Thursday, March 31, 2011
My grace is sufficient
Last Sunday, Pastor Matt encouraged us with the story of the feeding of the 5000. He told us that God can use us for His highest and greatest purpose when we are at our lowest and weakest moments. One of the verses he referenced was 2 Corinthians 12:9, "...my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness..."
But do we really believe this to be true? And if it's not true, do we really have any hope at all? The fact of the matter is that we all get weighed down by a plethora of weaknesses. My struggles happen to be depression and doubt, along with anxiety and anger. Maybe your entanglements have more to do with self esteem issues, jealousy, lust, or greed.
Where do we go if we don't believe this verse to be true? The answer is simple: we must fall on our knees. God is good at wrestling. Remember his match with Jacob thousands of years ago? He can take you on as well. So, if you are doubting that HIS POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS, then challenge the Lord! Ask him, "Are you sure Lord?" Let Him defend Himself because I'm certain He will show up!
For starters, think about where you're weak and how the Lord has already shown up. For me with my depression, I sometimes wonder why the Lord won't just remove this thorn from my flesh. And then I start to think through all of the ways that He has blessed me: my legs and arms, my breath, my faithful husband, my healthy and energetic children, etc. The list starts to get so long that I can't help but lose sight of the darkness.
Of course our weaknesses seem overwhelming; often times they simply are too much for us to handle. And that's why we need to drop to our knees, place our face down upon the ground if necessary, and submit it all to the Lord. When we SURRENDER, He hears our cries and He begins to transform us into His perfect image, where truth and love reign supreme. During the process of transformation, HIS GRACE BECOMES SUFFICIENT FOR US AS HIS POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS.
It doesn't happen over night. We must wait patiently for the Holy Spirit to give us the faith to see and to believe. So, while we wait, let's remember that, "...our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12).
Since we live in an imperfect and evil world where Satan still has some power over evil and sin, let's remember to "...put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition...take up the shield of faith. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God" (from verses 13-17).
If you still don't believe that HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR HIS POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS, don't worry! I'm not here to judge you. It's frequently hard for me to grasp its veracity too. But we can hold each other up and cling to God's word as we go through this journey together, one day at a time. Keep the faith fellow believers. Life on earth is hard, but remember that heaven will be amazing!
But do we really believe this to be true? And if it's not true, do we really have any hope at all? The fact of the matter is that we all get weighed down by a plethora of weaknesses. My struggles happen to be depression and doubt, along with anxiety and anger. Maybe your entanglements have more to do with self esteem issues, jealousy, lust, or greed.
Where do we go if we don't believe this verse to be true? The answer is simple: we must fall on our knees. God is good at wrestling. Remember his match with Jacob thousands of years ago? He can take you on as well. So, if you are doubting that HIS POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS, then challenge the Lord! Ask him, "Are you sure Lord?" Let Him defend Himself because I'm certain He will show up!
For starters, think about where you're weak and how the Lord has already shown up. For me with my depression, I sometimes wonder why the Lord won't just remove this thorn from my flesh. And then I start to think through all of the ways that He has blessed me: my legs and arms, my breath, my faithful husband, my healthy and energetic children, etc. The list starts to get so long that I can't help but lose sight of the darkness.
Of course our weaknesses seem overwhelming; often times they simply are too much for us to handle. And that's why we need to drop to our knees, place our face down upon the ground if necessary, and submit it all to the Lord. When we SURRENDER, He hears our cries and He begins to transform us into His perfect image, where truth and love reign supreme. During the process of transformation, HIS GRACE BECOMES SUFFICIENT FOR US AS HIS POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS.
It doesn't happen over night. We must wait patiently for the Holy Spirit to give us the faith to see and to believe. So, while we wait, let's remember that, "...our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12).
Since we live in an imperfect and evil world where Satan still has some power over evil and sin, let's remember to "...put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition...take up the shield of faith. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God" (from verses 13-17).
If you still don't believe that HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR HIS POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS, don't worry! I'm not here to judge you. It's frequently hard for me to grasp its veracity too. But we can hold each other up and cling to God's word as we go through this journey together, one day at a time. Keep the faith fellow believers. Life on earth is hard, but remember that heaven will be amazing!
Labels: Bible, encouragement, grace
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Excerpt #11, from pages 61-62 from "Stream of Consciousness"
I could feel a tear dripping down my cheek as I typed. I wondered why I was getting so choked up from my own writing. But it hit me that my own paternal relationship had suffered over the years and that this story was reflecting my own longing to be reconnected with my real dad. I wondered if it was time to get back into the safe and comforting world of Jane Austin. Eric and the kids all seemed fine upstairs without me. So, I decided to jump over to my red cotton futon with the blue yellow and green floral blanket and the oversized leaf pillows for a break from it all.
Sometimes she could fancy, that he talked less than on former occasions, and once or twice pleased herself with the notion that as he looked at her, he was trying to trace a resemblance. But, though this might be imaginary, she could not be deceived as to his behaviour to Miss Darcy, who had been set up as a rival of Jane. No look appeared on either side that spoke particular regard. Nothing occurred between them that could justify the hopes of his sister. On this point she was soon satisfied; and two or three little circumstances occurred ere they parted, which, in her anxious interpretation, denoted a recollection of Jane, not untinctured by tenderness, and a wish of saying more that might lead to the mention of her, had he dared. He observed to her, at a moment when the others were talking together, and in a tone which had something of real regret, that it ‘was a very long time since he had had the pleasure of seeing her;’ and, before she could reply, he added, ‘It is above eight months. We have not met since the 26th of November, when we were all dancing together at Netherfield.’
“Mommy, I need help with my picture. These clouds look funny, more like popcorn than real clouds. Can you fix them, please Mama,” Danielle begged me.
“Of course Sweetie. Let me finish this page and I’ll come out to the kitchen to fix it with some crayons,” I said with a soft smile.
“Okay Mommmeeee, I’ll be waiting at the table,” she reminded me as she walked out of my office and out towards the kitchen with her brown ringlets flowing against her dark pink and brown floral dress.
I closed my book. I’d had my break from the world around me. It was time once again to engage. Chapter one of my book was almost written. And Jane's Elizabeth Bennet was falling in love with Mr. Darcy unbeknownst to herself and her misguided prejudices against him. Jen had forgiven Jared, which meant we’d all still eat dinner together tonight and be cruising the Caribbean in just a few short days. My mom would be here tomorrow and we could catch up as well, so my mood was much improved and my heart felt lighter, as it always does when I get a chance to write and to read. I put my laptop, my book, and my MP3 player up on my shelf and headed out to the kitchen to help Danielle with her beautiful drawing of the sky.
“Hey Sweetie, I’m here now. Did you get the crayons out?” I asked.
“Yes Mommy. I already had the crayons out, Silly. That’s how I messed up my drawing in the first place,” she said with all-knowing wisdom and authority.
“It’s not messed up Danielle. It looks really good,” I told her helping to color in her clouds with a light gray crayon and a big Mommy smile to remind her that I think she’s super special.
“Thanks Mommy. You’re the best Mommy in the whole world,” she said with a twinkle in her big hazel eyes.
I noticed something in the back of Danielle’s animal coloring book and flipped through the pages to grab hold of it. It was an old note from my mom that she’d left after one of her long weekend stays at our house. I read the small pink sticky note and found such encouragement from its words. Her name was signed with a Scripture reference of “Psalm 107” next to it. It felt kind of like fate that I’d found the note so coincidentally, so I decided to grab my Bible and read it. It took me a minute to find it because I hadn’t read it in the past few months, but it was up on my kitchen shelf near my pile of junk mail and several bills.
“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord say this—those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south. Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle. They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains, for they had rebelled against the words of God and despised the counsel of the Most High. So he subjected them to bitter labor; they stumbled, and there was no one to help. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron…”
“Mommy, aren’t you going to help me color still? Please help me with the horsey too. He’s so pretty, don’t you think, Mommy? What are you reading?” Danielle asked in her demanding but cute way.
“Mommy’s reading the Bible Honey. I was looking up some verses that Grammy told me about,” I said closing my red leather Bible. The second part of the chapter would have to wait.
Sometimes she could fancy, that he talked less than on former occasions, and once or twice pleased herself with the notion that as he looked at her, he was trying to trace a resemblance. But, though this might be imaginary, she could not be deceived as to his behaviour to Miss Darcy, who had been set up as a rival of Jane. No look appeared on either side that spoke particular regard. Nothing occurred between them that could justify the hopes of his sister. On this point she was soon satisfied; and two or three little circumstances occurred ere they parted, which, in her anxious interpretation, denoted a recollection of Jane, not untinctured by tenderness, and a wish of saying more that might lead to the mention of her, had he dared. He observed to her, at a moment when the others were talking together, and in a tone which had something of real regret, that it ‘was a very long time since he had had the pleasure of seeing her;’ and, before she could reply, he added, ‘It is above eight months. We have not met since the 26th of November, when we were all dancing together at Netherfield.’
“Mommy, I need help with my picture. These clouds look funny, more like popcorn than real clouds. Can you fix them, please Mama,” Danielle begged me.
“Of course Sweetie. Let me finish this page and I’ll come out to the kitchen to fix it with some crayons,” I said with a soft smile.
“Okay Mommmeeee, I’ll be waiting at the table,” she reminded me as she walked out of my office and out towards the kitchen with her brown ringlets flowing against her dark pink and brown floral dress.
