Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Perspective for Moms
While out walking the other day, I was met with a beautiful sight. I was at the top of a hill and looked out to see the mountaintops in the distance. The lower points of the mountains were hidden in the clouds and the early morning sun revealed a fresh, crisp panorama. From the lower points, it would have been impossible to appreciate the view in its fullness. It reminded me of how life is like that at times too. We lack perspective when we are in the valley, but when we are up high, we can see things more clearly, and perhaps with a more appreciative mindset.
It’s not that we’re at fault when times are tough and we hesitate to see the potential in a situation or in another person; however, we miss out on the good things in life if we don’t look to the higher ground. For example, when my husband and I are struggling through marital issues, as all couples do, if we look only to each other’s faults and not to the other’s potential strengths, we miss out on the blessings that the other person has to offer. This readily applies to the relationships with our children as well. When we see who they are at the moment and not who they will become, we can develop a myopic mindset, which hinders us from patiently loving our kids through their tough stages.
It’s odd how much perspective plays a role in our lives. It seems at times like I will forever be a stay-at-home mom trapped in my house with unending laundry piles, dishes to clean, diapers to change, and numerous other repetitive tasks. But, in truth, I know this time is precious and that I will blink and look back while my kids are graduating from high school, wondering, “Where did the time go?” Again, perspective plays a huge role in how I appreciate my current state. Someday, when my house is an empty nest, I think I will look back and miss the chaos of it all.
When we walk knowing that we are living for purpose, we are given the best perspective of all. What we do with each day either counts for something or for nothing. This seems so obvious, but it’s something we readily miss in our day to day busyness. We either do things or interact in such a way that is for positive or negative gain. I think this applies even to the menial tasks, such as house-keeping and diaper-changing. For instance, we can complete even the required chores with attitudes of love and thankfulness, rather than obligation and exhaustion.
While doing the fourth load of laundry of the day, I might feel like, “Why can’t they wash their own clothes for once?” or I can be thankful that I have a husband and three beautiful kids, whom I get to serve. Once more, it’s about perspective. While cooking and cleaning in the kitchen, I might resent that I am preparing the twenty-first meal of the week, or I can be appreciative for how my husband and kids are benefiting from my (usually) nourishing meals.
I am reminded of this in a humorous way when I think of how I feel blessed to hold my toddler's full diaper because it reminds me that she is eating and drinking well. Likewise, when my kids outgrow their clothes, it reminds me of how this time is flying by. Subsequently, I'm less likely to take the precious moments with them for granted.
Sometimes, it is hard to see things with a healthy perspective. When a close friend’s baby is stillborn, how can any goodness come from that? When a brother attempts suicide, how can you feel that there is any hope? For you, it might be a horrific lay-off at work or a sickness in your family. Maybe you are facing a move that is frightening or a change in your life that is emotionally unsettling.
During sorrowful and stressful situations, it is hard to maintain mental clarity and serenity. However, we know that we are not alone and that we can be there for each other as strong and caring women. When you have survived a storm, you are even more blessed by the beauty of the morning's sunrise. Likewise, you can give wisdom and love to those who are younger and less experienced in life's journey. You can help others in their search for a healthy perspective, as you broaden yours as well.
It’s not that we’re at fault when times are tough and we hesitate to see the potential in a situation or in another person; however, we miss out on the good things in life if we don’t look to the higher ground. For example, when my husband and I are struggling through marital issues, as all couples do, if we look only to each other’s faults and not to the other’s potential strengths, we miss out on the blessings that the other person has to offer. This readily applies to the relationships with our children as well. When we see who they are at the moment and not who they will become, we can develop a myopic mindset, which hinders us from patiently loving our kids through their tough stages.
It’s odd how much perspective plays a role in our lives. It seems at times like I will forever be a stay-at-home mom trapped in my house with unending laundry piles, dishes to clean, diapers to change, and numerous other repetitive tasks. But, in truth, I know this time is precious and that I will blink and look back while my kids are graduating from high school, wondering, “Where did the time go?” Again, perspective plays a huge role in how I appreciate my current state. Someday, when my house is an empty nest, I think I will look back and miss the chaos of it all.
When we walk knowing that we are living for purpose, we are given the best perspective of all. What we do with each day either counts for something or for nothing. This seems so obvious, but it’s something we readily miss in our day to day busyness. We either do things or interact in such a way that is for positive or negative gain. I think this applies even to the menial tasks, such as house-keeping and diaper-changing. For instance, we can complete even the required chores with attitudes of love and thankfulness, rather than obligation and exhaustion.
While doing the fourth load of laundry of the day, I might feel like, “Why can’t they wash their own clothes for once?” or I can be thankful that I have a husband and three beautiful kids, whom I get to serve. Once more, it’s about perspective. While cooking and cleaning in the kitchen, I might resent that I am preparing the twenty-first meal of the week, or I can be appreciative for how my husband and kids are benefiting from my (usually) nourishing meals.
I am reminded of this in a humorous way when I think of how I feel blessed to hold my toddler's full diaper because it reminds me that she is eating and drinking well. Likewise, when my kids outgrow their clothes, it reminds me of how this time is flying by. Subsequently, I'm less likely to take the precious moments with them for granted.
Sometimes, it is hard to see things with a healthy perspective. When a close friend’s baby is stillborn, how can any goodness come from that? When a brother attempts suicide, how can you feel that there is any hope? For you, it might be a horrific lay-off at work or a sickness in your family. Maybe you are facing a move that is frightening or a change in your life that is emotionally unsettling.
During sorrowful and stressful situations, it is hard to maintain mental clarity and serenity. However, we know that we are not alone and that we can be there for each other as strong and caring women. When you have survived a storm, you are even more blessed by the beauty of the morning's sunrise. Likewise, you can give wisdom and love to those who are younger and less experienced in life's journey. You can help others in their search for a healthy perspective, as you broaden yours as well.
Labels: kids, moms, perspective
