Wednesday, April 28, 2010
True Friendship
True friendship is a gift. It means having someone who accepts you as you are, but who loves you enough to challenge you to grow. A dear friend listens when you are steeped in despair without judging you or trying to change your mind about how you feel. She empathizes with gentleness while encouraging you towards a more hopeful perspective. She loves you even when you are without make-up, your clothes don't match, and you are still wearing your slippers at 10AM.
In return, you are there for her when she needs your hug and your tender words of kindness. When her marriage takes on new challenges, you listen to her story. You accept her differences and you value her strengths. One of you collects fruit trees. The other collects European tea cups. Your political views may differ. Your parenting styles may vary as well. But together you dream for bigger things. Together, you create a beautiful story.
Life's blessings and disappointments oscillate over time. One's parent is sick while the other's is healthy. Her child struggles through a particular season while your son is doing fine. She has a physical health challenge while you battle with various emotional issues. But, throughout the changing tides, you carry each other's burdens and you celebrate the good times as well. You're there to applaud her upcoming art exhibit and she celebrates your new book contract.
Over the years, you see that friendship is not a competition; rather, true friendship is a waltz. The two of you dance through life's stages in unison, though sometimes awkwardly. At times, you're not sure how to be the best friend. At other times, it flows so effortlessly. Being real. Being loving. Being vulnerable. These attributes allow the roots of friendship to grow deeper. It takes time and patience, but over the years, the investment of a genuine friendship reaps a harvest of healthy fruit.
Share about a true friendship in your life. What traits are most important to you? We'd love to hear from you.
In return, you are there for her when she needs your hug and your tender words of kindness. When her marriage takes on new challenges, you listen to her story. You accept her differences and you value her strengths. One of you collects fruit trees. The other collects European tea cups. Your political views may differ. Your parenting styles may vary as well. But together you dream for bigger things. Together, you create a beautiful story.
Life's blessings and disappointments oscillate over time. One's parent is sick while the other's is healthy. Her child struggles through a particular season while your son is doing fine. She has a physical health challenge while you battle with various emotional issues. But, throughout the changing tides, you carry each other's burdens and you celebrate the good times as well. You're there to applaud her upcoming art exhibit and she celebrates your new book contract.
Over the years, you see that friendship is not a competition; rather, true friendship is a waltz. The two of you dance through life's stages in unison, though sometimes awkwardly. At times, you're not sure how to be the best friend. At other times, it flows so effortlessly. Being real. Being loving. Being vulnerable. These attributes allow the roots of friendship to grow deeper. It takes time and patience, but over the years, the investment of a genuine friendship reaps a harvest of healthy fruit.
Share about a true friendship in your life. What traits are most important to you? We'd love to hear from you.
Labels: family, friendship, love, pain
Monday, April 26, 2010
April 26th, "Streams in the Desert" devotional
Philippians 3:8, "I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord."
Light is always costly and comes at the expense of that which produces it. An unlit candle does not shine, for burning must come before the light. And we can be of little use to others without a cost to ourselves. Burning suggests suffering, and we try to avoid pain.
We tend to feel we are doing the greatest good in the world when we are strong and fit for active duty and when our hearts and hands are busy with kind acts of service. Therefore when we are set aside to suffer, when we are sick, when we are consumed with pain, and when all our activities have been stopped, we feel we are no longer of any use and are accomplishing nothing.
Yet if we will be patient and submissive, it is almost certain we will be a greater blessing to the world around us during our time of suffering and pain than we were when we thought we were doing our greatest work. Then we are burning, and shining brightly as a result of the fire (from Evening Thoughts).
The glory of tomorrow is rooted in the drudgery of today. Many people want the glory without the cross, and the shining light without the burning fire, but crucifixion comes before coronation.
Light is always costly and comes at the expense of that which produces it. An unlit candle does not shine, for burning must come before the light. And we can be of little use to others without a cost to ourselves. Burning suggests suffering, and we try to avoid pain.
We tend to feel we are doing the greatest good in the world when we are strong and fit for active duty and when our hearts and hands are busy with kind acts of service. Therefore when we are set aside to suffer, when we are sick, when we are consumed with pain, and when all our activities have been stopped, we feel we are no longer of any use and are accomplishing nothing.
Yet if we will be patient and submissive, it is almost certain we will be a greater blessing to the world around us during our time of suffering and pain than we were when we thought we were doing our greatest work. Then we are burning, and shining brightly as a result of the fire (from Evening Thoughts).