I closed my book. I’d had my break from the world around me. It was time once again to engage. Chapter one of my book was almost written. And Jane's Elizabeth Bennet was falling in love with Mr. Darcy unbeknownst to herself and her misguided prejudices against him. Jen had forgiven Jared, which meant we’d all still eat dinner together tonight and be cruising the Caribbean in just a few short days. My mom would be here tomorrow and we could catch up as well, so my mood was much improved and my heart felt lighter, as it always does when I get a chance to write and to read. I put my laptop, my book, and my MP3 player up on my shelf and headed out to the kitchen to help Danielle with her beautiful drawing of the sky.
“Hey Sweetie, I’m here now. Did you get the crayons out?” I asked.
“Yes Mommy. I already had the crayons out, Silly. That’s how I messed up my drawing in the first place,” she said with all-knowing wisdom and authority.
“It’s not messed up Danielle. It looks really good,” I told her helping to color in her clouds with a light gray crayon and a big Mommy smile to remind her that I think she’s super special.
“Thanks Mommy. You’re the best Mommy in the whole world,” she said with a twinkle in her big hazel eyes.
I noticed something in the back of Danielle’s animal coloring book and flipped through the pages to grab hold of it. It was an old note from my mom that she’d left after one of her long weekend stays at our house. I read the small pink sticky note and found such encouragement from its words. Her name was signed with a Scripture reference of “Psalm 107” next to it. It felt kind of like fate that I’d found the note so coincidentally, so I decided to grab my Bible and read it. It took me a minute to find it because I hadn’t read it in the past few months, but it was up on my kitchen shelf near my pile of junk mail and several bills.
“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord say this—those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south. Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle. They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains, for they had rebelled against the words of God and despised the counsel of the Most High. So he subjected them to bitter labor; they stumbled, and there was no one to help. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron…”
“Mommy, aren’t you going to help me color still? Please help me with the horsey too. He’s so pretty, don’t you think, Mommy? What are you reading?” Danielle asked in her demanding but cute way.
“Mommy’s reading the Bible Honey. I was looking up some verses that Grammy told me about,” I said closing my red leather Bible. The second part of the chapter would have to wait.
Labels: excerpt 11, Stream of Consciousness
Monday, March 28, 2011
Excerpt #10, from pages 50-51 of "Stream of Consciousness"
I tried to hold the book up so I could at least finish the page, but my eyelids stubbornly closed shut like an iron box keeping a hold upon its secret treasures deep inside. Maybe my dreams would produce the next part of my book. But I’d probably spend a few minutes first dreaming about Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. They are just the sweetest couple of the early nineteenth century. Even though they are fictitious, I know they represent real stories, human longings, true love, and hope. Ah to dream.
I woke up the next morning with my dog licking my left cheek. I must have had a little bit of mint ice cream left on my face. Thankfully she recently had some doggie dental work done and her breath wasn’t too bad. Eric never returned to our room. I was sure he was still asleep in one of the kid’s rooms. I heard my phone beeping like there was a text message, so I got up to check. I couldn’t believe what I read:
Renee, we have to talk. Things are not going well with Jared. I don’t ever want to talk to him again. Skipping the piece of crap cruise. You can use my ticket. Not gonna make it to dinner tonight either. Call me—jen :(
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! Crap!” I yelled out loud. I was glad no-one else was awake yet, besides my canine companion. And glad I hadn’t yelled something worse than that. My mouth had a way of slipping out a few non-euphemisms from time to time, though I wasn’t generally proud of those. I texted back using all ten fingers at once.
Jen, u can’t cancel. Let’s talk first. U guys have to come to dinner. Big surprise. What happened? Call me, now!—renee :(
Oh my gosh. I’m freaking. My one spontaneous and amazing plan in the past thirteen years and it’s not going to work out. I’ve got to do something. I have to find Jared. That’s what I’ve got to do. But how do I get his number. Maybe Jadan knows one of his friends from Starbucks. Ahhh… I’m panicking. This has to work.
I texted Jadan and amazingly he did have Jared’s last name, so I was able to look it up online. I got a hold of one of his old room-mates who lived with him before he moved out to buy his own townhome. I actually got it. So, I called and demanded to know what had happened.
“Hey Jared, this is Renee, Jen’s best friend. What the hell happened? Jen texted me and she’s pissed and freaking out. I need to know,” I ordered in a sharp tone.
“Wow, it’s still seven in the morning on a Saturday Renee. Don’t you think you might want to hear my side of the story first before you condemn me to the doghouse?” he patiently implored.
“Okay, sorry. I’m super stressed because, well… I’ll just come out and tell you. I planned this huge surprise that I was going to tell you and Jen about later tonight during dinner at my house. We were going to have a triple date cuz I bought tickets for me and my husband to join you guys on the cruise. And then, this new friend and his girlfriend planned to come too. And I’m usually not like this, I mean, we hardly travel since we’ve had kids, but I wanted it to work out so much. Now Jen’s acting crazy about something you did. What happened?” I questioned in a more civilized tone this time.
“Well, I’m not exactly sure Renee. Jen is a dramatic woman, let’s just say, I’m not totally sure. She was at my place and fell asleep out on the couch, but nothing happened. I mean, not that you care, but seriously we just had a nice dinner and watched a movie, so I covered her with a blanket and woke up to her yelling and acting ballistic. I’m as surprised as you are,” he said in a seriously perplexed tone.
“Wow, that is strange Jared. Sorry to accuse you like I did. That was truly rude of me. Maybe we can work this out. Can you tell me what you guys ate last night?”
“What we ate? Isn’t that a strange question? I mean, what the heck does that have to do with what happened?”
“Well, Jen is hypoglycemic. She gets imbalanced when her sugar gets off. When she starts wigging at me, I usually hand her a piece of candy and it gets us back on track. And the truth is, she’s totally PMSing too. She might just be having a panic attack about her decision to go on a cruise with someone she just met a few weeks ago,” I said trying to assuage his confusion.
“That’s a lot to take in. Okay, well things were going well. I was going to run out and get some bagels and coffee and return before she even woke up, but I ran out when I heard yelling and she was inconsolable. I didn’t have a fricking clue what to do, so if you can think of something, I’d love for this to work out somehow,” he said optimistically.
“No worries Jared. My family is still asleep but Eric’s home, so I’ll leave a note and then I’ll head over to her place to find her and calm her down,” I said convincingly.
“Okay, thanks Renee. That would be great. I’ll keep my phone on all day, so just text me or call when you figure anything out,” he begged.
“We’re like sisters so don’t worry. I’ll get this figured out,” I said comforting him over the phone.
I quickly changed my clothes, wrote a note for Eric, and grabbed my keys. And I was off like a speeding bullet over to Jen’s place. She had to be more settled down by this time. I was sure this would get worked out somehow. I basically ran through three orange, but technically red lights to get there as fast as I did. I barely locked my door as I sprinted to Jen’s door. I knocked like a Roman guard upon her navy blue door. The potted pink miniature roses sat peacefully next to me with their sweet aroma calming my nerves. I knew this would get resolved somehow. I heard footsteps and knew it had to be Jen.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
QUESTION FOR MY READERS:
QUICK VOTE, WHO THINKS JARED IS A GOOD GUY FOR JEN? SHOULD THEY STAY TOGETHER?
I woke up the next morning with my dog licking my left cheek. I must have had a little bit of mint ice cream left on my face. Thankfully she recently had some doggie dental work done and her breath wasn’t too bad. Eric never returned to our room. I was sure he was still asleep in one of the kid’s rooms. I heard my phone beeping like there was a text message, so I got up to check. I couldn’t believe what I read:
Renee, we have to talk. Things are not going well with Jared. I don’t ever want to talk to him again. Skipping the piece of crap cruise. You can use my ticket. Not gonna make it to dinner tonight either. Call me—jen :(
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! Crap!” I yelled out loud. I was glad no-one else was awake yet, besides my canine companion. And glad I hadn’t yelled something worse than that. My mouth had a way of slipping out a few non-euphemisms from time to time, though I wasn’t generally proud of those. I texted back using all ten fingers at once.
Jen, u can’t cancel. Let’s talk first. U guys have to come to dinner. Big surprise. What happened? Call me, now!—renee :(
Oh my gosh. I’m freaking. My one spontaneous and amazing plan in the past thirteen years and it’s not going to work out. I’ve got to do something. I have to find Jared. That’s what I’ve got to do. But how do I get his number. Maybe Jadan knows one of his friends from Starbucks. Ahhh… I’m panicking. This has to work.
I texted Jadan and amazingly he did have Jared’s last name, so I was able to look it up online. I got a hold of one of his old room-mates who lived with him before he moved out to buy his own townhome. I actually got it. So, I called and demanded to know what had happened.
“Hey Jared, this is Renee, Jen’s best friend. What the hell happened? Jen texted me and she’s pissed and freaking out. I need to know,” I ordered in a sharp tone.
“Wow, it’s still seven in the morning on a Saturday Renee. Don’t you think you might want to hear my side of the story first before you condemn me to the doghouse?” he patiently implored.
“Okay, sorry. I’m super stressed because, well… I’ll just come out and tell you. I planned this huge surprise that I was going to tell you and Jen about later tonight during dinner at my house. We were going to have a triple date cuz I bought tickets for me and my husband to join you guys on the cruise. And then, this new friend and his girlfriend planned to come too. And I’m usually not like this, I mean, we hardly travel since we’ve had kids, but I wanted it to work out so much. Now Jen’s acting crazy about something you did. What happened?” I questioned in a more civilized tone this time.
