Mariposa Kisses (aka Dianne's Blog)

The words majestic and intoxicating come to mind when I reflect upon my most recent dream vacation. With three small kids, you might assume it would have been less than perfect, but it wasn't. Every day spent in paradise was like being pasted into the pictures of a vacation brochure.

The flight to Maui was idyllic and relaxing since each of the kids had a generous supply of coloring books, card-games, and snacks. I hardly heard a peep out of them as I read my neglected copy of Stephanie Meyer's Breaking Dawn. Meanwhile, my husband oscillated between some peaceful shut-eye and the occasional perusal of Andrew Doughty's Maui Revealed: The Ultimate Guidebook.

Upon landing, we all sipped our favorite Starbucks beverages and enjoyed the refreshing coastal breeze from the airy exterior of the Maui airport. We instantly soaked in the blissful feelings of paradise and relaxation as we awaited our Ford Flex rental car. Shortly thereafter, we were off and coasting. Our eyes were pleasantly overwhelmed, as we took in the vivid shades of green along the island's mountainous coastline. Our cameras could hardly keep up with the ocean's vast array of dazzling blues.

On the first day alone, we para-sailed, kayaked, and snorkeled. Our children met up with three large and friendly turtles that they later named Oscar, Tuck, and Greeny. Over the next few days, we hiked, sun-bathed, and built our fair share of magical sand castles. It wasn't about which shoes to wear, but rather about which beach to walk upon barefoot.

The Four Seasons Maui Resort at Wailea enchanted us with its refreshing pools, its scrumptious fine-dining options, and its glamorous spa. To help recover from the slightest tinge of jet lag, I enjoyed their recommended signature massage called the "Mele Wailea" which means "the song of Wailea". This particular treatment claims to "...capture the rhythm of the island." It certainly did that for me.

Each of our twelve uninterrupted and lazy mornings at the Four Seasons greeted us with majestic ocean views from our third floor balcony. We truly felt we had stepped into paradise. A reporter from the Seattle Times Express commented on the resort's grandeur, stating, "...I highly recommend staying at the Four Seasons Resort Maui at Wailea...I was lucky enough to stay there for two nights and can attest to its magnificence".

The seafood served on the island was fresh and uniquely dressed with a plethora of sauces while complemented with a delectable array of fruity side dishes. The strawberry daiquiris were dangerously good, as were the beautiful sunsets. The intoxicating power of the island made us want to serendipitously sell our house and move to Maui, so we could savor every last one of our god-given breaths upon its volcanic-rich soil.

Did I mention that we brought a sitter with us? The kids had a blast watching videos and playing games with their favorite parent substitute. And we actually had time for each other during the warm breezy evenings. Our favorite night-time endeavor was simply to stroll along the moonlit beaches. Likewise, we enjoyed numerous luaus at various resorts, which included lively music and dancing.

By the end of our dream vacation, we had absorbed an excess of vitamin D. We had also gained about five pounds each from all of the scrumptious foods we had consumed. We weren't quite ready to say goodbye to this celestial island that had temporarily robbed us of our cares and worries.

But, even the best dreams must come to an end. This one was exceptionally hard to wake up from because the images had all been so real. I could even feel the ocean's spray upon my face, which I soon realized to be my dog's gentle licks greeting me into a new day in the sizzling heat of the Inland Empire.

My upcoming vacation could never be quite as glamorous as this "Dream Vacation". But, it will be packed with the most important details of all: my loving husband and my three precious children. The truth is that we could go away to an island retreat or just stay at home as long as we're together. The most tangible and valuable aspects of my dream are true and I'm thankful that I get to wake up to them each and every day.

Labels: dream vacations, family, moms

We all possess a variety of idiosyncrasies. We think of them as quirks, inconveniences, or oddities that we’d rather do without. And yet, there is something about our differences that makes us uniquely who we are. Sometimes, we wear these traits of divergence on the outside where they are most obvious to the world; however, at times, they go unseen, as they are worn on the inside. Whichever eccentricity you wear, it is yours, as is that orange patterned shirt hanging in your closet, the one you just can’t get rid of no matter how hard you try.

Internal and external differences can cause discomfort, as we would prefer to match the symmetry of normalcy. And yet, would we be who we are if these foibles disappeared? For your friend, it might be an issue of weight, either too gangly or too stout. For a relative, it could be a disfigurement or a birthmark, something that makes him or her stand out. Perhaps for a co-worker, it is her hair that never quite does the right thing, or her complexion that is non-compliant. Sometimes, it's a less obvious weakness of sorts, such as a speech or hearing impediment.

Maybe your foible is on the inside. Perhaps you long to let go of some addiction that goes unnoticed by anyone besides yourself, or a thought that deeply entangles your mind. Do you obsess over things that others readily dismiss? It's possible that your idiosyncrasy is an addiction to control, to fear, or to busyness.

