Mariposa Kisses (aka Dianne's Blog)

When a friend goes through a tough time, remember to reach out to her, even in the awkward moments. It's always easy to shoot the breeze about favorite tv shows, to discuss next year's teacher picks, or to complain about how messy your house is. But what do you do about the friend with a terminally ill child? What about the one whose husband leaves her? How about the neighbor whose husband died a year ago, but she still grieves?

My challenge to you is direct and forthright: be a good friend. One of my close friends has a very sick child who is having surgery this weekend to remove serious tumors connected up with his incurable disease. Sometimes, I don't know how to help even though I want to be there for her. But today, my instincts kicked in as I listened to her, hugged her, and prayed with her. It can feel strange to enter into those private moments with other people, but it's worthwhile. That's what makes you a true friend.

When my neighbor lost her husband a year ago, we decided to show her we cared by serving her with love and assistance. When her backyard started going nuts, my husband went over to help her with the pipes. When her roof sprung a leak, my husband helped again. I shared one of my favorite devotional books with her that has helped me over the years. And whenever I'm at Sprout's I try to get an extra melon for the kids to walk over to her house.

Recently, I had to take the higher ground with another friend. We had texted a plethora of texts about this and that. But before long, we had gotten into a huge misunderstanding. I got incredibly hurt. She got unbelievably defensive. And weeks of confusion ensued. She ignored me. I reached out but felt betrayed and mistreated. And in the end, I felt all that I could do was to pray for our friendship, to apologize for my contribution, and to forgive her for her subsequent actions toward me.

The more I talk to moms and encounter REAL conversations, it seems that lots of women are incredibly lonely. I sometimes think that's because they are not willing to go deeper in their friendships. Being real means taking risks. It means that you might have to cry with someone over her incredibly sick child. You could be required to pray with someone over a lost loved one even though you don't usually pray out loud even by yourself. And ultimately you will be called to forgive her seven times seventy times if you want to be a great friend.

In the end, you'll see that it's worth all the work. You won't be lonely anymore. And you'll feel fulfilled knowing that you've spent your life being a good friend to others. Share your thoughts about friendship here! We'd love to hear from you. Keeping it real! :)

Labels: forgiveness, friendship, real