day long and walking up the tower of never-ending wooden steps to a cold piece of watermelon or a chilled beverage. We frequently gathered up a wad of quarters and walked or biked to the camp-store for frozen fruit bars, the kind with real fruit in them. Remember those? The long days ended with glorious sunsets overlooking the majestic Pacific.
Desert camping was a blast as well. It felt ironic how you could sizzle in the hot desert sun but hike up to an icy-cold spring to cool yourself in the shade. The desert flowers evidenced miraculous beauty, the kind you appreciate more because it's so anomalous. Now as an adult, I have come to admire the desert in its entirety and not just for its seasonal flowers. Though I was terrified as a child of the creepy desert creatures, I always returned home unscathed and full of fun memories.
As a newly married couple, my husband and I did a ton of camping. It was a great way to start out a marriage, especially given our limited finances and all the free-time. My husband was finishing up his Master's degree out in IL, so we were far from family. During this time of independence, we enjoyed camping on the dunes of Lake Michigan and visiting a variety of IL state parks. Being a California girl all of my life, it was the funniest feeling to dive through a fresh-water wave.
After eleven years of marriage and three kids later, we've ordered our first family dome tent. Though our weathered four-person tent has held up well, our family now requires a mega-tent. After a half-day's research of more tents that I knew even existed, I ordered a three-room dome tent online. We are now expectantly awaiting its arrival and will soon be off on our very first "family" camping trip. Now our kids will have a chance to create their own camping memories. We'll keep the ghost stories to a minimum since our kids are fairly young, but we won't shy away from a variety of hikes and adventures.
What are some of your favorite camping memories? Any crazy tent stories? My husband prides himself on his ability to put up our small four-person tent in less than one minute. I have a feeling our 150 square foot family tent will take a bit longer than that. Share some of your favorite camping stories here.
Labels: camping, family, kids, tents
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
July 21st: Streams in the Desert Devotional
I was so encouraged by this piece from Streams in the Desert, that I wanted to post it up here for you to read. It reminded me about my own weak faith in God and encouraged me to rest more faithfully in Him. He cares for you too, so I hope you are uplifted as well.
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"Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece" (Judges 6:39).
There are three levels of faith in the Christian experience. The first is being able to believe only when we see some sign or have some strong emotion. Like Gideon, we feel the fleece and are willing to trust God if it is wet. This may be genuine faith but it is imperfect. It is continually looking to feelings or some other sign instead of the Word of God. We have taken a great step toward maturity when we trust God without relying on our feelings. It is more of a blessing when we believe without experiencing any emotion.
While the first level of faith believes when our emotions are favorable, the second believes when all feelings are absent. And the third level transcends the other two, for it is faith that believes God and His Word when circumstances, emotions, appearances, people, and human reason all seem to urge something to the contrary. Paul exercised this level of faith when he said, "When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and the storm continued raging, we finally gave up all hope of being saved" (Acts 27:20), then nevertheless went on to say, "Keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me" (verse 25).
May God grant us faith to completely trust His Word, even when every other sign points the other way.
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"Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece" (Judges 6:39).
There are three levels of faith in the Christian experience. The first is being able to believe only when we see some sign or have some strong emotion. Like Gideon, we feel the fleece and are willing to trust God if it is wet. This may be genuine faith but it is imperfect. It is continually looking to feelings or some other sign instead of the Word of God. We have taken a great step toward maturity when we trust God without relying on our feelings. It is more of a blessing when we believe without experiencing any emotion.
While the first level of faith believes when our emotions are favorable, the second believes when all feelings are absent. And the third level transcends the other two, for it is faith that believes God and His Word when circumstances, emotions, appearances, people, and human reason all seem to urge something to the contrary. Paul exercised this level of faith when he said, "When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and the storm continued raging, we finally gave up all hope of being saved" (Acts 27:20), then nevertheless went on to say, "Keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me" (verse 25).
May God grant us faith to completely trust His Word, even when every other sign points the other way.
Teaching Our Kids Responsibility
It's integral that we teach our kids to behave responsibly. One element of that includes good follow-through. When our kids receive gifts, we should encourage them to write thank-you notes themselves. By letting them pick out the card or by designing their own, they are thinking through who bought them each particular gift. If they are young, you may choose to write most of the thank-yous while letting them pick out a couple of special ones. This trains them to form the habit from an early age.
Another way of instilling responsibility in our children is by requiring our kids to clean up after themselves. When they dump out multiple bins of Legos, they make a huge mess. By making them pile the Legos back in at the end of the day, it shows them that they are accountable for doing their part. It will make them think twice about what kind of mess they make the following day. Is she really going to make all of those puzzles or is it worth it to just take out the one she'll actually use?
Holding our kids accountable is tough work. We want to jump in there and clean the mess up ourselves. It's quicker when we do it and more tidy. But, by letting our kids do it themselves, it will prepare them for the future. When your son moves in to his first apartment or college dorm, you won't be there to pick up his messes. The good habits you teach him now will follow him into adulthood. Once your son is married, his wife will be especially thankful.
The wise spending of money is something worth passing on to our kids as well. When my son recently got six dollars in a birthday card, we discussed how he could spend it. I told him that he could get six one-dollar items or that he could use the whole amount for one or two different gadgets. He decided that six one-dollar toys would be the best way to invest his money. He's learning how to be financially autonomous in a controlled environment.
Our kids also get to purchase a reasonably priced toy (in the $5-$10 range) at the completion of their chore charts, which takes anywhere from one to two months, depending on their levels of motivation. This teaches our kids a practical work ethic about getting rewarded if they choose to complete certain tasks. In the real world, if you go above and beyond, you frequently get a raise or a promotion as well.
There's no question that our kids should bask in the fantasy world of make-believe and play. Their main objective is to have fun and to eat tasty foods. However, it is smart as parents to throw in some real life lessons about responsibility along the way. We can even read them books that teach these life concepts, such as the Bible, or other religious or ethical texts. My family has enjoyed reading books about Abraham Lincoln, the Mayo Brothers, and Louis Pasteur. In all four of these men, our kids can observe how their perseverance and hard work paid off.
