Mariposa Kisses (aka Dianne's Blog)

As moms, we learn to go with the flow, pretty much on a daily basis. Survival mode isn't always our preference, but it is a learned discipline that we must perfect. Today was no exception. The morning routine seemed fairly uneventful... toast and fruit for breakfast, lunches packed, backpacks thrown out the front door. And into the van we raced!

Then, my squeamish middle daughter saw a slug on the ground which made her gag inside the van, which turned into full-fledged vomiting. So, I ran into the laundry room through the garage to grab the Oxi-clean and five small towels. After cleaning the van as fast as I could, we darted into the chilly morning to drop off my son. At least one Bright would make it to school today.

The drive home was relatively peaceful and the morning seemed typical: cleaning, emailing, writing, laundry, and preparing snacks. But at around eleven in the morning, my littlest ran downstairs crying really hard. I knew something horrific had happened. After calming her down a bit, I discovered she had fallen down with a pencil in her mouth. Blood was oozing from her nose and her mouth, so my response was pretty remarkable, given that my nervous heart was racing like a cheetah.

Off to Kaiser we zoomed. At this point, I was convinced that my middle daughter did not actually have the flu, so thankfully it was safe again for her to ride in the van. But my littlest could not stop crying and her state of shock was freaking me out. We got to her pediatrician in a flash, thanks to my super-mommy driving and my wizardry performance for a same hour appointment.

Thankfully, the injury did not cause any permanent damage and no stitches were required. A McDonald's Happy Meal (she got the new Barbie) and some anesthetic mouth-wash transformed her sad face into a renewed princess smile. And we continued on with the day. She might even rally for her ballet class later this evening. And she is certainly enjoying the soft food regimen: melted caramel, ice cream, and lots of fun kid-drinks.

Just remember that as moms, we are called to something greater: the ability to live amongst controlled chaos at all times! Keep it up ladies! You are doing an awesome job! Share one of your crazy stories here. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: chaos, kids, moms

As moms, we frequently set the bar very high. And then we can't even reach it ourselves. For some, it might be about a dietary goal, an educational pursuit, or a volunteering endeavor. For me, I struggle to set realistic expectations in these three areas: physical fitness, finances, and emotional wellness.

In the area of exercise, I'm fairly fit already, but I aim higher than my body can handle; subsequently, I pay for it by injury or stress later. For example, I try to get to the gym four to five times a week.

But, I usually only make it about two to three times per week since my mom-duties pull me in a hundred different directions. So I tend to jam in more miles and longer weight circuits instead of being gentle on my body.

Recently, I have found a more attainable goal for myself. I'm now running four to five times a week for shorter distances. Instead of aiming for seven miles on the treadmill, I'm upping my frequency out on the road, but limiting it to two miles instead.

The result is more peace and satisfaction along with healthier shins. I still squeeze the gym-time into my schedule, but now I don't feel as stressed if I skip it once in awhile.

When it comes to finances, my hubby and I have reduced all of our debts, other than educational loans and one of our cars. So we should feel really good about ourselves; but still, I have the tendency to feel pressured to do even better. I want to increase our savings and investments even more.

And though both of these aspirations are positive, I have to make sure I set realistic goals here as well. Otherwise, I'm likely to feel overwhelmed and discouraged. If I do set manageable financial goals, then I'm more likely to achieve them.

Instead of paying off my new car in three years, it seems reasonable to shoot for four or five years so I can enjoy a few cappuccinos and a few new outfits along the way. Penny pinching and coupon cutting have their pay-offs, but a few luxuries are necessary as well.

Regarding my emotional state, I want to be a stronger, more courageous, and healthier person. But on most days, I simply want to feel more content than I am. And I think if moms are honest, most would say that they feel the same way.

But we want to come off as totally self sufficient and gloriously happy. So we usually respond to someone's help with, "No, I'm fine. I can handle that myself." And I'm not sure why we do it with such uncanny regularity, but we do.

So in this department, I want to accept myself right where I'm at. If I'm not perfectly content with life on Monday, then I want to be at peace with that.

If my level of joy isn't where I'd like it to be by Friday, then that's okay too. I want to pursue my emotional goals graciously as well.

Part of this health for me also means accepting help when I need it. If a friend offers to watch my kids so I can get a break, I need to welcome it. Also, feeling down is a part of life, so I need to stop striving to be Mrs. Happy everywhere I go.

As I learn to take things in stride by setting healthier expectations, I feel that I am achieving a calmer and happier me in all three areas: exercise, money, and emotional well-being.

Share your thoughts about setting more realistic goals. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: emotional, finances, fitness, moms, realistic expectations

Since the Wii was released on November 19th, 2006, it has been a hit with families around the globe. According to Wikipedia, the game console broke the US record for best selling console in a single month in December 2009. And as of January 2011, Nintendo's Wii remains the leader in overall sales over Sony's PlayStation 3 and Microsoft's Xbox 360.

So, why do moms love the Wii? As a mom of three and a recent Wii convert myself, it wins first place in my book. Creating the Mii characters alone provides lots of fun; from eye and hair color to height and skin color, creating your own player is a snap. You can even add a mole to your right cheek or blue eye shadow to your eye lids. Then you can pick your Mii as the character for many of the games that you play.

My son's beloved "QT2 shoes" Mii is a balding, dark-haired, tall and skinny man who wears red lipstick. The kids have even made Mii characters for everyone in our family including one for Nana and Grampy. Grampy's Mii character (in case he ever comes up to play the Wii with us) is a true likeness with gray hair around the sides of his head.

But here are the main reasons I love the Wii. There are six primary benefits of the Wii game system in our household:

First, it gets my middle daughter out of bed (Hallelujah!). Even when loud dance music jams to get the rest of us boogeying into the morning, she lies dead to the world. But as soon as I whisper, "If you get dressed, go potty, and brush your teeth, you can play a little bit of the Wii this morning," she's out of bed like a rocket headed to space.

Second, it involves the whole family. Gillian Sharp of Riverside says that her three kids "love that Mom finally plays video games!" Lisa Heying of Riverside recently purchased a Wii console for her family. She says, "It has been fun interacting as a family playing the Wii."

In our family, it's hard to steal the Wii remotes and the Nunchuks away from our kids, but when Friday night hits, Hubby and I get our game on and the kids move out of the way. My husband always slams me at tennis and I generally pummel him at bowling.

Our littlest one loves the sword fighting on Wii Sports Resort and our two school-aged kids have conquered almost every level and episode of Lego Star Wars. Hubby has been known to stay up until 3AM playing Star Wars by himself, but don't tell his boss that.

