Friday, January 28, 2011
Realistic expectations
As moms, we frequently set the bar very high. And then we can't even reach it ourselves. For some, it might be about a dietary goal, an educational pursuit, or a volunteering endeavor. For me, I struggle to set realistic expectations in these three areas: physical fitness, finances, and emotional wellness.
In the area of exercise, I'm fairly fit already, but I aim higher than my body can handle; subsequently, I pay for it by injury or stress later. For example, I try to get to the gym four to five times a week.
But, I usually only make it about two to three times per week since my mom-duties pull me in a hundred different directions. So I tend to jam in more miles and longer weight circuits instead of being gentle on my body.
Recently, I have found a more attainable goal for myself. I'm now running four to five times a week for shorter distances. Instead of aiming for seven miles on the treadmill, I'm upping my frequency out on the road, but limiting it to two miles instead.
The result is more peace and satisfaction along with healthier shins. I still squeeze the gym-time into my schedule, but now I don't feel as stressed if I skip it once in awhile.
When it comes to finances, my hubby and I have reduced all of our debts, other than educational loans and one of our cars. So we should feel really good about ourselves; but still, I have the tendency to feel pressured to do even better. I want to increase our savings and investments even more.
And though both of these aspirations are positive, I have to make sure I set realistic goals here as well. Otherwise, I'm likely to feel overwhelmed and discouraged. If I do set manageable financial goals, then I'm more likely to achieve them.
Instead of paying off my new car in three years, it seems reasonable to shoot for four or five years so I can enjoy a few cappuccinos and a few new outfits along the way. Penny pinching and coupon cutting have their pay-offs, but a few luxuries are necessary as well.
Regarding my emotional state, I want to be a stronger, more courageous, and healthier person. But on most days, I simply want to feel more content than I am. And I think if moms are honest, most would say that they feel the same way.
But we want to come off as totally self sufficient and gloriously happy. So we usually respond to someone's help with, "No, I'm fine. I can handle that myself." And I'm not sure why we do it with such uncanny regularity, but we do.
So in this department, I want to accept myself right where I'm at. If I'm not perfectly content with life on Monday, then I want to be at peace with that.
If my level of joy isn't where I'd like it to be by Friday, then that's okay too. I want to pursue my emotional goals graciously as well.
Part of this health for me also means accepting help when I need it. If a friend offers to watch my kids so I can get a break, I need to welcome it. Also, feeling down is a part of life, so I need to stop striving to be Mrs. Happy everywhere I go.
As I learn to take things in stride by setting healthier expectations, I feel that I am achieving a calmer and happier me in all three areas: exercise, money, and emotional well-being.
Share your thoughts about setting more realistic goals. We'd love to hear from you. :)
In the area of exercise, I'm fairly fit already, but I aim higher than my body can handle; subsequently, I pay for it by injury or stress later. For example, I try to get to the gym four to five times a week.
But, I usually only make it about two to three times per week since my mom-duties pull me in a hundred different directions. So I tend to jam in more miles and longer weight circuits instead of being gentle on my body.
Recently, I have found a more attainable goal for myself. I'm now running four to five times a week for shorter distances. Instead of aiming for seven miles on the treadmill, I'm upping my frequency out on the road, but limiting it to two miles instead.
The result is more peace and satisfaction along with healthier shins. I still squeeze the gym-time into my schedule, but now I don't feel as stressed if I skip it once in awhile.
When it comes to finances, my hubby and I have reduced all of our debts, other than educational loans and one of our cars. So we should feel really good about ourselves; but still, I have the tendency to feel pressured to do even better. I want to increase our savings and investments even more.
And though both of these aspirations are positive, I have to make sure I set realistic goals here as well. Otherwise, I'm likely to feel overwhelmed and discouraged. If I do set manageable financial goals, then I'm more likely to achieve them.
Instead of paying off my new car in three years, it seems reasonable to shoot for four or five years so I can enjoy a few cappuccinos and a few new outfits along the way. Penny pinching and coupon cutting have their pay-offs, but a few luxuries are necessary as well.
Regarding my emotional state, I want to be a stronger, more courageous, and healthier person. But on most days, I simply want to feel more content than I am. And I think if moms are honest, most would say that they feel the same way.
