Mariposa Kisses (aka Dianne's Blog)

God's goodness is all around us. But, do we choose to see it? Sometimes, we focus on our problems and our insecurities, instead of delving into His ever-present promises.

This morning, I was driving our older Toyota sedan as I bumped into a few "friends" who made me feel less than totally acceptable. Maybe it was mostly my perception and not their actual thoughts. But, you know those people who look at you in a certain way, that makes you feel smaller than you really are?

When we feel less significant because our car isn't as nice as hers... or our outfit isn't as new or as cool as theirs, then it's time to rest in what we know to be true, deep down.

The fact is, that this life is short. At the speed at which we race towards death, we must live for bigger things than fashion and money. My spirit resonated with our pastor's recent challenge to, "... invest in things of true worth" (Pastor Matt from Sandals Church in October).

The simple truth about giving financially to our church means we may live with less material abundance than those who do not. If you give to your church as well, or to other charity organizations, then you can probably relate.

After writing that check out every month, you hit those final days before getting paid, and your mind can play tricks on you. You might think, "But, if I didn't give that much this month, then we could have gone out to dinner this week."

You might think of the money you've given over the years and wish you'd bought that new gaming system for the kids that everyone else already owns. Or your heart might pine for a new piece of jewelry or some shinier shoes. You might even dream bigger and wish you had bought that newer house instead of the one you currently reside in.

Perhaps you're dying to purchase some new flooring for your downstairs living space; or it could be that you long to landscape that dirt rectangle out in the backyard. Unfortunately, it seems like that extra check or bonus will never arrive.

When you feel this way, don't fret. That's what I did this morning with some silly tears during my prayer-time. While it wasn't a waste because our kind Father hears all of our complaints, the minutes were less wisely spent than they could have been.

Instead of moping over things that I "needed," I could have spent the time asking our King to powerfully move hearts in the African village where a missionary friend lives.

This morning, my thoughts got overcome by the temporary lies of the enemy, telling me that this world is all there is. But, we as Christians know this to be false. There's so much more that awaits us! Eternal hope and glory lie beyond this fleeting life.

So, let's invest in the things that concern our Lord. Let's not get stuck in the petty traps vying for our attention and money; these things only promise value and significance but tarnish and decay instead.

Remember these words from King David and find peace today: "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." (Psalm 139:13+14a).

You are good enough as you are, fellow Believer. You don't need a nicer wardrobe, a fancier car, or a palace to be more worthy. You are perfectly significant because God values you just as you are.

And remember too that He gives you everything that you truly need for today. Take heart from Jesus' words, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6:34).

Don't stress about the things that don't matter. Instead, pay attention to the issues that count for eternity, like who is going to ascend into heaven after they die. Instead of inconsequential concerns, try to focus on people's deeper needs due to an illness or an immense loss.

Make it your goal to value what God cares about and you'll find peace in the process! Share how God has helped your eyes to see things with an eternal perspective. We'd love to hear from you! :)

Labels: Believer, Christian, faith, women

As I was walking out the door to take my littlest one to gymnastics, I was struck by a thought-provoking observation. She was holding my over-sized purse and announced, "Mom, I can't carry it; it's too heavy." So, I responded, "Well, just set it down then." It hit me that as a mom, I often do the same thing; I inevitably take on more than I can carry.

At first glance, this might seem insignificant; but, for some of you, it really hits home. My daughter was trying to be sweet by helping me beyond her actual ability. And even though it was making her uncomfortable, she still wanted to lift my bag to show that she could.

As moms, we frequently say, "Sure, I can cut out those 150 cowboy paper hats for the preschool," even though we're getting buried amongst the plethora of laundry piles flooding our hallways. But, this means we don't have time for that workout at the gym.

We say, "Sure, I'll be team-mom for my son's baseball team," even though we have 100s of emails flooding our in-boxes and piles of dishes attacking our kitchen sinks. This simple "Sure..." adds tons of extra tasks to our weekly list: snacks, the team banner, snack-bar, the team party, and the achievement certificates, etc. The result is very little free-time for that overdue hair-cut or manicure!

In addition to cut-outs and team-mom duty, we volunteer once a week at the elementary school so we can show our kids that we care. It feels worthwhile because we get to interact with their friends and the teachers as well. But, when do we get to catch up on the grocery shopping or the checkbook?