A third pro for the Wii is that it helps my shy kids to connect socially. Just ask one of my kids about their level and episode on Lego Star Wars and you might not get them to stop talking. Shy? Not anymore.

My daughter loves to be Luke Skywalker and my son loves to pick R2D2 or Darth Vader for his character. I'm sure their teachers and friends hear the full report on a daily basis, but it's great to see them so excited and engaged.

Fourth, the Wii gives moms fabulous parenting leverage. Obedience has never looked so great in my house. I can now get my kids to clean up their messes within five to ten minutes. And homework gets completed enthusiastically and speedily.

Kristin Hoerger of Beaumont says, "The Wii is definitely a great leveraging tool. When the kids don't want to do their homework, even the mention of taking away their Wii privileges sends them into productive action."

My mantra is: "No Wii unless you... (fill-in-the-blank)." It's kind of like giving treats to puppies, but hey, it works! And it can also be used as a disciplinary tool, such as, "If you don't improve your attitude toward your siblings, you lose the Wii for a week." It's amazing how fast the kids start to share their toys or help one another out.

Fifth, the Wii has lots of family friendly game titles. The Wii's standard-definition display may not compete graphically with the other game consoles, but its extensive library of hundreds of appropriate kid titles gives it a competitive edge. Nintendo intentionally targets a wider family market as opposed to the hard-core gamers, which works well for us.

As a parent of younger kids, you still have to supervise game selection on the Wii, avoiding titles like "House of the Dead" or "Call of Duty" (which exist for the other two systems as well), but you'll run into less inappropriate material in general. For example, you can't buy the notorious "Grand Theft Auto" series on the Wii. With the Wii, you will never have trouble finding a variety of fun games suitable even for young children.

The sixth prop for the Wii is that it gets your family moving. In an era where child obesity runs rampant and adults spend way too much time littering the couch with Cheetos and bean dip, the Wii provides good exercise options.

Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort are two games that come bundled with the console. And now users can purchase Wii Fit as well, which comes with the Wii Balance Board for traditional exercise options, such as yoga, strength training, aerobics, and balance games. You can burn calories while having fun from your own home.

The Wii has been a great fit for our family. Share some thoughts about your family and the Wii. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: family, game consoles, moms, Wii

Self identity is a complicated topic. Not just who we are and the game pieces we play on the chess-board, but the difficulty of the contradictions within those definitions. For example, I am simultaneously a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. Now, I am starting to sound like Jorge Luis Borges' essay called, "Borges y yo," which discusses the variety of roles we fill using the metaphor of hats. But, aside from the Hispanic literary reference, I want to dig deeper, even than Borges' journey many decades ago.

Why is it that as a mom, I can feel peaceful and anxious on the same day, in the same ten minute period even? Why as a wife can I feel incredibly blissful one moment and passionately irate the next? My role as a daughter produces feelings of undying faithfulness in an instant but those of bitter frustration the next. As a sister, I am likely to sense a deep blood connection one month and a sibling rivalry the next. As a friend, I can feel irritable by one response and compelled by her next.

These contradictions can leave me confused to say the least. I think PMS and hormones are mostly to blame. But all kidding aside, even my male audience would agree that emotions can be a dangerous thing. What then do we base our definitions upon? Upon our feelings? Or, upon the commitments we have made over the years to the truths we believe? What about our faith that pulls us into a deeper calling, even more-so than our five senses at times?

For me, my belief in God takes part in this battle of dualisms as well. If I depend upon my feelings when it comes to faith, I can become perplexed about God too. His goodness fills the verdant garden, producing the sweetest oranges and grapes while simultaneously... His idle response to man's evil lurks passively in the shadows as well. For just outside of the garden, a murderer kills an innocent victim. And beyond that scenario, the gentle scent of a rose petal rests upon a peaceful breeze while a violent wind blows down a small village far, far away from there with its incessant attacks.

Most people have problems with the "problem" of evil and the "problem" of suffering or pain. If you've studied even one ounce of philosophy, you know this to be true as well. And yet, it leaves me hoping for more. For the world beyond this one. Where injustices are righted. Where faltered dreams and failures are restored. Where death has no sting. Where sickness has no bite.

Can we hope together for the heaven that awaits us? Is Jesus really preparing a home for you and for me regardless of how we feel about our circumstances now? If so, it should affect the way we evaluate our feelings; and it should certainly determine the way we define ourselves in our current roles. We should see them through His victorious lens, where justice and truth win in the end. But, it's not always easy!

As a multi-faceted being with a plethora of roles rotating round and round like a revolving door, I am challenged amidst these dilemmas. And yet, I am not defeated. My favorite verse from high school comes to mind: "I can do everything through (Christ) who strengthens me!" (Philippians 4:13). I can be a mom at all times, while also balancing my role as a wife, daughter, sister, and friend. I can feel flustered about the goodness and the evil that co-mingle around me on a daily basis. I can feel joyful and sad about the same person or circumstance. I can cry and laugh simultaneously.

And I can even feel mad at God for His slow response to the inequities that we all face. It is okay. It is allowed. We are human now, but will one day be fully transformed into His image. We are of two natures still... but are constantly being renewed into His perfection and into His glory! We can face today and its dualistic nature because we are not alone! We have His help at all times. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" (Matthew 7:7).

Keep the faith! Share your thoughts here. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: daughters, dualism, faith, friends, moms, wives

As my youngest daughter and I drove away from the big-kid drop-off, she asked me a thought provoking question. She inquired, "Mommy when I grow up, will I get to be like you?"

I stopped for a second before answering...thinking to myself and then vocalizing accordingly, "Yes honey...in all the good ways." It makes me ask, "Do I really want her to become like I am?"

Isn't that the sweetest question ever? To think that my 4-year-old wants to be like I am is the most humbling compliment to my entire career as a mom.

And yet, its innocence makes me reflect upon my deficiencies as well. While most people would say that I'm a great mom, those who know me best would admit that I've got my fair share of faults as well.

All this to say, it makes me think. Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily routines of controlled chaos, racing around town like we're on the Indy 500 circuit. Many of us rarely slow down to digest this deeper thought about the kind of parent that we are.

What about you fellow parents and grandparents? Do you want your kids to be like you? How do you speak when you are angry? How do you show your kids you are proud of them? Do they know with certainty that you love them no matter how well they do in school or in sports?

Do you want your kids to emulate your lifestyle and your choices? Are you a forgiving person? Are you a relaxed parent or a total stress-case? If you're like me, you are something in-between? Do you put on the brakes to spend some quality time with your little munchkins?

