Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Excerpt #8, from pages 41-43 of "Stream of Consciousness"
“So how’s the nature essay going Renee?” Jadan asked while peeking over at my screen.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I finished it. Want to read it?” I asked enthusiastically.
“Of course, fire it on over to me. Here’s my email. I don’t think you have it.”
“Okay, I’ll just attach it as a Word doc. so the format doesn’t get all messed up,” I suggested.
“Lemme know when you get it,” I requested.
“Just a sec. My computer is smoking fast… so it should be here almost instantly. Yep, got it! Okay, let me check it out,” he said with an energetic look on his face.
Jadan sat reading for what seemed like an eternity. I didn’t usually get editorial feed-back from local acquaintances since I much preferred most editors’ harshness. At least, they just tell you like it is. I always hated when someone acted like something was better than it really was. Editors never did that, so it kept for an honest playing field. So, I distracted myself nervously with a few texts while Jadan surveyed the words upon his screen. And then, he reached over and gave me a hi-five. So, I hi-fived back, which felt kind of childish, but I think he liked my essay, which was positive. The least I could do was to return the praise. And it did feel good to be done with that piece.
“So you thought it was okay,” I inquired apprehensively.
“It totally rocks Renee. You have a way with words and it pulls out all this literary zeal from my core… takes me back to my general education stuff from college, the literature and all that writing I used to have to do just to get out of there with my B.A. It’s truly poetic,” he said smiling into my tired hazel eyes.
“Okay, for real, or are you just feeding me a line?” I asked.
“For real. And now, you get to start your book.”
“Oh, I already did. I finished this piece awhile ago, so I’m actually already on page four of my book. But I won’t show you that yet. It’s totally raw and unedited. But, I have a tentative title: Hug the Grass,” I said showing him the title. Then I shut my screen and packed up my stuff so I could join up with my family in a couple of hours after a plethora of quick errands.
“Are you heading home already?” he asked.
“Yep. I've got to make a few stops and grab some grub for dinner. Then, I’ll join Eric and the kids at home and see how Danielle is feeling. If you want us at seven for dinner, that should work, but I’m kind of looking into a vacation for next week, so I might be busy working out some of those details…” I said forgetting how quickly Jen’s cruise was approaching.
“A vacation? You’re planning one for next week or something?” he asked quizzically.
“Yes! I know it sounds crazy, but I was thinking of going on that cruise with Jen and Jared. I mean, Eric and I could really use a vacation. And since he teaches at the University he can check and post assignments online from abroad and my mom totally misses the kids. So I actually think it might work out. I just need to convince Eric first and get a hold of Jen’s itinerary so I can book the rooms on the right ship. But, it pretty much seems like a no-brainer. This way I can totally check on Jen and make sure Jared doesn’t throw her over-board. He’d never do something nuts like that with witnesses so close by,” I said like it was the most brilliant plan ever invented.
“Wow! That’s really crazy Renee,” he said wide-eyed.
“Yeah, I know it sounds nuts. But I started getting all jealous, feeling like it should be me going on the cruise instead of Jen. And then it hit me. I could surprise her and Eric too and it could actually turn out to be really fun… a double date of sorts.”
“Well, we could just cancel the double date this weekend and Molly and I could join you as well. A cruise does sound really fun and I could still do some of my trades from the ship too. Molly would love it. I could just put the tickets in a card for her to open after dinner,” he said enthusiastically.
“The more the merrier. Why the heck not,” I laughed.
“Okay, give me your number real quick so I can text you for some of the details,” he said pulling out his IPhone.
“Sure, just text me and then I’ll have yours as well,” I said pulling out my Evo.
I packed up my stuff as speedily as a pelican diving for fish. And I was off. I waved goodbye to Jadan and told him I’d email him the cruise itinerary and flight info once I obtained the goods from Jen. It did seem like a pretty off-the-wall plan. And it did have a few risks. First, Jen might end up being totally pissed at me. But she was my best friend after all. So a back-up plan was in order. I’d just show her the new Roxy sarong and flip flops I’d buy her later today and she’d adjust to the idea in no time. She’d probably even see it as an emotionally bonding trip: a triple date, how fun!
To convince Eric, I’d mention the tropical margaritas, the fun dancing, and the snorkeling, which will remind him of our honeymoon in Maui. Then, I’d tell him how I’d already emailed his boss and how I’d lined up babysitting with my mom. Then, he’ll race at me with a passionate kiss and love me even more than he already does. My back-up plan with him will be to push the early anniversary angle while reminding him of how we haven’t taken a week-long trip without the kids in years. Thirteen years is coming up and we missed going to England for our tenth… so he’ll totally go for it!