It might feel that your difference is so remarkable that no-one could possibly relate to your feelings of defeat. However, in reality, we are all flawed; we all contain some sort of imperfection. It might seem that Mrs. Brady down the street has it all together, with no flaws or shortcomings, but hers are actually just hidden up her sleeve.

Though we frequently turn to magazine gurus and television icons, they are the wrong places to turn to for accurate sources of self-worth. Sometimes, it is tempting to compare yourself to someone without the same peculiarity, who perhaps looks or acts “better” than you do, but it is likewise the wrong object of reflection.

The true source for proper personal identity is the Bible. Though I frequently forget to turn there first, when I do, I am adequately and lovingly reminded of who the Lord says I am. David prays out to God in Psalm 139: 13-16, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body…”.

Even when you are feeling frightfully disheartened, you can contemplate the majesty that you are not a mistake because you were seen and formed by God himself in your mother’s womb. Think over how you were wonderfully and fearfully made and your idiosyncrasy seems less cumbersome.

Satan will keep throwing lies at you to discourage your spirit, but remember that “…the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world” (1John 4:4). Likewise, it is wise to remember that you can “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7).

For some of us, our idiosyncrasy might wane or retreat altogether. Today, there are many corrective options for our physical flaws or disparities; and yet, is surgery really the best choice? Maybe we shouldn't change our physical images to align ourselves more closely to that of the world.

Physical health should be a prime objective. For example, being physically fit honors the Lord because it is an act of caring for the body that He has given you, which is a gift. Paul says in Romans 12:1, “…offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.” So clearly, keeping our bodies in good shape is something that pleases God.

However, if we make our outward appearance our primary goal for the purpose of looking good rather than being healthy, it seems that we are missing the point. For instance, the next verse in Romans 12 says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This matter is between each of us and the Lord to decide which flaws are to remain and which ones are to be refurbished. Ultimately, we must come to terms with who we are in Christ and trust Him for our self-worth and value.

For those blemishes that are internal, we can seek terrific professional counsel, but even then, it is important to remember that God is our ultimate Counselor. Isaiah 9:6 foreshadows Christ’s coming and says, “…And he will be called Wonderful Counselor…”. We should turn to Him for encouragement and counsel.

Likewise, it is comforting to know that God will bring us to total completion once we are in heaven with HIM. Praise the Lord that he is not done with us yet, but that “…he who began a good work in (us) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).

Labels: encouragement, idiosyncrasies

During times of drought and water crisis in the state of California, now is the best time to teach our kids about conservation. Here are ten practical and cost-effective water saving measures.

First, kids can use the leftover drinking water from bottles or cups to feed indoor or outdoor plants or trees. This might seem ineffectual; however, it will train kids to conserve all sources of water rather than wasting them. You can make this fun by placing a new plant in a neglected flower pot; kids can even paint the pot in radiant summer strokes beforehand. Show kids that gardening is fun while educating them about smart water management.

Secondly, discuss a plan of cooking double-portioned meals so that your pans will not have to be washed as frequently. Let your kids help you wash the pots after the meal to see firsthand the amount of water required for the task. Additionally, you can show your children smart ways to wash dishes by turning off the water while scrubbing the items with soap and by using environmentally friendly soaps which require less rinsing.

A third creative method for preserving our state's limited water supply is to wash dirty items over the grass so that the water can be recycled. For example, if you've recently returned from a trip to the beach and need to wash your sand toys, place them on the grass while you rinse. You can do this with dirty shoes and sticky coolers as well.

A fourth method of smart water use is evidenced by some after dinner fun, as the kids and your family dog run through the sprinklers together. As many of you know, watering restrictions have been implemented and many residents are only allowed to water on certain days of the week and at certain times of day to maximize the absorption of the water and to limit outdoor use. By letting your kids run through the sprinklers during allotted times, it will show them that it's okay to enjoy water responsibly. Conserving can be fun!

A fifth way to demonstrate our need to save water as a family is to limit the amount of time in the shower. Set a timer for five minutes or less and reward the kids and yourself for staying within that time frame. Also, if you're the type to leave the shower running to heat up while you're fitting in one more quick email, you need to limit its useless downfall to one or two minutes. Use it wisely so that there's enough water for everyone. If your family is able to keep their showers within the limit for the whole week, reward yourselves with a pint of chocolate fudge ice cream on Saturday.

A sixth and sensible option for saving water can be observed as easily as letting your kids wash their hands with sanitizing hand-washing solution or wipes rather than with water. This is something most moms and dads practice while on the go anyways, so now you can implement this at home as well.

A seventh way to save water is by using a colander in the kitchen when washing fruits and vegetables. In the past, I have been tempted to wash each piece under the running water; however, in dire times such as these, we have to make daily changes such as grouping what we wash into one container so that the faucet won't run as long.

