Wednesday, April 28, 2010
True Friendship
True friendship is a gift. It means having someone who accepts you as you are, but who loves you enough to challenge you to grow. A dear friend listens when you are steeped in despair without judging you or trying to change your mind about how you feel. She empathizes with gentleness while encouraging you towards a more hopeful perspective. She loves you even when you are without make-up, your clothes don't match, and you are still wearing your slippers at 10AM.
In return, you are there for her when she needs your hug and your tender words of kindness. When her marriage takes on new challenges, you listen to her story. You accept her differences and you value her strengths. One of you collects fruit trees. The other collects European tea cups. Your political views may differ. Your parenting styles may vary as well. But together you dream for bigger things. Together, you create a beautiful story.
Life's blessings and disappointments oscillate over time. One's parent is sick while the other's is healthy. Her child struggles through a particular season while your son is doing fine. She has a physical health challenge while you battle with various emotional issues. But, throughout the changing tides, you carry each other's burdens and you celebrate the good times as well. You're there to applaud her upcoming art exhibit and she celebrates your new book contract.
Over the years, you see that friendship is not a competition; rather, true friendship is a waltz. The two of you dance through life's stages in unison, though sometimes awkwardly. At times, you're not sure how to be the best friend. At other times, it flows so effortlessly. Being real. Being loving. Being vulnerable. These attributes allow the roots of friendship to grow deeper. It takes time and patience, but over the years, the investment of a genuine friendship reaps a harvest of healthy fruit.
Share about a true friendship in your life. What traits are most important to you? We'd love to hear from you.
In return, you are there for her when she needs your hug and your tender words of kindness. When her marriage takes on new challenges, you listen to her story. You accept her differences and you value her strengths. One of you collects fruit trees. The other collects European tea cups. Your political views may differ. Your parenting styles may vary as well. But together you dream for bigger things. Together, you create a beautiful story.
Life's blessings and disappointments oscillate over time. One's parent is sick while the other's is healthy. Her child struggles through a particular season while your son is doing fine. She has a physical health challenge while you battle with various emotional issues. But, throughout the changing tides, you carry each other's burdens and you celebrate the good times as well. You're there to applaud her upcoming art exhibit and she celebrates your new book contract.
Over the years, you see that friendship is not a competition; rather, true friendship is a waltz. The two of you dance through life's stages in unison, though sometimes awkwardly. At times, you're not sure how to be the best friend. At other times, it flows so effortlessly. Being real. Being loving. Being vulnerable. These attributes allow the roots of friendship to grow deeper. It takes time and patience, but over the years, the investment of a genuine friendship reaps a harvest of healthy fruit.
Share about a true friendship in your life. What traits are most important to you? We'd love to hear from you.
Labels: family, friendship, love, pain
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
New Year's Resolutions
It's getting close to that time when people lay out their ambitious resolutions for the new year. Drink more water. Pay off debt. Eat better and exercise more. Floss your teeth this year. Simplify and reduce stress. Enjoy more quality time with family. Learn to play the guitar by actually practicing the damn thing (that makes sense, right?).
With so many "to do" items, resolutions can be overwhelming. So, scratch the top ten and try for one simple goal instead. Mine is going to be...to love better. I want to love myself better this year and to love my family more sacrificially as well. This includes a host of altruistic resolutions too because it means that I'll nourish myself and others along the way. In my noble pursuit to love better, I'll take time out to rest and to feed my own passions and pursuits, such as music, health, and writing.
It also means that I'll respect and support their ambitions and needs as well. Loving my husband and my kids better includes a whole gamut of kind pursuits: being more patient, less angry, more willing to serve, and more energetic towards their interests. I want to celebrate their dreams by focusing my efforts on their strengths and talents, not necessarily on my hopes and expectations for them.
I want to support my hubby with patience and momentum as he finishes his doctoral dissertation in Philosophy this year. I also intend to compliment his ambition for physical health by joining him this May for his second beach triathlon (I'm ok on the swimming and running part, but not as prepped for the cycling part...any tips?). Likewise, I aim to match my spouse's desire to pay off our financial debts this year. This means sacrifice: hanging on to our older cars, spending less money on things we don't need, and working hard for monetary increases.
With regards to our kids, I seek to love them by respecting their individuality. Though we might see our son as a star athlete, I want to discover what he truly loves. Maybe he will blossom into the next Kurt Warner, but maybe not. So, I intend to observe his talents and to launch him into the right venue: football, baseball, graphic design, or maybe even chess.
Pertaining to our daughters, I don't want to automatically assume that they'll love ballet just because they're girls. Nor should I preclude that they'll advance to fame like Nadia Comaneci if they leap into gymnastics at an early age. I want to teach them to be strong and to love what they enjoy doing!
In addition to extra-curriculars, I want to graciously encourage our kids to thrive academically. In love, I want to demonstrate by example that it's okay to fail. They can be proud of their best, even when the result is less than perfection. By supporting them with our time, they're bound to succeed. And by giving them our acceptance no matter how they perform, they'll likely exceed our highest expectations.