I want to pause and answer these tough questions because my kids are worth it. When I think about my daughter wanting to "be me" someday, it makes me long to be a better mom today.

I want to spend more meaningful time with my kids. I also desire to focus less on the inconsequential details of life, like a perfectly clean house or an immaculate yard. I'd love to be more patient and loving with my family as well.

A simple question can act as a powerful motivator for a changed life. Hopefully this basic challenge hits home with you today as well. Share some of the attributes you'd like to improve upon. Any advice from the older moms out there? Share your thoughts. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: family, kids, moms

It's important to laugh amongst friends. This rings especially true during challenging times. It seems that everyone I talk to lately has something crazy going on in her life. Whether it's the possibility of a job loss, a child's health issue, or a frustrating marriage, life can feel overwhelming.

Our families are on over-load in a plethora of ways. From school-work to grocery shopping, doctor's visits, or unexpected bills, we just need a break. You know how you occasionally shut down your laptop to restart the system? You need to do this for yourself as well, even when that feels like an impossible goal.

You might question the consequences of shutting down. What if I miss an important email? What if I can't get the call-back number from that life-changing phone-call? What if I can't get the kids' uniforms washed by Friday night for their Saturday games because I was out relaxing?

But, if you don't take time to restart your metaphorical computer: "YOU," then you will crash and burn. You might even have to be sent back to the manufacturer and you better hope that you're still under warranty.

God certainly does have a good sense of humor though. And He readily offers lots of second chances too. But, if you're not quite ready to meet up with Him just yet, you should consider slowing down to laugh more here in the present.

Here are three ways to laugh more. First, you have to actually connect with funny people. If you only have boring friends who never do hilarious things, then make some new friends.

Second, make time to hang out with your funny friends. Go out to breakfast at Cocoa's and order soup and salad for breakfast, just because their blue cheese dressing is so d--n tasty. While you are there, share life together; talk about your kids, your spouse, and your pets.

Third, allow yourself to be funny as well. Laugh at life instead of taking things and people so seriously. A long time ago, a good friend shared a great technique for dealing with irritating people, and it really works.

When someone acts like an idiot, she says, "Oh, it must be their first day..." My husband and I have utilized this over the years, and the chilled-out attitude makes us laugh instead of getting pissed.

The joke might even be on one of your closest friends, who happens to be having a rough day. Maybe she just needs to borrow one of Monopoly's "Get out of Jail Free" cards because she's struggling today. Give a little grace by laughing with her instead of holding a grudge over her.

Raising kids is an obvious source of laughter as well, from all the bizarre things they do on any given day. But family-life gets challenging, so that's where comical friends come in to play. Rely on them instead of going it alone. Rest your head down on their shoulder to shed some tears. And be real, so that they'll be real with you.

At a friend's party over the weekend, we sat around her kitchen table and shared stories while devouring incredibly tasty food. After most guests had left, the faithful six of us laughed so hard that tears flooded our faces.

Aside from the positive emotional effects of laughter, I also burnt some gym-equivalent calories that night from working my tummy and cheek muscles. And while I can't divulge the topic of the humor that night (totally top-secret material), I'm sure you have a few similar memories of your own to fill in the blanks.

Remember to call a good friend when life gets you down. Don't put it off; just send a quick text or email right now. Laugh therapy is what you need to get through this season's trials. Share some of your laugh-out-loud moments. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: family, friends, kids, laughter, moms

As I was walking out the door to take my littlest one to gymnastics, I was struck by a thought-provoking observation. She was holding my over-sized purse and announced, "Mom, I can't carry it; it's too heavy." So, I responded, "Well, just set it down then." It hit me that as a mom, I often do the same thing; I inevitably take on more than I can carry.

At first glance, this might seem insignificant; but, for some of you, it really hits home. My daughter was trying to be sweet by helping me beyond her actual ability. And even though it was making her uncomfortable, she still wanted to lift my bag to show that she could.

As moms, we frequently say, "Sure, I can cut out those 150 cowboy paper hats for the preschool," even though we're getting buried amongst the plethora of laundry piles flooding our hallways. But, this means we don't have time for that workout at the gym.

We say, "Sure, I'll be team-mom for my son's baseball team," even though we have 100s of emails flooding our in-boxes and piles of dishes attacking our kitchen sinks. This simple "Sure..." adds tons of extra tasks to our weekly list: snacks, the team banner, snack-bar, the team party, and the achievement certificates, etc. The result is very little free-time for that overdue hair-cut or manicure!

In addition to cut-outs and team-mom duty, we volunteer once a week at the elementary school so we can show our kids that we care. It feels worthwhile because we get to interact with their friends and the teachers as well. But, when do we get to catch up on the grocery shopping or the checkbook?

Granted, it's rewarding to offer our skills, especially for those of us who work primarily out of the home. For instance, I really enjoy translating documents into Spanish for a teacher who needs to communicate with a Hispanic student's non-English-speaking parents. But, it is one more item on my list, which means I don't get to do that "something else" for myself.

When we do all of these altruistic acts in the names of love and charity, we end up depleted and totally stressed out. Well, some of us...the ones who aren't SUPER MOM! And maybe you never feel tired or strung out, but speaking for the collective "mom" community, I think most of us are running on fumes.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't commit to any of these great services; it would disappoint me to miss out on some of these amazing opportunities. But, we should prioritize by picking a few helpful projects, rather than trying to do them all at the same time.

Some people are really good at saying, "No...I'm just too busy." Others are too sweet and nice all the time; they feel an obligation to say "YES" to everything. So my advice, as on most things, is to FIND BALANCE. Agree to help with the most significant things and people; learn to turn down some of the other requests.

Give yourself permission to let someone else serve this time. You can always sign up for snack-duty the following month or cut out the Valentine's hearts in February instead of turkeys in November. You should enjoy a hot bubble bath or that fabulous novel while it's nice and chilly out, NOW! Or bake that pumpkin pie this morning because you happen to have an extra forty minutes to do so.

Enjoy the upcoming holidays with a little bit more time for yourself. Share how you've learned to carry less by saying "No" to some things. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: balance, family, kids, moms

We all know the beloved classic, Corduroy, by Don Freeman. The one with the red cover with the cute little bear wearing green overalls. You've read it to your kids oodles of times; and while it teaches a poignant message, it doesn't especially touch you personally until the umpteenth time you've read it.