An eighth way of preserving our water supply is to wash only clothes, towels, and sheets that are truly dirty. Sometimes out of habit, we throw clothes into the hamper when they aren't even dirty. Some towels used at the pool are perfectly fine for reuse the next day. If a shirt or pair of jeans has a small spot on them, use a wet cloth to clean the small area rather than throwing them into the washing machine, which saves you money on detergent as well. This can also be applied to dishes by reusing the same cup or bowl for the entire day rather than getting a new one for each beverage or dry snack.

A ninth way of saving water can be evidenced by making smart summer choices, like going to a park or public pool where they've already committed to running the water rather than using your own source at home. You should limit your own summer use of the slip and slide or other inflatable water slides; instead you could play with bubbles, water balloons, or water guns. If your mind wraps itself around this form of conservation, you will save more on most days.

The last way to save water is to jump back a bit to sixth grade camp. Remember the adage "If it's yellow, let it mellow"? This might sound really gross, but Flex Your Power's sobering research states that "The United States uses about 5.8 billion gallons of water every day to flush waste". Check out their website at http://www.fypower.org for additional ways to conserve water and to save money. Two additional websites supporting water conservation are: http://www.BeWaterWise.com and http:WaterUseItWisely.com.

Keep your kids excited about helping the environment and they will be well-prepared for a water friendly future. Try to remind your kids that every bit counts while simultaneously keeping your efforts inside of a fun context. Most kids will feel proud of their seemingly small efforts. Their changed mindsets will be the biggest gain of all, as a generation of water conserving children grows into the next generation of environmentally minded adults.

Labels: drought, kids, moms, water conservation

I felt relieved earlier today while spreading peanut butter onto a piece of toast. I was freaked out to see that the toaster oven was on fire, but was glad that I'd looked down when I did; the three inch flame that danced the Salsa was manageable. Thankfully, I was able to blow it out with relative ease, avoiding its attack on the rest of my kitchen.

A few minutes later, I was summoned by my six-year-old son to fish out the toilet paper holder from the poop-filled toilet in our downstairs bathroom. I'm not sure how he dropped it in the first place, but that's another topic. At least the toilet paper holder didn't get flushed down, which saved me a trip to Lowe's.

By the end of the month, we usually don't sit on an excess of cash, but at least we are able to pay all of our bills. Likewise, we have a generous amount of food decorating our fridge and cupboards, even if we are having eggs and pancakes for dinner towards the end. Additionally, our cars aren't in perfect shape, but I'm grateful that they're both running. The cup is half full because we always have enough to get by.

All in all, our family is blessed with good health as well, aside from some minor conditions such as our son's allergies and asthma. Likewise, my husband is plagued with a bad back and I'm unpleasantly hit with irritable bowel syndrome from time to time. But, primarily, we all check in with a clean bill of health. Things could always be worse.

Seeing the glass half full can be tricky at times. When someone is jobless, he pines for a new one right away, but maybe his glass is half full with a beautiful and loving family. In contrast, for the secure income-earner, it could be a recent divorce that plagues him with feelings of eternal loneliness.

When the glass is half full, it also means it's half empty. But, seeing the fullness of life is what helps you to have a good life. If you spend time worrying principally about what you don't have rather than contemplating your many blessings, you won't feel happy.

Eventually, the fire will get blown out. The treasure in the toilet will get fished out. The monetary needs will be met, even if it means you have to cut back elsewhere or downsize from previous luxuries. Your health might be less than perfect, but it is likely better than a lot of other people's. If you are jobless, you will eventually find something else or start your own business instead. If your singleness is making your glass half empty, you might make someone else's half full by reaching out to them.

If all else fails, put on some good jazz music and pour yourself half of a glass of Merlot or some full-bodied coffee. You can't go wrong with half a glass of either one of those.

Labels: family, happiness, moms

You know those days where you wish you could type "Control Z" and start all over? It would be nice if you could chalk up the failures as typos that the spell-checker would catch. But life isn't like that; unfortunately, our words and actions are not intimately aligned with a mastermind underlining them in red or green for spelling and grammatical accuracy. I wish that some of my mean words and less than perfect actions could be corrected as easily as a right click of the mouse.

As parents, we have to produce our best efforts and then move on. If we've said something to our kids that we'd like to take back, then we need to apologize and accept our humanness. Even though we can't erase the errors or misspellings from the previous day, we can move forward and aim to do better in the subsequent days and weeks.

Yesterday was a chaotic downward spiral of parenting failures and defeats. I wasn't void of numerous causes for feeling insane. In fact, many of my impatient and frustrated responses were fully merited, as all three kids had conspired against me. The day had the feel of a prolonged nightmare that just wouldn't end. It made me feel that this summer might be the longest one ever since we're just at the warm up stage of the first lap, here in the third week of June.

Starting in the morning, my middle child didn't get something she wanted and dramatically announced how she wanted to die and then responded by hiding inside of a pillow to punish me. Subsequently, after way too much effort just to get everyone fed and dressed, we were off to return a video and to drive through the car-wash. After three attempts, including two reversal maneuvers out of the car-washing tunnel and five minutes of my toddler's terrified howls, our mossy green mini-van was clean.

