Mariposa Kisses (aka Dianne's Blog)

With three sick kids home from school today and myself recovering from the flu as well, I'm feeling a little blue. Constant laundry, mopping, and sanitizing, along with incessant hand-washing that's turning my hands into lizard-skin. Plus it's hard to see your kids feel so lousy. You just want them to get better, but it takes time.

Certainly, it is that season to get sick, so it's not a surprise that it hit our whole family (minus my hubby, the lucky duck). And it reminds me to be thankful for the healthy days that we have most of the year. The ones where nothing much happens out of the ordinary.

So many days, we pine for more excitement, more of something we're not even sure of... rather than just being thankful for what's right in front of us. I'll give you a dramatic example. A friend from school recently had an affair on her husband and left him for another man... because her life seemed boring in her current situation. And I'm not making this post about judging her life and what she's gone through. Maybe her husband was a total loser. Then again, maybe he wasn't???

Sometimes, our human nature pushes us to assume there's something better around the corner, when "pretty great" stares us in the eyeballs today! When I think of this friend, it makes me reflect how thankful I am that my marriage approaches its fourteenth year... doing well, not full of back-flips, but steadily sustained... and happy. It's got areas for improvement just like everyone else's, but it makes me glad we haven't given up over the years even when times have gotten tough.

Frequently, I feel like my life is hum-drum regarding motherhood. The kids get home from school, throw their shoes and backpacks into our front walkway, and sprint out to the backyard to jump on the trampoline... making enough noise to instantly trigger one of my migraines. Or they race upstairs to play Wii or to watch a video for the hundredth time, making uncontrolled messes as they go.

In all honesty, the lunch preps, the laundry, the homework, the driving, the cleaning ... it can all start to feel so burdensome. You might relate, that your life doesn't amount to more than you'd planned up to this point as well. I'm thankful for all that I have, of course, just like you are. But my attitude often says otherwise. It's occasionally resentful and lame. The whole "poor me" routine replays its sad song like an old eighties jingle that I just can't get out of my head.

Even professionally, I thought I would have published my postmodern novel by now. It was a big 2011 goal of mine, that came and went. But I'm not giving up. I'm pressing forward because I believe it's the right thing to do. I have this strange calling to finish it and to edit the heck out of it, no matter what comes of it. Do you have any of those career goals that aren't quite where you'd expected them to be at this point? But it's okay because stuff happens. We get distracted. We run into bad luck. The stars aren't aligned for a certain editor on a particular day.

But life is life! And sometimes you see that friend who wishes she'd made the better choice... but gave up too soon. Or you're stuck at home with your kids as sick as dogs puking over the toilet or into a big yellow or turquoise bowl. Then... these experiences give us perspective (if we allow them to), even if just a few teaspoons at a time.

What about another friend of mine who has to take two months off work to be with her sick kid during his chemo treatments? I bet she'd rather be at home cleaning up his messes all day long, you know? But even then, she's so upbeat, just trusting God that things will work out.

Those boring days seem beautiful and glorious in contrast to some of the stories we hear about. And it's always about a certain mindset that gets us through those tough days or seasons in our own lives as well. Because we know that someone else has it a lot worse than we do. And we also realize that we are usually a lot stronger than we think we are. The tough times often prove how brave we actually are.

All this said, enjoy today! Whether you're home with sick kids like I am, or doing the monotonous pick-up taxi-cab routine in the next hour. Whether you're serving chicken broth and Saltines or a full-on roast with veggies and wine... take in this moment that you've been given.

And before you go making any drastic judgments about your boring life or your boring spouse or your boring kids or your less than perfect job... try to be thankful for what you've been given for this season. Sometimes stopping to reflect can be the most refreshing thing you've done all year. And since we're into 2012 now, why not take a few moments to write up a list of all the things you're thankful for?

Share your thoughts here. We'd love to hear from you. Keeping it real! :)

Labels: family, friends, motherhood

Sometimes, you just need a little touch from nature to get through the long week. It seems like an unexpected bill shows up every afternoon, or a new sickness, or a random household item that needs fixing. It's a rogue pair of eyeglasses gone missing, a busted kid's shoe, or a garage door that breaks unexpectedly. It also seems like there's enough drama at any given moment to power a small city. The kids seem to enjoy testing my (already questionable) sanity on a daily basis. No-one's quite adjusted to the new back-to-school schedule yet, so crankiness pops up earlier as well. But, yesterday, the perfect thing happened.

It rained. I couldn't believe it. I'd seen the foreboding thunder-heads out to the east. I'd even prayed, "Oh, please help it rain!" But, being in Southern California in the middle of summer, it seemed like overly-optimistic thinking. My oldest son told me that he also shot up an enthusiastic petition for rain, which was sweet because he doesn't even like the rain. A little bit later, I looked outside and saw that my patio was wet. I assumed the hose had been left on. But, when I stepped outside to water my fruit trees, to my wondering eyes, what should appear, but some awesome and steady raindrops. Not only rain, but thunder as well. It felt like I was standing in the middle of a fun Midwestern storm, which took me back to the freshly cut grass smell of Illinois, where I studied as an undergrad.

What a treat. It's funny how such a small and short-lived rain storm could lighten the load that had burdened me earlier in the day. Sometimes, we just need a little break from the stresses that entangle our hearts and minds. For me, this rain storm was a much needed respite from my internal stresses within. I picked up my two school-aged kids and we twirled and sang in the rain. Since it was so warm out, they hopped into their swimsuits and we played outside until the rain stopped. It was refreshing to the thirsty landscape in our area and also satisfying to my soul.

