Monday, January 09, 2012
A few teaspoons of perspective
With three sick kids home from school today and myself recovering from the flu as well, I'm feeling a little blue. Constant laundry, mopping, and sanitizing, along with incessant hand-washing that's turning my hands into lizard-skin. Plus it's hard to see your kids feel so lousy. You just want them to get better, but it takes time.
Certainly, it is that season to get sick, so it's not a surprise that it hit our whole family (minus my hubby, the lucky duck). And it reminds me to be thankful for the healthy days that we have most of the year. The ones where nothing much happens out of the ordinary.
So many days, we pine for more excitement, more of something we're not even sure of... rather than just being thankful for what's right in front of us. I'll give you a dramatic example. A friend from school recently had an affair on her husband and left him for another man... because her life seemed boring in her current situation. And I'm not making this post about judging her life and what she's gone through. Maybe her husband was a total loser. Then again, maybe he wasn't???
Sometimes, our human nature pushes us to assume there's something better around the corner, when "pretty great" stares us in the eyeballs today! When I think of this friend, it makes me reflect how thankful I am that my marriage approaches its fourteenth year... doing well, not full of back-flips, but steadily sustained... and happy. It's got areas for improvement just like everyone else's, but it makes me glad we haven't given up over the years even when times have gotten tough.
Frequently, I feel like my life is hum-drum regarding motherhood. The kids get home from school, throw their shoes and backpacks into our front walkway, and sprint out to the backyard to jump on the trampoline... making enough noise to instantly trigger one of my migraines. Or they race upstairs to play Wii or to watch a video for the hundredth time, making uncontrolled messes as they go.
In all honesty, the lunch preps, the laundry, the homework, the driving, the cleaning ... it can all start to feel so burdensome. You might relate, that your life doesn't amount to more than you'd planned up to this point as well. I'm thankful for all that I have, of course, just like you are. But my attitude often says otherwise. It's occasionally resentful and lame. The whole "poor me" routine replays its sad song like an old eighties jingle that I just can't get out of my head.
Even professionally, I thought I would have published my postmodern novel by now. It was a big 2011 goal of mine, that came and went. But I'm not giving up. I'm pressing forward because I believe it's the right thing to do. I have this strange calling to finish it and to edit the heck out of it, no matter what comes of it. Do you have any of those career goals that aren't quite where you'd expected them to be at this point? But it's okay because stuff happens. We get distracted. We run into bad luck. The stars aren't aligned for a certain editor on a particular day.
But life is life! And sometimes you see that friend who wishes she'd made the better choice... but gave up too soon. Or you're stuck at home with your kids as sick as dogs puking over the toilet or into a big yellow or turquoise bowl. Then... these experiences give us perspective (if we allow them to), even if just a few teaspoons at a time.
What about another friend of mine who has to take two months off work to be with her sick kid during his chemo treatments? I bet she'd rather be at home cleaning up his messes all day long, you know? But even then, she's so upbeat, just trusting God that things will work out.
Those boring days seem beautiful and glorious in contrast to some of the stories we hear about. And it's always about a certain mindset that gets us through those tough days or seasons in our own lives as well. Because we know that someone else has it a lot worse than we do. And we also realize that we are usually a lot stronger than we think we are. The tough times often prove how brave we actually are.
All this said, enjoy today! Whether you're home with sick kids like I am, or doing the monotonous pick-up taxi-cab routine in the next hour. Whether you're serving chicken broth and Saltines or a full-on roast with veggies and wine... take in this moment that you've been given.
And before you go making any drastic judgments about your boring life or your boring spouse or your boring kids or your less than perfect job... try to be thankful for what you've been given for this season. Sometimes stopping to reflect can be the most refreshing thing you've done all year. And since we're into 2012 now, why not take a few moments to write up a list of all the things you're thankful for?
Share your thoughts here. We'd love to hear from you. Keeping it real! :)
Certainly, it is that season to get sick, so it's not a surprise that it hit our whole family (minus my hubby, the lucky duck). And it reminds me to be thankful for the healthy days that we have most of the year. The ones where nothing much happens out of the ordinary.