I'm not sure why this day's run through about the little bear made me so reflective. I guess I could say that I've felt overwhelmed as a mom lately and that it was nice to take a break and sit down to read to my kids. Or, you might say that there's so much stress lately with illness in our extended family, car problems, and too many activities to keep up with.

I resonated with Corduroy's "bright eyes" today... I could relate. I too wanted to be loved... to be accepted... to be taken home and hugged just as I was. I wanted my flaws to be over-looked. As he trotted through the department store in desperate search of a replacement button, you could tell he would do anything to repair his lost identity.

We too can feel that sense that we're flawed, unwanted, and unexceptional compared to those around us. Today, I drove my husband's used compact car since our van can't get worked on until tomorrow. As I saw all the shiny new metal drive past me with symbols of significance, I thought of how small I felt inside of my little silver Toyota.

It makes me wonder if owning a brand new Beamer, Mercedes, or Volvo would really make me feel more valuable. I think the answer is "No." But, it's one thing to grasp something cognitively and quite another to own it emotionally. So, when I got home, I took my shoes off... I listened to the rain falling down. I sat down with two of my kids and read this gentle and convicting book: Corduroy.

As a Christian, I am convinced that my value and purpose come from the Lord. He has made me in His image. My worries are His worries if only I'll hand them over to Him. He cares for me, as He cares for the flowers of the field. And though it's odd to compare Jesus to a juvenile female protagonist, the similarities are overwhelming.

Remember how she said to her mom, "Oh, Mommy!...Look! There's the very bear I've always wanted." When she was told "Not today, dear..." by her mom, she didn't give up. She simply had to return home first to collect the sufficient funds from her piggy-bank to purchase the sweet brown bear the following day. If only Corduroy had known that he was so incredibly special from the very moment they first locked eyes.

Instead, he went in search of a button to repair his overalls, so he could fit in with the rest of the toys. He felt inferior to their pristine condition and felt he had to fix himself before his worth could be restored.

In the end, the little girl bought him, fixed him, and provided him with a home that far surpassed his greatest expectations. Lisa said to him, "I like you the way you are...but you'll be more comfortable with your shoulder strap fastened." Then, she began to sew a button on his overalls.

Isn't that how the Lord works with us? He knows our every need, but sometimes we have to wait. We have to rest in His truth, even while He seems so slow to respond. We have to endure while He repairs our hurts, our weaknesses, and our inadequacies.

After reading Corduroy, I felt renewed, restored, and significant. I hope that you can slow down to take a moment with this great literary work. Though written for young ears, it might minister to your "adult" ones as well.

Share your thoughts on this beloved children's book. What's your favorite part? We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: childrenn's book, Corduroy, essay, family, moms

It's hard to believe that it's already mid-October and that a new year quickly approaches. Some of the good intentions of this year's New Year's resolutions have gotten lost behind all of our busy schedules and the stresses that weigh us down. Instead of getting discouraged about the ones you haven't yet accomplished, take heart and read on. My tidbit of encouragement is this: just take a few steps at a time.

Whether you have plans to improve your personal health, your budget, your organization, or a specific relationship in your life, just start small. Rather than striving for something so big that it's basically unattainable, go for a few baby steps in the right direction. Just pick two things that will get you on the right track. Then if that goes well, add a few more steps after that.

If your plan for 2010 was to improve your health, maybe you've taken huge strides toward a healthier you. And if you have, keep working it baby!!! But if you haven't gotten the amazing start you'd planned on, don't fret. Just begin today by picking two basic health goals.

Here are a few ideas to get you started. Try to drink more water by filling a 32 oz container first thing; then keep it somewhere visible so you sip it throughout the day. For some of you, a healthier step could simply be to start taking a good multi-vitamin. Another challenge could be to eat an apple instead of chips or candy as an afternoon snack. If you need more exercise, just shoot for a fifteen minute walk four times per week.

If you met most of your health goals this year, try upping your work-outs by ten minutes. Or if you don't currently lift any weights, throw in a light weight-circuit to the mix as well. You could also pick up a few more supplements other than your multi-vitamin. And you might even consider meeting with a dietitian or your personal physician to undergo some basic tests that ensure your body is getting all that it needs.

Maybe your big challenge was for a better budget. You intended to pay down those d--n credit cards, but instead, they've just gotten even bigger. So, here's how you get started on that one. Pick the card with the smallest balance on it and double the monthly payment until it's paid off. If that seems impossible right now, put the frigging thing in the freezer inside of a huge block of ice. Decide that you won't charge any more on it.

If you're trying to beef up your savings, take baby steps there as well; just add $50-$100 to your account today. You might have to dip into it before October is over, but you might not. The truth is that it's definitely already spent if you never even switch it over in the first place. Maybe next month you can put $200 into savings. If your morning latte is a must, try creating your own at home to save some green.

Even though I didn't set any official resolutions for this year, I definitely wanted to get more organized. But instead of becoming discouraged about how disorganized my house still is at times, I'm gonna focus on what I can get done before this year is over.

Two of my organizational goals deal with the garage and the clutter that floods my kitchen counters. So last week, I cleared out five items from my overcrowded garage; I'll shoot for the same goal this week as well. I reduced a large pile of papers from one of my counter-tops and cut it in half by sorting through it as well. One pile per week does wonders.

Relationships can be tricky for some people because they seem so mysterious at times. Even though you share the same oxygen with that person every day in the same house, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's easy to have a great relationship. If a dish breaks, you can glue it back together. But, if you and your spouse or significant other argue about something, that's harder to fix.

Here are two steps to make this relational goal easier as well. First, try to figure out what makes your loved one feel truly loved. Is it quality time or physical touch? Maybe it's gifts or acts of service. It could even be words of affirmation. So after you decide what his love language is, think of two ways to show him that you love him by using that love language (for more info about these, see Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages).

For example, if it's words of affirmation, leave sticky notes on the bathroom mirror saying, "I love you" or "I think you are great." You could also pump up the text messages this week with sweet reminders of how you feel: "U r a q t pie. lv u. ttyl luv-bug :)."

While these four goals are just a few that come to me, I'm sure there are many others that fill your heart and mind. So, try to keep those simple as well. Take a few steps at a time and before you know it, you'll look back and see that you've already completed your first lap around the track.

Share some thoughts about resolutions that you've mastered or haven't quite attained throughout 2010. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: family, health, moms, money, organization, relationships

As moms, we tend to be so hard on ourselves. We usually don't expect other moms to be perfect, but for some insane reason, we want our lives to be so different from theirs. Maybe it's that we occasionally see the "perfect mom" (as if she's really out there) and we compare ourselves unfairly to her skin, to her paycheck, to her car, to her house, or to her family.