Another way of instilling responsibility in our children is by requiring our kids to clean up after themselves. When they dump out multiple bins of Legos, they make a huge mess. By making them pile the Legos back in at the end of the day, it shows them that they are accountable for doing their part. It will make them think twice about what kind of mess they make the following day. Is she really going to make all of those puzzles or is it worth it to just take out the one she'll actually use?
Holding our kids accountable is tough work. We want to jump in there and clean the mess up ourselves. It's quicker when we do it and more tidy. But, by letting our kids do it themselves, it will prepare them for the future. When your son moves in to his first apartment or college dorm, you won't be there to pick up his messes. The good habits you teach him now will follow him into adulthood. Once your son is married, his wife will be especially thankful.
The wise spending of money is something worth passing on to our kids as well. When my son recently got six dollars in a birthday card, we discussed how he could spend it. I told him that he could get six one-dollar items or that he could use the whole amount for one or two different gadgets. He decided that six one-dollar toys would be the best way to invest his money. He's learning how to be financially autonomous in a controlled environment.
Our kids also get to purchase a reasonably priced toy (in the $5-$10 range) at the completion of their chore charts, which takes anywhere from one to two months, depending on their levels of motivation. This teaches our kids a practical work ethic about getting rewarded if they choose to complete certain tasks. In the real world, if you go above and beyond, you frequently get a raise or a promotion as well.
There's no question that our kids should bask in the fantasy world of make-believe and play. Their main objective is to have fun and to eat tasty foods. However, it is smart as parents to throw in some real life lessons about responsibility along the way. We can even read them books that teach these life concepts, such as the Bible, or other religious or ethical texts. My family has enjoyed reading books about Abraham Lincoln, the Mayo Brothers, and Louis Pasteur. In all four of these men, our kids can observe how their perseverance and hard work paid off.
Labels: hard work, kids, parents, responsibility
Monday, July 20, 2009
Worry Monsters
Have you ever met a worry monster before? You might wonder what I'm talking about, so I'll reword my question. Have you ever met a mom before? Let's face it Moms, we're worry-warts down to the core. We can't help it. It's second nature to think through every possible scenario, which makes us efficient at paying the bills but not so good at relaxing and lowering our blood pressure.
While it's reasonable for us to be cautious, it's ridiculous to be consumed by worry. We should make intelligent choices to protect our family, like locking the doors at night, closing first-floor windows, and storing dangerous house-hold items in safe places. We can also be smart when we're out and about, by holding our child's hand while crossing the street, teaching her to ask us first before accepting candy from a stranger, and having her stay close by while at the mall or at a theme park.
Most of us are a bit more generous with our cautious natures. We worry about everything. What if the phone bill fell out of the mailbox? What if the mom doing carpool today gets hit by another car? What if the note I wrote to his teacher fell out of his folder? Does my daughter remember our phone number if she needs to call me while at the slumber party? What if someone kidnaps my kids while they are waiting for me to pick them up from soccer practice? What if my daughter's frequent bloody noses means she has a brain tumor?
If you aren't this kind of incessant worrier, then forgive my generalizations. But, for most moms, we really have a hard time shutting down and letting go of our plethora of concerns. If we don't relax about the doomsday possibilities that affect a fairly small number of people, then we won't be able to live full lives. If you followed through on all of your worries, you'd never send your kid to camp or open your windows for a cool breeze. You'd always put your alarm system on, which would principally act as shock-therapy for your family and surrounding neighbors.
It's time to reclaim your life by choosing peace and calm. You can make wise and practical choices but can't save your kids from every possibility of imminent danger. A sun-flare could strike and there's nothing you could do about that (Anyone seen the new Nicholas Cage movie: Knowing?). So, do your best to care for your kids without losing your mind. Your family will appreciate it as well.
While it's reasonable for us to be cautious, it's ridiculous to be consumed by worry. We should make intelligent choices to protect our family, like locking the doors at night, closing first-floor windows, and storing dangerous house-hold items in safe places. We can also be smart when we're out and about, by holding our child's hand while crossing the street, teaching her to ask us first before accepting candy from a stranger, and having her stay close by while at the mall or at a theme park.
Most of us are a bit more generous with our cautious natures. We worry about everything. What if the phone bill fell out of the mailbox? What if the mom doing carpool today gets hit by another car? What if the note I wrote to his teacher fell out of his folder? Does my daughter remember our phone number if she needs to call me while at the slumber party? What if someone kidnaps my kids while they are waiting for me to pick them up from soccer practice? What if my daughter's frequent bloody noses means she has a brain tumor?
If you aren't this kind of incessant worrier, then forgive my generalizations. But, for most moms, we really have a hard time shutting down and letting go of our plethora of concerns. If we don't relax about the doomsday possibilities that affect a fairly small number of people, then we won't be able to live full lives. If you followed through on all of your worries, you'd never send your kid to camp or open your windows for a cool breeze. You'd always put your alarm system on, which would principally act as shock-therapy for your family and surrounding neighbors.
It's time to reclaim your life by choosing peace and calm. You can make wise and practical choices but can't save your kids from every possibility of imminent danger. A sun-flare could strike and there's nothing you could do about that (Anyone seen the new Nicholas Cage movie: Knowing?). So, do your best to care for your kids without losing your mind. Your family will appreciate it as well.
Labels: family, kids, moms, worry
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Kid Friendly?
Some stores and restaurants are just not kid friendly. And that's okay of course because you'd expect for certain places to exclude kids. It's ironic, however, when you receive an unfriendly scowl or a glance of disdain at a place that you'd expect to be kid-friendly.
I recently had an extremely negative experience while perusing kid's books with my three young children at Barnes & Noble in San Bernardino. Since we were in the kid's section, I was surprised to receive such a harsh request for my daughter to stop playing with the plush toys. After being treated quite rudely, I asked the employee why they placed the toys down at kid-level if they didn't actually want the kids to play with them. She responded that "It was a courtesy to the customers for the kids not to play with the toys," to which I wondered, "Am I not a customer?"