So many days, we pine for more excitement, more of something we're not even sure of... rather than just being thankful for what's right in front of us. I'll give you a dramatic example. A friend from school recently had an affair on her husband and left him for another man... because her life seemed boring in her current situation. And I'm not making this post about judging her life and what she's gone through. Maybe her husband was a total loser. Then again, maybe he wasn't???
Sometimes, our human nature pushes us to assume there's something better around the corner, when "pretty great" stares us in the eyeballs today! When I think of this friend, it makes me reflect how thankful I am that my marriage approaches its fourteenth year... doing well, not full of back-flips, but steadily sustained... and happy. It's got areas for improvement just like everyone else's, but it makes me glad we haven't given up over the years even when times have gotten tough.
Frequently, I feel like my life is hum-drum regarding motherhood. The kids get home from school, throw their shoes and backpacks into our front walkway, and sprint out to the backyard to jump on the trampoline... making enough noise to instantly trigger one of my migraines. Or they race upstairs to play Wii or to watch a video for the hundredth time, making uncontrolled messes as they go.
In all honesty, the lunch preps, the laundry, the homework, the driving, the cleaning ... it can all start to feel so burdensome. You might relate, that your life doesn't amount to more than you'd planned up to this point as well. I'm thankful for all that I have, of course, just like you are. But my attitude often says otherwise. It's occasionally resentful and lame. The whole "poor me" routine replays its sad song like an old eighties jingle that I just can't get out of my head.
Even professionally, I thought I would have published my postmodern novel by now. It was a big 2011 goal of mine, that came and went. But I'm not giving up. I'm pressing forward because I believe it's the right thing to do. I have this strange calling to finish it and to edit the heck out of it, no matter what comes of it. Do you have any of those career goals that aren't quite where you'd expected them to be at this point? But it's okay because stuff happens. We get distracted. We run into bad luck. The stars aren't aligned for a certain editor on a particular day.
But life is life! And sometimes you see that friend who wishes she'd made the better choice... but gave up too soon. Or you're stuck at home with your kids as sick as dogs puking over the toilet or into a big yellow or turquoise bowl. Then... these experiences give us perspective (if we allow them to), even if just a few teaspoons at a time.
What about another friend of mine who has to take two months off work to be with her sick kid during his chemo treatments? I bet she'd rather be at home cleaning up his messes all day long, you know? But even then, she's so upbeat, just trusting God that things will work out.
Those boring days seem beautiful and glorious in contrast to some of the stories we hear about. And it's always about a certain mindset that gets us through those tough days or seasons in our own lives as well. Because we know that someone else has it a lot worse than we do. And we also realize that we are usually a lot stronger than we think we are. The tough times often prove how brave we actually are.
All this said, enjoy today! Whether you're home with sick kids like I am, or doing the monotonous pick-up taxi-cab routine in the next hour. Whether you're serving chicken broth and Saltines or a full-on roast with veggies and wine... take in this moment that you've been given.
And before you go making any drastic judgments about your boring life or your boring spouse or your boring kids or your less than perfect job... try to be thankful for what you've been given for this season. Sometimes stopping to reflect can be the most refreshing thing you've done all year. And since we're into 2012 now, why not take a few moments to write up a list of all the things you're thankful for?
Share your thoughts here. We'd love to hear from you. Keeping it real! :)
Labels: family, friends, motherhood
Thursday, December 02, 2010
dualisms
Self identity is a complicated topic. Not just who we are and the game pieces we play on the chess-board, but the difficulty of the contradictions within those definitions. For example, I am simultaneously a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. Now, I am starting to sound like Jorge Luis Borges' essay called, "Borges y yo," which discusses the variety of roles we fill using the metaphor of hats. But, aside from the Hispanic literary reference, I want to dig deeper, even than Borges' journey many decades ago.
Why is it that as a mom, I can feel peaceful and anxious on the same day, in the same ten minute period even? Why as a wife can I feel incredibly blissful one moment and passionately irate the next? My role as a daughter produces feelings of undying faithfulness in an instant but those of bitter frustration the next. As a sister, I am likely to sense a deep blood connection one month and a sibling rivalry the next. As a friend, I can feel irritable by one response and compelled by her next.