It's as if we're reverting to elementary school. Remember the days when you thought, "Oh if only I had that cool Atari game that so-and-so has?" Or, maybe you pined for Barbie's Dream-house or the entire set of Cabbage Patch dolls. I'm sure as a kid, you realized that you were actually happy without that next acquisition. But somehow as an adult, you linger for too long inside of that grave misconception.

At least, that's how I feel about myself sometimes. It's as if the commercials we see, the internet adds, and the billboards that follow us from one destination to the next all point to one depressing message: "You are not good enough unless you buy this or change that..." So, I'm here to remind you that you are fine just the way you are.

Recently, I hosted a birthday tea party for twelve ballerina fairies. I did my best to prepare the house the way I wanted it. The yard looked pretty good, except for those three things I just couldn't get done. The house looked nice but I wasn't able to clean it as well as I'd hoped. I put up most of the decorations I'd bought, but couldn't find time to put up the fuchsia pink streamers.

You see, the morning of the party, my middle kid snuggled into our bed at 5am asking me if I'd be at her t-ball game that morning. I told her I would have to skip it because I had to clean and decorate the house for the party. Thankfully, a few hours later, when we "officially" greeted the new day, I totally changed my mind about the whole thing.

I asked myself which I'd rather do: look like a Mrs. Cleaver perfect mom in front of my friends and relatives or support my daughter by cheering her on from the stands. Those additional two hours of sleep helped to clarify the matter; the choice was clear. I was going to the game.

I cheered like a psycho who was trying to develop laryngitis in one short hour. I hugged her. I put two Sesame Street band-aids on her elbow after she ate it while playing catcher. I told her the game wasn't official until there was blood. And I mingled with some other fans instead of mopping my kitchen floor. Instead of cleaning my downstairs bathroom. Instead of Windexing my sliding glass doors. Instead of sweeping my front porch.

My conclusion is twofold. I'm glad I made the choice that I did. But somehow, I'm still feeling self-conscious about what the other moms thought of me even though it's three days later. And I'm wondering why I care so much about what someone might have thought about my less than perfectly clean house. I'm also trying to convince myself that my true friends wouldn't judge me for how my house looked anyways.

The other thing about true friends is that as long as you serve them tasty food, they could care less about what your house looks like. So, that's what I did. I served hot dogs in a blanket, blue cheese and cranberry salad, broccoli and mushroom quiches, fresh strawberries and purple grapes, a plethora of cheeses and salami, heart-shaped cookies, lots of chocolate, and twelve different types of hot teas, along with apple juice for the kids.

So, if you are at a place where you are trying to be Mrs. Perfect by showing everyone how great you are, take a few days off. Instead of trying to look like "her" and act like "her" and drive what "she" drives, try to accept yourself for who you are; take a look at your own feet and try to enjoy the ones that God gave you. Take a deep breath and let go of the fabricated ideals that weigh you down.

I hope when others see me being real... they can relax and be themselves back to me as well. My make-up won't ever look like the magazines. My house will never have all the toys put away or all the frames dusted to perfection. Even after I sweep and mop, the kids seem to spill four cups of apple juice within two minutes anyways. My bathrooms refuse to stay clean even after using half of a container of Tilex. And my sweet Labrador sheds like she's trying to stuff a large pillow.

Here's the main challenge: enjoy who you are. And even though it's not easy for me, I'm trying to get better at it. I don't want to strive to be someone that I'm not. I want to be joyful for who I am now. I think getting a house-cleaner, a chauffeur, a cook, and a pet-groomer might help remove some of the pressure as well. But, for now, I'm gonna have to accept a more reasonable set of standards, so I can find peace with myself in the present.

Share your thoughts about what makes you comfortable in your own shoes. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: acceptance, friendship, moms, parenthood

My daughter loves to take pictures. So, when she asks to take some pictures, I somewhat reluctantly hand over my $400 camera while reminding her to be careful. Then, she comes back with shots of everything in my house, ranging from one of me typing at my laptop to ten different angles of my dog's head. She captures images of her feet, our couches and china hutch, along with some unique views from each downstairs room.

Now she's outside as I write, so I can only imagine that I'm going to have a plethora of tree and plant shots, along with hundreds of brightly colored water balloon pictures as well. She's shooting another one of our dog at the moment. What a sweet doggie we've had over these past seven years, who tenderly puts up with so much "love" from our three kids.

One thing that always surprises me when I hand off the camera to one of my kids is the interesting perspective that I gain after viewing their pics. They frequently love to take pictures of our family pictures. It's as if they realize the immeasurable value of capturing the moment. They too sense that life is short. Hence, the plethora of questions about life and death and heaven and quandaries like, "What hurts more, getting eaten by a crocodile or falling into hot lava?"

When we see a picture of a picture, we regain a sense of what's important. To view a picture of a picture of my kids reminds me of how quickly they're growing; it helps me to contemplate the fleetingness of this life. Aren't we all just a picture inside of a bigger picture? The kids seem to get that but sometimes we feel so self important, as if our tiny life makes the world go round.

I think it's because we lose a sense of the vastness around us. We forget to look up at the clouds... to search for a tyrannosaurus-rex or a unicorn. But, sometimes you have to look up in order to gain perspective. You have to take your eyes off of yourself and your current problems or hardships. Instead, we must gaze at the beauty around us and soak in our children's laughter, even when those actions contradict our feelings.

My daughter just said that she loves to look up in the sky to think of our kitty who is now in heaven. She misses him, so she photographs places of his memory to think of him. Just like her, we don't forget our losses or the trials, but we can choose to loosen their grip on our hearts. Instead of living like the dead, we can honor those who are left behind by enjoying the life that we have left to live. We can revel in the mystery of a new day because we are lucky enough to wake up with a fresh start.

So, what does this mean for today? It means that you and I need to get the most out of each morning, afternoon, and evening. We need to forgive, to love, to slow down, to breathe deeply, to take the 30 seconds during our walk to smell the double delight roses that we usually miss.

It means we need to love our kids more graciously as well. To overlook the little things, like their messes, their whiny tantrums, their grumpy faces, and their plethora of "oopses". You know, the 500 spilled cups of water, milk, and juice before 10am (if yours are anything like mine). It means we make the most of what we have right now, absorbing the blessings of today instead of wallowing in the hurts and frustrations of yesterday.