Granted, it's rewarding to offer our skills, especially for those of us who work primarily out of the home. For instance, I really enjoy translating documents into Spanish for a teacher who needs to communicate with a Hispanic student's non-English-speaking parents. But, it is one more item on my list, which means I don't get to do that "something else" for myself.

When we do all of these altruistic acts in the names of love and charity, we end up depleted and totally stressed out. Well, some of us...the ones who aren't SUPER MOM! And maybe you never feel tired or strung out, but speaking for the collective "mom" community, I think most of us are running on fumes.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't commit to any of these great services; it would disappoint me to miss out on some of these amazing opportunities. But, we should prioritize by picking a few helpful projects, rather than trying to do them all at the same time.

Some people are really good at saying, "No...I'm just too busy." Others are too sweet and nice all the time; they feel an obligation to say "YES" to everything. So my advice, as on most things, is to FIND BALANCE. Agree to help with the most significant things and people; learn to turn down some of the other requests.

Give yourself permission to let someone else serve this time. You can always sign up for snack-duty the following month or cut out the Valentine's hearts in February instead of turkeys in November. You should enjoy a hot bubble bath or that fabulous novel while it's nice and chilly out, NOW! Or bake that pumpkin pie this morning because you happen to have an extra forty minutes to do so.

Enjoy the upcoming holidays with a little bit more time for yourself. Share how you've learned to carry less by saying "No" to some things. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: balance, family, kids, moms

We all know the beloved classic, Corduroy, by Don Freeman. The one with the red cover with the cute little bear wearing green overalls. You've read it to your kids oodles of times; and while it teaches a poignant message, it doesn't especially touch you personally until the umpteenth time you've read it.

I'm not sure why this day's run through about the little bear made me so reflective. I guess I could say that I've felt overwhelmed as a mom lately and that it was nice to take a break and sit down to read to my kids. Or, you might say that there's so much stress lately with illness in our extended family, car problems, and too many activities to keep up with.

I resonated with Corduroy's "bright eyes" today... I could relate. I too wanted to be loved... to be accepted... to be taken home and hugged just as I was. I wanted my flaws to be over-looked. As he trotted through the department store in desperate search of a replacement button, you could tell he would do anything to repair his lost identity.

We too can feel that sense that we're flawed, unwanted, and unexceptional compared to those around us. Today, I drove my husband's used compact car since our van can't get worked on until tomorrow. As I saw all the shiny new metal drive past me with symbols of significance, I thought of how small I felt inside of my little silver Toyota.

It makes me wonder if owning a brand new Beamer, Mercedes, or Volvo would really make me feel more valuable. I think the answer is "No." But, it's one thing to grasp something cognitively and quite another to own it emotionally. So, when I got home, I took my shoes off... I listened to the rain falling down. I sat down with two of my kids and read this gentle and convicting book: Corduroy.

As a Christian, I am convinced that my value and purpose come from the Lord. He has made me in His image. My worries are His worries if only I'll hand them over to Him. He cares for me, as He cares for the flowers of the field. And though it's odd to compare Jesus to a juvenile female protagonist, the similarities are overwhelming.

Remember how she said to her mom, "Oh, Mommy!...Look! There's the very bear I've always wanted." When she was told "Not today, dear..." by her mom, she didn't give up. She simply had to return home first to collect the sufficient funds from her piggy-bank to purchase the sweet brown bear the following day. If only Corduroy had known that he was so incredibly special from the very moment they first locked eyes.

Instead, he went in search of a button to repair his overalls, so he could fit in with the rest of the toys. He felt inferior to their pristine condition and felt he had to fix himself before his worth could be restored.

In the end, the little girl bought him, fixed him, and provided him with a home that far surpassed his greatest expectations. Lisa said to him, "I like you the way you are...but you'll be more comfortable with your shoulder strap fastened." Then, she began to sew a button on his overalls.

Isn't that how the Lord works with us? He knows our every need, but sometimes we have to wait. We have to rest in His truth, even while He seems so slow to respond. We have to endure while He repairs our hurts, our weaknesses, and our inadequacies.