The glory of tomorrow is rooted in the drudgery of today. Many people want the glory without the cross, and the shining light without the burning fire, but crucifixion comes before coronation.
Labels: devotional, Streams in the Desert
Friday, April 23, 2010
When a Pet Dies
It's hard to traverse the journey of a pet who is dying. It is especially tricky when you have young kids, because to them, he is more like a sibling than just an animal. And of course, he is more than "just" an animal to us as well. But, we more readily depict the differences between his passing versus a family member's movement beyond this world.
We've been preparing our kids for this day, Sage's last day. Our tan kitty who used to weigh seventeen pounds and easily stood three feet tall when standing up on his back feet, is now a seven pound pile of tender bones and fur. He is the one who used to race his paws on our bedroom door like an Olympic swimmer, the same one who would shut our bedroom door in those wee morning hours, begging to come back in. He was the one who kept my kids' beds warm, the one who tickled his nose up into my face in the early morning to say hello. I will miss him tremendously because he was our "baby" before we actually had real babies.
We told our son before leaving for school that he would not see his kitty again. So, he said goodbye. He was sad, but fairly collected, as he knew this day was coming. Each of the last three visits to the vet were optimistic attempts to extend this period out, but to no avail, old age and obtrusive tumors have taken their toll. He can no longer breathe comfortably. His body aches at every turn and his walking now requires assistance.
To help my middle daughter grieve, I asked her to draw her kitty a goodbye note and a picture. She wrote, "Goodbye Sage. I love you Sage" and then signed her name. We found three books with cats in them and sat in the downstairs bathroom to read them to him. He lies on one of our family blankets and another gently covers his body. My daughter set his water right next to his head so he wouldn't have to get up. We also sang "Jesus loves kitty, this I know..." to comfort him during these last hours.
Saying goodbye is hard no matter how old you are. Tears have already filled my eyes just writing this piece. I want to be the mature one, the one to comfort my kids when Sage breathes his last breath, but I'm afraid that they will have to comfort me. I know today is his last day; I can tell by his lowered level of consciousness and by his depleted will to go on. I guess it's the way it's supposed to be. He looks peaceful, unconcerned with the things around him. It's like he knows that he's moving on.
Goodbye Sage. I love you my sweet kitty. I will miss you and remember you always. I wish you didn't have to die, but that is part of this life, moving on and saying goodbye to us. Thank you for the cat you have been for our family, a loving, tenacious, and faithful cat.
We've been preparing our kids for this day, Sage's last day. Our tan kitty who used to weigh seventeen pounds and easily stood three feet tall when standing up on his back feet, is now a seven pound pile of tender bones and fur. He is the one who used to race his paws on our bedroom door like an Olympic swimmer, the same one who would shut our bedroom door in those wee morning hours, begging to come back in. He was the one who kept my kids' beds warm, the one who tickled his nose up into my face in the early morning to say hello. I will miss him tremendously because he was our "baby" before we actually had real babies.
We told our son before leaving for school that he would not see his kitty again. So, he said goodbye. He was sad, but fairly collected, as he knew this day was coming. Each of the last three visits to the vet were optimistic attempts to extend this period out, but to no avail, old age and obtrusive tumors have taken their toll. He can no longer breathe comfortably. His body aches at every turn and his walking now requires assistance.
To help my middle daughter grieve, I asked her to draw her kitty a goodbye note and a picture. She wrote, "Goodbye Sage. I love you Sage" and then signed her name. We found three books with cats in them and sat in the downstairs bathroom to read them to him. He lies on one of our family blankets and another gently covers his body. My daughter set his water right next to his head so he wouldn't have to get up. We also sang "Jesus loves kitty, this I know..." to comfort him during these last hours.
Saying goodbye is hard no matter how old you are. Tears have already filled my eyes just writing this piece. I want to be the mature one, the one to comfort my kids when Sage breathes his last breath, but I'm afraid that they will have to comfort me. I know today is his last day; I can tell by his lowered level of consciousness and by his depleted will to go on. I guess it's the way it's supposed to be. He looks peaceful, unconcerned with the things around him. It's like he knows that he's moving on.
