Friday, February 11, 2011
Excerpt #3, page 17/18 from Chapter Three of "Stream of Consciousness"
My gosh. Am I this pathetic? My single best friend is going to go skydiving with her new loser boyfriend and my new paraplegic friend is exploring the world without any functional legs while I, a grown woman, am still terrified of the dark. I mean, am I even alive? Or am I just hiding behind my writing? Is that what makes my existence real? If I don’t write, it’s like there’s no proof I was even here. I mean, my three kids, well they’re proof, right? I need another coffee. My gosh if I could just finish this damn nature piece, then I could move on and start writing my book.
Jadan rolled off to the other side of the lounge. But before he made it back to his table, he got stopped by a tall, thin business acquaintance to discuss an article from the Wall Street Journal. They chatted for a few minutes before he got back to his trades. Meanwhile, Jen couldn’t put her damn phone down because she was texting half of the planet, but mainly Jared. I could tell it was Jared because of the way she smiled and put her right pinky nail against the edge of her front tooth while she hit “send” every fifteen seconds.
“Seriously Jen, five thousand texts per month. You are going to get Carpal Tunnel,” I said with a tired tone.
“Whatever, it just gives me an edge and makes me a faster typist. What’s your problem Renee? Grumpy again today, are we? I swear you’re not having enough sex. That’s what’s making you so irritable,” she said still texting away.
“Ha ha, you Dork. I get plenty of sex by the way. I’m the one with the three kids remember?” I said laughing into my next sip of coffee.
“Well you seem all serious and pissy. You don’t have to tell me what’s bugging you though. I know I’ll hear it soon enough,” she sighed.
“Spoken like a true friend, Jen. Seriously, nothing’s bugging me… except that I can’t clear my mind and I’m totally confused about my life lately.”
“About what? You have three healthy and amazingly smart kids, a four bedroom house near the beach, a totally brilliant, hot husband, and an obedient Labrador to go jogging with. Pardon me, but what the heck do you have to feel confused about?”
“Jen, you are so shallow sometimes. It all looks great on the outside, but I’m not always as happy as everyone thinks. Then I meet Jadan, who is like the most joyful human being ever to walk the earth, even though he’s paralyzed. I don’t get it. Why can’t I be more positive about stuff like he is?” I asked.
“Well, I’m sure he has tough days too. We all do. And I didn’t mean to make it seem like you have a perfect life, but yours comes pretty damn close,” she said brushing her hand against mine.
“I do have a ton of blessings. I just wish I wasn’t such a stress-case. It’s hard to drop the kids off and not worry about them all day long. I swear Jen before having kids, I had almost nothing to worry about. I mean grad school was a ton of work, but if I died, oh well. As a mom, it’s different, you have to take really good care of yourself now so you can live to be a great grandma some day. Plus, you have to take care of three other human beings in every way, from their teeth to their hair, to their butts even. It’s literally exhausting,” I said rolling my head from side to side to get a few cracks and pops out.
“See Renee, this is why you don’t write. You just get inside your head and all you do is freak out most of the day. You know I love you so I’m just gonna say it: ‘Chill out!’”
“Thanks Jen. I love you too. So, how was your date with Mr. Sleaze-ball last night?”
“It was very sleazy, thank you.”
“You seriously slept with him already?”
“No, I did not, thank you very much. I think he’s actually all talk because he didn’t even kiss me, but it was okay. It was very romantic. After dinner, we walked along the harbor and stared at the million dollar boats. It was a bit breezy, so he gave me his black leather jacket to wear over my spaghetti strap black velvet dress. It was literally the most kosher and non physical date I’ve had since like junior high,” she said in an astonished tone.
“Nice. I’m impressed Jen. I mean, truly blown away. What a guy? I might even have to apologize to him next time I see him at our old Starbucks. So does Jared like Chinese food?” I inquired as my mind started thinking about the lunch specials across the Plaza at Mr. Kim’s.
“I don’t know. We’ve only dated for like a week. But I bet he does. He’s very open minded. And he’s such a gentleman. He paid for everything. Oh, did I mention the Espresso Comedy after dinner that he took me to? It was so funny. I laughed like a total nerd. But, he has a really snorty laugh too,” she said reminiscing about the memorable evening with her new heart throb.
“Well go Jen. I’m happy for you, like truly happy if this guy turns out to be a true prince charming,” I said flipping through various folders on my laptop.
PAUSE.