Share some of your fun photo stories here. Any budding photographers in your household? We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: documentary, family, kids, moms, perspective

Life with young kids is stressful, especially when (like most people), you're sprinting out the door at 100 MPH. So, here are five helpful tips to alleviate some of the morning chaos.

First, lay out the kids' clothes the night before. If you have drama-queen daughters, try setting out two outfits so the girls have a choice. While Weather.com is not always accurate, it does help to gauge how they'll need to dress. Go ahead and lay out your own outfit as well. Even though I think I'm a decisive person, this becomes a contradiction of terms, as I stand aimlessly in front of my own plethora of shirts and pants.

Second, set out the kids shoes by the front door. This might seem unnecessary, but it really helps in my family. Instead of hunting for that one sparkly pink tennis shoe at the last minute, it's right there sitting peacefully by its partner. This of course doesn't mean your children won't fuss for a different pair, but it's a good starting point, especially as they get used to this routine.

Third, provide breakfast options that are quick but healthful. Lately, my kids have been addicted to mozzarella cheese sticks. While this might not seem like a traditional morning item, the kids are loving them for breakfast along with a healthy fruit-bar or a yogurt. They eat them quickly; plus, they get a good source of protein as well.

For those of you with starving morning eaters (mine are like me and don't get hungry until about 10AM), prepare a double or triple batch of pancakes on Sunday; then you can toast them throughout the week. Or, as Maura, from the Momarama video panel, suggested, prepare your egg mixture the night before. Then, just toss it into the pan and you're ready to go within minutes.

Fourth, try to connect with each of your kids before walking out the door. Since we're usually racing, it's hard to do. But, try to take a moment to remind your kids that you love them. Give them a few solid hugs and make clear eye contact, which only takes about thirty seconds. The pay-off will be huge and you might even notice improved behavior throughout the day because of this personal connection from the get-go.

During our drive to school, we like to say a short prayer together thanking God for the kids' teachers and asking for a blessing on each of my kids and their friends as well. You could even take a minute to focus on one thing each person is thankful for. These kinds of simple activities help to calm everyone's busy heart before charging into the next objective of the day.

Fifth, remember to take care of yourself. As parents, we tend to put our kids first, while forgetting to care for ourselves. So, make sure to grab a healthy munchie for yourself as well (other than your coffee), like a Fiber One granola bar (it's got 9 grams of fiber and chocolate too). Instead of feeling starved around 11 AM, I greet lunchtime in a more satisfied state and also end up eating less throughout the day.

Remember to center your mind and spirit as well. Try some calming activities for yourself before the day kicks into fifth gear. You can do some relaxing stretches before your morning shower or even some sit-ups and push-ups to get your endorphins flowing. You can also start the day with some meditative texts or some positive thinking exercises. If you as the parent feel better about the day ahead, your kids will as well. Say things to your kids like, "Isn't this a beautiful day, kids?" You can point out the flowers, birds, and blessings around you.

I hope these tips help to ease some of the morning chaos for you and your family. Share some of your suggestions here. We'd love to hear from you.

Labels: kids, moms, mornings, routine

Clearance items are great. Don't you just love finding a killer deal? When I see those three magical words: "Seventy-five percent off," I'm in shopping heaven. But, as moms, we can sometimes feel like we've become the clearance item. So, it's time for no holds barred. Are you ready to spoil yourself a little bit?

But, it's easier said than done because you're buying shoes for the kids, a new collar for the dog, and groceries for everyone and their best friend's sister. It's easy to put yourself last when you're stressed out pinching the copper out of every single penny filling your faded old purse.

But, ladies, it's time to close your eyes to all those sale signs! You must treat yourself right. Go off the deep end! Spoil yourself silly! Okay, not every single minute of every day, but at least once a month. Remember that you are not a clearance item. You are special and you've been working your you-know-what off for the past several years, so remember to live like a queen every once in awhile. Here's how you get started.

First, buy something that makes you feel delicate and feminine. Go to your favorite clothing store and buy that shirt that makes you feel like spring has arrived, the one with frilly ruffles or lace. Or, visit your favorite shoe store and get a new pair of heels that make you feel hot...the totally impractical fire-engine red ones. They're also the ones that will send you to the couch with a sprained ankle, but who cares? You only live once!

Second, plan a lavish meal. You can finally break out your China and those fancy wine glasses that you got as a wedding present twelve years ago. Go for that extravagant lobster meal that you've been salivating over since the January issue of your favorite cooking magazine. Why not? You are worth it.

Get a full-bodied bottle of wine and a decadent dessert as well. Cook some tasty side dishes and go for that amazing sauce you discovered at that specialty food store four months ago, even if it means a second shopping trip just to get it. And you're not allowed to freak out once you discover that it would have been cheaper to eat out at the Ritz Carlton; every once in awhile, you've got to play the part of the international gourmet chef.

Third, pay to get your hair done by a really cool hair stylist. This is an area where I used to squeeze the green out of my dollar bills because I had long hair. So, it was easy to go six months without getting my hair done. And with three small kids, quite frankly, it was tempting to go nine months without caring for my naturally brown locks.

Now, I'm putting some mula into that part of my self-care because I've realized that it makes me feel more energetic and more valuable. Even if it means I have to skimp elsewhere to make up for the added expense, it is worth the effort. Today, I saw my hair stylist and went lighter on my color. Guess what? I love it! All the spring flowers are bursting forth with color and now I am as well!

I still love amazing deals, but it's good to be reminded that I'm not a clearance item. One of my favorite bargain deals was a set of rusty-blue latte mugs from a Crate & Barrel outlet store. They were only 97 cents a piece and they've lasted me like ten years without a single scratch.

In contrast, on the full-price side, I recently paid $75 for a couple of under-garments, where I intentionally avoided the sale-rack. The result was that I felt like a famous person...for those twenty-five minutes of shopping...anyways.

Share some of your favorite bargain deals and a few of your full-price splurges as well. We'd love to hear from you! :)

Labels: clearance, moms, self care

"Who are you?" This is a question I frequently ask myself, while lugging my three kids from place to place. The simple answer: I'm a mom and a wife. But, in truth, I'm so much more than those two precious roles. I'm a writer. I'm an athlete. I'm a spiritual woman, who prays over the plethora of concerns filling our neighborhood and the world beyond. I'm a friend and a servant. I'm a sister and an aunt.

As a mom, it's easy to get lost inside your own sink full of dirty dishes. When you do push the pause button and look around your home, it seems like there's always a floor that needs to be mopped, even though you just scrubbed it a few days ago. The laundry also provides a never-ending cycle of madness: clean, fold, put away, repeat, repeat, repeat. The food menu always has to be reworked as well. You know when you're in the middle of cooking dinner and you realize that the previously "low" sour cream is now completely gone? So, you're off in a jiffy to the grocery store to make sure everyone's chili is nice and creamy.

