Wednesday, May 18, 2011
true friendship
When a friend goes through a tough time, remember to reach out to her, even in the awkward moments. It's always easy to shoot the breeze about favorite tv shows, to discuss next year's teacher picks, or to complain about how messy your house is. But what do you do about the friend with a terminally ill child? What about the one whose husband leaves her? How about the neighbor whose husband died a year ago, but she still grieves?
My challenge to you is direct and forthright: be a good friend. One of my close friends has a very sick child who is having surgery this weekend to remove serious tumors connected up with his incurable disease. Sometimes, I don't know how to help even though I want to be there for her. But today, my instincts kicked in as I listened to her, hugged her, and prayed with her. It can feel strange to enter into those private moments with other people, but it's worthwhile. That's what makes you a true friend.
When my neighbor lost her husband a year ago, we decided to show her we cared by serving her with love and assistance. When her backyard started going nuts, my husband went over to help her with the pipes. When her roof sprung a leak, my husband helped again. I shared one of my favorite devotional books with her that has helped me over the years. And whenever I'm at Sprout's I try to get an extra melon for the kids to walk over to her house.
Recently, I had to take the higher ground with another friend. We had texted a plethora of texts about this and that. But before long, we had gotten into a huge misunderstanding. I got incredibly hurt. She got unbelievably defensive. And weeks of confusion ensued. She ignored me. I reached out but felt betrayed and mistreated. And in the end, I felt all that I could do was to pray for our friendship, to apologize for my contribution, and to forgive her for her subsequent actions toward me.
The more I talk to moms and encounter REAL conversations, it seems that lots of women are incredibly lonely. I sometimes think that's because they are not willing to go deeper in their friendships. Being real means taking risks. It means that you might have to cry with someone over her incredibly sick child. You could be required to pray with someone over a lost loved one even though you don't usually pray out loud even by yourself. And ultimately you will be called to forgive her seven times seventy times if you want to be a great friend.
In the end, you'll see that it's worth all the work. You won't be lonely anymore. And you'll feel fulfilled knowing that you've spent your life being a good friend to others. Share your thoughts about friendship here! We'd love to hear from you. Keeping it real! :)
My challenge to you is direct and forthright: be a good friend. One of my close friends has a very sick child who is having surgery this weekend to remove serious tumors connected up with his incurable disease. Sometimes, I don't know how to help even though I want to be there for her. But today, my instincts kicked in as I listened to her, hugged her, and prayed with her. It can feel strange to enter into those private moments with other people, but it's worthwhile. That's what makes you a true friend.
When my neighbor lost her husband a year ago, we decided to show her we cared by serving her with love and assistance. When her backyard started going nuts, my husband went over to help her with the pipes. When her roof sprung a leak, my husband helped again. I shared one of my favorite devotional books with her that has helped me over the years. And whenever I'm at Sprout's I try to get an extra melon for the kids to walk over to her house.
Recently, I had to take the higher ground with another friend. We had texted a plethora of texts about this and that. But before long, we had gotten into a huge misunderstanding. I got incredibly hurt. She got unbelievably defensive. And weeks of confusion ensued. She ignored me. I reached out but felt betrayed and mistreated. And in the end, I felt all that I could do was to pray for our friendship, to apologize for my contribution, and to forgive her for her subsequent actions toward me.
The more I talk to moms and encounter REAL conversations, it seems that lots of women are incredibly lonely. I sometimes think that's because they are not willing to go deeper in their friendships. Being real means taking risks. It means that you might have to cry with someone over her incredibly sick child. You could be required to pray with someone over a lost loved one even though you don't usually pray out loud even by yourself. And ultimately you will be called to forgive her seven times seventy times if you want to be a great friend.
In the end, you'll see that it's worth all the work. You won't be lonely anymore. And you'll feel fulfilled knowing that you've spent your life being a good friend to others. Share your thoughts about friendship here! We'd love to hear from you. Keeping it real! :)
Labels: forgiveness, friendship, real
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The Cross and the dumpster (modified from Nov 2006)
The cross at Calvary was the physical place where Christ bore all the sins of the world, including yours and mine, absolving us from our past, present, and future guilt. According to Webster’s New World Dictionary, sin is defined as, “…any offense or fault.”
Two thousand years later, what does this mean for us? It stands in our hearts and minds as a metaphorical starting point for the journey to find peace and freedom. The intersection of those two wooden beams is the exact spot where forgiveness exists.
Man's sinfulness meets God's perfect grace. So we get to lay down our offenses and faults no matter how disgusting or crude they are. We no longer have to carry the humiliating weight of guilt and shame that the sinfulness has caused.