Another unpleasant event took place in a Boy Scout's supply store, where I tried to outfit our son for his first den meeting. The woman "helping" me seemed put out and unnerved that I would actually bring my children into the store with me while shopping. I was flabbergasted at the minimal effort she provided, especially given that she didn't seem to want us in her store. I rhetorically thought, "If you want us out of here so badly, could you please help me out a little bit so we could just leave?"
In contrast to these two stores, Borders in Riverside welcomes the whole family. The kid's section radiates a message that children are permitted and celebrated. The section might not always look perfectly arranged, but it's because kids are actually there reading the kid's books. The plush toys will likewise come pre-hugged and loved before your purchase which is fine with my three kids. We've made our fair share of purchases there for years now and are thrilled to maintain our frequent member's card with them.
Another great place for kids is Pat and Oscar's in San Bernardino. They love the whole family. Right when we walked in during our most recent visit, we were all handed a tasty and buttery bread-stick to munch on while we placed our order. So smart since the whole family was starving. The food is filling and reasonably priced. The entire restaurant is kid-friendly and welcoming. The family can sit in a variety of booths indoors or choose for a more airy setting outside on their patio. Right next to the restaurant sits a pond full of geese and turtles. The fish are quite assertive though, so watch out for little fingers.
How about you? Have you had any positive or negative experiences with your kids while out and about in our community? Share your thoughts here.
I recently had an extremely negative experience while perusing kid's books with my three young children at Barnes & Noble in San Bernardino. Since we were in the kid's section, I was surprised to receive such a harsh request for my daughter to stop playing with the plush toys. After being treated quite rudely, I asked the employee why they placed the toys down at kid-level if they didn't actually want the kids to play with them. She responded that "It was a courtesy to the customers for the kids not to play with the toys," to which I wondered, "Am I not a customer?"
Another unpleasant event took place in a Boy Scout's supply store, where I tried to outfit our son for his first den meeting. The woman "helping" me seemed put out and unnerved that I would actually bring my children into the store with me while shopping. I was flabbergasted at the minimal effort she provided, especially given that she didn't seem to want us in her store. I rhetorically thought, "If you want us out of here so badly, could you please help me out a little bit so we could just leave?"
In contrast to these two stores, Borders in Riverside welcomes the whole family. The kid's section radiates a message that children are permitted and celebrated. The section might not always look perfectly arranged, but it's because kids are actually there reading the kid's books. The plush toys will likewise come pre-hugged and loved before your purchase which is fine with my three kids. We've made our fair share of purchases there for years now and are thrilled to maintain our frequent member's card with them.
Another great place for kids is Pat and Oscar's in San Bernardino. They love the whole family. Right when we walked in during our most recent visit, we were all handed a tasty and buttery bread-stick to munch on while we placed our order. So smart since the whole family was starving. The food is filling and reasonably priced. The entire restaurant is kid-friendly and welcoming. The family can sit in a variety of booths indoors or choose for a more airy setting outside on their patio. Right next to the restaurant sits a pond full of geese and turtles. The fish are quite assertive though, so watch out for little fingers.
How about you? Have you had any positive or negative experiences with your kids while out and about in our community? Share your thoughts here.
Labels: kid-friendly, parents, restaurants, stores
You Will Deny Me Three Times
Peter replied, "Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death" (Luke 22:33). Jesus answered, "I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me" (verse 34).
As Christian moms, we are called to live differently. We are called to represent our faith in Christ. That means, if someone is in need, we should try to lend a hand. We should apologize and be the bigger person in a difficult situation. If a fellow mom is having a difficult time with her kids or in her marriage, we should offer to pray with her.
Sometimes, we just don't feel up to it. We feel tired and worn out, like "Let someone else love that person today." Even the disciples fell asleep on Jesus after he returned from His time in prayer. Peter was one of Jesus' closest friends and he denied him three times. What's the big deal if we do the same thing?
"A servant girl saw (Peter) seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, 'This man was with him.' But he denied it. 'Woman, I don't know him,' he said" (verses 56+57).
"A little later someone else saw him and said, 'You also are one of them.' 'Man, I am not!' Peter replied" (verse 58).
"About an hour later another asserted, 'Certainly this fellow was with (Jesus), for he is a Galilean.' Peter replied, 'Man, I don't know what you're talking about!'" (verse 60a).
Immediately after Peter's third denial, as predicted, the rooster crowed. "The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter..." (verse 61a). What a convicting scene. Peter had been so convinced that he would do anything for Jesus. Then, he would not even admit that he knew Him.
Have there been times in your Christian walk where you have denied Christ? Where you haven't even admitted to others that you know Him?
As moms, we want to show our kids God's love and we long for them to know Him. The best way to model that out is in our own lives on a daily basis. If our kids see us helping a homeless person, they will likely do the same thing when they are older. If they observe us reading our Bibles and praying, they will likely model the behavior. If they hear us accepting our spouse's apology when he is wrong, they will also mirror that difficult task.
Being a mom is tough work and being a Christian can feel exhausting as well. Just remember that you're not alone. Without God's help, I couldn't do either task well. But, I love Paul's reminder, that "I can do everything through (Christ) who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13).
As Christian moms, we are called to live differently. We are called to represent our faith in Christ. That means, if someone is in need, we should try to lend a hand. We should apologize and be the bigger person in a difficult situation. If a fellow mom is having a difficult time with her kids or in her marriage, we should offer to pray with her.
Sometimes, we just don't feel up to it. We feel tired and worn out, like "Let someone else love that person today." Even the disciples fell asleep on Jesus after he returned from His time in prayer. Peter was one of Jesus' closest friends and he denied him three times. What's the big deal if we do the same thing?
"A servant girl saw (Peter) seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, 'This man was with him.' But he denied it. 'Woman, I don't know him,' he said" (verses 56+57).
"A little later someone else saw him and said, 'You also are one of them.' 'Man, I am not!' Peter replied" (verse 58).