Five minutes later, we arrived at the park. Getting some fresh air seemed in order, so we stretched our limbs and sprinted toward the red and blue play-set. Quickly thereafter, two of my kids decided to run through the park's recently turned on sprinkler system while fully clothed, which was less than ideal because I hadn't brought their swimsuits or any towels.

After being soaked in recycled park water, my youngest covered herself in mud from several falls along the way of our grass-covered trail back to the car. As I thought about the possibility of any misplaced dry clothes being in the van, my soaking wet children ran at a cheetah-paced-sprint across the field toward the street while I yelled like a wild hyena trying to get them to stop. Thankfully our oldest caught up to his younger sisters and stopped them just short of the street.

With my luck, there were only extra sweaters and socks in the car, so we decided to head home. The library had to be postponed, as did any remnants of my sanity. Later in the day, the unending saga of chaos continued, as my middle daughter attempted to turn the stove on by herself. Thankfully, I noticed the mischievous act quickly and avoided methane gas poisoning.

In the early evening, we all ventured out for some more fresh air, where my dog flattened my daughter and subsequently almost got into a fight with an unruly pit-bull. That was really minor though compared to my dog pooping on the only lawn that had its residents out front and the embarrassment of my youngest daughter subsequently playing in the poop while I apologized to the neighbors. When my middle child started peeling bird poop off of a green city post up ahead, I started wondering why I'd thought going on a walk was such a brilliant idea in the first place.

You know those days when you think locking yourselves in for the day would have been preferable? This was one of those days. If only I'd had the vampire Jasper from the Twilight books there to calm me down with his uncanny ability to comfort.

After seemingly endless hours of my kids' whining and bickering, along with a series of disastrous messes, as if a desert sandstorm had attacked my house, we were ready for some dinner. To say the least, I was not about to add to the mountain sized pile of dishes in the sink, so I made an SOS call to Little Caesar's.

The calm before the storm, or does it come after the storm? Either way, I was longing for some peace, though it didn't seem to come until much later in the night. After a two hour attempt to get my wild children to bed, I finally collapsed onto the couch next to my loving husband, where I unloaded the horrors of the day.

"Sometimes you're the lemon and sometimes you're the lemonade. Sometimes you're the bug and sometimes you're the windshield." We've heard these adages before and they occasionally carry a weight of humor to them, but not when you're the lemon making the lemonade or the bug disgracefully decorating the windshield with your own guts.

Yesterday, I was the lemon and the bug. But, today is a new day. We must press on as parents realizing that our best is all that we can give. Parenting can feel like a blind aerospace mission to fly to the unknown discovering new planets and other forms of extra-terrestrial life. Unfortunately, as human parents, we don't get a map or an instruction manual; but, it's a good thing we come internally wired with an excessive amount of love and patience. We just have to take it one day at a time.

Labels: kids, moms, patience

Cats sleep, sleep, and then sleep some more. If you’re a cat-owner, then you know exactly what I mean. My cat Sage gets so relaxed that you’d seriously think he was dead. In fact, one day I did mistake him for dead while he was fast asleeeeeeeeep in my daughter’s crib. I was so convinced he was dead that I even started to get teary-eyed. I poked and prodded him hoping he would budge, but he didn’t. Eventually, he made a sharp motion that convinced me rigor mortis had kicked in. In actuality, he was just dead asleep.

In addition to my cat’s uncanny ability to sleep deeply for twenty three hours per day, my cat also snores like a bulldozer. You’ll be alone in the house and hear a noise that makes you think, “My gosh, someone’s in the house” and then you realize, “No, it’s just the cat snoring up a storm of thunderous Zs.”

Likewise, my cat has an excessive way of being affectionate, which is a nice term for "incredibly annoying". Don’t get me wrong, I looooooooooove cats, especially my cat. Nevertheless, when I sit down at my computer, I do actually desire to get something accomplished. My cat, however, does not understand this. Within seconds, I am attacked by his incessant plea to pet him while on top of the mouse pad or in front of the monitor. This is the same cat that jumps on the bed to lie on top of me or my husband the instant one of us gives evidence of wakefulness in the morning. This is particularly annoying when we are merely trying to change sides or get a sip of water but would like to retain our current REM cycle.

Another eccentricity about my cat is his need to paw on the doors as if he were an Olympic freestyle swimmer. It’s his way of communicating to us that he’d like to come in to the bathroom while we’re in there doing our business. Even when the door is adequately cracked open to our bedroom at night, Sage shuts the door on himself and then starts thrashing around as if he were being attacked by a Great White shark. Or, he does his swim workout while standing up four feet tall against our sliding glass doors to let us know he’d like to wander outside. At least this activity gets his blood pumping for a few minutes each day.

Now the hair is manageable, even though it covers the entire house, including most of our clothes and blankets. However, the hair that causes the puke-balls drives me to the edge of insanity. How can a few blades of grass cause our cat to vomit up all of his recently licked fur within seconds of re-entering the house? It’s absolutely mind-boggling and especially inconvenient when he manages to throw up on one tiny edge of our recently washed bedspread.