While we can't make it rain, although I've done my fair share of rain dances over the years, we can certainly implement small measures to minimize our daily pressures and responsibilities. A vanilla ice cream cone helps me to feel like a kid again and for only 69 cents at McDonald's right now, it's hard to pass up. A quick phone call with a long distance friend lifts some of the weight as well. It reminds you of your past and your youth and keeps you focused on where you're headed too. Sometimes sharing quality time with my kids at the kitchen table with a fun craft makes me feel more relaxed as well. While I could be doing hundreds of other tasks, it instantly takes me to what's really important...my family. All the other stuff gets done eventually.

I don't know what you're going through today and if you love or hate the rain. But, I hope you got some joy out of our recent rainfall. If you missed it, you could always shut your eyes and run through the sprinklers. For a thunder reenactment, you could download some thunder tunes from iTunes. If that doesn't lower your stress, try the ice cream regimen or that overdue phone call with a buddy. If all else fails, break out the old magazines, scissors, and some glue to create a memorable collage with your little ones. Today's masterpiece contains pictures that represent me: an avocado, a topiary vine, trail mix, azaleas, a dog, wine, violets, red roses, orange juice, a tomato bush, berry pie, and hydrangeas.

What do you do for a break from it all? What pictures fill your own personal collage? Share your thoughts here.

Labels: encouragement, motherhood, rest

I looked at her face and couldn’t believe it was actually her. She was one of my best friends about five years ago. So many months had passed though since we’d even talked or emailed. I almost didn’t recognize her, which was kind of embarrassing. I didn’t want to offend her, as if I’d forgotten her name or something. Of course I knew her name. I called out, “Dianne, I can’t believe it’s you!”

I explained how I’d been so busy with my three kids. Then, we exchanged the typical conversational questions about how each other’s husband was doing and about what the kids were up to. Wow, the time had flown by like a couple of seconds. My friend looked so good. I couldn’t believe she was my same age. Her face was full of vivacity; likewise, she looked so physically fit and tan. I was especially impressed by her energy and zeal for life. Within a few minutes of talking, I observed her radiant self confidence and her refreshing optimism. We exchanged some details about mutual friends and our equally overloaded schedules. But, wow, I was so blown away with how great my friend looked that I could hardly focus on my own responses.

Those ten minutes in front of the mirror were truly a blessing. They allowed me to see that I didn’t have to be the lethargic and exhausted mom that I’d become. My life was about more than just serving my husband and my children. I was buried down there somewhere and had been for a number of years. Somehow, I’d let the piles of laundry, the mound of dirty dishes, and the plethora of days I’d gone without pampering myself, to define me as less valuable. My list of tasks had become about everyone else.

I was blessed that morning when I looked in the mirror and remembered who I was. I was beautiful, talented, and full of dreams. That didn’t have to end just because my life had changed so much. That day, I decided I was going to set up a date with my new friend, “me”. I committed to clear out some time to rediscover who I was in order to rekindle some of my own personal passions and talents.

Labels: friendship, motherhood

Some days start and finish in defeat. The sun comes up and smiles upon you just the same as any other day, but the score has already been set and you’re definitely predetermined for a loss. Well, that’s how it feels sometimes as a mom. A few of those days occurred for me and our family recently.

It was a day just like any other, except that we were potty training our second child, who was almost three. She was in her booster chair when I heard a dripping noise, which later became obvious as urine spilling onto the tile floor of our kitchen. I nonchalantly got the cleaning supplies responding fairly rationally of the incident since accidents do happen after all.

However, while I sat kneeling on the floor cleaning up my daughter’s urine, I heard a noise in the bathroom. To my somewhat surprised eyes, I found the same daughter in the bathroom eating alcohol-filled soap. With feelings of frustration and defeat welling up inside, I cleaned my daughter up and planned to continue disinfecting the kitchen floor. For a brief moment, I literally thought about how the day could not get any worse. However, this was the wrong thought to have, for it was as if fate overheard my reflection and challenged it. Upon exiting the bathroom, horror filled my vision as I looked upon my content but litter-covered baby playing in the poop-filled cat box next to the busted down baby gate. It was bath-time.

Jump ahead about six months to another out-of-control day. My three kids and I happily played during this seemingly peaceful spring morning. No-one could see the dark cloud of defeat looming in the distance. A few Easter egg hunts were successfully exchanged between me and the kids. Then, some very tranquil and happy play was had outside in the backyard. The baby was sleeping peacefully. Then, to my bewilderment, I opened the screen door to check on my two older children. To my horror, I found our three-year-old with a glass starfish up to her mouth with one leg missing. She answered affirmatively when I asked her if she’d eaten it, so my next step was to call 911.

After a short discussion with the dispatcher, it became obvious that the paramedics would need to visit our home. After a short visit with them, it was deemed necessary to take our daughter to the hospital. When she and my husband returned home unscathed after an x-ray which ruled out any obstruction or consumption of lead crystal, we decided to press on with the day. After the hospital, my husband picked up our van that was being worked on in the shop. Don’t you hate car problems?

Still trudging on, everyone was dressed and ready for the twenty-five person photo shoot an hour and a half away. Since we were stuck in traffic and driving with gusto, our carsick baby threw up all over herself, including my new cell phone, which had been given as a hopeful distraction from her early signs of car sickness. We reverted home, gave her a bath, and did actually make it down for the family pictures.

Life can feel like a grammatical run-on sometimes. You want to shorten life’s dramas. You want to add a period, ending the madness, but frequently circumstances don’t allow. I had asked my husband at what point we would be able to cancel our evening plans and he said, “Well, if we blow a tire, then we won’t keep driving down.” It wasn’t very funny to me at the time, but I knew it was an important family event for him and we did end up having a very good time.

Labels: motherhood