"About an hour later another asserted, 'Certainly this fellow was with (Jesus), for he is a Galilean.' Peter replied, 'Man, I don't know what you're talking about!'" (verse 60a).
Immediately after Peter's third denial, as predicted, the rooster crowed. "The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter..." (verse 61a). What a convicting scene. Peter had been so convinced that he would do anything for Jesus. Then, he would not even admit that he knew Him.
Have there been times in your Christian walk where you have denied Christ? Where you haven't even admitted to others that you know Him?
As moms, we want to show our kids God's love and we long for them to know Him. The best way to model that out is in our own lives on a daily basis. If our kids see us helping a homeless person, they will likely do the same thing when they are older. If they observe us reading our Bibles and praying, they will likely model the behavior. If they hear us accepting our spouse's apology when he is wrong, they will also mirror that difficult task.
Being a mom is tough work and being a Christian can feel exhausting as well. Just remember that you're not alone. Without God's help, I couldn't do either task well. But, I love Paul's reminder, that "I can do everything through (Christ) who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13).
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
They Still Believe in Santa
"Mommy, do the elves help Santa make the toys?" my four-year-old daughter asked. I answered, "Yes, they do" feeling a little bit dishonest. I was wondering how much longer she and her other two siblings would believe in Santa Claus.
I get a similar feeling when I talk to my son about how cool it will be when he loses his first tooth because then he'll "get to put it in a cute pillow and get money for it." I'm not quite sure how he'll respond when he finds out that the tooth fairy is just a myth, but I think he'll come through unscathed.
As parents, it's okay for us to promote dreams and beliefs in our kids that are short-lived. My daughter frequently informs me of her career goals: to be a dentist, then a surfer, then a mom, and then finally a grandma. I never dissuade her from shooting for the stars and am fully satisfied that the top of her list includes being a "mom and then a grandma."
We should encourage our kids to dream big even if we know that our economy might not support their best efforts. Even if we know they have too many dreams for one lifetime. Even if they are silly, incoherent, and nonsensical. Even if we know that they will change their major a hundred times within their first year of college.
We need to support our children because it shows that we love and believe in them. Ultimately, if they know those two things, then they really can save the planet from global warming and accomplish world peace. In their own small space and throughout their relatively insignificant existence, they will experience love, peace, and joy because we have been their cheerleaders.
Santa might not be real, but they'll never forget your eyes...when they sparkled with your expression of wonder as you described his colorful toy-filled workshop or his royal-red velvet suit and his puffy cloud-like beard. They'll never forget the precious hand-sewn tooth fairy pillow passed down from great grandma Grace either.
They'll always remember how you were the loudest fan at their Little League baseball game and how you talked about "winning the next one" over a cold bottle of Gatorade. Their dreams of becoming a Major League baseball player will likely fizzle over time, replaced by the pursuit of finding a good job and a reasonably priced home.
Your investment in their dreams however big or small will help them to feel valued, so keep up the hard work moms and dads. Parenthood is exhausting and frequently void of visible results, but never forget your most important job of all. You are the keepers of your children's dreams.
I get a similar feeling when I talk to my son about how cool it will be when he loses his first tooth because then he'll "get to put it in a cute pillow and get money for it." I'm not quite sure how he'll respond when he finds out that the tooth fairy is just a myth, but I think he'll come through unscathed.
As parents, it's okay for us to promote dreams and beliefs in our kids that are short-lived. My daughter frequently informs me of her career goals: to be a dentist, then a surfer, then a mom, and then finally a grandma. I never dissuade her from shooting for the stars and am fully satisfied that the top of her list includes being a "mom and then a grandma."
We should encourage our kids to dream big even if we know that our economy might not support their best efforts. Even if we know they have too many dreams for one lifetime. Even if they are silly, incoherent, and nonsensical. Even if we know that they will change their major a hundred times within their first year of college.
We need to support our children because it shows that we love and believe in them. Ultimately, if they know those two things, then they really can save the planet from global warming and accomplish world peace. In their own small space and throughout their relatively insignificant existence, they will experience love, peace, and joy because we have been their cheerleaders.
Santa might not be real, but they'll never forget your eyes...when they sparkled with your expression of wonder as you described his colorful toy-filled workshop or his royal-red velvet suit and his puffy cloud-like beard. They'll never forget the precious hand-sewn tooth fairy pillow passed down from great grandma Grace either.
They'll always remember how you were the loudest fan at their Little League baseball game and how you talked about "winning the next one" over a cold bottle of Gatorade. Their dreams of becoming a Major League baseball player will likely fizzle over time, replaced by the pursuit of finding a good job and a reasonably priced home.
Your investment in their dreams however big or small will help them to feel valued, so keep up the hard work moms and dads. Parenthood is exhausting and frequently void of visible results, but never forget your most important job of all. You are the keepers of your children's dreams.
Labels: dads, dreams, moms, santa clause
Monday, July 13, 2009
Winery at Canyon Crest
After listening to our kids' whining all day long, isn't it time we moms took a break? For a much more relaxing kind of wine, check out the Winery at Canyon Crest in Riverside. If you've met the owners, Kevin and Carolyn Craig, you know that you're in for a treat. The ambiance is classy and relaxed and the prices are reasonable.
If you're not sure what kind of wine you like, you'll have plenty to choose from. You're sure to find one you love with their plethora of offerings: reds, whites, fruity wines, and even dessert wines. Carolyn's favorite is the Pinot Noir because it's the wine that convinced the couple to become a part of the business that they're franchised with.
They've recently added two new wines. The German Piesporter is "an easy drinking German classic packed with a nose of honey and fresh roses. The palate is soft and fruity, offering medium acidic notes with traces of apple, peaches, and tropical fruit." The White Chocolate White Port is "a phenomenal wine and a necessary addition to the well-stocked wine cellar. There is nothing like it anywhere, so the only place to find it is at our Winery. Quantities are limited so when they're gone, they're gone."