Demands of your time break the laws of gravity. You no longer have twenty-four hour days. Somehow, you add extra time to each new sunrise, stretching it into a twenty-eight hour day instead. Your mommy-time-machine even allows you to jump back in space and time to pick up the pieces of unfinished projects or unpaid bills. You've also gotten good at staging a Christmas picture after the holidays are over to capture the annual family picture.

As a mom, you make the most of what you have, by sewing a lion's tail back on to extend the use of a Halloween costume. And your healing hug steps in with its magical powers after your little one stumbles and scrapes her knee. Band Aids and lollipops have got nothing on you. Also, when your child feels embarrassed after missing his lines in the school play, your "I love you no matter what" saves the day.

Somehow, life always works out, even when it's hard... because of you. Because of your love. Because of your patience. Because of your sacrifice. Because of your optimism. So, don't give up when you feel like quitting. Don't throw in the towel when your personal goals feel put on hold. Your life is meaningful because you give value and purpose to those around you. Keep up the good work moms!

Labels: identity, moms

Moms are tough. They don't give up. Even when they're too tired to keep on going, they keep on going. Somehow, they find the strength to clean one more bathroom, to cook one more meal, or to fold one more load of never-ending laundry. When the checkbook's low at the end of the month, moms are especially clever at keeping the boat above water, even with the foggy forecast. Pancakes for dinner anyone? Moms possess a special super-gene that allows them to exhibit tenacity and perseverance even when giving up would be easier.

While at the Wild Animal Park yesterday with my sister, we walked about ten miles with my fully-loaded double stroller. When we took the back-way from the zip-line to the tigers and up to the elephants, I sort of ignored the sign that announced, "Steep slope, not intended for strollers or wheelchairs." We were already so far into our path to see the adorable baby elephants; this Herculean hike up the graveled pathway had to be worth it. My sister couldn't believe I actually made it up the steep incline. You know when you have to lock your elbows to your side and dig for the power in your biceps and calves? You just keep breathing and taking one step at a time. It's the kind of hill where jogging actually makes it easier because it gives you the much needed momentum. You reach the top and you're like "How the he-l did I make it to the top?" The simple answer: Because you totally rock!

But this is the same stubborn personality that allows you and myself to stay up late at night with a sick kid or a sick hubby. It's the same spirit that helps us to suit up and slap on a smile when we actually feel like taking a sick day and staying in bed all morning instead. We're troopers and we're awesome at what we do. Moms hold the weight of the world on their shoulders and then they say "Pass me the salt and pepper" while cooking dinner, paying the bills, helping the kids with their homework, and responding to emails.

If you're a mom, I just want to remind you that you're doing a terrific job. No-one is perfect, so you can't be either. Just remember to pat yourself on the back once in awhile and go for the extra topping on your ice cream sundae or the massage certificate over the holidays. You work so hard and you need to reflect on your awesome accomplishments. You always rally and that makes you a winner! Life is really really really hard. Just the fact that you're reading this blog post means that you're up and charging the day. Keep it up!

Share some of your super-mom accomplishments here. We'd love to celebrate with you!

Labels: moms, tenacity

Rethink your quiet time. When it comes to spending time with God, most Christians envision their Bible and journal, along with a cute pen and a floral mug filled with coffee. But, that's not what it has to look like. It can be something a little bit less traditional and still provide growth and meaning.

Rethink your vision of God. If you picture Him as a schoolmaster holding a ruler out to hit your hands, you might assume that he's holding an egg timer while you meet with Him to worship. The truth is, if you believe in Him and walk with Him, then He is with you throughout the entire day. He loves you and accepts your offering no matter how big or small.

You can pray from anywhere. He's not just with you in your organized little study spot. He's with you while you sleep, while you're cleaning your house, and as you taxi your kids around town. You need to remember that God accepts you where you're at. When you pray while washing dishes, He takes your offering as a sweet aroma. When you pray over your kids as you fold their laundry, He listens. As you lift up your financial needs while updating your checkbook, he hears those concerns too.

Mix it up a little. You can worship God just by listening to some encouraging Christian music. That's what I was doing when I became inspired to walk downstairs to write this post. After a long night and a super sick kiddo, I didn't have the energy to read a book let alone murmur out a long list of prayer requests, so I just decided to put on some praise music. WOW! It not only energized my tired spirit, but it reminded me of my identity in Christ and of how I'm not alone. It's pretty cool that great music can center our hearts on the Lord.

Sometimes, you just feel too discouraged to worship God. If your prayer life is taking a hit because you feel bummed out, don't stop praying, just start to thank the Lord. You could even use your daily commute as a time to express thankfulness for your life: your hands, your kids, your spouse, your house, your breath, your brain, etc. As you thank God, peace floods your heart. Disappointments fade. Your eyes are opened to who God is. You remember that He is all that you need for this day.

Serve others. Sometimes, a service project doesn't seem like worship. But, it worked for me and my kids awhile back. We made some care bundles and drove all around our city looking for homeless people. When we found someone in need, we gave him or her a lunch and a drink, along with a rain poncho to stay dry from the rain. We included an encouraging Bible verse to remind that person that God still cares. When you get out there to serve, your eyes see what Jesus sees. It inevitably leads to worship!

Include your kids. Of course you can pray before meals, but why not involve your kids in a time of prayer on the way to school? This is a time where you can pray for their teachers and their friends, along with the staff workers and other parents. Show your kids you care about their lives and that God does too. You could also venture out on a nature walk and ask the kids to point out the cool stuff God has created. Share a basic verse from the Psalms about how God is the Creator of everything.

Labels: kids, moms, quiet time

Moms know that when life throws you a curveball, you either hit it or get out of the way. Sometimes, events occur that are simply out of your control. When you've done all you can do to handle a situation, you long for a resolution; however, you might feel powerless to get one. You can't handle the curveball since it's way too far inside. So, you have to do your best to dodge its attack.

Maybe you have a financial need that goes unmet. You try to tackle the crazy ball coming at you but you're not quite sure how to pull it off. You take it one day at a time and do your best to cut back in other areas of spending. Ultimately, you conclude that you are way too blessed to complain about what you don't have. You get caught out on your front foot, but you still hit a double in the gap.