Nor do we have to pay for our own sinfulness by completing a list of never-ending good works or mantras. Imagine the labor and tedium which the Jews of the Old Testament had to maintain; it was one sacrifice plus another, plus another, plus like five thousand more and on and on the cycle of atonement went.
In contrast, a Christian is set free from the chaotic cycle that the Jews had to endure. The Jews were required to make amends for their wrongdoings. But we get to set all the gook and crap at the foot of the cross and walk away empty handed; Christ completely covered over our darkness and grotesqueness.
In Matthew 26:28, Christ is recorded saying, “For this is my blood of the new covenant, which is shed for many for the remission of sins.” So this means that the weight of a Christian's sin is paid for in full. The old covenant is no longer necessary. Isn't that what we've learned since we were little kids making Popsicle stick crosses during Sunday school? So that means there is no outstanding balance, right?
Most Christians know the grace of Ephesians 2:8+9 in their heads: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast." But so frequently, we fail to embrace it with our hearts.
We're familiar with the grace preached on Easter Sunday but not sure what to do with it a few weeks later when we blow it. So even though we know that we're forgiven once and for all, we frequently lay down our bloody cloths at the cross and then take them right back up again.
We know God's grace is sufficient and yet we feel compelled to pay for those icky sins by ourselves. But does this practice do us any good? The Bible makes it clear that we can add nothing to the payment Christ already made for us, for it was perfect and wholly adequate.
So, we must simply put our faith in Christ and confess our sins to Him. The Bible says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1John 1:9). Likewise, the book of Acts clearly affirms that it is one's belief in Christ that clears them of their sinfulness. Acts 10:43 declares, “…whoever believes in Him (Christ) will receive remission of sins.”
Now picture a trash-can or a dumpster sitting next to the cross of Calvary. Or just picture the disgusting one next to the toilet in your downstairs bathroom. It's usually smelly, sticky, and germ-laden. The dumpster is the place where you stash all of your household waste. Once you throw it there (frequently for a three pointer from twenty feet away), you hope you'll never have to see it again.
Where does it go? Who knows? We just hope that we don't have to touch it again. The plethora of gum wrappers, q-tips, cotton balls, rogue pieces of gum, and used tissues are thrown into the magical bin for good. And for a fairly reasonable fee, the trash company takes it from our house every Thursday morning to some mysterious landfill for the rest of our known lives.
This is such simple faith. Do you ever stop the garbage man to ask if he's going to bring it back again? Of course not, right? And I'm guessing you don't challenge him about where he's taking it either. So while it might sound insulting to compare God to the trash company, metaphorically speaking, it works if you think it through. He too wants to pick up our garbage and take it from us, never to be seen again.
He doesn’t want us to sift through the trash-can to retrieve our old waste. Isn’t that a disgusting thought, to sort through your old garbage? And yet, we as Christians rummage through our own spiritual trash bins looking for old offenses and faults all the time. It seems obvious that we should not take back the burdens of our past sins. But, we frequently lay our sins at the cross with doubt and tentative concern. God simply wants us to drop them, walk away, and to not look back.
Sure, we will need to deposit new ones at the cross, asking the Lord for forgiveness and cleansing as they arise. But, then we should walk away with His peace and forgiveness in a similar fashion to our old ones. Our response should reflect an attitude of relief and freedom, not uncertainty and fear.
Hebrews chapter ten affirms the adequate payment Christ made on the cross for the Believer. Verse twelve proclaims, “But this man (Jesus), after he had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down at the right hand of God.”
The Bible passage goes on to reference Jeremiah 31:34 in verse seventeen: “…‘Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.’” Paul concludes this point in verse eighteen saying, “Now where there is remission of these, there is no longer an offering for sin.”
So, how do we respond? We should meditate upon the full value of Christ's atonement for our sins. This means two things. First, we shouldn't sin so that we can rake in a bigger portion of His grace. God obviously wants us to be filled with His spirit so we can live in obedience on a daily basis.
Second, we need to fully receive God's grace for our brokenness by being thankful and confident. What an insult it is when we take back our sins because we think Christ's payment is inadequate. It's like telling the trash collector that you think you should hold onto your own garbage since clearly you can keep track of it better than he can.
So the next time you carry the trash out to the dumpster, think of the cross and how you can correspondingly let go of your spiritual garbage for good. You can walk away and feel your burdens lifted. When Satan tempts you to take them back, picture Christ hanging from the cross saying, “It is done.” Then, spend some time in prayer thanking Jesus for the amazing forgiveness He offers you. Encourage others with this truth as well. Christ came to set us free! :)
Two thousand years later, what does this mean for us? It stands in our hearts and minds as a metaphorical starting point for the journey to find peace and freedom. The intersection of those two wooden beams is the exact spot where forgiveness exists.