Goodbye Sage. I love you my sweet kitty. I will miss you and remember you always. I wish you didn't have to die, but that is part of this life, moving on and saying goodbye to us. Thank you for the cat you have been for our family, a loving, tenacious, and faithful cat.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Alleviate some of the morning stress
Life with young kids is stressful, especially when (like most people), you're sprinting out the door at 100 MPH. So, here are five helpful tips to alleviate some of the morning chaos.
First, lay out the kids' clothes the night before. If you have drama-queen daughters, try setting out two outfits so the girls have a choice. While Weather.com is not always accurate, it does help to gauge how they'll need to dress. Go ahead and lay out your own outfit as well. Even though I think I'm a decisive person, this becomes a contradiction of terms, as I stand aimlessly in front of my own plethora of shirts and pants.
Second, set out the kids shoes by the front door. This might seem unnecessary, but it really helps in my family. Instead of hunting for that one sparkly pink tennis shoe at the last minute, it's right there sitting peacefully by its partner. This of course doesn't mean your children won't fuss for a different pair, but it's a good starting point, especially as they get used to this routine.
Third, provide breakfast options that are quick but healthful. Lately, my kids have been addicted to mozzarella cheese sticks. While this might not seem like a traditional morning item, the kids are loving them for breakfast along with a healthy fruit-bar or a yogurt. They eat them quickly; plus, they get a good source of protein as well.
For those of you with starving morning eaters (mine are like me and don't get hungry until about 10AM), prepare a double or triple batch of pancakes on Sunday; then you can toast them throughout the week. Or, as Maura, from the Momarama video panel, suggested, prepare your egg mixture the night before. Then, just toss it into the pan and you're ready to go within minutes.
Fourth, try to connect with each of your kids before walking out the door. Since we're usually racing, it's hard to do. But, try to take a moment to remind your kids that you love them. Give them a few solid hugs and make clear eye contact, which only takes about thirty seconds. The pay-off will be huge and you might even notice improved behavior throughout the day because of this personal connection from the get-go.
During our drive to school, we like to say a short prayer together thanking God for the kids' teachers and asking for a blessing on each of my kids and their friends as well. You could even take a minute to focus on one thing each person is thankful for. These kinds of simple activities help to calm everyone's busy heart before charging into the next objective of the day.
Fifth, remember to take care of yourself. As parents, we tend to put our kids first, while forgetting to care for ourselves. So, make sure to grab a healthy munchie for yourself as well (other than your coffee), like a Fiber One granola bar (it's got 9 grams of fiber and chocolate too). Instead of feeling starved around 11 AM, I greet lunchtime in a more satisfied state and also end up eating less throughout the day.
Remember to center your mind and spirit as well. Try some calming activities for yourself before the day kicks into fifth gear. You can do some relaxing stretches before your morning shower or even some sit-ups and push-ups to get your endorphins flowing. You can also start the day with some meditative texts or some positive thinking exercises. If you as the parent feel better about the day ahead, your kids will as well. Say things to your kids like, "Isn't this a beautiful day, kids?" You can point out the flowers, birds, and blessings around you.
I hope these tips help to ease some of the morning chaos for you and your family. Share some of your suggestions here. We'd love to hear from you.
First, lay out the kids' clothes the night before. If you have drama-queen daughters, try setting out two outfits so the girls have a choice. While Weather.com is not always accurate, it does help to gauge how they'll need to dress. Go ahead and lay out your own outfit as well. Even though I think I'm a decisive person, this becomes a contradiction of terms, as I stand aimlessly in front of my own plethora of shirts and pants.
Second, set out the kids shoes by the front door. This might seem unnecessary, but it really helps in my family. Instead of hunting for that one sparkly pink tennis shoe at the last minute, it's right there sitting peacefully by its partner. This of course doesn't mean your children won't fuss for a different pair, but it's a good starting point, especially as they get used to this routine.
Third, provide breakfast options that are quick but healthful. Lately, my kids have been addicted to mozzarella cheese sticks. While this might not seem like a traditional morning item, the kids are loving them for breakfast along with a healthy fruit-bar or a yogurt. They eat them quickly; plus, they get a good source of protein as well.
For those of you with starving morning eaters (mine are like me and don't get hungry until about 10AM), prepare a double or triple batch of pancakes on Sunday; then you can toast them throughout the week. Or, as Maura, from the Momarama video panel, suggested, prepare your egg mixture the night before. Then, just toss it into the pan and you're ready to go within minutes.