“Well, I’m not exactly sure Renee. Jen is a dramatic woman, let’s just say, I’m not totally sure. She was at my place and fell asleep out on the couch, but nothing happened. I mean, not that you care, but seriously we just had a nice dinner and watched a movie, so I covered her with a blanket and woke up to her yelling and acting ballistic. I’m as surprised as you are,” he said in a seriously perplexed tone.
“Wow, that is strange Jared. Sorry to accuse you like I did. That was truly rude of me. Maybe we can work this out. Can you tell me what you guys ate last night?”
“What we ate? Isn’t that a strange question? I mean, what the heck does that have to do with what happened?”
“Well, Jen is hypoglycemic. She gets imbalanced when her sugar gets off. When she starts wigging at me, I usually hand her a piece of candy and it gets us back on track. And the truth is, she’s totally PMSing too. She might just be having a panic attack about her decision to go on a cruise with someone she just met a few weeks ago,” I said trying to assuage his confusion.
“That’s a lot to take in. Okay, well things were going well. I was going to run out and get some bagels and coffee and return before she even woke up, but I ran out when I heard yelling and she was inconsolable. I didn’t have a fricking clue what to do, so if you can think of something, I’d love for this to work out somehow,” he said optimistically.
“No worries Jared. My family is still asleep but Eric’s home, so I’ll leave a note and then I’ll head over to her place to find her and calm her down,” I said convincingly.
“Okay, thanks Renee. That would be great. I’ll keep my phone on all day, so just text me or call when you figure anything out,” he begged.
“We’re like sisters so don’t worry. I’ll get this figured out,” I said comforting him over the phone.
I quickly changed my clothes, wrote a note for Eric, and grabbed my keys. And I was off like a speeding bullet over to Jen’s place. She had to be more settled down by this time. I was sure this would get worked out somehow. I basically ran through three orange, but technically red lights to get there as fast as I did. I barely locked my door as I sprinted to Jen’s door. I knocked like a Roman guard upon her navy blue door. The potted pink miniature roses sat peacefully next to me with their sweet aroma calming my nerves. I knew this would get resolved somehow. I heard footsteps and knew it had to be Jen.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
QUESTION FOR MY READERS:
QUICK VOTE, WHO THINKS JARED IS A GOOD GUY FOR JEN? SHOULD THEY STAY TOGETHER?
Labels: book excerpt from Stream of Consciousness
Friday, March 25, 2011
Excerpt #9, from pages 46-47 of "Stream of Consciousness"
I was so glad Jen was going to bring the mud-pie tomorrow for dessert. But after thinking it over, I should have asked her to just bring some non-fat frozen yogurt. I might have to bring mostly one suits on this cruise. It’d been quite awhile since I’d worn my bikinis. I’d just have to crank in a bunch of sit-ups later tonight. That would totally even things out, right? Okay, maybe not, but whatever, I was going to soak in the sun’s soothing rays no matter how many post baby pounds I’d gained. And I wasn’t looking too bad actually. It was just those few stubborn folds that refused to go flat no matter how many times I made it to the gym each week.
So let’s see. Where was I in my book. Opening folder: “Hug the Grass.” Okay, here it is. And we had… okay, so I ended with the John Keats’ poem. So, now I have to think up something else about that crazy rat. Hmmmm… I definitely need to pump some U2 in my earphones. Pause. Writing. “Uno, dos, tres, catorce…”
Okay, fingers to the keyboard, you can do this Renee. Get it together, at least a few more paragraphs before bed. Here goes:
“Well, the roses paid off Hon. I’d always heard that women in their thirties were better in bed because they know what they want. I guess it’s true. My woman knows what she wants,” Josh said with an enthusiastic smile on his face.
“Oh stop. I’m blushing. You’re still as cute and sweet as the boy I dated in high school. But, seriously, I had a great time too. I will love you for all of my life, even when our lives get psychotic and crazy. You know, like every day for the past seven years, ever since we had kids, come to think of it,” I said with a revelatory expression.
“Earlier this week, you chatted me about how you haven’t had much time to write with all of the stuff you’re doing for the kids, so give me a honey-do list today and I’ll try to help ya out some,” he offered in a compassionate voice.
“Thanks Babe. Do you have a whole notepad that I could write it all out on? Seriously, where do I even start? Why can’t the laundry wash itself? If only the garage could organize itself or the cluttered attic for that matter,” I complained.
Josh could tell that stress was overtaking me, so he grabbed me for a dragon-breath kiss. Then we began to kiss like we were teenagers again, except more skillfully and passionately. It was a reminder that we were still a sure thing. The chemistry was alive, even after seven years of dating and thirteen years of marriage.
After about ten minutes of blissful and uninterrupted snuggling, Josh retreated to the kitchen to mix up some pancakes with his own secret flair of apple sauce and baking powder for extra fluffiness. About fifteen minutes later, I joined him downstairs to get my coffee brewing. After a long night, I needed the caffeine rush more than ever. Within minutes of hearing that breakfast was ready, the wild ones joined us downstairs with their mouths wide open.
“Who wants whipped cream on theirs?” I asked, while carrying a fresh plate of Mickey Mouses and some bunnies, along with a few dinosaurs and lizards.
“I want a bunny please,” announced Katie in her sweet four-year-old trill.
“I want a T-Rex,” Grace asserted with a bit of six-year-old attitude thrown in.
“Well, this should do then,” Daddy said as he handed her a pancake that looked more like a hippo than a dinosaur.
“I’d like one Mickey Mouse and two lizards please,” Jake announced in his very mature seven-year-old voice.
Josh carried some fresh orange slices to the table in the hand-made ceramic bowl we’d bought a few months earlier at our church’s marriage retreat up in the mountains. Its pure black color made it simple and modern. After a few rounds of fresh squeezed orange juice, flavorful strawberries, and lots of creamy butter with warmed syrup, we spent the rest of the morning digesting quietly. I checked my email. Josh read the business section of our local Riverside newspaper while Katelyn read a Disney Princess book, Jake enjoyed the second volume of Ordinary Boy and Grace read one of her favorite Magic Treehouse books. It was surprisingly quiet in the house; even the rats were complying with the morning’s nonchalant agenda.
So let’s see. Where was I in my book. Opening folder: “Hug the Grass.” Okay, here it is. And we had… okay, so I ended with the John Keats’ poem. So, now I have to think up something else about that crazy rat. Hmmmm… I definitely need to pump some U2 in my earphones. Pause. Writing. “Uno, dos, tres, catorce…”
Okay, fingers to the keyboard, you can do this Renee. Get it together, at least a few more paragraphs before bed. Here goes:
“Well, the roses paid off Hon. I’d always heard that women in their thirties were better in bed because they know what they want. I guess it’s true. My woman knows what she wants,” Josh said with an enthusiastic smile on his face.
“Oh stop. I’m blushing. You’re still as cute and sweet as the boy I dated in high school. But, seriously, I had a great time too. I will love you for all of my life, even when our lives get psychotic and crazy. You know, like every day for the past seven years, ever since we had kids, come to think of it,” I said with a revelatory expression.
“Earlier this week, you chatted me about how you haven’t had much time to write with all of the stuff you’re doing for the kids, so give me a honey-do list today and I’ll try to help ya out some,” he offered in a compassionate voice.
“Thanks Babe. Do you have a whole notepad that I could write it all out on? Seriously, where do I even start? Why can’t the laundry wash itself? If only the garage could organize itself or the cluttered attic for that matter,” I complained.
Josh could tell that stress was overtaking me, so he grabbed me for a dragon-breath kiss. Then we began to kiss like we were teenagers again, except more skillfully and passionately. It was a reminder that we were still a sure thing. The chemistry was alive, even after seven years of dating and thirteen years of marriage.
After about ten minutes of blissful and uninterrupted snuggling, Josh retreated to the kitchen to mix up some pancakes with his own secret flair of apple sauce and baking powder for extra fluffiness. About fifteen minutes later, I joined him downstairs to get my coffee brewing. After a long night, I needed the caffeine rush more than ever. Within minutes of hearing that breakfast was ready, the wild ones joined us downstairs with their mouths wide open.
“Who wants whipped cream on theirs?” I asked, while carrying a fresh plate of Mickey Mouses and some bunnies, along with a few dinosaurs and lizards.
“I want a bunny please,” announced Katie in her sweet four-year-old trill.
“I want a T-Rex,” Grace asserted with a bit of six-year-old attitude thrown in.
“Well, this should do then,” Daddy said as he handed her a pancake that looked more like a hippo than a dinosaur.
“I’d like one Mickey Mouse and two lizards please,” Jake announced in his very mature seven-year-old voice.
Josh carried some fresh orange slices to the table in the hand-made ceramic bowl we’d bought a few months earlier at our church’s marriage retreat up in the mountains. Its pure black color made it simple and modern. After a few rounds of fresh squeezed orange juice, flavorful strawberries, and lots of creamy butter with warmed syrup, we spent the rest of the morning digesting quietly. I checked my email. Josh read the business section of our local Riverside newspaper while Katelyn read a Disney Princess book, Jake enjoyed the second volume of Ordinary Boy and Grace read one of her favorite Magic Treehouse books. It was surprisingly quiet in the house; even the rats were complying with the morning’s nonchalant agenda.
Labels: excerpt #9, Stream of Consciousness
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
De-clutter your home
It's that time of year again for some good old fashioned spring cleaning. Summer break feels like it's just around the corner and the kids will be home for warmer and longer days in no time. So, it's time to de-clutter now while you've got a bit of free time on your hands. Here are three simple tips to get started.