These contradictions can leave me confused to say the least. I think PMS and hormones are mostly to blame. But all kidding aside, even my male audience would agree that emotions can be a dangerous thing. What then do we base our definitions upon? Upon our feelings? Or, upon the commitments we have made over the years to the truths we believe? What about our faith that pulls us into a deeper calling, even more-so than our five senses at times?
For me, my belief in God takes part in this battle of dualisms as well. If I depend upon my feelings when it comes to faith, I can become perplexed about God too. His goodness fills the verdant garden, producing the sweetest oranges and grapes while simultaneously... His idle response to man's evil lurks passively in the shadows as well. For just outside of the garden, a murderer kills an innocent victim. And beyond that scenario, the gentle scent of a rose petal rests upon a peaceful breeze while a violent wind blows down a small village far, far away from there with its incessant attacks.
Most people have problems with the "problem" of evil and the "problem" of suffering or pain. If you've studied even one ounce of philosophy, you know this to be true as well. And yet, it leaves me hoping for more. For the world beyond this one. Where injustices are righted. Where faltered dreams and failures are restored. Where death has no sting. Where sickness has no bite.
Can we hope together for the heaven that awaits us? Is Jesus really preparing a home for you and for me regardless of how we feel about our circumstances now? If so, it should affect the way we evaluate our feelings; and it should certainly determine the way we define ourselves in our current roles. We should see them through His victorious lens, where justice and truth win in the end. But, it's not always easy!
As a multi-faceted being with a plethora of roles rotating round and round like a revolving door, I am challenged amidst these dilemmas. And yet, I am not defeated. My favorite verse from high school comes to mind: "I can do everything through (Christ) who strengthens me!" (Philippians 4:13). I can be a mom at all times, while also balancing my role as a wife, daughter, sister, and friend. I can feel flustered about the goodness and the evil that co-mingle around me on a daily basis. I can feel joyful and sad about the same person or circumstance. I can cry and laugh simultaneously.
And I can even feel mad at God for His slow response to the inequities that we all face. It is okay. It is allowed. We are human now, but will one day be fully transformed into His image. We are of two natures still... but are constantly being renewed into His perfection and into His glory! We can face today and its dualistic nature because we are not alone! We have His help at all times. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" (Matthew 7:7).
Keep the faith! Share your thoughts here. We'd love to hear from you. :)
Why is it that as a mom, I can feel peaceful and anxious on the same day, in the same ten minute period even? Why as a wife can I feel incredibly blissful one moment and passionately irate the next? My role as a daughter produces feelings of undying faithfulness in an instant but those of bitter frustration the next. As a sister, I am likely to sense a deep blood connection one month and a sibling rivalry the next. As a friend, I can feel irritable by one response and compelled by her next.
These contradictions can leave me confused to say the least. I think PMS and hormones are mostly to blame. But all kidding aside, even my male audience would agree that emotions can be a dangerous thing. What then do we base our definitions upon? Upon our feelings? Or, upon the commitments we have made over the years to the truths we believe? What about our faith that pulls us into a deeper calling, even more-so than our five senses at times?
For me, my belief in God takes part in this battle of dualisms as well. If I depend upon my feelings when it comes to faith, I can become perplexed about God too. His goodness fills the verdant garden, producing the sweetest oranges and grapes while simultaneously... His idle response to man's evil lurks passively in the shadows as well. For just outside of the garden, a murderer kills an innocent victim. And beyond that scenario, the gentle scent of a rose petal rests upon a peaceful breeze while a violent wind blows down a small village far, far away from there with its incessant attacks.
Most people have problems with the "problem" of evil and the "problem" of suffering or pain. If you've studied even one ounce of philosophy, you know this to be true as well. And yet, it leaves me hoping for more. For the world beyond this one. Where injustices are righted. Where faltered dreams and failures are restored. Where death has no sting. Where sickness has no bite.
Can we hope together for the heaven that awaits us? Is Jesus really preparing a home for you and for me regardless of how we feel about our circumstances now? If so, it should affect the way we evaluate our feelings; and it should certainly determine the way we define ourselves in our current roles. We should see them through His victorious lens, where justice and truth win in the end. But, it's not always easy!