Fourth, try to connect with each of your kids before walking out the door. Since we're usually racing, it's hard to do. But, try to take a moment to remind your kids that you love them. Give them a few solid hugs and make clear eye contact, which only takes about thirty seconds. The pay-off will be huge and you might even notice improved behavior throughout the day because of this personal connection from the get-go.
During our drive to school, we like to say a short prayer together thanking God for the kids' teachers and asking for a blessing on each of my kids and their friends as well. You could even take a minute to focus on one thing each person is thankful for. These kinds of simple activities help to calm everyone's busy heart before charging into the next objective of the day.
Fifth, remember to take care of yourself. As parents, we tend to put our kids first, while forgetting to care for ourselves. So, make sure to grab a healthy munchie for yourself as well (other than your coffee), like a Fiber One granola bar (it's got 9 grams of fiber and chocolate too). Instead of feeling starved around 11 AM, I greet lunchtime in a more satisfied state and also end up eating less throughout the day.
Remember to center your mind and spirit as well. Try some calming activities for yourself before the day kicks into fifth gear. You can do some relaxing stretches before your morning shower or even some sit-ups and push-ups to get your endorphins flowing. You can also start the day with some meditative texts or some positive thinking exercises. If you as the parent feel better about the day ahead, your kids will as well. Say things to your kids like, "Isn't this a beautiful day, kids?" You can point out the flowers, birds, and blessings around you.
I hope these tips help to ease some of the morning chaos for you and your family. Share some of your suggestions here. We'd love to hear from you.
Labels: kids, moms, mornings, routine
Friday, April 16, 2010
Darkness
When you're in a tunnel of darkness, you reach for the light as if you can already see it... or you close up in terror to protect yourself from imminent danger. You feel blind, unable to move.
When it's pitch black, you can't fathom the distance around you, except for its immensity and its vastness. You don't know how long the darkness will hold you captive in its evil grip. However, when your eyes capture a glimpse of the light ahead, you gain perspective and the obscurity begins to fade away. Depth perception is regained. You can see the world around you. You begin to hope.
When we go through tough spiritual or emotional experiences, we can feel we are falling indefinitely through a dark abyss. We try to cling to the truths we know as the deep chasm engulfs our hearts and minds. We grasp for air... but we can not feel it in our lungs. We look for the light, but we simply can not see it. We hope for a better perspective to save us from the pain that crushes us. But, we can't find it.
Is there true hope amidst the darkest hours? Many people feel that there is no true hope in this life. So, they turn to alcohol, drugs, medications, an affair, or even plain old busyness... to numb their pain. Unfortunately, those things only offer a temporary and dissatisfying source of relief. The giver of light tells us that He offers true hope: from the Bible and through the Holy Spirit.
The Bible says, "In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness..." (John 1:4+5). Subsequently, Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). The Bible anchors us during uncertain times, especially when our feelings deceive us.
The Holy Spirit also offers His peace: "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. PEACE I leave with you; my peace I give you...Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (26-27). The Holy Spirit guides us when we can't find our own way. Even though it is hard to surrender to Him, we must turn to Him in faith.
It's hard to turn to the Bible and to trust God's Spirit when we feel like God just doesn't care. Sometimes, we don't believe that He even hears us. Or, it seems like we're simply going to get a busy signal forever, since we don't see signs of an escape! So, we just give up on God.
But, as my five-year-old reminded me this morning, God is the ONE to turn to. First, she asked me at the top of our stairs, "What's this story about (meaning our lives)?" "Is it about God?" she inquired. Then, a few minutes after we navigated our way downstairs, she hid a book behind her arms and asked me if I'd read her a story.
As I sat down on the couch next to her, she revealed the book she was hiding. It was my Bible...the one book I did not feel like reading. But, once we opened it up together, I was reminded of its power to give light, life, and hope...through the Holy Spirit. This morning, my daughter, Grace, helped me to see the light when my heart was trapped in darkness.
After we read for a bit, I explained how the words written in red were the words that Jesus spoke. She then grabbed her "Build-A-Bear" teddy bear that has a hole in his back. She removed the cloth shaped heart from the bear. Then, she placed it on Jesus' words with her whole hand over the heart. It was her way of trying to show Jesus that she loved Him, by giving Him her teddy-bear's pretend heart. If only we could show our faith so simply and so resolutely!
When it's pitch black, you can't fathom the distance around you, except for its immensity and its vastness. You don't know how long the darkness will hold you captive in its evil grip. However, when your eyes capture a glimpse of the light ahead, you gain perspective and the obscurity begins to fade away. Depth perception is regained. You can see the world around you. You begin to hope.