In all honesty, after caring for my three small kids every day, I have nothing left for the cat. Despite his extremely low status on the totem pole, he does his best to remind me that he was here even before the kids arrived. Even with his quirky disposition and his plethora of idiosyncrasies, I do love my cat.

He meows at me each morning to greet me into a new day, reminding me that I’m never alone. He lies in my kids’ beds keeping them nice and toasty throughout the day. And when I see him in his coma-like state of sleep, it occasionally inspires me to do the same. Even though he’s a pain in the you-know-what, he truly makes our house a home and will always be a valued member of our family.

Labels: cats, kids, moms

Sometimes it feels that your life has gone missing, like you’re one of those puppies on the mailboxes shouting out “Reward, $150”. You know your life is moving forward on the track, but you question whether or not you’re even aboard the train. The mortgage is slowly getting paid; the cars are mostly all running fine and most of your basic needs and wants are being met. You care for everyone else around you and somewhere in the midst of it all, you’ve gotten lost. If only there was a reward poster somewhere so you could be found.

In spite of your best efforts to juggle it all, it can feel like you're getting a busy signal or an out-of-the-office auto email response. As moms, our lives have been put on hold and we can't seem to reconcile the fact that another decade has just flown by. Most moms can relate to the automated operator who plays that annoying music after giving you twelve prompts to choose from in five different languages. Before you know it, you’ve been waiting for twenty-five minutes before you finally realize you’ve chosen the wrong prompt. It’s not that you planned on putting your life on hold in so many ways; it just sort of happened. Here are three ways that moms feel their lives have been temporarily suspended.

First, moms lose a sense of their calendars. It seems unbelievable that school starts at the same time every year and before you know it, you're attending the end-of-the-year luau party. Included in this super-speed time warp is the involuntary donation of your own personal schedule. This includes a variety of activities from taxi-cabbing the kids all over town, to working, to cleaning, to grocery shopping, etc. You may not remember what it feels like to get a cup of fresh brew with a clean crisp newspaper in hand because your schedule no longer includes time for that.

Secondly, your life feels like someone hit the pause button with regards to your personal privacy. You feel like you’ll get it back someday, but are not sure when that day will come. I thought it sounded funny when other moms would talk about how they couldn't even go to the bathroom by themselves anymore. Now that I have three kids, I totally understand that they weren’t joking. Then, there's the family bed when the little ones run in with nightmares, hunger pains, a bloody nose, a request for help on the potty or a plethora of other excuses. Taking a shower becomes a limited luxury as well. The kids become militaristic drill sergeants demanding that your shower be just long enough to lather and rinse. Meanwhile, someone is hitting so-and-so or the television got jammed and isn't working anymore. And you're not quite sure when you're going to be able to hit play again for your own private moments.

The third way that life feels a bit modified from the pre-kid era is evidenced by the loss of your own outrageous and unrealistic dreams. Wanting to attend culinary school, to be in a band, or the goal of running a marathon can all get pushed to the sidelines. Now you're all about altruistically supporting the children’s aspirations and dreams. Is there really any way you could ever fit in a French class or a fancy trip to Paris just for yourself? What about that dream to write a book or to start your own business? In between helping the kids with art projects and packing lunches and snacks for the day's outings, it seems there really isn’t any time for your own dreamy objectives.

The amazing thing about moms is that despite these seemingly large losses, we see them as huge gains. Our crazy little thieves of space and time are the most valuable people in our lives, so we press on and stay the course even when quitting can seem like the easiest response. Instead of being angry and hostile at what we've given up, we plan more meals and give more hugs. We buy more Band-Aids and more chocolate milk. We're honorable and respectful members of society, even though our jobs are really hard and underappreciated. Remember that after a life of loving service to our kids, the payoff will be huge. One day in the not too distant future, our kids will be taking care of us.

Children often feel entitled to a life of privileges. As parents of school-aged
children, it is important that we instill in them a healthy concept of limited rights. Even though we try to teach our six-year-old son that the kid’s meal is a special treat, he feels he deserves the toy every time we eat out. Similarly, our four-year-old daughter believes that she should get a sweet treat from the candy aisle every time we check out at the grocery store.

We have to start out by curbing our own lavish appetites for our children. As parents, we want to shower them with every luxury: the perfect party, the idyllic vacation, and the newest model of every toy. Even though our intentions are good, if we don’t restrain ourselves, then our kids will model these unbridled hungers in their own lives. By modeling self-controlled appetites, we prepare them for real life and help them to develop good hearts and attitudes.

If our kids see us as altruistic genies, granting every wish they express, then they will eventually become untamed and spoiled. Restraint is the loving response to our children’s tenacious requests, even though this does not come naturally.

