Mariposa Kisses (aka Dianne's Blog)

Discontentment can pull us down at so many levels. A recent return from vacation leaves me feeling a bit disoriented. Our days were about having fun, satisfying the senses, and taking tons of great pictures of our family. Today I wake up with a tooth ache (that still hasn't recovered from a recent root canal and crown), a pile of bills, and one kid who awoke with a lingering tummy ache. A recent argument with a friend got me down as well, where I'm left feeling like we aren't as good of friends as I'd thought for the past several years. Isn't there more to this life? As a Christian, my answer has to be YES! And yet, my inner woman cries out to escape, to run, to move away from the frustrations of a fairly sleepless night, blanketed with stress and anxiety. Should my main goal be the pursuit of happiness like most other good Americans? To feel cozy, to have all debts paid and some extra in savings, to have happy and well educated kids, to acquire a circle of friends who help rather than hinder? I'm not exactly sure of the answer that I want to those inquisitions. I guess I'd like for life to be easier. For aging parents to stop aging. For sickness to not exist. For kids to never get bullied. For me to never be mistreated. For money to grow on trees. For writing assignments to flood my inbox. For my blood pressure to be lower. For my kids to be more obedient and less whiny. For God to whisper back to me when I press into His presence. For tears to taste sweeter and less salty. But this life here on earth has short changed us. There's more! And we all know it if we know Christ. He says in John 10:10, "I have come that you might have life and have it more abundantly." And he also promises to work all things for good to those who have been called according to his purposes (Rom 8:28). As I've been reading Paul Tripp's book called FOREVER, I've been reminded that we long for something beyond this world because there actually is something beyond this world. We want more because this side of heaven will never be enough. Perhaps that is where we begin to find encouragement then. When we need more, want more, long for more, cry for more, beg for something else... this is perhaps the place where God can meet us best. We come with open hands saying, "I'm clueless, angry, disheartened, weak, anxious, and inadequate." And he says, "It's okay, I'm all that you truly need." 2 Corinthians 12:9 has perplexed me for most of my thirty-six years through its confusing and paradoxical proclamation: "My grace is sufficient for you for my strength is made perfect in weakness." But how can grace be made perfect in weakness? How can God meet us when we're low and downtrodden? Do we simply deceive ourselves with hollow promises just to feel better? Is the Lord truly enough? Or does the Bible just assuage our fears of death and help us to avoid hell? Then again, maybe there is more this side of heaven too. I know it in my head and soul but my heart is just having a hard time getting there this morning. With very few readers and a vulnerable heart, I'd have to say that this post is mostly for you Lord. Would you meet me where I'm at today? Would you care for my tender heart? Please be enough. Please use me and my family for your glorious KINGDOM plans. Pour out your grace upon my overflowing plethora of inadequacies. I need you to be enough!