When we go through tough spiritual or emotional experiences, we can feel we are falling indefinitely through a dark abyss. We try to cling to the truths we know as the deep chasm engulfs our hearts and minds. We grasp for air... but we can not feel it in our lungs. We look for the light, but we simply can not see it. We hope for a better perspective to save us from the pain that crushes us. But, we can't find it.
Is there true hope amidst the darkest hours? Many people feel that there is no true hope in this life. So, they turn to alcohol, drugs, medications, an affair, or even plain old busyness... to numb their pain. Unfortunately, those things only offer a temporary and dissatisfying source of relief. The giver of light tells us that He offers true hope: from the Bible and through the Holy Spirit.
The Bible says, "In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness..." (John 1:4+5). Subsequently, Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). The Bible anchors us during uncertain times, especially when our feelings deceive us.
The Holy Spirit also offers His peace: "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. PEACE I leave with you; my peace I give you...Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (26-27). The Holy Spirit guides us when we can't find our own way. Even though it is hard to surrender to Him, we must turn to Him in faith.
It's hard to turn to the Bible and to trust God's Spirit when we feel like God just doesn't care. Sometimes, we don't believe that He even hears us. Or, it seems like we're simply going to get a busy signal forever, since we don't see signs of an escape! So, we just give up on God.
But, as my five-year-old reminded me this morning, God is the ONE to turn to. First, she asked me at the top of our stairs, "What's this story about (meaning our lives)?" "Is it about God?" she inquired. Then, a few minutes after we navigated our way downstairs, she hid a book behind her arms and asked me if I'd read her a story.
As I sat down on the couch next to her, she revealed the book she was hiding. It was my Bible...the one book I did not feel like reading. But, once we opened it up together, I was reminded of its power to give light, life, and hope...through the Holy Spirit. This morning, my daughter, Grace, helped me to see the light when my heart was trapped in darkness.
After we read for a bit, I explained how the words written in red were the words that Jesus spoke. She then grabbed her "Build-A-Bear" teddy bear that has a hole in his back. She removed the cloth shaped heart from the bear. Then, she placed it on Jesus' words with her whole hand over the heart. It was her way of trying to show Jesus that she loved Him, by giving Him her teddy-bear's pretend heart. If only we could show our faith so simply and so resolutely!
Labels: darkness, God, hope, life
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Kid Zone
My house is a kid-proofed, kid-blessed, kid-crazed kid-zone. Of course there's a Nerf-axe next to my foot as I sit down to use the potty. There are also crayon marks decorating my white blinds and marker drawings coating the sliding-glass doors.
The dining room houses Big Bird and all of his buddies, along with a bin of markers, a coloring book, a toy giraffe, and a miniature Barbie doll. A pink can of bunny bubbles sits on my kitchen counter, along with a pair of white socks, a white t-shirt, and a brush with the end chopped off of it (not sure how the heck that happened). Did I mention the Spider-man ball or the red microphone yet?
Shoes sprawl across my entryway as well; it's as if they leap out of the shoe-basket themselves greeting the new day. The coats look similar... draped above the shoe organizer as if a tornado threw them into an indistinguishable pile of rubble.
My family room is a disaster kid-zone too, with an Ariel beach towel laid across the floor, since my middle child decided to soak herself while fully clothed in the turtle pool yesterday after that fun rainstorm that we got. Then, there's my tan Labrador looking super cozy on my brown leather couch, along with a toy basketball set, a Dora doodle pad, and a blue and green pencil.
Below my leather sectional, there's a naked baby doll, a tipped over baby stroller, a stack of Legos, a Buzz Light-year plush toy, an orange hat, a white baby blanket (now used for the dollies), a knight's helmet from Legoland, a green cup, and a kangaroo toy. Not to mention... the Star Wars star-ship resting atop my coffee table or the Barbie sunglasses below the toy organizers; you get the picture. It's probably not too far off from your house right now if you're a parent of three young children. No matter how hard we try, the house looks like a toy-explosion at any given moment.
My outlook on some days reflects the clutter filling my home. When will this chaos end? When will the messes clean themselves up? When will my kids listen to me? However, when I find myself wishing this season away, I sort of want someone to smack me in the head, reminding me that I'm going to look back and miss all of this. Yes, even the crazy days, when I'd rather trade brains with my dog, just so I could sleep the afternoon away, able to ignore all the tasks around me.