Man's sinfulness meets God's perfect grace. So we get to lay down our offenses and faults no matter how disgusting or crude they are. We no longer have to carry the humiliating weight of guilt and shame that the sinfulness has caused.
Nor do we have to pay for our own sinfulness by completing a list of never-ending good works or mantras. Imagine the labor and tedium which the Jews of the Old Testament had to maintain; it was one sacrifice plus another, plus another, plus like five thousand more and on and on the cycle of atonement went.
In contrast, a Christian is set free from the chaotic cycle that the Jews had to endure. The Jews were required to make amends for their wrongdoings. But we get to set all the gook and crap at the foot of the cross and walk away empty handed; Christ completely covered over our darkness and grotesqueness.
In Matthew 26:28, Christ is recorded saying, “For this is my blood of the new covenant, which is shed for many for the remission of sins.” So this means that the weight of a Christian's sin is paid for in full. The old covenant is no longer necessary. Isn't that what we've learned since we were little kids making Popsicle stick crosses during Sunday school? So that means there is no outstanding balance, right?
Most Christians know the grace of Ephesians 2:8+9 in their heads: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast." But so frequently, we fail to embrace it with our hearts.
We're familiar with the grace preached on Easter Sunday but not sure what to do with it a few weeks later when we blow it. So even though we know that we're forgiven once and for all, we frequently lay down our bloody cloths at the cross and then take them right back up again.
We know God's grace is sufficient and yet we feel compelled to pay for those icky sins by ourselves. But does this practice do us any good? The Bible makes it clear that we can add nothing to the payment Christ already made for us, for it was perfect and wholly adequate.
So, we must simply put our faith in Christ and confess our sins to Him. The Bible says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1John 1:9). Likewise, the book of Acts clearly affirms that it is one's belief in Christ that clears them of their sinfulness. Acts 10:43 declares, “…whoever believes in Him (Christ) will receive remission of sins.”
Now picture a trash-can or a dumpster sitting next to the cross of Calvary. Or just picture the disgusting one next to the toilet in your downstairs bathroom. It's usually smelly, sticky, and germ-laden. The dumpster is the place where you stash all of your household waste. Once you throw it there (frequently for a three pointer from twenty feet away), you hope you'll never have to see it again.
Where does it go? Who knows? We just hope that we don't have to touch it again. The plethora of gum wrappers, q-tips, cotton balls, rogue pieces of gum, and used tissues are thrown into the magical bin for good. And for a fairly reasonable fee, the trash company takes it from our house every Thursday morning to some mysterious landfill for the rest of our known lives.
This is such simple faith. Do you ever stop the garbage man to ask if he's going to bring it back again? Of course not, right? And I'm guessing you don't challenge him about where he's taking it either. So while it might sound insulting to compare God to the trash company, metaphorically speaking, it works if you think it through. He too wants to pick up our garbage and take it from us, never to be seen again.
He doesn’t want us to sift through the trash-can to retrieve our old waste. Isn’t that a disgusting thought, to sort through your old garbage? And yet, we as Christians rummage through our own spiritual trash bins looking for old offenses and faults all the time. It seems obvious that we should not take back the burdens of our past sins. But, we frequently lay our sins at the cross with doubt and tentative concern. God simply wants us to drop them, walk away, and to not look back.
Sure, we will need to deposit new ones at the cross, asking the Lord for forgiveness and cleansing as they arise. But, then we should walk away with His peace and forgiveness in a similar fashion to our old ones. Our response should reflect an attitude of relief and freedom, not uncertainty and fear.
Hebrews chapter ten affirms the adequate payment Christ made on the cross for the Believer. Verse twelve proclaims, “But this man (Jesus), after he had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down at the right hand of God.”
The Bible passage goes on to reference Jeremiah 31:34 in verse seventeen: “…‘Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.’” Paul concludes this point in verse eighteen saying, “Now where there is remission of these, there is no longer an offering for sin.”
So, how do we respond? We should meditate upon the full value of Christ's atonement for our sins. This means two things. First, we shouldn't sin so that we can rake in a bigger portion of His grace. God obviously wants us to be filled with His spirit so we can live in obedience on a daily basis.
Second, we need to fully receive God's grace for our brokenness by being thankful and confident. What an insult it is when we take back our sins because we think Christ's payment is inadequate. It's like telling the trash collector that you think you should hold onto your own garbage since clearly you can keep track of it better than he can.
So the next time you carry the trash out to the dumpster, think of the cross and how you can correspondingly let go of your spiritual garbage for good. You can walk away and feel your burdens lifted. When Satan tempts you to take them back, picture Christ hanging from the cross saying, “It is done.” Then, spend some time in prayer thanking Jesus for the amazing forgiveness He offers you. Encourage others with this truth as well. Christ came to set us free! :)
Labels: cross, dumpster, forgiveness, Jesus