The Winery at Canyon Crest also offers fun entertainment ranging from folk and classic rock, jazz, and Latin music to comedy. Friday, July 17th they will have a Salsa, Merengue, and Cumbia "Dance Night" from 7-10pm. On Saturday, July 18th, the Laughing Lawyer will present "Comedy Night" at the Winery from 8-10pm. All guests must be 18 or over to enjoy the show and a two drink minimum is required.
On Friday, July 24th, you can enjoy "Nouveau Flamenco/Latin Guitar" with David Correa from 7-9pm. Come back Saturday, July 25th for popular guitar and vocals from 7-9pm with a two drink minimum.
When asked what he enjoys most about running a winery, Kevin said, "Meeting and talking with people who enjoy life and wine." Kevin also said that people would love their particular winery because "We give our guests the opportunity to bottle their own wine."
The process of making one's own vintage is very simple. At $10 or less per bottle including the custom label, making your own custom wine is reasonable and cool. Likewise, it's quick. The bottling process only takes about an hour.
Now through July 31st, a winning hand could equal a free personal vintage. "Buy a full batch of your favorite wine and draw a playing card. If you draw an Ace, the batch is FREE. Any other numeric card, you'll get the value times 10 as a discount off a full batch. You're guaranteed to win at least $20 off every batch."
For an after hours party, they only charge $100 for the use of their facility for two hours. This would be a great place to consider for an upcoming business promotion or a social event. There is a ten percent discount on your wine when buying a case, which includes twelve bottles.
To an inexperienced wine drinker who just wants to relax, Kevin would say, "We offer wine tasting daily where we provide a painless introduction to wine enjoyment." To the more adventurous wine drinker, this is the place for you as well. You'll have so many great wines to choose from and can even branch out by making your very own vintage. Come try out the Winery at Canyon Crest for yourself.
If you're not sure what kind of wine you like, you'll have plenty to choose from. You're sure to find one you love with their plethora of offerings: reds, whites, fruity wines, and even dessert wines. Carolyn's favorite is the Pinot Noir because it's the wine that convinced the couple to become a part of the business that they're franchised with.
They've recently added two new wines. The German Piesporter is "an easy drinking German classic packed with a nose of honey and fresh roses. The palate is soft and fruity, offering medium acidic notes with traces of apple, peaches, and tropical fruit." The White Chocolate White Port is "a phenomenal wine and a necessary addition to the well-stocked wine cellar. There is nothing like it anywhere, so the only place to find it is at our Winery. Quantities are limited so when they're gone, they're gone."
The Winery at Canyon Crest also offers fun entertainment ranging from folk and classic rock, jazz, and Latin music to comedy. Friday, July 17th they will have a Salsa, Merengue, and Cumbia "Dance Night" from 7-10pm. On Saturday, July 18th, the Laughing Lawyer will present "Comedy Night" at the Winery from 8-10pm. All guests must be 18 or over to enjoy the show and a two drink minimum is required.
On Friday, July 24th, you can enjoy "Nouveau Flamenco/Latin Guitar" with David Correa from 7-9pm. Come back Saturday, July 25th for popular guitar and vocals from 7-9pm with a two drink minimum.
When asked what he enjoys most about running a winery, Kevin said, "Meeting and talking with people who enjoy life and wine." Kevin also said that people would love their particular winery because "We give our guests the opportunity to bottle their own wine."
The process of making one's own vintage is very simple. At $10 or less per bottle including the custom label, making your own custom wine is reasonable and cool. Likewise, it's quick. The bottling process only takes about an hour.
Now through July 31st, a winning hand could equal a free personal vintage. "Buy a full batch of your favorite wine and draw a playing card. If you draw an Ace, the batch is FREE. Any other numeric card, you'll get the value times 10 as a discount off a full batch. You're guaranteed to win at least $20 off every batch."
For an after hours party, they only charge $100 for the use of their facility for two hours. This would be a great place to consider for an upcoming business promotion or a social event. There is a ten percent discount on your wine when buying a case, which includes twelve bottles.
To an inexperienced wine drinker who just wants to relax, Kevin would say, "We offer wine tasting daily where we provide a painless introduction to wine enjoyment." To the more adventurous wine drinker, this is the place for you as well. You'll have so many great wines to choose from and can even branch out by making your very own vintage. Come try out the Winery at Canyon Crest for yourself.
Labels: moms, Riverside, Winery at Canyon Crest
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Euphemisms
Being a good example is challenging but important, especially since our kids frequently model themselves after our behavior. They listen with the keen hearing of a bat, except of course when it's time to come downstairs for dinner. Since our children generally tune in to most of what we say, we need to be careful to use appropriate words in front of them.
Yesterday, I was handing my kids their ritualistic bedtime snack. You know how your kids always develop that stomach-eating starvation right before bed? Like they're going to die if they don't get a snack immediately. We were right on schedule for a two-hour bedtime routine and after a long day, I was at my wit's end.
After carefully handing a banana to my youngest daughter, she dropped it on the carpet. Feeling quite impatient and totally tired, I retorted, "Dammit" to which my daughter repeated "Dammit." It's not that this word is especially horrific or anything, but when it comes out of a two-year-old's mouth, it's pretty sobering. It does sound so much cuter when she says it though.
As role-models, if we want our kids to use kind words, then we need to use them as well. If we don't want our kids to use foul language, then we too need to keep our mouths free of unpleasant verbiage. Of course we all blow it sometimes, like my response during the bedtime snack. I wish I would have chosen the euphemism and said "Dang it" instead, but I didn't.
We can all aim to do better, especially when a word slips out that's way worse than "Dammit." When our kids repeat inappropriate words, we need to take the time to discuss with them why they shouldn't use those types of words. We even need to share how we as parents are not supposed to say them either.
Kids hold us accountable by saying things like, "But you used that word the other day." Our best defense is, "You're right, I did say that and Mommy was wrong too." By keeping it real, our kids will see that we are authentic and just trying to do our best. When we make mistakes, we need to apologize for them and then move on, aspiring to do better the next time.