Some of you parents of older kids might testify to this precious season when the kids are cute but inevitably mess-makers at every turn. I can tell I will continue to traverse these yin and yang types of feelings throughout my journey as a mom. I hate the messes, the kids' tantrums (especially my three-year-old princess), and the complaining. But, I love the donut-frosted kisses, the super huge hugs, and the sweet snuggles that come with this time period as well.
This post is just a reminder to find peace where you're at in life. No matter what phase your kids are in, try to accept them with a grain of salt. When I find myself taking things too seriously, I need to run out and do something silly...like have a twirling dance party with my kids in the middle of the kitchen.
I'd get arrested by the dancing police if they saw some of my crazy moves, but seriously, it's great cardio and my kids have a blast as well. Life is too short to get our undies knotted up in a wedgie over the minor encumbrances. Let's try to see the big picture by focusing on our kids' amazing attributes: their smiles, their laughter, and their forgiving hearts.
If you do need a break from it all and feel that you're losing your mind, remember that you can always lock yourself in the bathroom for a five minute time-out. That's what I do, but next time I need to remember to bring my MP3-player along to drown out the noisy banging on the door. Let's chill out and try to laugh more because life is so short and our kids are only young once.
Just keeping it real. Tell us how your house looks right now. Or, share a helpful tip for dealing with the kid-zones in your house. We'd love to hear from you.
The dining room houses Big Bird and all of his buddies, along with a bin of markers, a coloring book, a toy giraffe, and a miniature Barbie doll. A pink can of bunny bubbles sits on my kitchen counter, along with a pair of white socks, a white t-shirt, and a brush with the end chopped off of it (not sure how the heck that happened). Did I mention the Spider-man ball or the red microphone yet?
Shoes sprawl across my entryway as well; it's as if they leap out of the shoe-basket themselves greeting the new day. The coats look similar... draped above the shoe organizer as if a tornado threw them into an indistinguishable pile of rubble.
My family room is a disaster kid-zone too, with an Ariel beach towel laid across the floor, since my middle child decided to soak herself while fully clothed in the turtle pool yesterday after that fun rainstorm that we got. Then, there's my tan Labrador looking super cozy on my brown leather couch, along with a toy basketball set, a Dora doodle pad, and a blue and green pencil.
Below my leather sectional, there's a naked baby doll, a tipped over baby stroller, a stack of Legos, a Buzz Light-year plush toy, an orange hat, a white baby blanket (now used for the dollies), a knight's helmet from Legoland, a green cup, and a kangaroo toy. Not to mention... the Star Wars star-ship resting atop my coffee table or the Barbie sunglasses below the toy organizers; you get the picture. It's probably not too far off from your house right now if you're a parent of three young children. No matter how hard we try, the house looks like a toy-explosion at any given moment.
My outlook on some days reflects the clutter filling my home. When will this chaos end? When will the messes clean themselves up? When will my kids listen to me? However, when I find myself wishing this season away, I sort of want someone to smack me in the head, reminding me that I'm going to look back and miss all of this. Yes, even the crazy days, when I'd rather trade brains with my dog, just so I could sleep the afternoon away, able to ignore all the tasks around me.
Some of you parents of older kids might testify to this precious season when the kids are cute but inevitably mess-makers at every turn. I can tell I will continue to traverse these yin and yang types of feelings throughout my journey as a mom. I hate the messes, the kids' tantrums (especially my three-year-old princess), and the complaining. But, I love the donut-frosted kisses, the super huge hugs, and the sweet snuggles that come with this time period as well.
This post is just a reminder to find peace where you're at in life. No matter what phase your kids are in, try to accept them with a grain of salt. When I find myself taking things too seriously, I need to run out and do something silly...like have a twirling dance party with my kids in the middle of the kitchen.
I'd get arrested by the dancing police if they saw some of my crazy moves, but seriously, it's great cardio and my kids have a blast as well. Life is too short to get our undies knotted up in a wedgie over the minor encumbrances. Let's try to see the big picture by focusing on our kids' amazing attributes: their smiles, their laughter, and their forgiving hearts.
If you do need a break from it all and feel that you're losing your mind, remember that you can always lock yourself in the bathroom for a five minute time-out. That's what I do, but next time I need to remember to bring my MP3-player along to drown out the noisy banging on the door. Let's chill out and try to laugh more because life is so short and our kids are only young once.