Labels: Entitlement, kids, moms

Sometimes it feels that God is on a long coffee break. You know He's there. You pray to Him for your needs and wants. You even thank Him for your blessings and you apologize for the wrongdoings in your life. In spite of these efforts, it can feel like you're getting a busy signal or an out-of-the-office auto response. As believers, is there a way to reconcile God's omnipresence with the void of hearing His voice?

Someone who could definitely relate to feeling that God was on a break was Job. Can you imagine the tragedy that he went through? First, he loses all of his children from various incidents. The soldiers weren't enough to take them all out simultaneously, so the house falls down on the others while they're having a party. As if this atrocity weren't enough, Job's farms are destroyed and his corporate life collapses. Well, at least he had his health, right, for a few more days? But, even that takes a tumultuous downturn and eventually, he becomes so sick that his wife tells him to curse God and to die.

Job decides to keep pressing on, but at least he's still got a few friends left, right? Not! Even his friends abandon him and accuse him of being a terrible person because they can't come up with a better reason to justify his horrific losses. Going on at this point would seem close to impossible. No kids, no job, poor health, no friends. I'm surprised Job didn't consider killing himself. It would have been an easy way to end his pathetic life. Have you ever felt that giving up would simply be the best response? Even ending your own life might seem easier than staying the course?

That's not how Job responded. Instead of being angry and hostile, Job responded honorably and respectfully. He was a faithful Jewish man, who walked the talk that he promoted throughout his lifetime. Just because his life went to hell did not mean that he was going to curse His God who seemed to be daydreaming on an extended vacation.

We get to thinking that this life is all about our expectations being met and not about the agenda that God has for deepening our spiritual lives. We see things in terms of being happy, healthy, and financially secure. When sickness enters the picture or the loss of a loved one, we frequently punch our fists into the air at a seemingly invisible God. Even atheists become theists when things go badly enough, blaming the ominous spirit who doesn't really exist. But, where do we get the right to blame God for misfortune and strife? Is He only our friend when life is good?

I am reminded of the Footprints poem where the person walking along the beach realizes she has not actually been alone during her struggle-filled journey. Upon seeing only one set of footprints, her immediate assumption was that God was absent, gone on a coffee break. She was alone. But, by the end of the poem, God breaks through the chaos and reminds her that He was there the whole time, carrying her in His loving arms. That's why she didn't see two sets of footprints.

If you're going through a time of doubt, loneliness, or tremendous suffering, I hope that you are reminded that God loves you and that His coffee break may be shorter than you think. He might even be in line for two cappuccinos while you're waiting for them to call out your name.

Labels: coffee break, faith, God

We take so many simple blessings for granted by focusing on what we do not have or on the struggles that entangle us. Instead, we should spend our energy on the strengths we possess or on the joys that fill our days. Many people take their faithful spouse or their healthy children for granted because they're around them every day. Likewise, it is easy to grow indifferent about our basic provisions, such as a shelter over our heads or three filling meals per day.

In addition to the aforementioned blessings, I am incredibly grateful for my five senses. These may be the most thankless amenities of all, as most of us have enjoyed them for our entire lives. But imagine if you didn’t have them and how different your life would be. I cherish the smell of my children as I kiss their heads after a hot bath, or the smell of garden fresh roses or basil leaves. I couldn't imagine trading in my ability to smell my favorite scented perfumes and lotions or the peaceful ocean breeze.

What about the gift of hearing? Can you imagine all the great music you would miss out on if you could not hear? I would especially miss energetic rock music and the gentle sound of my kids’ laughter. Birds’ chirping would be a mere memory, as would the sound of running water in a rural creek-bed or raindrops hitting against my bedroom windows. Likewise, I would long for the sound of the wind blowing through the trees and for my husband’s calming voice as he occasionally reads to me before bed.

To see is such a treasure as well. I can’t imagine missing out on my kids' vast range of facial expressions. Each new day, I stare into my middle daughter's eyes telling her that they look even more blue than the previous day. Likewise, I love looking into my son’s handsome eyes, knowing we’re connecting when I tell him, “I love you”. I can’t fathom the loss of being able to breathe in a beautiful sunset at the beach as the oranges and pinks swirl together like an impressionistic masterpiece. Seeing the beauty all around us is so easily taken for granted. We can pass by a beautiful cloud on a walk and think nothing of it. Without our sense of sight, vivacious colors would be mere memories and darkness and varying shades of light would become the norm.

The sense of taste is one of my favorites, especially with all of the scrumptious cookouts approaching with summer break upon us. The long summer days make rich ice cream sundaes even sweeter than normal. It would be tragic to give up even the simplest of foods, such as a fresh piece of sourdough toast with warm butter melted on top and a hot cup of coffee with vanilla creamer. Likewise, the soothing flavors of fresh summer fruits, such as strawberries, melons, and oranges would be lost. Additionally, I would pine for one more taste of my husband’s sweet kiss or one more drop from a romantic glass of Merlot.