Yesterday, I was handing my kids their ritualistic bedtime snack. You know how your kids always develop that stomach-eating starvation right before bed? Like they're going to die if they don't get a snack immediately. We were right on schedule for a two-hour bedtime routine and after a long day, I was at my wit's end.
After carefully handing a banana to my youngest daughter, she dropped it on the carpet. Feeling quite impatient and totally tired, I retorted, "Dammit" to which my daughter repeated "Dammit." It's not that this word is especially horrific or anything, but when it comes out of a two-year-old's mouth, it's pretty sobering. It does sound so much cuter when she says it though.
As role-models, if we want our kids to use kind words, then we need to use them as well. If we don't want our kids to use foul language, then we too need to keep our mouths free of unpleasant verbiage. Of course we all blow it sometimes, like my response during the bedtime snack. I wish I would have chosen the euphemism and said "Dang it" instead, but I didn't.
We can all aim to do better, especially when a word slips out that's way worse than "Dammit." When our kids repeat inappropriate words, we need to take the time to discuss with them why they shouldn't use those types of words. We even need to share how we as parents are not supposed to say them either.
Kids hold us accountable by saying things like, "But you used that word the other day." Our best defense is, "You're right, I did say that and Mommy was wrong too." By keeping it real, our kids will see that we are authentic and just trying to do our best. When we make mistakes, we need to apologize for them and then move on, aspiring to do better the next time.
Labels: euphemisms, kids, parents
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
To Caff or not to Caff
"To be, or not to be, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles..." and yadda-yadda-yadda. Shakespeare was going somewhere deep with his philosophical question of existence in Hamlet. My question as a mom of three small kids is way more simplistic: "To caff or not to caff?" I've gone back and forth you know, switching between caffeinated coffee and decaf. I've concluded that I really do need at least one cup of strong caffeinated coffee to make it through the morning. By the afternoon, I'm pretty good with a tall glass of ice-filled coke.
Let's face it Moms, how else are we supposed to get through the day without the caffeine? When I try to switch back to decaf, I feel like my brain goes on vacay to some tropical island, which sounds pretty pleasant except for the fact that I do have to watch over my wild and mischievous kids. The interesting thing is that my husband noticed a personality change when I stopped drinking so much coffee between graduate programs. I think he liked the "Decaf" me better, but like I said, it's pretty much a non-negotiable.
The other person who encourages me to limit my caffeine intake is my doctor. Drinking too much caffeine adds a lot of stress to our bodies, as evidenced by the low that hits around eleven o'clock when the body and brain cry out for a refill. It can also act as a diuretic, which could be good or bad depending on your gastro needs. Caffeine can of course make you a bit jittery, which has personality changing implications, but if it makes you more animated and enthusiastic, that could be positive, right? For some of the active thinkers out there, also known as "worriers," caffeine can also keep you awake at night. But, if you're like most moms, you're so tired that you can hardly even keep your eyes open by the time you collapse into bed around midnight.
The real question is whether or not caffeine makes you happy. For me, it's not possible to quit drinking caffeinated coffee at this point in my life. I'm happier when I drink it because I feel like myself and I feel more energetic. Coffee's bold aroma makes me sing a joyful tune as I hear the drum-beat of my coffee maker in the morning. Those first few sips of hot brew are gentle reminders that a clean slate comes with each new day. Forget the stresses of yesterday and drink in the miracle of a brand new beginning. Just like most things in life, you have to weigh the pros and the cons. For me the pros for drinking caffeinated coffee outweigh the cons, so I'm going to keep on brewing the caff. To caff or not to caff is up to you, but for me, it's a no-brainer.
Let's face it Moms, how else are we supposed to get through the day without the caffeine? When I try to switch back to decaf, I feel like my brain goes on vacay to some tropical island, which sounds pretty pleasant except for the fact that I do have to watch over my wild and mischievous kids. The interesting thing is that my husband noticed a personality change when I stopped drinking so much coffee between graduate programs. I think he liked the "Decaf" me better, but like I said, it's pretty much a non-negotiable.
The other person who encourages me to limit my caffeine intake is my doctor. Drinking too much caffeine adds a lot of stress to our bodies, as evidenced by the low that hits around eleven o'clock when the body and brain cry out for a refill. It can also act as a diuretic, which could be good or bad depending on your gastro needs. Caffeine can of course make you a bit jittery, which has personality changing implications, but if it makes you more animated and enthusiastic, that could be positive, right? For some of the active thinkers out there, also known as "worriers," caffeine can also keep you awake at night. But, if you're like most moms, you're so tired that you can hardly even keep your eyes open by the time you collapse into bed around midnight.
The real question is whether or not caffeine makes you happy. For me, it's not possible to quit drinking caffeinated coffee at this point in my life. I'm happier when I drink it because I feel like myself and I feel more energetic. Coffee's bold aroma makes me sing a joyful tune as I hear the drum-beat of my coffee maker in the morning. Those first few sips of hot brew are gentle reminders that a clean slate comes with each new day. Forget the stresses of yesterday and drink in the miracle of a brand new beginning. Just like most things in life, you have to weigh the pros and the cons. For me the pros for drinking caffeinated coffee outweigh the cons, so I'm going to keep on brewing the caff. To caff or not to caff is up to you, but for me, it's a no-brainer.
Labels: caffeine, coffee, moms
Monday, July 06, 2009
Always Time for One More Kiss
As I raced off to my step class, already ten minutes late, my husband allowed the kids to run out to my car for one quick kiss. I begrudgingly puckered up my lips as each one of my three kids excitedly reached their necks up to my window. My youngest could hardly reach my lips, which made me stretch my neck out like a giraffe to reach hers.
After driving off one minute later, I realized how silly my attitude had been. I was ashamed that I'd felt too busy to accept enthusiastic kisses from my kids. Life is way too short to postpone hugs or kisses from anyone important to us. There's always time for one more kiss.