First, throw it in the trash! If no one else can use that thing, whatever it happens to be, just get rid of it. Recycle if possible, of course, but toss it and let it rot somewhere else, just no longer in your house. It feels so cathartic to toss those old unnecessary items into that brown or blue bin on the side-yard.
When my husband and I recently cleaned out our garage and laundry room, we threw away and recycled tons of items that we literally hadn't used in the last two years. Stuff from shoe boxes to paint containers disappeared and we now have more available space. In fact, our new red mini-van actually fits into the garage now! :)
Second, donate your junk! If you aren't using it anymore go ahead and bless it over to a friend or a co-worker. They might need that baby bouncer or those tropical seafood cookbooks you haven't used in the last decade. And if you have too much crap to dispense of individually, just call the AMVETS or the Salvation Army. Then you'll even get a tax write-off as well.
We placed a plethora of items out on our curb, from wooden chairs to clothes and an old television. About fifteen minutes later, a guy drove by and shoved it all into his van. We were glad he could use it or sell it for his own good. Honestly, it made it easier for us not to have to haul it all back into the garage later that night.
Third, reorganize your stuff! Sometimes you just can't part with those beloved parcels. But you could store them differently to minimize the chaos. Try rearranging stressful zones with shelves for books, bins for closet items, and boxes for keepsakes that only come out once or twice a year.
I shoved a bunch of Christmas items into storage bins to free up some space in the laundry room. Since they're sealed, I know they will be snug and safe until next Christmas. Now I have more space for cleaning supplies and beach towels. A few of my shelves even sit empty, which is a first.
You'll experience three main benefits by going through this process to de-clutter your home. First, you'll instantly feel more peaceful. I couldn't believe how much better I felt about my whole house just knowing I'd gotten rid of so much clutter in one day. Second, you'll help someone else out by donating and you'll assist the environment by recycling. Third, you'll open up more space to display some of the stuff you really care about and need.
Keeping it real. Share your thoughts about de-cluttering here. We'd love to hear from you.
First, throw it in the trash! If no one else can use that thing, whatever it happens to be, just get rid of it. Recycle if possible, of course, but toss it and let it rot somewhere else, just no longer in your house. It feels so cathartic to toss those old unnecessary items into that brown or blue bin on the side-yard.
When my husband and I recently cleaned out our garage and laundry room, we threw away and recycled tons of items that we literally hadn't used in the last two years. Stuff from shoe boxes to paint containers disappeared and we now have more available space. In fact, our new red mini-van actually fits into the garage now! :)
Second, donate your junk! If you aren't using it anymore go ahead and bless it over to a friend or a co-worker. They might need that baby bouncer or those tropical seafood cookbooks you haven't used in the last decade. And if you have too much crap to dispense of individually, just call the AMVETS or the Salvation Army. Then you'll even get a tax write-off as well.
We placed a plethora of items out on our curb, from wooden chairs to clothes and an old television. About fifteen minutes later, a guy drove by and shoved it all into his van. We were glad he could use it or sell it for his own good. Honestly, it made it easier for us not to have to haul it all back into the garage later that night.
Third, reorganize your stuff! Sometimes you just can't part with those beloved parcels. But you could store them differently to minimize the chaos. Try rearranging stressful zones with shelves for books, bins for closet items, and boxes for keepsakes that only come out once or twice a year.
I shoved a bunch of Christmas items into storage bins to free up some space in the laundry room. Since they're sealed, I know they will be snug and safe until next Christmas. Now I have more space for cleaning supplies and beach towels. A few of my shelves even sit empty, which is a first.
You'll experience three main benefits by going through this process to de-clutter your home. First, you'll instantly feel more peaceful. I couldn't believe how much better I felt about my whole house just knowing I'd gotten rid of so much clutter in one day. Second, you'll help someone else out by donating and you'll assist the environment by recycling. Third, you'll open up more space to display some of the stuff you really care about and need.
Keeping it real. Share your thoughts about de-cluttering here. We'd love to hear from you.
Labels: de-clutter, kids, parents, spring cleaning
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Linear perfection
I recently constructed an art piece for a church art show. It consists of nine 8x10 prints of various words written in the sand. The calligraphy flows with the curve of the earth with tremendous beauty. Each print is a Biblical word, except for the middle picture, which is a heart made out of beach rocks.
It looks pretty great, but the prints did not line up into perfect ninety degree angles as I'd hoped. And by the time the hot glue dried, it became almost impossible to rotate them even a tenth of one degree. So, I had to accept it the way it was.
After the show, I returned home and hung the canvas frame up on my kitchen wall. As I transfixed my gaze upon its imperfections, I tried to be at peace with what I'd made. I stared. I wrestled. I prayed. I wanted God to reveal something to me about the piece that He'd allowed me to construct for His glory.
And then it hit me. My life is like this oceanic artwork. Even though I want all of life's details to line up to linear perfection here on earth, they simply can NOT. And this really comes down to an issue of control. I want what I want and I want it now.
I want healing for past hurts TODAY! I want a perfect marriage TODAY! I want my kids' hearts to be shaped into God's image and His obedience TODAY! I desire success for my artistic dreams TODAY! I want patience and love and hope and peace TODAY!
And yet, God has something else. He longs for us to "Be still and know that (He) is God" (Psalm 46:10). The words that I wrote in the sand come to fruition when and only when they are centered around God's heart: hope, love, kindness, peace, gentleness, patience, joy, and self control.
Similarly, our own pursuits and goals manifest harmony when anchored to His heart as well. Maybe your career oscillates between success and failure. Or perhaps you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel through a particular emotional issue.
It could be that your marriage is about to tank and you're terrified about the unknown. Maybe you face a problematic health issue or a devastating financial dilemma. Perhaps you've just lost your faith in God and in people. You want to believe, but you simply can not.
As Christians, we must sprint into God's heart. He wants us to launch in with everything we've got. And He will be there to catch us, with His open arms of love. When we submit it all to Him, we will find the answers. And when we surrender completely to His will, we will be transformed along the way.
But IT DOESN'T MEAN that everything will line up perfectly as a result. God is not a genie in a bottle. He does not answer to our beck and call. He gives us His good gifts based on His omniscient time-line. And while we wait, He always hears, always loves, and patiently guides us along the journey.
So if your pictures don't line up to linear perfection, that's okay. None of ours do. But there's a Plan B scenario on the way. Or there's a lemon just waiting to be turned into the Lord's lemonade. Just stay on the course and try to see the big picture. God is the Master Artist and He's got your life designed with a purpose.
Keeping it real! Share your thoughts here. We'd love to hear from you!
It looks pretty great, but the prints did not line up into perfect ninety degree angles as I'd hoped. And by the time the hot glue dried, it became almost impossible to rotate them even a tenth of one degree. So, I had to accept it the way it was.
After the show, I returned home and hung the canvas frame up on my kitchen wall. As I transfixed my gaze upon its imperfections, I tried to be at peace with what I'd made. I stared. I wrestled. I prayed. I wanted God to reveal something to me about the piece that He'd allowed me to construct for His glory.
And then it hit me. My life is like this oceanic artwork. Even though I want all of life's details to line up to linear perfection here on earth, they simply can NOT. And this really comes down to an issue of control. I want what I want and I want it now.
I want healing for past hurts TODAY! I want a perfect marriage TODAY! I want my kids' hearts to be shaped into God's image and His obedience TODAY! I desire success for my artistic dreams TODAY! I want patience and love and hope and peace TODAY!
And yet, God has something else. He longs for us to "Be still and know that (He) is God" (Psalm 46:10). The words that I wrote in the sand come to fruition when and only when they are centered around God's heart: hope, love, kindness, peace, gentleness, patience, joy, and self control.
Similarly, our own pursuits and goals manifest harmony when anchored to His heart as well. Maybe your career oscillates between success and failure. Or perhaps you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel through a particular emotional issue.
It could be that your marriage is about to tank and you're terrified about the unknown. Maybe you face a problematic health issue or a devastating financial dilemma. Perhaps you've just lost your faith in God and in people. You want to believe, but you simply can not.
As Christians, we must sprint into God's heart. He wants us to launch in with everything we've got. And He will be there to catch us, with His open arms of love. When we submit it all to Him, we will find the answers. And when we surrender completely to His will, we will be transformed along the way.
But IT DOESN'T MEAN that everything will line up perfectly as a result. God is not a genie in a bottle. He does not answer to our beck and call. He gives us His good gifts based on His omniscient time-line. And while we wait, He always hears, always loves, and patiently guides us along the journey.
So if your pictures don't line up to linear perfection, that's okay. None of ours do. But there's a Plan B scenario on the way. Or there's a lemon just waiting to be turned into the Lord's lemonade. Just stay on the course and try to see the big picture. God is the Master Artist and He's got your life designed with a purpose.
Keeping it real! Share your thoughts here. We'd love to hear from you!
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Excerpt #8, from pages 41-43 of "Stream of Consciousness"
“So how’s the nature essay going Renee?” Jadan asked while peeking over at my screen.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I finished it. Want to read it?” I asked enthusiastically.
“Of course, fire it on over to me. Here’s my email. I don’t think you have it.”
“Okay, I’ll just attach it as a Word doc. so the format doesn’t get all messed up,” I suggested.
“Lemme know when you get it,” I requested.
“Just a sec. My computer is smoking fast… so it should be here almost instantly. Yep, got it! Okay, let me check it out,” he said with an energetic look on his face.
