Mariposa Kisses (aka Dianne's Blog)

So, if you're an avid golfer like I used to be, you're familiar with the meaning of a mulligan. You know that it's when you hit the ball from the tee and it sucks so badly that you get to have a do-over. A clean slate. Total forgiveness this one time. Well, as life so frequently applies to some sort of golf metaphor, mine did as such earlier this evening.

I was WAITING for my husband to get home from work. I'd done my fair share of meal preps, taxi-cab-kid-pick-ups, volunteering in the classroom, and had also given a fair share of homework guidance amongst a plethora of other tasks. So, I was ready for my break, a chance to sprint off to the gym with U2 blaring way too loud from my headphones.

So, why was Hubby about an hour late? For a totally good reason, of course: 2 dozen pink-tea colored roses, a bottle of fabulous Merlot, a package of tasty chicken raviolis accompanied by an amazing pesto sauce, and a spa gift card inside of a card... that said, "Each small kindness, like a seed, grows tall in memory...THANK YOU!" Then my husband added to the generic card's message, "...for the greatest kindness of all--being my wife. I love you!"

So, how did I respond? Like a total idiot. I didn't seem especially thankful. I was a bit miffed that I didn't get off to the gym when I'd intended to... that I was now going to feel starved after my three mile run and 30 minute weight circuit. My eyes expressed a bit of apprehension about the money as well.

The money that my husband spent on "me" for one of our normal stay-at-home Tuesday date-nights, which contrasted financially to our standard one dollar Redbox movie rentals. I am our resident accountant after all. My name-tag says, "Budget-master." Doesn't he remember that?

And then, it hit me. "What kind of an idiot acts stressed out about getting these lovely gifts and such kindhearted servant-hood?" An idiot like myself...that's who! But, I'm sure you can relate about certain acts of lameness, right? Tell me I'm not totally alone!

It goes to show that after twelve point five years of marriage, my husband is still a charming prince and I have turned into a bit of a practical nut-ball. In my head, I'm figuring out the other things we "needed" to buy for the month. I'm planning ahead to one of our kid's upcoming birthday parties, thinking, "OK, how are we going to pay for this and that?"

But, here's the thing: when you are blessed to have a loving and faithful spouse, you should accept their gifts even when they seem a bit impractical. You certainly don't question them like I did. And you should act blissfully thankful no matter how many dumb neurons fire off inside of your dense brain cavity.

But we all do it, from time to time. We take our spouse for granted. We forget that we married Mr. Wonderful. Our lives can so easily become about ritual, kid-management, tasks, appointments, bills, and to-do lists. Sometimes, the mundane simply takes over and we literally forget what marriage is. We act like it is a mere business partnership, when it needs to be about so much more: romance, companionship, and laughter.

I married someone wonderful, handsome, and brilliant. Of course, I frequently minimize these truths when I want to win an argument or put my own spin on things. But truth be told, being an idiot tonight acted as an important reminder of the amazing blessing staring me in the face every single day.

I'm so lucky to have my husband as my partner for my whole life, even when life is hard. Even when our communication sucks at times. Even when we don't feel emotionally intertwined and addicted to one another as Hollywood falsely portrays its average love relationship to be.

So I'm actually glad I was a mental-case tonight. It makes me want to work harder to be even more in love with my husband. He certainly is the first to admit his own list of imperfections, but tonight he came pretty d--n close to perfect... and I was too blind to see it. So I desire to be more patient, caring, and appreciative of him.

If you have a loved one who is doing his best to show you that he loves you, accept his efforts. Say, "Thank you" and "I love you" and "You are amazing" even if it's not the exact thing you were thinking of for tonight, this week, or this month. We should all remember that we are lucky to be loved. And we are blessed to have someone else to love as well.

Keeping it real. Share your thoughts about love and marriage. We'd love to hear from you. ;)

Labels: humor, idiot, marriage, spouse