As a multi-faceted being with a plethora of roles rotating round and round like a revolving door, I am challenged amidst these dilemmas. And yet, I am not defeated. My favorite verse from high school comes to mind: "I can do everything through (Christ) who strengthens me!" (Philippians 4:13). I can be a mom at all times, while also balancing my role as a wife, daughter, sister, and friend. I can feel flustered about the goodness and the evil that co-mingle around me on a daily basis. I can feel joyful and sad about the same person or circumstance. I can cry and laugh simultaneously.
And I can even feel mad at God for His slow response to the inequities that we all face. It is okay. It is allowed. We are human now, but will one day be fully transformed into His image. We are of two natures still... but are constantly being renewed into His perfection and into His glory! We can face today and its dualistic nature because we are not alone! We have His help at all times. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" (Matthew 7:7).
Keep the faith! Share your thoughts here. We'd love to hear from you. :)
Labels: daughters, dualism, faith, friends, moms, wives
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Laugh therapy
It's important to laugh amongst friends. This rings especially true during challenging times. It seems that everyone I talk to lately has something crazy going on in her life. Whether it's the possibility of a job loss, a child's health issue, or a frustrating marriage, life can feel overwhelming.
Our families are on over-load in a plethora of ways. From school-work to grocery shopping, doctor's visits, or unexpected bills, we just need a break. You know how you occasionally shut down your laptop to restart the system? You need to do this for yourself as well, even when that feels like an impossible goal.
You might question the consequences of shutting down. What if I miss an important email? What if I can't get the call-back number from that life-changing phone-call? What if I can't get the kids' uniforms washed by Friday night for their Saturday games because I was out relaxing?
But, if you don't take time to restart your metaphorical computer: "YOU," then you will crash and burn. You might even have to be sent back to the manufacturer and you better hope that you're still under warranty.
God certainly does have a good sense of humor though. And He readily offers lots of second chances too. But, if you're not quite ready to meet up with Him just yet, you should consider slowing down to laugh more here in the present.
Here are three ways to laugh more. First, you have to actually connect with funny people. If you only have boring friends who never do hilarious things, then make some new friends.
Second, make time to hang out with your funny friends. Go out to breakfast at Cocoa's and order soup and salad for breakfast, just because their blue cheese dressing is so d--n tasty. While you are there, share life together; talk about your kids, your spouse, and your pets.
Third, allow yourself to be funny as well. Laugh at life instead of taking things and people so seriously. A long time ago, a good friend shared a great technique for dealing with irritating people, and it really works.
When someone acts like an idiot, she says, "Oh, it must be their first day..." My husband and I have utilized this over the years, and the chilled-out attitude makes us laugh instead of getting pissed.
The joke might even be on one of your closest friends, who happens to be having a rough day. Maybe she just needs to borrow one of Monopoly's "Get out of Jail Free" cards because she's struggling today. Give a little grace by laughing with her instead of holding a grudge over her.
Raising kids is an obvious source of laughter as well, from all the bizarre things they do on any given day. But family-life gets challenging, so that's where comical friends come in to play. Rely on them instead of going it alone. Rest your head down on their shoulder to shed some tears. And be real, so that they'll be real with you.
At a friend's party over the weekend, we sat around her kitchen table and shared stories while devouring incredibly tasty food. After most guests had left, the faithful six of us laughed so hard that tears flooded our faces.
Aside from the positive emotional effects of laughter, I also burnt some gym-equivalent calories that night from working my tummy and cheek muscles. And while I can't divulge the topic of the humor that night (totally top-secret material), I'm sure you have a few similar memories of your own to fill in the blanks.
Remember to call a good friend when life gets you down. Don't put it off; just send a quick text or email right now. Laugh therapy is what you need to get through this season's trials. Share some of your laugh-out-loud moments. We'd love to hear from you. :)
Our families are on over-load in a plethora of ways. From school-work to grocery shopping, doctor's visits, or unexpected bills, we just need a break. You know how you occasionally shut down your laptop to restart the system? You need to do this for yourself as well, even when that feels like an impossible goal.