But we want to come off as totally self sufficient and gloriously happy. So we usually respond to someone's help with, "No, I'm fine. I can handle that myself." And I'm not sure why we do it with such uncanny regularity, but we do.
So in this department, I want to accept myself right where I'm at. If I'm not perfectly content with life on Monday, then I want to be at peace with that.
If my level of joy isn't where I'd like it to be by Friday, then that's okay too. I want to pursue my emotional goals graciously as well.
Part of this health for me also means accepting help when I need it. If a friend offers to watch my kids so I can get a break, I need to welcome it. Also, feeling down is a part of life, so I need to stop striving to be Mrs. Happy everywhere I go.
As I learn to take things in stride by setting healthier expectations, I feel that I am achieving a calmer and happier me in all three areas: exercise, money, and emotional well-being.
Share your thoughts about setting more realistic goals. We'd love to hear from you. :)
Labels: emotional, finances, fitness, moms, realistic expectations
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tenacious Pursuits
Life is passion and passion is persistence. The truth is that most dreamers are just flat out stubborn. They won't give up no matter what the odds. And that's not a bad thing, you know. Goal-setters don't let the opposition get in their way. Sure, they take their fair share of hits, just like anyone else, but they get back up, 100% of the time.
Think of Lindsey Vonn. Her Olympic summary could be described as "She got the gold and fell down a ton," but the part we'll remember the most is that she got the gold. She's a stellar female skier and she knows it. I'm sure there were days when she felt like throwing in the towel, sleeping in, or skipping out on a plane flight for yet one more international competition. But, she didn't give up, not even when she injured her shin and broke her pinky. Instead, she faced her challenges head on.
Most of us will never make it to the Olympics because we're just too old and out of shape. But, even in our golden days, we just weren't good enough to compete with the athletic gods and goddesses. Even so, we need to pursue life with tenacity and fervor. Currently, I'm pursuing five personal goals:
First, I'm trying to keep myself and my family physically fit. Included in this is a balanced diet with tons of fruits and veggies, along with some wiggle room for a moderate amount of sweets. Likewise, my family and I are increasing our outdoor activities: walking around the neighborhood, bouncing on the trampoline, or just kicking the soccer ball in the backyard together. I'm not convinced that risky diet pills or fancy prepaid meals are the trick. The good old fashioned adage "You are what you eat" seems to make a lot of sense. And the exercise helps to burn off those nagging midnight brownies as well.
The cardio is muy importante because it lifts your spirit as you burn those calories. Sometimes I say to my husband, "I'm just not sure if I'm up for the gym this evening" to which he responds, "You should definitely go to your class, hon..." It's because he knows that I'm more energetic and encouraged after I've had a chance to rev up the endorphins.
I've recently questioned the sanity of my fitness goals as I train for a half marathon and a sprint triathlon; but, honestly... just having the dream makes me get on the damn treadmill in the first place. Every time I pass that six mile marker, I'm like a giddy teenager who just drank three Mountain Dews. My throbbing shins don't hurt at all (okay, they actually kill) and I'm even more motivated for my next run.
My second tenacious pursuit is my faith. My family has attended the same church for the past nine years. During this season we have said goodbye to some great friends who have moved out of state. We have also wished blessings upon our previous pastor who transferred into another venue of ministry. And we have weathered a variety of personal storms with church-friends and family members over the years. But no matter how our emotions and circumstances have oscillated, we have upheld our beliefs and our spiritual virtues. As a result, we have been strengthened and uplifted.
Part of my faith goal includes a dream to pursue singing. Talk about a reward and a blessing to my own spirit. The neat thing is that God actually ministers to me as I offer up praises to him. Also, it's such a treat to look out into the congregation and to see others lifting up their hearts and songs to God as well. They seem so free and joyful and I feel that way as well.
In addition to singing, I'm committed to learning to play the guitar. This way, I can contribute even more during my spiritual act of worship. It's going to involve lots of hard work and a good dust-cloth for my guitar because it's been awhile since I've practiced it consistently; but, it's going to be awesome! I may only be able to play one or two songs with the rest of the band, but that's okay with me, as long as they're cool with that.