Jadan sat reading for what seemed like an eternity. I didn’t usually get editorial feed-back from local acquaintances since I much preferred most editors’ harshness. At least, they just tell you like it is. I always hated when someone acted like something was better than it really was. Editors never did that, so it kept for an honest playing field. So, I distracted myself nervously with a few texts while Jadan surveyed the words upon his screen. And then, he reached over and gave me a hi-five. So, I hi-fived back, which felt kind of childish, but I think he liked my essay, which was positive. The least I could do was to return the praise. And it did feel good to be done with that piece.
“So you thought it was okay,” I inquired apprehensively.
“It totally rocks Renee. You have a way with words and it pulls out all this literary zeal from my core… takes me back to my general education stuff from college, the literature and all that writing I used to have to do just to get out of there with my B.A. It’s truly poetic,” he said smiling into my tired hazel eyes.
“Okay, for real, or are you just feeding me a line?” I asked.
“For real. And now, you get to start your book.”
“Oh, I already did. I finished this piece awhile ago, so I’m actually already on page four of my book. But I won’t show you that yet. It’s totally raw and unedited. But, I have a tentative title: Hug the Grass,” I said showing him the title. Then I shut my screen and packed up my stuff so I could join up with my family in a couple of hours after a plethora of quick errands.
“Are you heading home already?” he asked.
“Yep. I've got to make a few stops and grab some grub for dinner. Then, I’ll join Eric and the kids at home and see how Danielle is feeling. If you want us at seven for dinner, that should work, but I’m kind of looking into a vacation for next week, so I might be busy working out some of those details…” I said forgetting how quickly Jen’s cruise was approaching.
“A vacation? You’re planning one for next week or something?” he asked quizzically.
“Yes! I know it sounds crazy, but I was thinking of going on that cruise with Jen and Jared. I mean, Eric and I could really use a vacation. And since he teaches at the University he can check and post assignments online from abroad and my mom totally misses the kids. So I actually think it might work out. I just need to convince Eric first and get a hold of Jen’s itinerary so I can book the rooms on the right ship. But, it pretty much seems like a no-brainer. This way I can totally check on Jen and make sure Jared doesn’t throw her over-board. He’d never do something nuts like that with witnesses so close by,” I said like it was the most brilliant plan ever invented.
“Wow! That’s really crazy Renee,” he said wide-eyed.
“Yeah, I know it sounds nuts. But I started getting all jealous, feeling like it should be me going on the cruise instead of Jen. And then it hit me. I could surprise her and Eric too and it could actually turn out to be really fun… a double date of sorts.”
“Well, we could just cancel the double date this weekend and Molly and I could join you as well. A cruise does sound really fun and I could still do some of my trades from the ship too. Molly would love it. I could just put the tickets in a card for her to open after dinner,” he said enthusiastically.
“The more the merrier. Why the heck not,” I laughed.
“Okay, give me your number real quick so I can text you for some of the details,” he said pulling out his IPhone.
“Sure, just text me and then I’ll have yours as well,” I said pulling out my Evo.
I packed up my stuff as speedily as a pelican diving for fish. And I was off. I waved goodbye to Jadan and told him I’d email him the cruise itinerary and flight info once I obtained the goods from Jen. It did seem like a pretty off-the-wall plan. And it did have a few risks. First, Jen might end up being totally pissed at me. But she was my best friend after all. So a back-up plan was in order. I’d just show her the new Roxy sarong and flip flops I’d buy her later today and she’d adjust to the idea in no time. She’d probably even see it as an emotionally bonding trip: a triple date, how fun!
To convince Eric, I’d mention the tropical margaritas, the fun dancing, and the snorkeling, which will remind him of our honeymoon in Maui. Then, I’d tell him how I’d already emailed his boss and how I’d lined up babysitting with my mom. Then, he’ll race at me with a passionate kiss and love me even more than he already does. My back-up plan with him will be to push the early anniversary angle while reminding him of how we haven’t taken a week-long trip without the kids in years. Thirteen years is coming up and we missed going to England for our tenth… so he’ll totally go for it!
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I finished it. Want to read it?” I asked enthusiastically.
“Of course, fire it on over to me. Here’s my email. I don’t think you have it.”
“Okay, I’ll just attach it as a Word doc. so the format doesn’t get all messed up,” I suggested.
“Lemme know when you get it,” I requested.
“Just a sec. My computer is smoking fast… so it should be here almost instantly. Yep, got it! Okay, let me check it out,” he said with an energetic look on his face.
Jadan sat reading for what seemed like an eternity. I didn’t usually get editorial feed-back from local acquaintances since I much preferred most editors’ harshness. At least, they just tell you like it is. I always hated when someone acted like something was better than it really was. Editors never did that, so it kept for an honest playing field. So, I distracted myself nervously with a few texts while Jadan surveyed the words upon his screen. And then, he reached over and gave me a hi-five. So, I hi-fived back, which felt kind of childish, but I think he liked my essay, which was positive. The least I could do was to return the praise. And it did feel good to be done with that piece.
“So you thought it was okay,” I inquired apprehensively.
“It totally rocks Renee. You have a way with words and it pulls out all this literary zeal from my core… takes me back to my general education stuff from college, the literature and all that writing I used to have to do just to get out of there with my B.A. It’s truly poetic,” he said smiling into my tired hazel eyes.
“Okay, for real, or are you just feeding me a line?” I asked.
“For real. And now, you get to start your book.”
“Oh, I already did. I finished this piece awhile ago, so I’m actually already on page four of my book. But I won’t show you that yet. It’s totally raw and unedited. But, I have a tentative title: Hug the Grass,” I said showing him the title. Then I shut my screen and packed up my stuff so I could join up with my family in a couple of hours after a plethora of quick errands.
“Are you heading home already?” he asked.
“Yep. I've got to make a few stops and grab some grub for dinner. Then, I’ll join Eric and the kids at home and see how Danielle is feeling. If you want us at seven for dinner, that should work, but I’m kind of looking into a vacation for next week, so I might be busy working out some of those details…” I said forgetting how quickly Jen’s cruise was approaching.
“A vacation? You’re planning one for next week or something?” he asked quizzically.
“Yes! I know it sounds crazy, but I was thinking of going on that cruise with Jen and Jared. I mean, Eric and I could really use a vacation. And since he teaches at the University he can check and post assignments online from abroad and my mom totally misses the kids. So I actually think it might work out. I just need to convince Eric first and get a hold of Jen’s itinerary so I can book the rooms on the right ship. But, it pretty much seems like a no-brainer. This way I can totally check on Jen and make sure Jared doesn’t throw her over-board. He’d never do something nuts like that with witnesses so close by,” I said like it was the most brilliant plan ever invented.
“Wow! That’s really crazy Renee,” he said wide-eyed.
“Yeah, I know it sounds nuts. But I started getting all jealous, feeling like it should be me going on the cruise instead of Jen. And then it hit me. I could surprise her and Eric too and it could actually turn out to be really fun… a double date of sorts.”
“Well, we could just cancel the double date this weekend and Molly and I could join you as well. A cruise does sound really fun and I could still do some of my trades from the ship too. Molly would love it. I could just put the tickets in a card for her to open after dinner,” he said enthusiastically.
“The more the merrier. Why the heck not,” I laughed.
“Okay, give me your number real quick so I can text you for some of the details,” he said pulling out his IPhone.
“Sure, just text me and then I’ll have yours as well,” I said pulling out my Evo.
I packed up my stuff as speedily as a pelican diving for fish. And I was off. I waved goodbye to Jadan and told him I’d email him the cruise itinerary and flight info once I obtained the goods from Jen. It did seem like a pretty off-the-wall plan. And it did have a few risks. First, Jen might end up being totally pissed at me. But she was my best friend after all. So a back-up plan was in order. I’d just show her the new Roxy sarong and flip flops I’d buy her later today and she’d adjust to the idea in no time. She’d probably even see it as an emotionally bonding trip: a triple date, how fun!
To convince Eric, I’d mention the tropical margaritas, the fun dancing, and the snorkeling, which will remind him of our honeymoon in Maui. Then, I’d tell him how I’d already emailed his boss and how I’d lined up babysitting with my mom. Then, he’ll race at me with a passionate kiss and love me even more than he already does. My back-up plan with him will be to push the early anniversary angle while reminding him of how we haven’t taken a week-long trip without the kids in years. Thirteen years is coming up and we missed going to England for our tenth… so he’ll totally go for it!
Labels: excerpt #7, Stream of Consciousness
Saturday, March 05, 2011
To be happy
As Americans, most of us long to be gloriously happy. To achieve that goal, we each respond to an innate drive within to win the most stuff, to be number one at everything, and to acquire the most goods. Whether it's Happy Meal toys for the kids or bigger ones for the parents, we long to own more junk. And we want it to be the best and biggest and the most popular of all.
We often submit to a common misconception that if we could simply access or achieve "such and such," then joyful harmony would follow. For example, if that side of the wall that drives me nuts just gets repainted, then I'll love my house so much more. Or if my kids would simply clean up more of their own messes, I'd be a happier mom and wife. Perhaps if you get that raise at work, then you'll feel more valued.
Many of us feel like we'd be truly happy if we just had unlimited financial resources. Then we could buy the whole planet, but would we really be more satisfied? Some people feel like they'd have better self esteem if they just had a brand new wardrobe. A new car. A new spouse. A new house. A new job. A new dog. And a new pair of sunglasses to see the world through rosy pink lenses.
Similarly, we apply the "if this, then that" type of reasoning to close relationships: marriages, friendships, and extended family associations. We assume that if our spouse would just do this or that, then the marriage would be fabulous. If that friend would just listen better, we'd be so much closer. Maybe you blame your parents' busy schedules for their limited social involvement. If only they would spend more time with your kids, then all would be right with the world.