Opening up “Nature Article.” I hope I remembered to let Nugget out. Ugghhh, if I didn’t, then she’s gonna pee all over the red futon again. Oh, I hope Dianne and Danielle don’t get the stomach flu like Josh did earlier this week. I can’t even remember if I took that pot roast out of the freezer to dethaw. Well, if not, there’s always Little Caesar’s to the rescue. Thank goodness for pizza. Uggghhh, I totally forgot to eat breakfast this morning. I’m so hungry. I hated that nightmare last night. I can’t believe that friend of mine who shared that lame story about the woman who got abducted by aliens. Like that could really happen? Oh my gosh…BRAIN…YOU MUST SHUT UP SO I CAN WRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jadan rolled off to the other side of the lounge. But before he made it back to his table, he got stopped by a tall, thin business acquaintance to discuss an article from the Wall Street Journal. They chatted for a few minutes before he got back to his trades. Meanwhile, Jen couldn’t put her damn phone down because she was texting half of the planet, but mainly Jared. I could tell it was Jared because of the way she smiled and put her right pinky nail against the edge of her front tooth while she hit “send” every fifteen seconds.
“Seriously Jen, five thousand texts per month. You are going to get Carpal Tunnel,” I said with a tired tone.
“Whatever, it just gives me an edge and makes me a faster typist. What’s your problem Renee? Grumpy again today, are we? I swear you’re not having enough sex. That’s what’s making you so irritable,” she said still texting away.
“Ha ha, you Dork. I get plenty of sex by the way. I’m the one with the three kids remember?” I said laughing into my next sip of coffee.
“Well you seem all serious and pissy. You don’t have to tell me what’s bugging you though. I know I’ll hear it soon enough,” she sighed.
“Spoken like a true friend, Jen. Seriously, nothing’s bugging me… except that I can’t clear my mind and I’m totally confused about my life lately.”
“About what? You have three healthy and amazingly smart kids, a four bedroom house near the beach, a totally brilliant, hot husband, and an obedient Labrador to go jogging with. Pardon me, but what the heck do you have to feel confused about?”
“Jen, you are so shallow sometimes. It all looks great on the outside, but I’m not always as happy as everyone thinks. Then I meet Jadan, who is like the most joyful human being ever to walk the earth, even though he’s paralyzed. I don’t get it. Why can’t I be more positive about stuff like he is?” I asked.
“Well, I’m sure he has tough days too. We all do. And I didn’t mean to make it seem like you have a perfect life, but yours comes pretty damn close,” she said brushing her hand against mine.
“I do have a ton of blessings. I just wish I wasn’t such a stress-case. It’s hard to drop the kids off and not worry about them all day long. I swear Jen before having kids, I had almost nothing to worry about. I mean grad school was a ton of work, but if I died, oh well. As a mom, it’s different, you have to take really good care of yourself now so you can live to be a great grandma some day. Plus, you have to take care of three other human beings in every way, from their teeth to their hair, to their butts even. It’s literally exhausting,” I said rolling my head from side to side to get a few cracks and pops out.
“See Renee, this is why you don’t write. You just get inside your head and all you do is freak out most of the day. You know I love you so I’m just gonna say it: ‘Chill out!’”
“Thanks Jen. I love you too. So, how was your date with Mr. Sleaze-ball last night?”
“It was very sleazy, thank you.”
“You seriously slept with him already?”
“No, I did not, thank you very much. I think he’s actually all talk because he didn’t even kiss me, but it was okay. It was very romantic. After dinner, we walked along the harbor and stared at the million dollar boats. It was a bit breezy, so he gave me his black leather jacket to wear over my spaghetti strap black velvet dress. It was literally the most kosher and non physical date I’ve had since like junior high,” she said in an astonished tone.
“Nice. I’m impressed Jen. I mean, truly blown away. What a guy? I might even have to apologize to him next time I see him at our old Starbucks. So does Jared like Chinese food?” I inquired as my mind started thinking about the lunch specials across the Plaza at Mr. Kim’s.
“I don’t know. We’ve only dated for like a week. But I bet he does. He’s very open minded. And he’s such a gentleman. He paid for everything. Oh, did I mention the Espresso Comedy after dinner that he took me to? It was so funny. I laughed like a total nerd. But, he has a really snorty laugh too,” she said reminiscing about the memorable evening with her new heart throb.
“Well go Jen. I’m happy for you, like truly happy if this guy turns out to be a true prince charming,” I said flipping through various folders on my laptop.
PAUSE.
Opening up “Nature Article.” I hope I remembered to let Nugget out. Ugghhh, if I didn’t, then she’s gonna pee all over the red futon again. Oh, I hope Dianne and Danielle don’t get the stomach flu like Josh did earlier this week. I can’t even remember if I took that pot roast out of the freezer to dethaw. Well, if not, there’s always Little Caesar’s to the rescue. Thank goodness for pizza. Uggghhh, I totally forgot to eat breakfast this morning. I’m so hungry. I hated that nightmare last night. I can’t believe that friend of mine who shared that lame story about the woman who got abducted by aliens. Like that could really happen? Oh my gosh…BRAIN…YOU MUST SHUT UP SO I CAN WRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Labels: book excerpt from Stream of Consciousness
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Hey, I want MORE! Where can I read pages 1 through 16? Sounds like a book I can relate to. Very smooth... Keep writing!!
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