Last but not least, "Mwahhh." I want to serve myself more this year. I'm convinced that as I love myself better, I'll have the energy and resolve to love everyone else more tenaciously as well. So, as I mentioned in the first paragraph, my list of personal pursuits will be long, but in the context of self-love and service. If I can't fit in a date with my tan Silvertone guitar every week, that's alright, but I want to try to improve because music brings me joy.
Likewise, I'm hopeful that my writing pursuits land me a book contract; however, if it takes an extra year beyond this one, I want to love myself with patience and steadfastness along the way. With my goal to finish a triathlon, I want to take it slowly enough to be fair to my body while simultaneously challenging myself to be brave (when you watch the Kona Iron-man competition and see the survivors and the warriors, it makes you feel like you can do anything; at least I have two legs).
So, as you write up your own list of resolutions, remember this: to love yourself and your family. Whatever you do, do it in the context of love and you're bound for success. Share some of your New Year's resolutions here. We'd love to hear from you.
With so many "to do" items, resolutions can be overwhelming. So, scratch the top ten and try for one simple goal instead. Mine is going to be...to love better. I want to love myself better this year and to love my family more sacrificially as well. This includes a host of altruistic resolutions too because it means that I'll nourish myself and others along the way. In my noble pursuit to love better, I'll take time out to rest and to feed my own passions and pursuits, such as music, health, and writing.
It also means that I'll respect and support their ambitions and needs as well. Loving my husband and my kids better includes a whole gamut of kind pursuits: being more patient, less angry, more willing to serve, and more energetic towards their interests. I want to celebrate their dreams by focusing my efforts on their strengths and talents, not necessarily on my hopes and expectations for them.
I want to support my hubby with patience and momentum as he finishes his doctoral dissertation in Philosophy this year. I also intend to compliment his ambition for physical health by joining him this May for his second beach triathlon (I'm ok on the swimming and running part, but not as prepped for the cycling part...any tips?). Likewise, I aim to match my spouse's desire to pay off our financial debts this year. This means sacrifice: hanging on to our older cars, spending less money on things we don't need, and working hard for monetary increases.
With regards to our kids, I seek to love them by respecting their individuality. Though we might see our son as a star athlete, I want to discover what he truly loves. Maybe he will blossom into the next Kurt Warner, but maybe not. So, I intend to observe his talents and to launch him into the right venue: football, baseball, graphic design, or maybe even chess.
Pertaining to our daughters, I don't want to automatically assume that they'll love ballet just because they're girls. Nor should I preclude that they'll advance to fame like Nadia Comaneci if they leap into gymnastics at an early age. I want to teach them to be strong and to love what they enjoy doing!
In addition to extra-curriculars, I want to graciously encourage our kids to thrive academically. In love, I want to demonstrate by example that it's okay to fail. They can be proud of their best, even when the result is less than perfection. By supporting them with our time, they're bound to succeed. And by giving them our acceptance no matter how they perform, they'll likely exceed our highest expectations.
Last but not least, "Mwahhh." I want to serve myself more this year. I'm convinced that as I love myself better, I'll have the energy and resolve to love everyone else more tenaciously as well. So, as I mentioned in the first paragraph, my list of personal pursuits will be long, but in the context of self-love and service. If I can't fit in a date with my tan Silvertone guitar every week, that's alright, but I want to try to improve because music brings me joy.
Likewise, I'm hopeful that my writing pursuits land me a book contract; however, if it takes an extra year beyond this one, I want to love myself with patience and steadfastness along the way. With my goal to finish a triathlon, I want to take it slowly enough to be fair to my body while simultaneously challenging myself to be brave (when you watch the Kona Iron-man competition and see the survivors and the warriors, it makes you feel like you can do anything; at least I have two legs).
So, as you write up your own list of resolutions, remember this: to love yourself and your family. Whatever you do, do it in the context of love and you're bound for success. Share some of your New Year's resolutions here. We'd love to hear from you.
Labels: love, resolutions, tenacity
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Forgive. Forgive. Forgive!
As Christians, we are called to forgive one another. The simple answer: because Christ forgave us first.
When a neighbor harasses you, forgive her.
When a parent neglects you, forgive him.
When a spouse irritates you, forgive him.
When a friend forgets you, forgive her.
When a teacher insults you, forgive her.
When a child disrespects you, forgive him.
When a boss refuses to reward you, forgive him.
When an acquaintance wrongly accuses you, forgive her.
When Jesus was humiliated, he loved them.
When Jesus was mocked, he loved them.
When Jesus was forgotten, he loved them.
When Jesus was spit on, he loved them.
When Jesus was denied, he loved them.
When Jesus was rejected, he loved them.
When Jesus was beaten, he loved them.
When Jesus was crucified, he loved them.
When a neighbor harasses you, forgive her.
When a parent neglects you, forgive him.
When a spouse irritates you, forgive him.
When a friend forgets you, forgive her.
When a teacher insults you, forgive her.
When a child disrespects you, forgive him.
When a boss refuses to reward you, forgive him.
When an acquaintance wrongly accuses you, forgive her.
When Jesus was humiliated, he loved them.
When Jesus was mocked, he loved them.
When Jesus was forgotten, he loved them.
When Jesus was spit on, he loved them.
When Jesus was denied, he loved them.
When Jesus was rejected, he loved them.
When Jesus was beaten, he loved them.
When Jesus was crucified, he loved them.