And it's not that some of these things aren't grounded in truth. Because some are just obviously true. I'd feel happier if lots of stuff went the way I wanted it to. But this idea that we can't be happy without obtaining these ends can tie us up into ridiculous knots. So we must stop to examine some of their claims along the way. If we really owned the most stuff, were the best at everything we did, and won everything we could possibly win, would we really end up so overwhelmingly blissful?
I think the answer is obvious: that we would not possess supernatural happiness. And yet, we play this game like we can't be happy inside of our own set of circumstances. We get lost in the ineffectual mantras of "If I were just prettier or smarter or richer or more successful like so-and-so..." which weigh us down and actually create discontentment.
To compare our stuff to someone else's treasure is neither reasonable nor effective. Why should you have everything that your neighbor has in the first place? Also, what good does it do to gripe over the stuff you can't have right now? Some would say that it allows you to be more vicious in your determination. Maybe it's the edge you need to climb to the top. Maybe if you long to win the Lotto enough, then it will eventually happen for you.
If that friend doesn't want to invest the time right now, then maybe you should just let her have it and bail out of the relationship as well. If she won't say sorry first, you should just write her off as a friend, right? Or perhaps, a state of contentedness right where you're at is the thing that will bring true happiness.
Today I freaked out at my daughter because she refused to quit adding toys to a pretend breakfast area she'd created. She wouldn't give me back the bin of books or Legos and I went ballistic. I got so upset because I was exhausted and couldn't do anything to make her listen to me.
I had started to believe that if I could just have a cleaner house, I would feel better about myself and happier in my countenance. But, the truth is that I ended up feeling like crap for having gotten so mad at my four-year-old. We do this with stuff too. If I just had the new car? The new job? The new relationship? The new vacation planned? And then those get dirty, old, and expired too.
When we waste too much time chasing the wind that can NOT be caught, we pay the price. So we need to pause to evaluate the kind of goals we want to have in the first place. Since "happiness" is most people's main aspiration in life, it seems reasonable to slow down to examine what that looks like for your particular family. Decide if money will truly make you happy.
Figure out which relationships are the most important. Being number one at your office might make you the best corporate climber but one of the worst possible dads. Which will make you happier? What about your home? Does it really have to look like it's out of a magazine for it to be good enough?
What if you just take a break to go and play with your kids even though it stays messy as a result? How about mopping just the messy spots rather than all of the floors so that you carve out some quality family time? The investment with the kids will likely produce the most satisfaction in the end.
Making sacrifices once you decide what truly makes you happy means that you'll miss out on some stuff and some public accolades as a result. You might not get the boat or the motor-home this year. You might have to wait for a new car and settle for a used one. You might have to give up the promotion if you're not willing to put in sixty hour work-weeks.
Similarly, you might have to be more gracious towards certain relationships and quit blaming their lack of success on everyone else. If that relationship is super important, then stop whining and invest in those people. If your relative has no time for you, offer to help him or her with one of their projects. Don't make excuses... "if only she or he would do this..." Get over yourself and go for the ultimate goal to be happy by making the right choices.
While feelings of happiness wax and wane depending on the kind of day we've each had, a state of relative contentment can be attained by taking some time out to evaluate what you really want in life. If your family, other close relationships, and faith come up on the top of the list, I think you're headed in the right direction.
And it doesn't mean you can't buy a new shirt or get a new hairdo. Nor does it mean you can't get that season sport's package or pick out some fun paint colors to spritz up the house. Just make sure your own happiness isn't contingent upon those acquisitions or accomplishments. Be content with what's staring you in the face. Share what makes you happy. We'd love to hear from you! :)
We often submit to a common misconception that if we could simply access or achieve "such and such," then joyful harmony would follow. For example, if that side of the wall that drives me nuts just gets repainted, then I'll love my house so much more. Or if my kids would simply clean up more of their own messes, I'd be a happier mom and wife. Perhaps if you get that raise at work, then you'll feel more valued.
Many of us feel like we'd be truly happy if we just had unlimited financial resources. Then we could buy the whole planet, but would we really be more satisfied? Some people feel like they'd have better self esteem if they just had a brand new wardrobe. A new car. A new spouse. A new house. A new job. A new dog. And a new pair of sunglasses to see the world through rosy pink lenses.
Similarly, we apply the "if this, then that" type of reasoning to close relationships: marriages, friendships, and extended family associations. We assume that if our spouse would just do this or that, then the marriage would be fabulous. If that friend would just listen better, we'd be so much closer. Maybe you blame your parents' busy schedules for their limited social involvement. If only they would spend more time with your kids, then all would be right with the world.
And it's not that some of these things aren't grounded in truth. Because some are just obviously true. I'd feel happier if lots of stuff went the way I wanted it to. But this idea that we can't be happy without obtaining these ends can tie us up into ridiculous knots. So we must stop to examine some of their claims along the way. If we really owned the most stuff, were the best at everything we did, and won everything we could possibly win, would we really end up so overwhelmingly blissful?
I think the answer is obvious: that we would not possess supernatural happiness. And yet, we play this game like we can't be happy inside of our own set of circumstances. We get lost in the ineffectual mantras of "If I were just prettier or smarter or richer or more successful like so-and-so..." which weigh us down and actually create discontentment.
To compare our stuff to someone else's treasure is neither reasonable nor effective. Why should you have everything that your neighbor has in the first place? Also, what good does it do to gripe over the stuff you can't have right now? Some would say that it allows you to be more vicious in your determination. Maybe it's the edge you need to climb to the top. Maybe if you long to win the Lotto enough, then it will eventually happen for you.
If that friend doesn't want to invest the time right now, then maybe you should just let her have it and bail out of the relationship as well. If she won't say sorry first, you should just write her off as a friend, right? Or perhaps, a state of contentedness right where you're at is the thing that will bring true happiness.
Today I freaked out at my daughter because she refused to quit adding toys to a pretend breakfast area she'd created. She wouldn't give me back the bin of books or Legos and I went ballistic. I got so upset because I was exhausted and couldn't do anything to make her listen to me.
I had started to believe that if I could just have a cleaner house, I would feel better about myself and happier in my countenance. But, the truth is that I ended up feeling like crap for having gotten so mad at my four-year-old. We do this with stuff too. If I just had the new car? The new job? The new relationship? The new vacation planned? And then those get dirty, old, and expired too.
When we waste too much time chasing the wind that can NOT be caught, we pay the price. So we need to pause to evaluate the kind of goals we want to have in the first place. Since "happiness" is most people's main aspiration in life, it seems reasonable to slow down to examine what that looks like for your particular family. Decide if money will truly make you happy.
Figure out which relationships are the most important. Being number one at your office might make you the best corporate climber but one of the worst possible dads. Which will make you happier? What about your home? Does it really have to look like it's out of a magazine for it to be good enough?
What if you just take a break to go and play with your kids even though it stays messy as a result? How about mopping just the messy spots rather than all of the floors so that you carve out some quality family time? The investment with the kids will likely produce the most satisfaction in the end.
Making sacrifices once you decide what truly makes you happy means that you'll miss out on some stuff and some public accolades as a result. You might not get the boat or the motor-home this year. You might have to wait for a new car and settle for a used one. You might have to give up the promotion if you're not willing to put in sixty hour work-weeks.
Similarly, you might have to be more gracious towards certain relationships and quit blaming their lack of success on everyone else. If that relationship is super important, then stop whining and invest in those people. If your relative has no time for you, offer to help him or her with one of their projects. Don't make excuses... "if only she or he would do this..." Get over yourself and go for the ultimate goal to be happy by making the right choices.
While feelings of happiness wax and wane depending on the kind of day we've each had, a state of relative contentment can be attained by taking some time out to evaluate what you really want in life. If your family, other close relationships, and faith come up on the top of the list, I think you're headed in the right direction.
And it doesn't mean you can't buy a new shirt or get a new hairdo. Nor does it mean you can't get that season sport's package or pick out some fun paint colors to spritz up the house. Just make sure your own happiness isn't contingent upon those acquisitions or accomplishments. Be content with what's staring you in the face. Share what makes you happy. We'd love to hear from you! :)
Labels: happiness, kids, parents
Friday, March 04, 2011
Controlled chaos
As moms, we learn to go with the flow, pretty much on a daily basis. Survival mode isn't always our preference, but it is a learned discipline that we must perfect. Today was no exception. The morning routine seemed fairly uneventful... toast and fruit for breakfast, lunches packed, backpacks thrown out the front door. And into the van we raced!
Then, my squeamish middle daughter saw a slug on the ground which made her gag inside the van, which turned into full-fledged vomiting. So, I ran into the laundry room through the garage to grab the Oxi-clean and five small towels. After cleaning the van as fast as I could, we darted into the chilly morning to drop off my son. At least one Bright would make it to school today.
The drive home was relatively peaceful and the morning seemed typical: cleaning, emailing, writing, laundry, and preparing snacks. But at around eleven in the morning, my littlest ran downstairs crying really hard. I knew something horrific had happened. After calming her down a bit, I discovered she had fallen down with a pencil in her mouth. Blood was oozing from her nose and her mouth, so my response was pretty remarkable, given that my nervous heart was racing like a cheetah.
Off to Kaiser we zoomed. At this point, I was convinced that my middle daughter did not actually have the flu, so thankfully it was safe again for her to ride in the van. But my littlest could not stop crying and her state of shock was freaking me out. We got to her pediatrician in a flash, thanks to my super-mommy driving and my wizardry performance for a same hour appointment.