A neighbor holds problematic parties for most of the summer and you excitedly await the fall to catch up on some much needed zzzzs. Your respectful approach to set boundaries and limits on the troublesome noise during week-nights results in further mistreatment. Curveballs are hard to read, so, you step into the batter's box and dig in. You just do your best to survive this one.

Sometimes, someone's health continues to throw an unruly pitch in your direction. Your response is to get the best medical help possible and to try to maintain perspective, even when that's really hard to do. You go to a friend. You share your heart. You cry. This one might feel like a fastball, but the pitch is yet to be determined.

Being a mom is difficult because life is hard. The ball is thrown and you see that you and the pitcher have gotten your signals crossed up. You're thinking curveball, but it jumps up and then down and then does something else totally unexpected. You don't anticipate certain hardships, like the car breaking down or like a good friend passing away. You don't expect someone to hurt you in a totally undeserved way. But curveballs and even a few knuckleballs are just part of the game.

As moms, we need to be there for those experiencing trials during this tough season. Let's lend a hand. Even better, let's lend a pair of listening ears. Sometimes, a friend demonstrates true love just by letting you know that you're not crazy and that life is going to be okay.

Any thoughts on how to show someone you care? Any curveball stories you've survived? Share them here.

Labels: curveball, life, moms

Have you ever walked into a forest and felt you had ventured upon the pages of your favorite book? This past weekend, I felt I had walked into C.S. Lewis' magical world of Narnia. My family and I drove up to Oak Glen for the afternoon and came upon a deserted forest. We picked some wild blackberries and our kids climbed a variety of trees. My husband and I lounged on a soft blanket while watching the children play. We took pictures and laughed under the tranquil trees that provided shade from the harsh afternoon sun.

And then, as if a black cloud had blown in from the east, a wild mountain lion raced out into the clearing. My husband jumped up and told my kids to run toward me. I made my mouth look as big as possible showing my razor-like teeth to the wild beast. Meanwhile, our kids screamed and ran toward the car. This was unwise, as the mountain lion instantly targeted them as objects of prey. My husband, who has been trained in karate, launched on top of the cat and took it down in one valiant leap. Daddy saved the day!

Just like my tall-tale, it can feel like you're living in the middle of a story sometimes. But, it's no fun when you feel like you're visiting the title page or the table of contents rather than the pages clothed with adventure and excitement. Just like the forest we came upon, life is full of daring details just waiting to be told.

Sometimes the monotony towards the end of summer gets us down. That's why we have to spice up the day with a little bit of creativity. As moms, we have to remember that real life can co-mingle with fiction. To combat the end-of-summer blues, you could set up a picnic blanket in an imaginary forest or a real one like we did, for telling stories about wild talking beasts. Perhaps you could turn the couch into a shipwreck full of fish-loving pirates. What about a bunk-bed island with imaginary palm trees, dolphins, and whales? You could even keep things cool by turning your pool into an enchanted pond full of mermaids and monsters.

If your house is getting boring, then take your kids on a hike up to Mount Rubidoux or venture out on a bike ride around Lake Perris. You could always try out Oak Glen as well. The apple pie is delicious and the imaginary mountain lions are pretty friendly too. If you're going a bit stir-crazy, as I have been, then mix it up a little and keep things fun! We'll blink and the school-year will be upon us. Just a few more weeks to go!

Labels: kids, moms, monotony, summer

To "pray without ceasing"...what does that even mean? I know the Apostle Paul was a good guy and he wouldn't mislead us unintentionally, but his words from the Bible confuse me (found in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 and in Ephesians 6:18).

As women, we tend to worry a ton. Unfortunately, praying becomes a common extension of that worry. So, when we are called to "pray without ceasing" it can seem like a stressful charge. To worry without ceasing...how can that be what God wants?

I've taught my kids to pray with thankful hearts. Because of this, we form our prayers out loud by saying, "Thank you God that you care for this or that specific thing." The problem is that it's easier to pray that way in front of my kids, but on my own, I'm like "Pleeeeeease God, help with this or that."

During my own private prayer-time I frequently beg like a whiny brat for what I think I need the most. Most of these petitions are honorable ones; however, my attitude becomes weary and repetitive like a child asking for some cotton candy at the circus.

I find it especially difficult to "pray without ceasing" when I don't see any results. What about the sour family relationship that refuses to mend itself no matter how hard I try to put it back together? What about practical needs like finances, our kids' health, or even our own health? If God cares so much, then why is he so slow?

I know we can't change Scripture, but I've decided for my own spiritual development to rethink Paul's words. Since the instruction to "pray without ceasing" makes me mindful of all of my troubles, I'm going to retrain myself to read it as "trust without ceasing."

This means re-evaluating what I get out of prayer. If prayer is mainly a place I go to "get" something in return, I may continue to be disappointed. In contrast, if I focus the time on Who I am with, by addressing the time reverently with praise and adoration, I feel it will lead to trust. As I learn to believe that God is trustworthy, then I think my prayer-time will conclude with peace instead of strife.

Labels: moms, prayer, worry

As moms, we want to fit in just like everyone else. We want to look good as well. But, what are we telling our kids when we tweak our bodies to look just like Jessica Simpson, Megan Fox, and Angelina Jolie? Are risky plastic surgeries really necessary in order to be happy? The pressures and motivations are understandable, but ultimately the glamor-tweaking seems unwise.

Women should feel appreciated for wearing the skin they're in. Not that anyone can actually attain perfection, but it seems that some people have made that their new goal. When women get the idea that they have to fill their breasts with silicon in order to be good enough, it makes me wonder if the feminists have really progressed at all. No more wrinkles. Bigger breasts. A tummy tuck, perhaps?

What message are women sending to their kids if they themselves are unable to appreciate their own god-given bodies? To their daughters, they're telling them that outward beauty is the most important thing for women, even at the expense of their own health. No surgery is without risks, so taking on an unnecessary surgery just to look "more beautiful" should make women think twice.

These women are also creating an unrealistic and unimportant standard for their son's future search for a mate. She establishes a perfectionistic image of a woman's beauty that is void of true value. Attractive and large breasted women can certainly possess virtuous traits, but moms need to show their sons that they place a higher value on the internal rather than on the external attributes of a woman.

Women certainly have the right to make their own choices about plastic surgery. Some women opt for restorative surgery after a mastectomy, which seems like a totally different bag of beans. However, for those considering plastic surgery for vanity's sake, I hope that they will begin to see their true value and contribution to society.

Moms are beautiful, loving, and intelligent creatures. They certainly don't need a surgery or an alteration to gain more self-worth in my book. Share your thoughts here.

Labels: moms, plastic surgery