Mariposa Kisses (aka Dianne's Blog)

As moms, we frequently set the bar very high. And then we can't even reach it ourselves. For some, it might be about a dietary goal, an educational pursuit, or a volunteering endeavor. For me, I struggle to set realistic expectations in these three areas: physical fitness, finances, and emotional wellness.

In the area of exercise, I'm fairly fit already, but I aim higher than my body can handle; subsequently, I pay for it by injury or stress later. For example, I try to get to the gym four to five times a week.

But, I usually only make it about two to three times per week since my mom-duties pull me in a hundred different directions. So I tend to jam in more miles and longer weight circuits instead of being gentle on my body.

Recently, I have found a more attainable goal for myself. I'm now running four to five times a week for shorter distances. Instead of aiming for seven miles on the treadmill, I'm upping my frequency out on the road, but limiting it to two miles instead.

The result is more peace and satisfaction along with healthier shins. I still squeeze the gym-time into my schedule, but now I don't feel as stressed if I skip it once in awhile.

When it comes to finances, my hubby and I have reduced all of our debts, other than educational loans and one of our cars. So we should feel really good about ourselves; but still, I have the tendency to feel pressured to do even better. I want to increase our savings and investments even more.

And though both of these aspirations are positive, I have to make sure I set realistic goals here as well. Otherwise, I'm likely to feel overwhelmed and discouraged. If I do set manageable financial goals, then I'm more likely to achieve them.

Instead of paying off my new car in three years, it seems reasonable to shoot for four or five years so I can enjoy a few cappuccinos and a few new outfits along the way. Penny pinching and coupon cutting have their pay-offs, but a few luxuries are necessary as well.

Regarding my emotional state, I want to be a stronger, more courageous, and healthier person. But on most days, I simply want to feel more content than I am. And I think if moms are honest, most would say that they feel the same way.

But we want to come off as totally self sufficient and gloriously happy. So we usually respond to someone's help with, "No, I'm fine. I can handle that myself." And I'm not sure why we do it with such uncanny regularity, but we do.

So in this department, I want to accept myself right where I'm at. If I'm not perfectly content with life on Monday, then I want to be at peace with that.

If my level of joy isn't where I'd like it to be by Friday, then that's okay too. I want to pursue my emotional goals graciously as well.

Part of this health for me also means accepting help when I need it. If a friend offers to watch my kids so I can get a break, I need to welcome it. Also, feeling down is a part of life, so I need to stop striving to be Mrs. Happy everywhere I go.

As I learn to take things in stride by setting healthier expectations, I feel that I am achieving a calmer and happier me in all three areas: exercise, money, and emotional well-being.

Share your thoughts about setting more realistic goals. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: emotional, finances, fitness, moms, realistic expectations