Thankfully, the injury did not cause any permanent damage and no stitches were required. A McDonald's Happy Meal (she got the new Barbie) and some anesthetic mouth-wash transformed her sad face into a renewed princess smile. And we continued on with the day. She might even rally for her ballet class later this evening. And she is certainly enjoying the soft food regimen: melted caramel, ice cream, and lots of fun kid-drinks.
Just remember that as moms, we are called to something greater: the ability to live amongst controlled chaos at all times! Keep it up ladies! You are doing an awesome job! Share one of your crazy stories here. We'd love to hear from you. :)
Then, my squeamish middle daughter saw a slug on the ground which made her gag inside the van, which turned into full-fledged vomiting. So, I ran into the laundry room through the garage to grab the Oxi-clean and five small towels. After cleaning the van as fast as I could, we darted into the chilly morning to drop off my son. At least one Bright would make it to school today.
The drive home was relatively peaceful and the morning seemed typical: cleaning, emailing, writing, laundry, and preparing snacks. But at around eleven in the morning, my littlest ran downstairs crying really hard. I knew something horrific had happened. After calming her down a bit, I discovered she had fallen down with a pencil in her mouth. Blood was oozing from her nose and her mouth, so my response was pretty remarkable, given that my nervous heart was racing like a cheetah.
Off to Kaiser we zoomed. At this point, I was convinced that my middle daughter did not actually have the flu, so thankfully it was safe again for her to ride in the van. But my littlest could not stop crying and her state of shock was freaking me out. We got to her pediatrician in a flash, thanks to my super-mommy driving and my wizardry performance for a same hour appointment.
Thankfully, the injury did not cause any permanent damage and no stitches were required. A McDonald's Happy Meal (she got the new Barbie) and some anesthetic mouth-wash transformed her sad face into a renewed princess smile. And we continued on with the day. She might even rally for her ballet class later this evening. And she is certainly enjoying the soft food regimen: melted caramel, ice cream, and lots of fun kid-drinks.
Just remember that as moms, we are called to something greater: the ability to live amongst controlled chaos at all times! Keep it up ladies! You are doing an awesome job! Share one of your crazy stories here. We'd love to hear from you. :)
Thursday, March 03, 2011
Excerpt #7, from pages 37/38 of "Stream of Consciousness"
Here I am finally... on my last paragraph. Ahhhh… to write like a dolphin. To glide into my last few words here and then to be done. Then I can email it off and head home to check on Danielle. I bet he took her to the beach to feed the seagulls after ice cream. So much for her sick-day at home. But, he’s so great with her. Oh, that reminds me to text Eric to get the other kids while they’re out and about. Okay... here goes, my final words about the dolphin:
To obey, to be, to give in. The simplistic joy of being. Of loving. Of hating. Of rejoicing. Of weeping. The dolphin jumps above the surface. She catches a ray of warmth upon her back. She smiles. She goes back under. She races into a new adventure. Ready for hope. Ready for love. Ready for the wind and sun and salt to splash into her eyes. And then, she gets eaten by a great white shark. And yet, she is renewed. Born again, into a stronger creature... to thrive... to grow... to overcome.
Okay, hit send. And it’s off… short and sweet and crazy, but Samantha is going to love it. She’ll eat up the ending too, I know it. Who’d have thought that the dolphin would die? But the truth is that we all die someday and then heaven awaits. So, for now this dolphin is going to die. But, in an upbeat way. She’s gonna be so pumped that I’m done with it. Yes. Thank you God! Finally. Okay, now, I’m off to my new folder titled “Book.” So pathetic though. The “Simon Says” thing isn’t working for me yet. Still gonna keep my baby title-less. But that’s okay. All good writers hit roadblocks from time to time. I’ve just got to put mine into four-wheel-drive. Here goes. I’m just gonna write what comes to mind. For now, I’ll call it this:
“Hug the Grass”
The wind blew in a friendly fashion leaving its welcoming spring scent on my face. I could smell the delights of freshly mowed grass and the local barbeques in the area. I was thrilled to return home for dinner, though not quite sure of what I was going to make yet. My tummy grumbled since all I’d eaten was a small bowl of Cheerios for breakfast and a light salad with chopped walnuts and Bleu Cheese dressing for lunch.
“Simon says hug the grass. Simon says hop up and down like a monkey! Touch your belly button…” Grace called out to her brother.
“Mom, Jake touched his belly button, but I didn’t say Simon Says, so he’s out. Tell him, it’s my turn,” Grace shouted into my ear while I chatted with my mom on my cell.
“Hey Mom, how’s it going? Yeah, we just left the park. I’m gonna make quesadillas for dinner. I would’ve preferred tacos, but I forgot to set out some ground beef. What are you up to? Sorry, hold on Mom for just a second,” I said in a winded voice.
“Kids, I’m on the phone with Grammy, so please use your inside voices,” I patiently pleaded.
“Thanks Mom, I’m back. So you were about to say…”
“I just took Lexi out for a walk and had a thirty minute conversation with Dorothy. I’ll be taking her to her eye appointment tomorrow in the city, so that means we’ll have to leave at seven since it takes us about fifty-five minutes to get to that part of town. There’s no traffic for the thirty minutes of winding desert roads out of Borrego Springs, but once we hit the highway, then you never know.”
“Well, I’m glad you’ve been out walking Lexi. She’s such a sweet puppy. And, that’s great that you’re helping Dorothy out. I bet she’s so lonely since her husband died. She seems really strong, like she’s going to pull through this.”
“She is really tough, so I’m sure she’ll be okay. But it’s hard to know how to help. I know I can only pray for her and try to be her friend,” she said in a tender voice.
“You’re doing a great job just by being her friend, Mom. Hey, if you feel like driving up after her appointment, you could swing by for an early dinner with us. You could even spend the night. I just bought some organic French Roast coffee that you’d love and we could make some cranberry scones in the morning.”
“Well, I’m way behind in our book-keeping, so I’ll have to postpone our next visit. Jack has been working so hard at the business and I hate to leave him alone,” she commented with concern.
“No worries Mom. I just miss you and hope we can hang out sometime soon. We just got home and I have to unload the munchkins. Can we chat tomorrow?” I pleaded.
“No problem Honey. I love you so much. Just give those kids a hug and a kiss from their Grammy. And tell them I love them,” she requested in a calm manner.
“Sure thing Mom. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Thanks for calling.”
I hung up the phone. And five minutes later, we arrived at our house and the chaos of the dinnertime hour kicked in with a fury. The dogs begged for their food. Jake and Grace argued about the Wii controllers while Katie changed out of her Snow White outfit and into her Cinderella dress.
To obey, to be, to give in. The simplistic joy of being. Of loving. Of hating. Of rejoicing. Of weeping. The dolphin jumps above the surface. She catches a ray of warmth upon her back. She smiles. She goes back under. She races into a new adventure. Ready for hope. Ready for love. Ready for the wind and sun and salt to splash into her eyes. And then, she gets eaten by a great white shark. And yet, she is renewed. Born again, into a stronger creature... to thrive... to grow... to overcome.
Okay, hit send. And it’s off… short and sweet and crazy, but Samantha is going to love it. She’ll eat up the ending too, I know it. Who’d have thought that the dolphin would die? But the truth is that we all die someday and then heaven awaits. So, for now this dolphin is going to die. But, in an upbeat way. She’s gonna be so pumped that I’m done with it. Yes. Thank you God! Finally. Okay, now, I’m off to my new folder titled “Book.” So pathetic though. The “Simon Says” thing isn’t working for me yet. Still gonna keep my baby title-less. But that’s okay. All good writers hit roadblocks from time to time. I’ve just got to put mine into four-wheel-drive. Here goes. I’m just gonna write what comes to mind. For now, I’ll call it this:
“Hug the Grass”
The wind blew in a friendly fashion leaving its welcoming spring scent on my face. I could smell the delights of freshly mowed grass and the local barbeques in the area. I was thrilled to return home for dinner, though not quite sure of what I was going to make yet. My tummy grumbled since all I’d eaten was a small bowl of Cheerios for breakfast and a light salad with chopped walnuts and Bleu Cheese dressing for lunch.
“Simon says hug the grass. Simon says hop up and down like a monkey! Touch your belly button…” Grace called out to her brother.
“Mom, Jake touched his belly button, but I didn’t say Simon Says, so he’s out. Tell him, it’s my turn,” Grace shouted into my ear while I chatted with my mom on my cell.
“Hey Mom, how’s it going? Yeah, we just left the park. I’m gonna make quesadillas for dinner. I would’ve preferred tacos, but I forgot to set out some ground beef. What are you up to? Sorry, hold on Mom for just a second,” I said in a winded voice.
“Kids, I’m on the phone with Grammy, so please use your inside voices,” I patiently pleaded.
“Thanks Mom, I’m back. So you were about to say…”
“I just took Lexi out for a walk and had a thirty minute conversation with Dorothy. I’ll be taking her to her eye appointment tomorrow in the city, so that means we’ll have to leave at seven since it takes us about fifty-five minutes to get to that part of town. There’s no traffic for the thirty minutes of winding desert roads out of Borrego Springs, but once we hit the highway, then you never know.”
“Well, I’m glad you’ve been out walking Lexi. She’s such a sweet puppy. And, that’s great that you’re helping Dorothy out. I bet she’s so lonely since her husband died. She seems really strong, like she’s going to pull through this.”
“She is really tough, so I’m sure she’ll be okay. But it’s hard to know how to help. I know I can only pray for her and try to be her friend,” she said in a tender voice.