My third goal during this season of my life is to be passionate about my family. Before having my three kids, I gave up the completion of a doctoral program. Some would mock this trade as a foolish one. But, instead of balancing five dozen eggs at one time, I decided to stay at home full-time while my husband has focused on his career- goals. It has been a challenging task, the hardest job I've ever undertaken. However, as I have made my family my biggest priority, I have reaped the greatest rewards.
I'm the one who got to see their first steps. I'm the one who gets to observe their chocolate covered faces after hot fudge sundaes. I get to smile and laugh out loud at their incredibly silly jokes. Most importantly, I'm the one who's there to kiss their crocodile tears away when they get hit in the head with the swing or when they lose their Transformer stickers. So far, it's been the right choice for me.
My fourth stubborn objective is to take charge of my finances. With three young children, it's easy to crank up the spending on the Master Card. That goes without saying, right? Most of you are like, "Yeah, it was easy enough to use the stinking thing even before having kids." There's always something to buy: new socks, new jeans, new books, school supplies, sports gear, movie tickets, and all those convenient take-out dinners. YIKES! All of a sudden you check your online statement and you're like, "How did we already charge $500 this month?"
Somewhere between that car repair, the Boy's Scout snack, and the t-ball party, the checkbook ends up a bit short. But, I'm committed to paying off all of our debts! Recently, we decided to sell a rental property (even in this less than totally solvent market) so that we could liquidate some of our cash to pay off our credit card and my student loans. When we call the credit card company to say, "Please cancel our card" we are going to have a bonfire while drinking some tangy margaritas BABY! It's gonna feel good.
The last directive is to have fun. With life focused on fitness, faith, family, and finances, you definitely can't forget to have a good time. Life is short and enjoying the ride is part of the journey. I say this in the context of having fun responsibly, of course. :) Truthfully though, some people get way too caught up in the details and miss out on the big picture. Our kids let loose, so why shouldn't we? If they don't like how their socks bunch up in their shoes, they take them off. And when they feel like running through the grass barefoot, they do. When they hear music, they just start to boogie like no-one is watching. We need to follow their lead on this one!
Even if it means going on a two week camping trip this summer instead of vacationing at the Hyatt, we've gotta catch up on some down time. Sure, most of us would prefer the Hyatt and its luxurious spa and fluffy pillows, but it doesn't exactly compare to an ocean-side campsite either. But, you don't have to wait for that summer vacation to start relaxing. Rent that movie! Go for that midnight stroll in your pajamas, just so you can say that you did. Eat tacos with chocolate syrup on them. There are no rules with food, as long as it tastes good. Just go for it!
If you're not living, then it means you're dead. Don't let people get confused about that! Help people to see what life is about by pursuing your own passions and dreams. You can do it! Lindsey accomplished her goals, even though it was hard work. You can too!
Think of Lindsey Vonn. Her Olympic summary could be described as "She got the gold and fell down a ton," but the part we'll remember the most is that she got the gold. She's a stellar female skier and she knows it. I'm sure there were days when she felt like throwing in the towel, sleeping in, or skipping out on a plane flight for yet one more international competition. But, she didn't give up, not even when she injured her shin and broke her pinky. Instead, she faced her challenges head on.
Most of us will never make it to the Olympics because we're just too old and out of shape. But, even in our golden days, we just weren't good enough to compete with the athletic gods and goddesses. Even so, we need to pursue life with tenacity and fervor. Currently, I'm pursuing five personal goals:
First, I'm trying to keep myself and my family physically fit. Included in this is a balanced diet with tons of fruits and veggies, along with some wiggle room for a moderate amount of sweets. Likewise, my family and I are increasing our outdoor activities: walking around the neighborhood, bouncing on the trampoline, or just kicking the soccer ball in the backyard together. I'm not convinced that risky diet pills or fancy prepaid meals are the trick. The good old fashioned adage "You are what you eat" seems to make a lot of sense. And the exercise helps to burn off those nagging midnight brownies as well.
The cardio is muy importante because it lifts your spirit as you burn those calories. Sometimes I say to my husband, "I'm just not sure if I'm up for the gym this evening" to which he responds, "You should definitely go to your class, hon..." It's because he knows that I'm more energetic and encouraged after I've had a chance to rev up the endorphins.