You might question the consequences of shutting down. What if I miss an important email? What if I can't get the call-back number from that life-changing phone-call? What if I can't get the kids' uniforms washed by Friday night for their Saturday games because I was out relaxing?
But, if you don't take time to restart your metaphorical computer: "YOU," then you will crash and burn. You might even have to be sent back to the manufacturer and you better hope that you're still under warranty.
God certainly does have a good sense of humor though. And He readily offers lots of second chances too. But, if you're not quite ready to meet up with Him just yet, you should consider slowing down to laugh more here in the present.
Here are three ways to laugh more. First, you have to actually connect with funny people. If you only have boring friends who never do hilarious things, then make some new friends.
Second, make time to hang out with your funny friends. Go out to breakfast at Cocoa's and order soup and salad for breakfast, just because their blue cheese dressing is so d--n tasty. While you are there, share life together; talk about your kids, your spouse, and your pets.
Third, allow yourself to be funny as well. Laugh at life instead of taking things and people so seriously. A long time ago, a good friend shared a great technique for dealing with irritating people, and it really works.
When someone acts like an idiot, she says, "Oh, it must be their first day..." My husband and I have utilized this over the years, and the chilled-out attitude makes us laugh instead of getting pissed.
The joke might even be on one of your closest friends, who happens to be having a rough day. Maybe she just needs to borrow one of Monopoly's "Get out of Jail Free" cards because she's struggling today. Give a little grace by laughing with her instead of holding a grudge over her.
Raising kids is an obvious source of laughter as well, from all the bizarre things they do on any given day. But family-life gets challenging, so that's where comical friends come in to play. Rely on them instead of going it alone. Rest your head down on their shoulder to shed some tears. And be real, so that they'll be real with you.
At a friend's party over the weekend, we sat around her kitchen table and shared stories while devouring incredibly tasty food. After most guests had left, the faithful six of us laughed so hard that tears flooded our faces.
Aside from the positive emotional effects of laughter, I also burnt some gym-equivalent calories that night from working my tummy and cheek muscles. And while I can't divulge the topic of the humor that night (totally top-secret material), I'm sure you have a few similar memories of your own to fill in the blanks.
Remember to call a good friend when life gets you down. Don't put it off; just send a quick text or email right now. Laugh therapy is what you need to get through this season's trials. Share some of your laugh-out-loud moments. We'd love to hear from you. :)
Labels: family, friends, kids, laughter, moms
Monday, December 07, 2009
Tightening the Financial Belt!
With the tightening of the financial belt this year, the thought of buying presents is pretty stressful. You sit down with a glass of Chardonnay to write out your list and feel flabbergasted by its length. It includes ten extended family members, four or five neighbors, about five close friends, three teachers, and then your own immediate family.
That doesn't include the charity gift for the upcoming Boy's Scout's party or the one for your daughter's dance instructor. Then, there are cards, snacks for the festivities, and you really do need some new shoes for your kids' church performance next Sunday. So, how can you do it on a thinner budget? Here are five suggestions to save a little dough this holiday season.
First, go electronic when possible. This might seem kind of impersonal, but it could actually save some money. Many online gift purchases include free or minimal shipping charges. If you have a Costco card, check out their amazing online gift baskets starting at just $19.99. Most of them include free shipping and handling, so what you see is what you get. Also, if you haven't tried Overstock.com for a variety of items, now's the time to check out their website. With their less than $3 shipping no matter what you buy, you're bound to save some green.
If you're looking for great deals on photo gifts, check out Snapfish.com. Their homepage offers at least one current coupon-code, but you can find others by googling "Snapfish coupon code." I recently saved 35% on one photo-book order and then found a coupon code for free shipping for my next order. For the family member who has everything, give her a book of adorable family pictures that will remain a coffee-table favorite for years to come.
Another electronic way to save money and the environment is to send e-cards. While people love posting your adorable pic to their fridge each year, it's not like they can't print it out themselves if they want to. You can even make a quick family website that includes a plethora of photos along with individual updates. You can actually include even more pics this way and people can browse it from their smart-phones while waiting in hectic holiday shopping lines. To design your own website for free, look at Webs.com and Bappy.com. If you're not techy enough to design your own website, check out a simpler option by posting pics for free on Picasa.com or Flickr.com.
