Mariposa Kisses (aka Dianne's Blog)

I shouldn’t have gone running so late in the evening. Their cries chased my trail as I hunted for some kind of hiding spot. My cell phone was out of juice and I was going as fast as I could without spraining my ankle or falling into the brush. The canyon felt like my own backyard so I knew I could avoid the coyotes if I could just make it one more mile at this same pace. But I was getting so tired; my 135 pound frame just longed to collapse. I knew that I had to get off the path. Then like a light coming down from the heavens, I noticed an entrance to a cave near the stream I’d jogged around hundreds of times. It wasn’t very large but it might hide my scent if I could squeeze into it for a few minutes until the coyotes passed by. If only my phone would charge up long enough to send off one quick text for help. Then Eric could grab the jeep and track my phone in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, the kids had drained my iPhone while playing games on it for most of the afternoon. I inched my way into the cave that barely fit my hunched over body. Since I couldn’t use my flashlight app, I had to feel my way toward the back with my bare hands. About twenty feet in, I could no longer hear the coyotes’ cries behind me which was a relief. But a voice in the back of my head told me I’d have to face something much worse. I just froze as the creeping shadow crawled toward my trembling body. I hoped that the distant wind could mask the noise of my racing heart as snow white fingers covered my blood red lips, to prevent me from screaming. No-one would hear me inside the moist, black cave anyways. So I waited, prayed, and accepted the only certainty that I could hold onto; it would soon be over. At this point, I wished I’d kept running from the coyotes. But how could I have known this would be so much worse? Suddenly, warm air brushed across the nape of my neck; and before I could take another breath, fuzzy black limbs forced me under its fire-red belly. My scalp was pulled in one direction while wrestling toes were yanked in the other. Icy cold numbness paralyzed my mind while boiling heat raged inside my veins. The sound of steel drums juxtaposed against peaceful piano chords inside my ears. My mind and body were one yet two, contradictory forces fighting a battle that could not be won. Being hunted was so much different than I’d imagined, so eternal, so cold, so futile! All that fight or flight crap I’d learned back in Psychology 101 seemed pointless here in real life. I felt frozen, unable to react at all. I could barely navigate this cave under perfect lighting conditions, let alone here in the dark. At this point, running was out of the question. I could hardly walk. I felt way too traumatized to fight so I had to surrender myself to focused meditation. Visions of sailing ashes gliding over the breezy Pacific filled my mind, along with dozens of fragrant, yellow rose petals. But then its piercing orange gaze forced me to open my placid green eyes. And with one last glimpse of courage and humanity, I sat up and stared at the jet black spider, imploring it to reconsider. I could no longer hear normal sounds, like the water droplets dripping down the side of the muddied wall or the frantic bats fleeing for their lives overhead. It felt like my soul was floating outside of my body now--- almost given over to death because I could barely feel a thing. DEAR GOD HELP ME! The blow overpowered my neck and shoulders. I’m electrocuted! Somebody, help! But no-one heard my ear-piercing shrieks for salvation. No-one came to my rescue as three short decades collided with another world, where reds and blues flowed perfectly together forming a new shade of purple that I’d never seen before. It was a place where laughter sounded like singing and breathing felt like dancing. Rescued from the nightmare behind me, un-sourced rays of glittery sunlight began to flood my body with soothing, feather-like molecules. The magical light renewed my skin and strengthened my muscles. My bones felt supercharged too, as if they’d been replaced with some kind of titanium alloy. Oddly, who and where I was no longer made sense, but my response to this supernatural experience was utter and total relief. I was healed. I had forgotten what physical and emotional pain felt like. Carefree and peaceful, my heart and mind felt refreshed. Somehow the regenerative spray had transformed me so I couldn’t even stress about my husband or my three kids anymore. Deep down, I knew they were fine and for the first time in a long time, I simply embraced the moment that I was in. I couldn’t predict what would come next or how I would get back home as I skipped toward a liquid green path that led to a blue, flowing pool. But I didn’t care. I was no longer afraid. I had defeated death. All along, I could hear my name being called aloud in a language that I’d never heard before, but that I’d known since before I was born. I recognized the voice from the blue-eyed creature with white and blue wings like an over-sized eagle. His light colored skin and blonde, long hair made me think of a dream I’d had as a child where a majestic white horse had rescued me from a cruel and unquenchable forest fire. At this moment, my mind remembered perfectly, all the goodness from my past but longed for new adventures ahead. While staring into the blue pool, I felt the wind singing new sounds, like I’d acquired a sixth sense. Then, as if he could read my thoughts, the angelic creature motioned for me to take his hand. As fast as blinking, we were gliding across the turquoise lake, side by side. There was some kind of gravitational pull that held this world together but it was strange how I could fly now too. I let go of his hand and flipped and twirled on my own. I smiled as I looked into his feather-shadowed reflection down below and laughed as my toes tickled nearby tree tops. They felt so silky and warm, like a robe that’s just come out of the dryer. And all of a sudden it hit me, that I had my own wings as well, beautiful silvery white wings with a hint of purple around the edges. Then suddenly, there was shouting. And as fast as lightning, I began to free-fall down toward the water. My wings were frozen, like they had been clipped from my back. I tried to fall gracefully but couldn’t slow down. My heart felt like it would pop open. “Jennifer, get up! It’s already seven in the morning. They’re going to be late for school. You must have hit snooze like ten times,” Eric lovingly shouted into my delicate ears. I felt I had just evaded death. How could my husband not see that getting our three kids to school paled in comparison? “I’ll skip my shower. Don’t worry! I just need some strong coffee,” I whined as I flopped onto my back in the shape of a very sloppy X. Out of the corner of my sleep-encrusted eyes, I noticed a pure, white feather falling from the sky, cascading just inches beyond my wooden, red-framed window. Under normal circumstances, I would have assumed it was just a sea gull’s feather since we live so close to the beach. But this was different. Its iridescent glow called me to notice its presence in some kind of spiritual way, which sounds weird, I know. It’s just that after that bizarre dream, today’s beginning found me confused and a bit strung out, wishing the heavenly sun-spray had been real. And I’m not sure why, but the twirling feather reminded me of The Nutcracker Ballet, which made me think of Alexa, my older sister, whom I hadn’t spoken to in months. And that prompted me to text her about her upcoming birthday. I couldn’t believe she was turning forty-one this year.