The gift of touch is marvelous. Can you imagine not being able to feel the soft covering of your blanket on you at night? I am also appreciative of my husband’s soft touch as we hold hands. Furthermore, during each of my pregnancies, I was thrilled to feel my child's movement inside of me, as a reminder of the miracle growing within. Without my sense of touch, I would even miss petting my tenaciously irritating cat and my attention deprived dog.

Some days, I marvel at these luxuries with a proper perspective of thankfulness and awe. However, most days these precious gifts go unappreciated. It is my goal to become more thankful for the blessings in my life. Remember to appreciate your family, friends, and your most basic daily provisions. You're truly lucky to be alive today! You're even more blessed if you can smell, see, hear, taste, and feel the world around you.

Musical instruction is an integral part of parenting. You might assume that music is mainly transferred to our kids in a formal setting, such as during violin or guitar lessons. However, our kids pick up a vast number of vocal and instrumental influences throughout the day just by listening to the radio or the television. In addition to those effortless mediums, here are four additional ways of getting your kids excited about music.

First, you should take advantage of free or cheap musical performances in your area. My family has enjoyed spending time at the Riverside Plaza, where there are a variety of bands playing on a weekly basis next to the movie theater. We hung out there recently with some friends and had a blast getting to watch the kids dance to some very entertaining rock music.

Additionally, you can check your city's website for listings of upcoming free or inexpensive concerts. For a low cost musical sensation this weekend, check out the host of bands to play at the Beaumont Cherry Festival. The cost for adults is $5 and kids ages 6-11 are only $2. Kids five and under are free. You can check out their website for more information at www.ci.beaumont.ca.us.

A second great way to influence your kids musically is to play a variety of entertaining tunes right there at home. The key is to have fun! Mix it up a little with some elaborate twirls and dance movements as well. If your kids see that music reflects a positive environment, they will be drawn to it. Furthermore, by playing a good variety, your kids will observe musical diversity. In the morning, you might play some energetic rock music to get everyone's blood pumping. Later in the day, while the kids are coloring or reading, you might play some classical music to slow things down a bit. During dinnertime, I love putting on 94.7, The Wave, which is my favorite jazz station.

The third and most traditional approach is observed via formal music lessons, either of a specific instrument or vocally. One way to cut costs with this option is to search your social network for another parent who could trade their musical teaching abilities for something else, such as your language or math skills. Furthermore, you could inquire of a friend's older child who is musically proficient from previous lessons or band exposure at school. They would likely be willing to teach your child for less than a professionally trained individual. If money is not an issue, a variety of private or group lessons should be available locally.

A fourth option is to host a music party at your house. Each friend could bring his or her favorite music selection and you could take turns playing the different pieces. Likewise, each person could bring his or her favorite kid friendly instrument (Little Tykes are great), such as a guitar, the flute, or the bongos. If you belong to a church or a musical organization, you might ask the music leader if he or she could make a surprise visit to your get-together to discuss and even play a few of the instruments. You might even give the moms and dads a turn to sing a few tunes for the kids. Karaoke anyone?

Enlightening your child with a passion for music at an early age will set the stage for a greater appreciation as a young adult. It may influence his or her future hobbies and extracurricular activities throughout the high school and college years as well. Once you play an instrument or choose music for your listening pleasure, the choices are limitless, especially given the variety of musical websites available. For listening to inexpensive music, you can download songs from i-tunes and for pulling free sheet music for your specific instrument, go to 8notes.com.

Labels: kids, music, parents

It's time to say "Cheese" and show off those pearly whites. It's not for a photo shoot or for a special family occasion. The admonition is simply to show someone a friendly smile and your beautiful eyes because it means you're alive. It also signifies that you care, even about the strangers you co-exist with. It's astonishing how few people show their smiles or any other kind of facial expression while interacting with passersby. Rather than a welcoming impression of friendliness, people express a sullen monk's facials or the look of a fearful lamb about to be devoured.

Sometimes, it's hard to smile at others, like when you're driving while trying to stay in your own lane as fellow racers sprint their final lap of the Indy500. Likewise, it's somewhat challenging to show full eye-contact while jogging through the neighborhood, as sweat beads blur your vision. In general though, it's as if the world around us wants to display a zombie-like lack of emotion in a self-protective attempt to preserve anonymity. No smiles, no teeth showing, no sense of sharing a piece of your own humanity.

Why is it that most people have to be an acquaintance before you can smile and locate their sky blues or their minty greens? Have we become so distant in our communities that we can't even look a stranger in the eyes? As Americans, we typify a friendly and outgoing people-group; however, we choose solitude and self-deprivation over visual self-expression to random onlookers. While we are outgoing, we are not very trusting. Once we know someone, we instantly enlighten them with our whole life story, but until that opening line, we remain like a closed book.

The way to overcome this social timidity is to open yourself up first. Let the world see that you are a colorful gerbera daisy. Show them that you are trustworthy by your inviting facial expression and your overly-exercised and confident smile. Don't make them wait to find that out until they know your name, social security number, and your kids' birth order. Instead, let your presence reflect a welcoming aura.