After reading Corduroy, I felt renewed, restored, and significant. I hope that you can slow down to take a moment with this great literary work. Though written for young ears, it might minister to your "adult" ones as well.

Share your thoughts on this beloved children's book. What's your favorite part? We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: childrenn's book, Corduroy, essay, family, moms

It's hard to believe that it's already mid-October and that a new year quickly approaches. Some of the good intentions of this year's New Year's resolutions have gotten lost behind all of our busy schedules and the stresses that weigh us down. Instead of getting discouraged about the ones you haven't yet accomplished, take heart and read on. My tidbit of encouragement is this: just take a few steps at a time.

Whether you have plans to improve your personal health, your budget, your organization, or a specific relationship in your life, just start small. Rather than striving for something so big that it's basically unattainable, go for a few baby steps in the right direction. Just pick two things that will get you on the right track. Then if that goes well, add a few more steps after that.

If your plan for 2010 was to improve your health, maybe you've taken huge strides toward a healthier you. And if you have, keep working it baby!!! But if you haven't gotten the amazing start you'd planned on, don't fret. Just begin today by picking two basic health goals.

Here are a few ideas to get you started. Try to drink more water by filling a 32 oz container first thing; then keep it somewhere visible so you sip it throughout the day. For some of you, a healthier step could simply be to start taking a good multi-vitamin. Another challenge could be to eat an apple instead of chips or candy as an afternoon snack. If you need more exercise, just shoot for a fifteen minute walk four times per week.

If you met most of your health goals this year, try upping your work-outs by ten minutes. Or if you don't currently lift any weights, throw in a light weight-circuit to the mix as well. You could also pick up a few more supplements other than your multi-vitamin. And you might even consider meeting with a dietitian or your personal physician to undergo some basic tests that ensure your body is getting all that it needs.

Maybe your big challenge was for a better budget. You intended to pay down those d--n credit cards, but instead, they've just gotten even bigger. So, here's how you get started on that one. Pick the card with the smallest balance on it and double the monthly payment until it's paid off. If that seems impossible right now, put the frigging thing in the freezer inside of a huge block of ice. Decide that you won't charge any more on it.

If you're trying to beef up your savings, take baby steps there as well; just add $50-$100 to your account today. You might have to dip into it before October is over, but you might not. The truth is that it's definitely already spent if you never even switch it over in the first place. Maybe next month you can put $200 into savings. If your morning latte is a must, try creating your own at home to save some green.

Even though I didn't set any official resolutions for this year, I definitely wanted to get more organized. But instead of becoming discouraged about how disorganized my house still is at times, I'm gonna focus on what I can get done before this year is over.

Two of my organizational goals deal with the garage and the clutter that floods my kitchen counters. So last week, I cleared out five items from my overcrowded garage; I'll shoot for the same goal this week as well. I reduced a large pile of papers from one of my counter-tops and cut it in half by sorting through it as well. One pile per week does wonders.

Relationships can be tricky for some people because they seem so mysterious at times. Even though you share the same oxygen with that person every day in the same house, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's easy to have a great relationship. If a dish breaks, you can glue it back together. But, if you and your spouse or significant other argue about something, that's harder to fix.

Here are two steps to make this relational goal easier as well. First, try to figure out what makes your loved one feel truly loved. Is it quality time or physical touch? Maybe it's gifts or acts of service. It could even be words of affirmation. So after you decide what his love language is, think of two ways to show him that you love him by using that love language (for more info about these, see Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages).

For example, if it's words of affirmation, leave sticky notes on the bathroom mirror saying, "I love you" or "I think you are great." You could also pump up the text messages this week with sweet reminders of how you feel: "U r a q t pie. lv u. ttyl luv-bug :)."

While these four goals are just a few that come to me, I'm sure there are many others that fill your heart and mind. So, try to keep those simple as well. Take a few steps at a time and before you know it, you'll look back and see that you've already completed your first lap around the track.

Share some thoughts about resolutions that you've mastered or haven't quite attained throughout 2010. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: family, health, moms, money, organization, relationships

As moms, we tend to be so hard on ourselves. We usually don't expect other moms to be perfect, but for some insane reason, we want our lives to be so different from theirs. Maybe it's that we occasionally see the "perfect mom" (as if she's really out there) and we compare ourselves unfairly to her skin, to her paycheck, to her car, to her house, or to her family.