“You’re doing a great job just by being her friend, Mom. Hey, if you feel like driving up after her appointment, you could swing by for an early dinner with us. You could even spend the night. I just bought some organic French Roast coffee that you’d love and we could make some cranberry scones in the morning.”
“Well, I’m way behind in our book-keeping, so I’ll have to postpone our next visit. Jack has been working so hard at the business and I hate to leave him alone,” she commented with concern.
“No worries Mom. I just miss you and hope we can hang out sometime soon. We just got home and I have to unload the munchkins. Can we chat tomorrow?” I pleaded.
“No problem Honey. I love you so much. Just give those kids a hug and a kiss from their Grammy. And tell them I love them,” she requested in a calm manner.
“Sure thing Mom. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Thanks for calling.”
I hung up the phone. And five minutes later, we arrived at our house and the chaos of the dinnertime hour kicked in with a fury. The dogs begged for their food. Jake and Grace argued about the Wii controllers while Katie changed out of her Snow White outfit and into her Cinderella dress.
Labels: excerpt #7, Stream of Consciousness
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Excerpt #6, page 35/36, Stream of Consciousness
“Did you hear me mention how we both liked to play black-jack and how we used to ski together up at the lodge during the holidays? You seem a little bit distracted you know…” Jadan said with a concerned look.
“Oh, sorry. I am a bit distracted. But I totally do want to hear about your dad. I’m sorry to seem disinterested because I’m totally not. I just want to figure out a way to catch up with Jen and to finish this article sometime today,” I said in a stressed out tone.
“Seriously, no problem. I totally understand and… the truth is… even I want you to finish that damn article so you can start on your book. That’s what I can’t wait to read. It’s cool having an author as a friend. Maybe you’ll be famous someday and I can say that I know you,” he chuckled in a friendly manner.
“Oh sure, mock me why don’t you.”
“No, I can tell that you are the type who’s going to make it Renee, for sure,” he consoled.
“Well thank you Jadan. I’m gonna find a spot to park my stuff,” I told him.
“Hey, this spot’s open, right here next to me if you want it,” he motioned with his hand while moving some of his stuff out of the way.
“Okay, this does look pretty cozy, but I’m gonna wear my earphones so I don’t get too distracted sitting next to you. I do actually have to get some work done.”
“No, we’re cool. I’m gonna wear mine too. ACDC has been paused for way too long,” he sighed.
“Nice. I bet that’s totally calming while you roll the numbers in your head while offering your faithful clients such abundant monetary wisdom,” I joked while setting down my laptop and my drink.
I looked up and caught eyes with Jen. She smiled over at me and motioned like she’d be over in just a second. Jadan already had his tunes going and I had started mine as well. I turned on my laptop and tried to settle down so my mind could get to work. But there was no way I could get anything done until I’d chatted with Jen for a few minutes. Maybe if I got up to use the restroom she’d come over to meet me there. It was worth a shot.
I got up and scooted to the restroom. And I was right. Right after I did my business and opened the door, Jen was there waiting for me with a hug and an apology. We totally chatted and made up in less than three minutes. We were best friends again and I felt so relieved. I could finally get my article finished. The dolphin essay had to come to an end. Plus all that postmodern crap was starting to irritate me. I just wanted to get my check for the piece and move on to my own book, check or no check. My editor’s word was good enough for now. If I could get a few chapters done, she’d look it over and let me know if they could back it for the coming year or not.
“Oh, sorry. I am a bit distracted. But I totally do want to hear about your dad. I’m sorry to seem disinterested because I’m totally not. I just want to figure out a way to catch up with Jen and to finish this article sometime today,” I said in a stressed out tone.
“Seriously, no problem. I totally understand and… the truth is… even I want you to finish that damn article so you can start on your book. That’s what I can’t wait to read. It’s cool having an author as a friend. Maybe you’ll be famous someday and I can say that I know you,” he chuckled in a friendly manner.
“Oh sure, mock me why don’t you.”
“No, I can tell that you are the type who’s going to make it Renee, for sure,” he consoled.
“Well thank you Jadan. I’m gonna find a spot to park my stuff,” I told him.
“Hey, this spot’s open, right here next to me if you want it,” he motioned with his hand while moving some of his stuff out of the way.
“Okay, this does look pretty cozy, but I’m gonna wear my earphones so I don’t get too distracted sitting next to you. I do actually have to get some work done.”
“No, we’re cool. I’m gonna wear mine too. ACDC has been paused for way too long,” he sighed.
“Nice. I bet that’s totally calming while you roll the numbers in your head while offering your faithful clients such abundant monetary wisdom,” I joked while setting down my laptop and my drink.
I looked up and caught eyes with Jen. She smiled over at me and motioned like she’d be over in just a second. Jadan already had his tunes going and I had started mine as well. I turned on my laptop and tried to settle down so my mind could get to work. But there was no way I could get anything done until I’d chatted with Jen for a few minutes. Maybe if I got up to use the restroom she’d come over to meet me there. It was worth a shot.
I got up and scooted to the restroom. And I was right. Right after I did my business and opened the door, Jen was there waiting for me with a hug and an apology. We totally chatted and made up in less than three minutes. We were best friends again and I felt so relieved. I could finally get my article finished. The dolphin essay had to come to an end. Plus all that postmodern crap was starting to irritate me. I just wanted to get my check for the piece and move on to my own book, check or no check. My editor’s word was good enough for now. If I could get a few chapters done, she’d look it over and let me know if they could back it for the coming year or not.
Labels: book, Stream of Consciousness
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
God wins in the end
Sometimes life feels so cruel and unfair. Injustice blasts itself across so many broken hearts. And it seems like evil wins in the end. And while I won't share my particular anecdote here, I'm sure you can relate with some story of your own.
The details likely produce tears or anger. Your heart isn't sure why it can't heal because the thing, whatever that thing happens to be for each one of us, is just too damn big.
But, here to give us a little bit of perspective and some hope as well is King David. It's been hard for me to pray lately and to crack open my Bible because I've fallen back into a hole of depression.
But, somehow God's spirit inched its way through the scars and encouraged me to open up to Psalm 34 instead of a chapter of Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice (which always makes me feel better).
So here goes with some truth and encouragement. As you read these verses, I want you to pay attention to the verbs that are used and we'll chat about them in a bit. What you need to know right away is that it's okay to cry out to God and also that God will work out all the details of the crap that you are going through.
"17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. 18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
The next two verses reiterate the previous point, about God helping you through the tough times. They also go on to talk about how He protects you as well. Check it out!
"19 A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; 20 he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken."
And then I love how the Psalm ends with such truth and assurance. It's this awesome reminder that evil doesn't actually win in the end. This is such a powerful point to cling to when you seem to notice the bad stuff triumphing wherever you go. But it's not the way it plays out in God's book.
"21 Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned. 22 The Lord redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him."
So here are the main verbs from the passage: cry, hears, delivers, is (close), saves, protects, slay, be (condemned), redeems, and takes (refuge). The first and last verbs deal with the Believer. She cries out to God and takes refuge in the Lord.
But the other action words have to do with God's response. God hears, delivers, is close, saves, and protects his followers. And this is what he does to the evildoer: He slays and condemns him.
It's important for the Believer to remember HER own role through the storms. Remember what the Psalmist said? You must cry out to God!!! Especially when you feel like God does not care! Especially when you feel like He has abandoned you! Especially when you long for God to step in right that very second, but He remains silent!
Dear Believer, King David also reminds us to take REFUGE in the Lord! Feelings of condemnation will enter into your mind, but then you need to run to the Father. Remember that God gets the final word. He holds you even when you can't see Him! And He judges those who have harmed you.
The details likely produce tears or anger. Your heart isn't sure why it can't heal because the thing, whatever that thing happens to be for each one of us, is just too damn big.
But, here to give us a little bit of perspective and some hope as well is King David. It's been hard for me to pray lately and to crack open my Bible because I've fallen back into a hole of depression.
But, somehow God's spirit inched its way through the scars and encouraged me to open up to Psalm 34 instead of a chapter of Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice (which always makes me feel better).
So here goes with some truth and encouragement. As you read these verses, I want you to pay attention to the verbs that are used and we'll chat about them in a bit. What you need to know right away is that it's okay to cry out to God and also that God will work out all the details of the crap that you are going through.
"17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. 18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
The next two verses reiterate the previous point, about God helping you through the tough times. They also go on to talk about how He protects you as well. Check it out!
"19 A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; 20 he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken."
And then I love how the Psalm ends with such truth and assurance. It's this awesome reminder that evil doesn't actually win in the end. This is such a powerful point to cling to when you seem to notice the bad stuff triumphing wherever you go. But it's not the way it plays out in God's book.
"21 Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned. 22 The Lord redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him."
So here are the main verbs from the passage: cry, hears, delivers, is (close), saves, protects, slay, be (condemned), redeems, and takes (refuge). The first and last verbs deal with the Believer. She cries out to God and takes refuge in the Lord.
But the other action words have to do with God's response. God hears, delivers, is close, saves, and protects his followers. And this is what he does to the evildoer: He slays and condemns him.
It's important for the Believer to remember HER own role through the storms. Remember what the Psalmist said? You must cry out to God!!! Especially when you feel like God does not care! Especially when you feel like He has abandoned you! Especially when you long for God to step in right that very second, but He remains silent!
Dear Believer, King David also reminds us to take REFUGE in the Lord! Feelings of condemnation will enter into your mind, but then you need to run to the Father. Remember that God gets the final word. He holds you even when you can't see Him! And He judges those who have harmed you.
Labels: anger, Bible, depression, Psalm 34