Just keeping it real. Tell us how your house looks right now. Or, share a helpful tip for dealing with the kid-zones in your house. We'd love to hear from you.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Life is just hard...
Sometimes, life is just really hard. You might not feel like getting out of bed. That laundry pile that's starting to take over half of your room might get put off for one more day or week. The weeds may not get pulled at all this month. You might even put your kids in front of the television for an extra hour because you just can't deal with them right now. And guess what? It's ok.
When life feels overwhelming, sometimes you just need to accept yourself right where you're at. Instead of putting on an even bigger smile and brighter make-up to cover up what's going on in your heart, you need to keep things real.
Earlier today, I had a very honest conversation with a good friend. She shared about some difficulties going on in her life and I responded with a few of the struggles I'm having in mine as well. I always remind this friend of how I appreciate her sincerity.
As moms, I feel that we need to share that authenticity with one another. It's not a show or a competition, so there's no point in being fake with each other. We're all just doing our best to be good people and to get the most out of our short lives here on Earth. When going through a tough time, we're pretty much the same; we just need a good set of listening ears and a few big bear-hugs.
If you know someone who's going through a tough time, try to be there for her by sharing a few of your own struggles as well. Whether she's dealing with financial issues, loneliness, stress, emotional pain, or something else even bigger, just remind her that she's not alone. Even the people who look the best on the outside have got some cruddy stuff going on deep down. So, be real with them as well.
Try to take a gentler view of yourself too. Be a friend to yourself by remembering that it's ok to simply put things on hold for awhile to take care of yourself. Your washing machine might enjoy the break as well. And if you're too tired to cook, the fast food chains will love your business too. Pizza night, anyone?
Share how you've been there for a friend in need or how someone has served you during a difficult time. We'd love to hear from you.
When life feels overwhelming, sometimes you just need to accept yourself right where you're at. Instead of putting on an even bigger smile and brighter make-up to cover up what's going on in your heart, you need to keep things real.
Earlier today, I had a very honest conversation with a good friend. She shared about some difficulties going on in her life and I responded with a few of the struggles I'm having in mine as well. I always remind this friend of how I appreciate her sincerity.
As moms, I feel that we need to share that authenticity with one another. It's not a show or a competition, so there's no point in being fake with each other. We're all just doing our best to be good people and to get the most out of our short lives here on Earth. When going through a tough time, we're pretty much the same; we just need a good set of listening ears and a few big bear-hugs.
If you know someone who's going through a tough time, try to be there for her by sharing a few of your own struggles as well. Whether she's dealing with financial issues, loneliness, stress, emotional pain, or something else even bigger, just remind her that she's not alone. Even the people who look the best on the outside have got some cruddy stuff going on deep down. So, be real with them as well.
Try to take a gentler view of yourself too. Be a friend to yourself by remembering that it's ok to simply put things on hold for awhile to take care of yourself. Your washing machine might enjoy the break as well. And if you're too tired to cook, the fast food chains will love your business too. Pizza night, anyone?
Share how you've been there for a friend in need or how someone has served you during a difficult time. We'd love to hear from you.
Labels: difficulties, family, life, parenthood
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Clearance Item
Clearance items are great. Don't you just love finding a killer deal? When I see those three magical words: "Seventy-five percent off," I'm in shopping heaven. But, as moms, we can sometimes feel like we've become the clearance item. So, it's time for no holds barred. Are you ready to spoil yourself a little bit?
But, it's easier said than done because you're buying shoes for the kids, a new collar for the dog, and groceries for everyone and their best friend's sister. It's easy to put yourself last when you're stressed out pinching the copper out of every single penny filling your faded old purse.
But, ladies, it's time to close your eyes to all those sale signs! You must treat yourself right. Go off the deep end! Spoil yourself silly! Okay, not every single minute of every day, but at least once a month. Remember that you are not a clearance item. You are special and you've been working your you-know-what off for the past several years, so remember to live like a queen every once in awhile. Here's how you get started.
First, buy something that makes you feel delicate and feminine. Go to your favorite clothing store and buy that shirt that makes you feel like spring has arrived, the one with frilly ruffles or lace. Or, visit your favorite shoe store and get a new pair of heels that make you feel hot...the totally impractical fire-engine red ones. They're also the ones that will send you to the couch with a sprained ankle, but who cares? You only live once!