It's as if we're reverting to elementary school. Remember the days when you thought, "Oh if only I had that cool Atari game that so-and-so has?" Or, maybe you pined for Barbie's Dream-house or the entire set of Cabbage Patch dolls. I'm sure as a kid, you realized that you were actually happy without that next acquisition. But somehow as an adult, you linger for too long inside of that grave misconception.

At least, that's how I feel about myself sometimes. It's as if the commercials we see, the internet adds, and the billboards that follow us from one destination to the next all point to one depressing message: "You are not good enough unless you buy this or change that..." So, I'm here to remind you that you are fine just the way you are.

Recently, I hosted a birthday tea party for twelve ballerina fairies. I did my best to prepare the house the way I wanted it. The yard looked pretty good, except for those three things I just couldn't get done. The house looked nice but I wasn't able to clean it as well as I'd hoped. I put up most of the decorations I'd bought, but couldn't find time to put up the fuchsia pink streamers.

You see, the morning of the party, my middle kid snuggled into our bed at 5am asking me if I'd be at her t-ball game that morning. I told her I would have to skip it because I had to clean and decorate the house for the party. Thankfully, a few hours later, when we "officially" greeted the new day, I totally changed my mind about the whole thing.

I asked myself which I'd rather do: look like a Mrs. Cleaver perfect mom in front of my friends and relatives or support my daughter by cheering her on from the stands. Those additional two hours of sleep helped to clarify the matter; the choice was clear. I was going to the game.

I cheered like a psycho who was trying to develop laryngitis in one short hour. I hugged her. I put two Sesame Street band-aids on her elbow after she ate it while playing catcher. I told her the game wasn't official until there was blood. And I mingled with some other fans instead of mopping my kitchen floor. Instead of cleaning my downstairs bathroom. Instead of Windexing my sliding glass doors. Instead of sweeping my front porch.

My conclusion is twofold. I'm glad I made the choice that I did. But somehow, I'm still feeling self-conscious about what the other moms thought of me even though it's three days later. And I'm wondering why I care so much about what someone might have thought about my less than perfectly clean house. I'm also trying to convince myself that my true friends wouldn't judge me for how my house looked anyways.

The other thing about true friends is that as long as you serve them tasty food, they could care less about what your house looks like. So, that's what I did. I served hot dogs in a blanket, blue cheese and cranberry salad, broccoli and mushroom quiches, fresh strawberries and purple grapes, a plethora of cheeses and salami, heart-shaped cookies, lots of chocolate, and twelve different types of hot teas, along with apple juice for the kids.

So, if you are at a place where you are trying to be Mrs. Perfect by showing everyone how great you are, take a few days off. Instead of trying to look like "her" and act like "her" and drive what "she" drives, try to accept yourself for who you are; take a look at your own feet and try to enjoy the ones that God gave you. Take a deep breath and let go of the fabricated ideals that weigh you down.

I hope when others see me being real... they can relax and be themselves back to me as well. My make-up won't ever look like the magazines. My house will never have all the toys put away or all the frames dusted to perfection. Even after I sweep and mop, the kids seem to spill four cups of apple juice within two minutes anyways. My bathrooms refuse to stay clean even after using half of a container of Tilex. And my sweet Labrador sheds like she's trying to stuff a large pillow.

Here's the main challenge: enjoy who you are. And even though it's not easy for me, I'm trying to get better at it. I don't want to strive to be someone that I'm not. I want to be joyful for who I am now. I think getting a house-cleaner, a chauffeur, a cook, and a pet-groomer might help remove some of the pressure as well. But, for now, I'm gonna have to accept a more reasonable set of standards, so I can find peace with myself in the present.

Share your thoughts about what makes you comfortable in your own shoes. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: acceptance, friendship, moms, parenthood

This is going to be a very short post. Mainly, I just want to say, DON'T GIVE UP! Sometimes, life just feels so full of burdens. Amidst the never-ending tasks, the plethora of bills, our overloaded schedules, and a sometimes amazingly stupid line-up of arguments... we can just feel worn out.