I've recently questioned the sanity of my fitness goals as I train for a half marathon and a sprint triathlon; but, honestly... just having the dream makes me get on the damn treadmill in the first place. Every time I pass that six mile marker, I'm like a giddy teenager who just drank three Mountain Dews. My throbbing shins don't hurt at all (okay, they actually kill) and I'm even more motivated for my next run.
My second tenacious pursuit is my faith. My family has attended the same church for the past nine years. During this season we have said goodbye to some great friends who have moved out of state. We have also wished blessings upon our previous pastor who transferred into another venue of ministry. And we have weathered a variety of personal storms with church-friends and family members over the years. But no matter how our emotions and circumstances have oscillated, we have upheld our beliefs and our spiritual virtues. As a result, we have been strengthened and uplifted.
Part of my faith goal includes a dream to pursue singing. Talk about a reward and a blessing to my own spirit. The neat thing is that God actually ministers to me as I offer up praises to him. Also, it's such a treat to look out into the congregation and to see others lifting up their hearts and songs to God as well. They seem so free and joyful and I feel that way as well.
In addition to singing, I'm committed to learning to play the guitar. This way, I can contribute even more during my spiritual act of worship. It's going to involve lots of hard work and a good dust-cloth for my guitar because it's been awhile since I've practiced it consistently; but, it's going to be awesome! I may only be able to play one or two songs with the rest of the band, but that's okay with me, as long as they're cool with that.
My third goal during this season of my life is to be passionate about my family. Before having my three kids, I gave up the completion of a doctoral program. Some would mock this trade as a foolish one. But, instead of balancing five dozen eggs at one time, I decided to stay at home full-time while my husband has focused on his career- goals. It has been a challenging task, the hardest job I've ever undertaken. However, as I have made my family my biggest priority, I have reaped the greatest rewards.
I'm the one who got to see their first steps. I'm the one who gets to observe their chocolate covered faces after hot fudge sundaes. I get to smile and laugh out loud at their incredibly silly jokes. Most importantly, I'm the one who's there to kiss their crocodile tears away when they get hit in the head with the swing or when they lose their Transformer stickers. So far, it's been the right choice for me.
My fourth stubborn objective is to take charge of my finances. With three young children, it's easy to crank up the spending on the Master Card. That goes without saying, right? Most of you are like, "Yeah, it was easy enough to use the stinking thing even before having kids." There's always something to buy: new socks, new jeans, new books, school supplies, sports gear, movie tickets, and all those convenient take-out dinners. YIKES! All of a sudden you check your online statement and you're like, "How did we already charge $500 this month?"
Somewhere between that car repair, the Boy's Scout snack, and the t-ball party, the checkbook ends up a bit short. But, I'm committed to paying off all of our debts! Recently, we decided to sell a rental property (even in this less than totally solvent market) so that we could liquidate some of our cash to pay off our credit card and my student loans. When we call the credit card company to say, "Please cancel our card" we are going to have a bonfire while drinking some tangy margaritas BABY! It's gonna feel good.
The last directive is to have fun. With life focused on fitness, faith, family, and finances, you definitely can't forget to have a good time. Life is short and enjoying the ride is part of the journey. I say this in the context of having fun responsibly, of course. :) Truthfully though, some people get way too caught up in the details and miss out on the big picture. Our kids let loose, so why shouldn't we? If they don't like how their socks bunch up in their shoes, they take them off. And when they feel like running through the grass barefoot, they do. When they hear music, they just start to boogie like no-one is watching. We need to follow their lead on this one!
Even if it means going on a two week camping trip this summer instead of vacationing at the Hyatt, we've gotta catch up on some down time. Sure, most of us would prefer the Hyatt and its luxurious spa and fluffy pillows, but it doesn't exactly compare to an ocean-side campsite either. But, you don't have to wait for that summer vacation to start relaxing. Rent that movie! Go for that midnight stroll in your pajamas, just so you can say that you did. Eat tacos with chocolate syrup on them. There are no rules with food, as long as it tastes good. Just go for it!
If you're not living, then it means you're dead. Don't let people get confused about that! Help people to see what life is about by pursuing your own passions and dreams. You can do it! Lindsey accomplished her goals, even though it was hard work. You can too!
Labels: faith, family, finances, fitness, fun