The truth is that people are generally very friendly. I tried this as an experiment recently. I myself usually keep my expression to myself, kind of guarded like a military watch-person; however, at my step class this week, I tried making specific eye contact with a few people while smiling really big. Guess what happened? They smiled back and made focused eye contact with me as well. I've gone out of my way to make verbal contact with strangers as well and for the most part, people have responded back to me with energy and enthusiasm.

As moms, we are especially in need of adult interaction and encouragement. For those of us who stay at home with our kids, our days' activities range from reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to filling the crock pot with hamburger and veggies, to checking our email and blogs five billion times per day. Though our lives are full of immeasurable value, the monotonous routine can be kind of lonely.

Even for those who fulfill a traditional work-day, it's so important that we moms take opportunities to share our smiles and our eyes with others. Sometimes, a simple smile or generous expression is all you need to feel like you made a difference in someone else's day. Your friendly existence shows another parent that you relate to her struggles, joys, and triumphs. Likewise, it allows a fellow human being to reciprocate love and concern back to you as well. Instead of being impersonal, it's time to show off that new midnight black mascara and frilly pink lipstick; why not, when it's so easy to do?

Each eclectic mug we sip our coffee or tea from has a story to tell. If mugs could talk, we would hear such amazing tales of old. Some mugs reflect such poignant memories from the past. Do you remember the time I sat with Billy over that cup of English tea? It was a beautiful ceramic one decorated with pansies, chrysanthemums, and light pink ivy geraniums. Oh, what a conversation that was, and the tea was delightful with just the right amount of honey in it. I didn’t really know much about the War until I sat next to her on that rainy afternoon.

It was quite amazing really. Her husband flew a mail carrier over the Himalayas and his plane engine went out during one of his flights. The plane soared down for thousands of feet, like a great eagle with its wings clipped. And all of a sudden, as if an angel from heaven intervened, the plane’s engine kicked in, and her husband, Cub, was alright. It makes no sense, why that memory means so much to me, given that I wasn't even born yet when that event took place. Somehow when she told that story, I felt like I was there, a part of that audacious dive into death's cold grip. What a comeback to spring into life once again, to have a second chance. Would you like a refill on your coffee? Sorry Mom, it's still brewing, it'll be just a few more minutes.

That reminds me of my red and pink poinsettia mug. Do you know which one I’m talking about Mother, the faded one with the permanent coffee stain around the top? Do you remember the time you brought me some fresh squeezed orange juice in that mug because we were all out of glasses in the cupboard? Well, it was reasonable given that my third had just been born. Oh, she was so tiny and it was such a special time for you to be there helping out. That orange juice really hit the spot.

My body and spirit were so tired, even too tired to sleep; my mind was stirring with a whirlwind of thoughts and my body ached throughout. You helped me so much during that visit. I’ll never forget the laundry you folded; oh, weren’t their little socks so tiny? The home-cooked meals were scrumptious and you even got outside and picked some fresh apricots off of our tree. I’ll never forget how you read to our other two kids and how you made them feel so valued during the transition of yet another little one in the house. You gave your time and your physical energy, but you also just listened to my joys and concerns. I’ll never forget that wonderful glass of hand-squeezed orange juice, in my faded floral mug of all places. I never would have thought of adding a squeeze of lime to it. It was delicious.

Oh and then, there’s my chipped and faded Santa mug, the one with the big fluffy beard and the jovial smile. Remember our first childhood Christmas away from home, how we flew up to Washington to visit Grandma and Grandpa for the holidays? It was so cold compared to sunny San Diego; the crisp air filled my lungs with alertness and vivacity. After Sissy and I got unpacked, we decided to go outside exploring. It was frightfully chilly, but with so much adventure on the horizon, the cold had to be momentarily dismissed.

After seeing several deer and some beautiful blue jays, we decided to head back to Grandma's humble home. Crackling was heard from the antique fireplace while their cat Fluffy was asleep on the arm of the blue corduroy sofa. Grandma saw us coming and before we could sit down, she put a cup of warm hot cocoa into each of our hands. She even included those miniature marshmallows, the multicolored ones that I still love. I’ll always cherish this Santa mug from Grandma. I really miss her Mom.

Wow, that smell is wonderful. It sounds like the coffee is done brewing, so I’m going to go and get myself a fresh cup. Would you like a refill in yours? Is this mug new? I’ve never seen one quite like this. This one belonged to Great Grandma Grace? It sounds like she was a pretty incredible lady. I’m not sure if I could have raised eight kids on my own, let alone in the Midwest before there was electricity and running water. Oh, tell me some more about her adventures when she was overseas with the Red Cross. I really like that one about how she met Great Grandpa Arnold. It’s so humorous, it doesn’t seem quite possible. Are you sure you’re not adding in a few creative details to make it sound more entertaining? Wait, don’t start until I’m back with the cream and sugar, I want to hear every word.

Labels: grandmas, moms, mugs