Second, when you buy those $5-$10 gifts for acquaintances and neighbors, go for the chocolates from the health-food stores. Look at some of the goodies from Fresh & Easy, Sprouts, and Trader Joe's. Fresh & Easy has organic chocolate bars and a nicely decorated box of chocolate mints for only $1.99. Their chocolate covered almonds and raisins are less than $3.50. Sprouts sells bulk item chocolates and nuts for a reasonable price, so if you need to fill that vintage green jar or the festive snowman tin, this is a great option. For a steal of a deal, check out Trader Joe's for their 14 oz. classic cookie collection for only $3.99 in a beautiful red box.
Ranging from $5-$10, you can get a nice assortment of gourmet chocolates packaged with plenty of holiday spirit. Slap on a nice ribbon with a card, and you are good to go. You could even throw in a reasonably priced bottle of wine and voila, you're done. If you love Merlot, go for the $2.99 bottle of Recoleta from Argentina. It's flavorful and tastes fancier than you'd think.
Third, if you're hosting an event where you're including everyone from A to Z, then opt for a white elephant gift exchange. Instead of feeling personally obligated to buy a gift for everyone who enters your front door, just tell guests to bring a gently used wrapped gift. That used coconut candle might not have been your favorite last Christmas, but that doesn't mean your best friend's sister wouldn't love it.
If you've got less of a fiscal cap, you could opt for a regular gift exchange; just make sure to put a price range on it, like $10-$15. You should also make an age-appropriateness to its description, like "for the big kids and adults," or "just for adults." That way your ten-year-old nephew doesn't get that fantastic bottle of Pinot Noir (though his mom might try to bribe him for it).
Fourth, decide that you're not going to charge things this year. No matter how hard that is, try to stick to a budget. If you're eating out on Christmas Eve, opt for something middle range like Mimi's Cafe rather than a fancy Ritz Carlton type of restaurant. You can create fantastic memories while spending $50-$75 for four people, rather than $200-$300. Mimi's is offering a Holiday Feast To-Go that serves six to eight people for just $79.99. It includes a whole cooked turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cornbread stuffing, a vegetable medley, turkey gravy, cranberry relish, carrot raisin nut bread, a pumpkin pie, and whipped cream. Check out MimisCafe.com for more tasty details.
Also, as you list out people's wish-lists, target two or three of the best items, rather than feeling like you have to buy everything they want. Your kids are the tricky ones of course because if they're anything like mine, their lists are longer than last month's grocery receipts. But with a little bit of self-control, you can narrow down the list to find the most significant treasures.
Fifth, you can donate services to your loved ones. If you're a great pet-groomer or hair-cutter, you can create home-made coupons offering your service. Maybe you're awesome at a foreign language and your sister's son needs some help in espanol this year. She'll love you for it, and as long as you include candy with it as well, he'll love it too.
What about your own artistic skills? You could offer to paint a small mural for your niece, who loves flowers and butterflies. Perhaps your hubby is an awesome techy-man like mine. Why not offer one hour of his help to your father-in-law who has been driving Mom crazy with his newest electronic gadget? This wouldn't have to be their whole present, but it makes a great stocking stuffer and shows thought and creativity as well.
While these tricks won't fill your Christmas tree with money, they will help you to save a little bit and maybe even a lot depending on your enthusiasm. Share other money-saving tips here. We'd love to hear from you!
That doesn't include the charity gift for the upcoming Boy's Scout's party or the one for your daughter's dance instructor. Then, there are cards, snacks for the festivities, and you really do need some new shoes for your kids' church performance next Sunday. So, how can you do it on a thinner budget? Here are five suggestions to save a little dough this holiday season.
First, go electronic when possible. This might seem kind of impersonal, but it could actually save some money. Many online gift purchases include free or minimal shipping charges. If you have a Costco card, check out their amazing online gift baskets starting at just $19.99. Most of them include free shipping and handling, so what you see is what you get. Also, if you haven't tried Overstock.com for a variety of items, now's the time to check out their website. With their less than $3 shipping no matter what you buy, you're bound to save some green.