Second, plan a lavish meal. You can finally break out your China and those fancy wine glasses that you got as a wedding present twelve years ago. Go for that extravagant lobster meal that you've been salivating over since the January issue of your favorite cooking magazine. Why not? You are worth it.
Get a full-bodied bottle of wine and a decadent dessert as well. Cook some tasty side dishes and go for that amazing sauce you discovered at that specialty food store four months ago, even if it means a second shopping trip just to get it. And you're not allowed to freak out once you discover that it would have been cheaper to eat out at the Ritz Carlton; every once in awhile, you've got to play the part of the international gourmet chef.
Third, pay to get your hair done by a really cool hair stylist. This is an area where I used to squeeze the green out of my dollar bills because I had long hair. So, it was easy to go six months without getting my hair done. And with three small kids, quite frankly, it was tempting to go nine months without caring for my naturally brown locks.
Now, I'm putting some mula into that part of my self-care because I've realized that it makes me feel more energetic and more valuable. Even if it means I have to skimp elsewhere to make up for the added expense, it is worth the effort. Today, I saw my hair stylist and went lighter on my color. Guess what? I love it! All the spring flowers are bursting forth with color and now I am as well!
I still love amazing deals, but it's good to be reminded that I'm not a clearance item. One of my favorite bargain deals was a set of rusty-blue latte mugs from a Crate & Barrel outlet store. They were only 97 cents a piece and they've lasted me like ten years without a single scratch.
In contrast, on the full-price side, I recently paid $75 for a couple of under-garments, where I intentionally avoided the sale-rack. The result was that I felt like a famous person...for those twenty-five minutes of shopping...anyways.
Share some of your favorite bargain deals and a few of your full-price splurges as well. We'd love to hear from you! :)
But, it's easier said than done because you're buying shoes for the kids, a new collar for the dog, and groceries for everyone and their best friend's sister. It's easy to put yourself last when you're stressed out pinching the copper out of every single penny filling your faded old purse.
But, ladies, it's time to close your eyes to all those sale signs! You must treat yourself right. Go off the deep end! Spoil yourself silly! Okay, not every single minute of every day, but at least once a month. Remember that you are not a clearance item. You are special and you've been working your you-know-what off for the past several years, so remember to live like a queen every once in awhile. Here's how you get started.
First, buy something that makes you feel delicate and feminine. Go to your favorite clothing store and buy that shirt that makes you feel like spring has arrived, the one with frilly ruffles or lace. Or, visit your favorite shoe store and get a new pair of heels that make you feel hot...the totally impractical fire-engine red ones. They're also the ones that will send you to the couch with a sprained ankle, but who cares? You only live once!
Second, plan a lavish meal. You can finally break out your China and those fancy wine glasses that you got as a wedding present twelve years ago. Go for that extravagant lobster meal that you've been salivating over since the January issue of your favorite cooking magazine. Why not? You are worth it.
Get a full-bodied bottle of wine and a decadent dessert as well. Cook some tasty side dishes and go for that amazing sauce you discovered at that specialty food store four months ago, even if it means a second shopping trip just to get it. And you're not allowed to freak out once you discover that it would have been cheaper to eat out at the Ritz Carlton; every once in awhile, you've got to play the part of the international gourmet chef.
Third, pay to get your hair done by a really cool hair stylist. This is an area where I used to squeeze the green out of my dollar bills because I had long hair. So, it was easy to go six months without getting my hair done. And with three small kids, quite frankly, it was tempting to go nine months without caring for my naturally brown locks.
Now, I'm putting some mula into that part of my self-care because I've realized that it makes me feel more energetic and more valuable. Even if it means I have to skimp elsewhere to make up for the added expense, it is worth the effort. Today, I saw my hair stylist and went lighter on my color. Guess what? I love it! All the spring flowers are bursting forth with color and now I am as well!
I still love amazing deals, but it's good to be reminded that I'm not a clearance item. One of my favorite bargain deals was a set of rusty-blue latte mugs from a Crate & Barrel outlet store. They were only 97 cents a piece and they've lasted me like ten years without a single scratch.
In contrast, on the full-price side, I recently paid $75 for a couple of under-garments, where I intentionally avoided the sale-rack. The result was that I felt like a famous person...for those twenty-five minutes of shopping...anyways.
Share some of your favorite bargain deals and a few of your full-price splurges as well. We'd love to hear from you! :)
Labels: clearance, moms, self care