If your spouse wants to snuggle for ten more minutes, the other stuff can wait. If your kids want to kick the ball out in the backyard for five more minutes, it's worth holding off on dinner for a little while. Even if your dog just wants to extend playing fetch in the morning before you head off to work, you should indulge her with the meaningful tokens of affection.
Love. Life. Laughter. These are the things that we need to invest in. They sort of just happen during serendipitous moments throughout the day. If we don't slow down enough to capture them, then they disappear like time itself. If the butterfly floats by and we're too focused on the red light that stubbornly refuses to turn green, we miss out on the reflection of the miracle that the caterpillar undertook.
Some moments are priceless, like five-second kisses, especially with plump and expressive two-year-old lips. As moms, we juggle so much that it's reasonable for us to pass over some of these instances. However, it's important that we remember to make time for one more kiss or one more special hug; someday, we might not get those as unsolicited gifts. We need to capture them now so we can store them in our treasure trove of memories.
After driving off one minute later, I realized how silly my attitude had been. I was ashamed that I'd felt too busy to accept enthusiastic kisses from my kids. Life is way too short to postpone hugs or kisses from anyone important to us. There's always time for one more kiss.
If your spouse wants to snuggle for ten more minutes, the other stuff can wait. If your kids want to kick the ball out in the backyard for five more minutes, it's worth holding off on dinner for a little while. Even if your dog just wants to extend playing fetch in the morning before you head off to work, you should indulge her with the meaningful tokens of affection.
Love. Life. Laughter. These are the things that we need to invest in. They sort of just happen during serendipitous moments throughout the day. If we don't slow down enough to capture them, then they disappear like time itself. If the butterfly floats by and we're too focused on the red light that stubbornly refuses to turn green, we miss out on the reflection of the miracle that the caterpillar undertook.
Some moments are priceless, like five-second kisses, especially with plump and expressive two-year-old lips. As moms, we juggle so much that it's reasonable for us to pass over some of these instances. However, it's important that we remember to make time for one more kiss or one more special hug; someday, we might not get those as unsolicited gifts. We need to capture them now so we can store them in our treasure trove of memories.
Meet the Perfs
Me, a perfect parent? Yeah right. I'll take "pretty good" any day. But, you've seen them. You know exactly who I'm talking about. Meet the Perfs, the family that has it all together. Even when it's raining out, the sun shines over their freshly painted house. Their luxury cars are always spotless. Their clothes all look professionally dry-cleaned; even the baby's sleepers are pristine.
The burp cloth lies over Mrs. Perf's shoulder in case the baby decides to spit up, which never happens because she of course is perfect too. There's no grime on the stroller or on any of the kid paraphernalia. Classical music can be heard from the car as the Perfs pull up in the driveway.
As the front door inches open, the aroma of low-fat home-made apple pie fills the air. The interior of the home looks as if it was photographed for Martha Stewart's "Living" magazine. The house always smells clean, as if auto-sprayed with air freshener on an hourly basis. The family dog is a well-groomed purebred, who unsurprisingly maintained perfect attendance at obedience school.
The cupboards are abundantly stocked with organic and whole-grain foods. Neither soda nor other sugar-filled beverages are allowed in this house. Everything contains zero grams of trans fat and is preservative-free. Only half of a cup of 100% fruit juice enters the Perf children's bodies and brains. Even their baths are filled with organic soap and distilled water.
The Perf parents never yell at their children. They quietly and calmly repeat their words in order to show little sister Perfecta and big brother Perfecto that they need to stop stabbing each other with their dinner forks. The kids are encouraged to draw out their angry feelings on paper instead of getting upset at one another.
Perfecta and Perfecto are only allowed to watch twenty-two and a half minutes of television per day, so they must pick wisely. Likewise, their computer activities are limited to mathematical and grammatical learning games. No media or entertainment that might interfere with the delicate dance of their brains' receptors is allowed.
But, who has time for television anyways? They're on the go with their tofu granola bars in hand and their antioxidant-rich smoothies. First, it's off to viola lessons in the morning and then to French language lessons in the early afternoon. In between the academic insanity called "summer break," the kids are permitted a short visit to the park after being doused in 50 SPF sunscreen, covered in over-sized sun-hats, and handed a chilled water bottle.
How can the Perfs keep up with themselves? If you've ever tried to be a Perf, you know that it's impossible. You can't make everything perfect in an imperfect world. If you knew me, you'd know that I'm not as cynical as I sound. It's just that I've tried the "Perf" routine, but became incredibly exhausted after raising my first perfect child.
By the time our third child came along, we ditched the "Perf" costumes and settled into the relaxed and go-lucky "Smurf" image. Even Gargamel's cat lightened up once in awhile. The Perfs need to loosen up as well, just as I did before deciding to stop the maddening cycle of perfectionism in my own life.
I used to wash my kids' clothes every time they wore them, regardless of them being dirty or not. Though I still limit our sweets and junk-food intake as a whole, I let my kids indulge so that they can collect all the fun Happy Meal toys like their friends. Likewise, I try to keep my kids well hydrated, but realize that their bodies will catch up if a day goes by without eight cups of fluids. Also, I depend on the Flinstone vitamin to compensate for any fruits or veggies that we missed out on during the day. And, though still monitored, my kids' television consumption is no longer measured with an egg-timer.
Seeking to be the perfect parent or to maintain the perfect home is unrealistic and impractical. After all, who can keep up with that? We're no longer the Perfs; instead, we've tried to mellow out in a variety of ways so that we can enjoy a bit more of life by keeping things in perspective.
The burp cloth lies over Mrs. Perf's shoulder in case the baby decides to spit up, which never happens because she of course is perfect too. There's no grime on the stroller or on any of the kid paraphernalia. Classical music can be heard from the car as the Perfs pull up in the driveway.
As the front door inches open, the aroma of low-fat home-made apple pie fills the air. The interior of the home looks as if it was photographed for Martha Stewart's "Living" magazine. The house always smells clean, as if auto-sprayed with air freshener on an hourly basis. The family dog is a well-groomed purebred, who unsurprisingly maintained perfect attendance at obedience school.