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I finished it. Want to read it?” I asked enthusiastically.
“Of course, fire it on over to me. Here’s my email. I don’t think you have it.”
“Okay, I’ll just attach it as a Word doc. so the format doesn’t get all messed up,” I suggested.
“Lemme know when you get it,” I requested.
“Just a sec. My computer is smoking fast… so it should be here almost instantly. Yep, got it! Okay, let me check it out,” he said with an energetic look on his face.
Jadan sat reading for what seemed like an eternity. I didn’t usually get editorial feed-back from local acquaintances since I much preferred most editors’ harshness. At least, they just tell you like it is. I always hated when someone acted like something was better than it really was. Editors never did that, so it kept for an honest playing field. So, I distracted myself nervously with a few texts while Jadan surveyed the words upon his screen. And then, he reached over and gave me a hi-five. So, I hi-fived back, which felt kind of childish, but I think he liked my essay, which was positive. The least I could do was to return the praise. And it did feel good to be done with that piece.
“So you thought it was okay,” I inquired apprehensively.
“It totally rocks Renee. You have a way with words and it pulls out all this literary zeal from my core… takes me back to my general education stuff from college, the literature and all that writing I used to have to do just to get out of there with my B.A. It’s truly poetic,” he said smiling into my tired hazel eyes.
“Okay, for real, or are you just feeding me a line?” I asked.
“For real. And now, you get to start your book.”
“Oh, I already did. I finished this piece awhile ago, so I’m actually already on page four of my book. But I won’t show you that yet. It’s totally raw and unedited. But, I have a tentative title: Hug the Grass,” I said showing him the title. Then I shut my screen and packed up my stuff so I could join up with my family in a couple of hours after a plethora of quick errands.
“Are you heading home already?” he asked.
“Yep. I've got to make a few stops and grab some grub for dinner. Then, I’ll join Eric and the kids at home and see how Danielle is feeling. If you want us at seven for dinner, that should work, but I’m kind of looking into a vacation for next week, so I might be busy working out some of those details…” I said forgetting how quickly Jen’s cruise was approaching.
“A vacation? You’re planning one for next week or something?” he asked quizzically.
“Yes! I know it sounds crazy, but I was thinking of going on that cruise with Jen and Jared. I mean, Eric and I could really use a vacation. And since he teaches at the University he can check and post assignments online from abroad and my mom totally misses the kids. So I actually think it might work out. I just need to convince Eric first and get a hold of Jen’s itinerary so I can book the rooms on the right ship. But, it pretty much seems like a no-brainer. This way I can totally check on Jen and make sure Jared doesn’t throw her over-board. He’d never do something nuts like that with witnesses so close by,” I said like it was the most brilliant plan ever invented.
“Wow! That’s really crazy Renee,” he said wide-eyed.
“Yeah, I know it sounds nuts. But I started getting all jealous, feeling like it should be me going on the cruise instead of Jen. And then it hit me. I could surprise her and Eric too and it could actually turn out to be really fun… a double date of sorts.”
“Well, we could just cancel the double date this weekend and Molly and I could join you as well. A cruise does sound really fun and I could still do some of my trades from the ship too. Molly would love it. I could just put the tickets in a card for her to open after dinner,” he said enthusiastically.
“The more the merrier. Why the heck not,” I laughed.
“Okay, give me your number real quick so I can text you for some of the details,” he said pulling out his IPhone.
“Sure, just text me and then I’ll have yours as well,” I said pulling out my Evo.
I packed up my stuff as speedily as a pelican diving for fish. And I was off. I waved goodbye to Jadan and told him I’d email him the cruise itinerary and flight info once I obtained the goods from Jen. It did seem like a pretty off-the-wall plan. And it did have a few risks. First, Jen might end up being totally pissed at me. But she was my best friend after all. So a back-up plan was in order. I’d just show her the new Roxy sarong and flip flops I’d buy her later today and she’d adjust to the idea in no time. She’d probably even see it as an emotionally bonding trip: a triple date, how fun!
To convince Eric, I’d mention the tropical margaritas, the fun dancing, and the snorkeling, which will remind him of our honeymoon in Maui. Then, I’d tell him how I’d already emailed his boss and how I’d lined up babysitting with my mom. Then, he’ll race at me with a passionate kiss and love me even more than he already does. My back-up plan with him will be to push the early anniversary angle while reminding him of how we haven’t taken a week-long trip without the kids in years. Thirteen years is coming up and we missed going to England for our tenth… so he’ll totally go for it!
Labels: excerpt #7, Stream of Consciousness