While giving up might feel like the easiest option, DON'T DO IT! Be the strong person that you know you are... even amidst the trials. Keep working hard! Keep believing! Keep striving for greatness! And make sure to laugh more by doing silly things! Try rocking out to U2 in the middle of your kitchen when you really feel like taking a nap instead. You'll laugh if you dance like no-one's watching.

Today I let my four-year-old paint my nails again, even though she did them like five times yesterday. At least they're as strong as cement as a result... and super sparkly. As she "gooped" the polish on like it was Elmer's glue, I began to laugh like I was going to snort out juicy boogers. She got mad at me for chuckling so intensely, but I couldn't help it; tears were flooding down my face.

Even as I write this post, I have to decide to get over a frustrating argument that I just had with my spouse. Do I stay grumpy at him or do I think up a funny way to make us both laugh? When you both feel super stressed out and tired, even the littlest things can turn into unreasonable ordeals. I think I should just smash his face with a purple cupcake from my kitchen; perhaps, I'll just have to tickle him to death instead. Either way, it will end our ridiculous disagreement!

When you get through the storm, whatever yours is, you'll find the rainbow at the end. Try to remember that the sun always shines; it just gets covered up by the clouds sometimes. So, don't forget to keep things in perspective no matter what you face today. Just decide that you WON'T GIVE UP! Not today and not tomorrow and not the next day or even the day after that! Just keeping it real!

Share what makes you laugh hysterically. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: endurance, faith, family, marriage

Once upon a time, there was a whale named Tiny. He was smaller than a ladybug that lands on a lemon tree. In fact, he was so small that you could hardly see him even if your eyes were wide open, staring straight at him. So, one day, he decided that he needed to get bigger. He met a krill named Bill and asked him what he should do.

Bill suggested he go in search of the Wishing Fairy. So, that's what Tiny did. He came upon a friendly dolphin, named Dolphy, who happened to hear him begging for directions. Dolphy told Tiny to head toward the big black rock closest to the shore.

Dolphy said Tiny would hear the fairy's singing and would be able to follow her voice until he found her. So, that's what Tiny did. He started to swim in search of the big black rock.

After a few minutes, Tiny came upon a young Garibaldi fish, named Gary. Tiny asked the fish if he was going the right way and Gary said that he was. They chatted about the exceptionally warm water and about sports. Then, Tiny said goodbye and continued to swim toward the black rock in search of the Wishing Fairy.

Ten more minutes passed and Tiny started to get really tired. He was extremely tiny after all. So, he decided to rest on a red-orange piece of kelp. He day-dreamed for a bit, asking himself why he was so small. He pondered why he was even called a whale in the first place. And he wondered if he was ever going to find the Wishing Fairy at all.

Maybe he was just floating inside of a gigantic dream that would never come true. But, after some rest, he awoke refreshed and renewed. He continued to swim toward the big black rock. Almost instantly, he heard the most beautiful singing he had ever heard in his entire life. He began to swim even faster.

His energy and motivation were like that of a large whale now. In a matter of seconds, he could see the giant black rock and realized that he had finally made it. Within seconds, he looked up toward the ocean's surface and locked his eyes upon her vibrant green gaze.

He had found the Wishing Fairy and she was stunning. Her hair radiated golden warmth like the sun itself and her cheeks were pink like wild roses. She knew his purpose in coming and offered him the three wishes instantly. She spoke to him with a tender voice and showed him compassion because of his pure heart and his simple faith to find her, despite his tiny size.

Wish number one was to become big like all the other whales in the ocean. Wish number two was to change his name to Big. And wish number three was to have an ocean-wide ice cream party. The wishes came true almost as quickly as he had thought them up. Now that Big was not so tiny any more, the Wishing Fairy looked deep into his large blue eyes and told him she was proud of him.

That day, the ocean was filled with every flavor of ice cream you could imagine: vanilla, chocolate, peanut butter, marshmallow, mint, strawberry, and cookie dough, just to name some of the most popular ones. There were also tons of toppings: from hot fudge to sprinkles to caramel and more cherries than you could count in ten lifetimes.

All of the creatures of the sea celebrated together with singing and dancing. Even the Wishing Fairy ate some ice cream while chatting with some old friends. After all, ice cream is the tastiest dessert of all, no matter where you live. :)

Labels: children's story, family, ocean, sea