If you're looking for great deals on photo gifts, check out Snapfish.com. Their homepage offers at least one current coupon-code, but you can find others by googling "Snapfish coupon code." I recently saved 35% on one photo-book order and then found a coupon code for free shipping for my next order. For the family member who has everything, give her a book of adorable family pictures that will remain a coffee-table favorite for years to come.
Another electronic way to save money and the environment is to send e-cards. While people love posting your adorable pic to their fridge each year, it's not like they can't print it out themselves if they want to. You can even make a quick family website that includes a plethora of photos along with individual updates. You can actually include even more pics this way and people can browse it from their smart-phones while waiting in hectic holiday shopping lines. To design your own website for free, look at Webs.com and Bappy.com. If you're not techy enough to design your own website, check out a simpler option by posting pics for free on Picasa.com or Flickr.com.
Second, when you buy those $5-$10 gifts for acquaintances and neighbors, go for the chocolates from the health-food stores. Look at some of the goodies from Fresh & Easy, Sprouts, and Trader Joe's. Fresh & Easy has organic chocolate bars and a nicely decorated box of chocolate mints for only $1.99. Their chocolate covered almonds and raisins are less than $3.50. Sprouts sells bulk item chocolates and nuts for a reasonable price, so if you need to fill that vintage green jar or the festive snowman tin, this is a great option. For a steal of a deal, check out Trader Joe's for their 14 oz. classic cookie collection for only $3.99 in a beautiful red box.
Ranging from $5-$10, you can get a nice assortment of gourmet chocolates packaged with plenty of holiday spirit. Slap on a nice ribbon with a card, and you are good to go. You could even throw in a reasonably priced bottle of wine and voila, you're done. If you love Merlot, go for the $2.99 bottle of Recoleta from Argentina. It's flavorful and tastes fancier than you'd think.
Third, if you're hosting an event where you're including everyone from A to Z, then opt for a white elephant gift exchange. Instead of feeling personally obligated to buy a gift for everyone who enters your front door, just tell guests to bring a gently used wrapped gift. That used coconut candle might not have been your favorite last Christmas, but that doesn't mean your best friend's sister wouldn't love it.
If you've got less of a fiscal cap, you could opt for a regular gift exchange; just make sure to put a price range on it, like $10-$15. You should also make an age-appropriateness to its description, like "for the big kids and adults," or "just for adults." That way your ten-year-old nephew doesn't get that fantastic bottle of Pinot Noir (though his mom might try to bribe him for it).
Fourth, decide that you're not going to charge things this year. No matter how hard that is, try to stick to a budget. If you're eating out on Christmas Eve, opt for something middle range like Mimi's Cafe rather than a fancy Ritz Carlton type of restaurant. You can create fantastic memories while spending $50-$75 for four people, rather than $200-$300. Mimi's is offering a Holiday Feast To-Go that serves six to eight people for just $79.99. It includes a whole cooked turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cornbread stuffing, a vegetable medley, turkey gravy, cranberry relish, carrot raisin nut bread, a pumpkin pie, and whipped cream. Check out MimisCafe.com for more tasty details.
Also, as you list out people's wish-lists, target two or three of the best items, rather than feeling like you have to buy everything they want. Your kids are the tricky ones of course because if they're anything like mine, their lists are longer than last month's grocery receipts. But with a little bit of self-control, you can narrow down the list to find the most significant treasures.
Fifth, you can donate services to your loved ones. If you're a great pet-groomer or hair-cutter, you can create home-made coupons offering your service. Maybe you're awesome at a foreign language and your sister's son needs some help in espanol this year. She'll love you for it, and as long as you include candy with it as well, he'll love it too.
What about your own artistic skills? You could offer to paint a small mural for your niece, who loves flowers and butterflies. Perhaps your hubby is an awesome techy-man like mine. Why not offer one hour of his help to your father-in-law who has been driving Mom crazy with his newest electronic gadget? This wouldn't have to be their whole present, but it makes a great stocking stuffer and shows thought and creativity as well.
While these tricks won't fill your Christmas tree with money, they will help you to save a little bit and maybe even a lot depending on your enthusiasm. Share other money-saving tips here. We'd love to hear from you!
Labels: exchange, family, friends, gifts