The cupboards are abundantly stocked with organic and whole-grain foods. Neither soda nor other sugar-filled beverages are allowed in this house. Everything contains zero grams of trans fat and is preservative-free. Only half of a cup of 100% fruit juice enters the Perf children's bodies and brains. Even their baths are filled with organic soap and distilled water.
The Perf parents never yell at their children. They quietly and calmly repeat their words in order to show little sister Perfecta and big brother Perfecto that they need to stop stabbing each other with their dinner forks. The kids are encouraged to draw out their angry feelings on paper instead of getting upset at one another.
Perfecta and Perfecto are only allowed to watch twenty-two and a half minutes of television per day, so they must pick wisely. Likewise, their computer activities are limited to mathematical and grammatical learning games. No media or entertainment that might interfere with the delicate dance of their brains' receptors is allowed.
But, who has time for television anyways? They're on the go with their tofu granola bars in hand and their antioxidant-rich smoothies. First, it's off to viola lessons in the morning and then to French language lessons in the early afternoon. In between the academic insanity called "summer break," the kids are permitted a short visit to the park after being doused in 50 SPF sunscreen, covered in over-sized sun-hats, and handed a chilled water bottle.
How can the Perfs keep up with themselves? If you've ever tried to be a Perf, you know that it's impossible. You can't make everything perfect in an imperfect world. If you knew me, you'd know that I'm not as cynical as I sound. It's just that I've tried the "Perf" routine, but became incredibly exhausted after raising my first perfect child.
By the time our third child came along, we ditched the "Perf" costumes and settled into the relaxed and go-lucky "Smurf" image. Even Gargamel's cat lightened up once in awhile. The Perfs need to loosen up as well, just as I did before deciding to stop the maddening cycle of perfectionism in my own life.
I used to wash my kids' clothes every time they wore them, regardless of them being dirty or not. Though I still limit our sweets and junk-food intake as a whole, I let my kids indulge so that they can collect all the fun Happy Meal toys like their friends. Likewise, I try to keep my kids well hydrated, but realize that their bodies will catch up if a day goes by without eight cups of fluids. Also, I depend on the Flinstone vitamin to compensate for any fruits or veggies that we missed out on during the day. And, though still monitored, my kids' television consumption is no longer measured with an egg-timer.
Seeking to be the perfect parent or to maintain the perfect home is unrealistic and impractical. After all, who can keep up with that? We're no longer the Perfs; instead, we've tried to mellow out in a variety of ways so that we can enjoy a bit more of life by keeping things in perspective.
Labels: kids, parents, perfectionism
Allowing our kids to bask in a world of make-believe and wonder is a privilege. Isn't it fun to see their eyes when we talk about Santa or the Tooth Fairy? While these beliefs are only temporary, they help them to see beyond. When we teach our kids to believe beyond the physical world, those beliefs act as gateways into the supernatural. Instead of fictional concepts acting as agents of harm, they actually aid our children in their elementary conception of the Christian faith.
While the Easter Bunny is fictional, the truths about Jesus and the cross certainly are not. By allowing them to think outside the box of empiricism, their hearts will wrap themselves around bigger spiritual concepts such as faith and eternal life. I find so much enjoyment reading C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien because of the parallels they make between the physical world and the spiritual world beyond.
In Lewis' The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, he hits the nail on the head in Lucy's character. She's incredibly witty and intelligent but her heart has room for faith. She believes because she is first allowed to enter the world of Narnia through the wardrobe. But, even when she returns to Britain and can no longer see, she continues to believe. When Peter, Susan, and Edmund first view the wardrobe to inspect its magical qualities, it appears to be a plain old wardrobe. But, Lucy's faith in what she has previously seen allows her to continue on in a state of magical wonder.
As the others remain convinced of their disbelief because they simply lack the ability to believe, Lucy too begins to doubt her own discovery. She has to test her faith by returning to the wardrobe to find it once again opened up to Narnia. Lewis wisely chooses the youngest child protagonist as the possessor of innocent faith. Jesus Himself called us to come to Him with the faith of a child.
Once the siblings evaluate the empirical evidence of Narnia for themselves, they too believe. Why not train our kids to believe before they have to see and feel the evidence in front of them? By giving our kids a foundation that teaches them to believe in fairy tales and magical worlds, they will have the proper training for applying their minds to more complex concepts of heaven and eternity later on. If they possess the ability, like Lucy, to believe while they are young, they too might believe as adults.
Though some would say that it is unethical to promote dishonest myths to our children, I see it as an injustice not to tell them about the world of make-believe. As the other three Pevensies do come around to believe, so too do most empirically minded adults in our world. Pascal was astute in his observation: "There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus." Eventually most people decide to believe. Even most of those who fight God for a lifetime turn to Him when all things come to an end. Just as Susan exclaims, "Impossible!" upon entering the magical world, she becomes one of its bravest advocates.
Just like Lewis, Tolkien provides poignant Biblical insights throughout his Lord of the Rings series. There is never ambiguity between the definition of good and evil. Nor is there any doubt of a supernatural existence beyond the physical world. The elves' longing beyond Middle Earth for the Undying Lands reflects our longing for heaven beyond this world.
Tolkien enlightens his readers throughout the text with a parallel to our physical and spiritual existence. The battle is one of bravery and of terror, as the dwellers of Middle Earth forfeit most hope of a victory. We too feel a battle raging here on Earth, as we struggle with temptation and pain. Luckily, Frodo doesn't give up. Nor is he alone, for his best friend Sam guides him with unending support and love. We too are assisted by a Helper. We are reminded in Scripture that we are filled with the Holy Spirit.
Though every turn presents great risk and turmoil, they win in the end. Eventually, Frodo gets to go beyond, along with the elves and his uncle Bilbo. Our physical world will also come to an end after its dwellers find themselves in a seemingly hopeless battle. Our leaders' names will change over the course of history, but in the end, the Ultimate Leader will return to rule His kingdom and He will take His followers HOME. The battle is already WON!