Monday, May 24, 2010
Documentary through a child's eyes
My daughter loves to take pictures. So, when she asks to take some pictures, I somewhat reluctantly hand over my $400 camera while reminding her to be careful. Then, she comes back with shots of everything in my house, ranging from one of me typing at my laptop to ten different angles of my dog's head. She captures images of her feet, our couches and china hutch, along with some unique views from each downstairs room.
Now she's outside as I write, so I can only imagine that I'm going to have a plethora of tree and plant shots, along with hundreds of brightly colored water balloon pictures as well. She's shooting another one of our dog at the moment. What a sweet doggie we've had over these past seven years, who tenderly puts up with so much "love" from our three kids.
One thing that always surprises me when I hand off the camera to one of my kids is the interesting perspective that I gain after viewing their pics. They frequently love to take pictures of our family pictures. It's as if they realize the immeasurable value of capturing the moment. They too sense that life is short. Hence, the plethora of questions about life and death and heaven and quandaries like, "What hurts more, getting eaten by a crocodile or falling into hot lava?"
When we see a picture of a picture, we regain a sense of what's important. To view a picture of a picture of my kids reminds me of how quickly they're growing; it helps me to contemplate the fleetingness of this life. Aren't we all just a picture inside of a bigger picture? The kids seem to get that but sometimes we feel so self important, as if our tiny life makes the world go round.
I think it's because we lose a sense of the vastness around us. We forget to look up at the clouds... to search for a tyrannosaurus-rex or a unicorn. But, sometimes you have to look up in order to gain perspective. You have to take your eyes off of yourself and your current problems or hardships. Instead, we must gaze at the beauty around us and soak in our children's laughter, even when those actions contradict our feelings.
My daughter just said that she loves to look up in the sky to think of our kitty who is now in heaven. She misses him, so she photographs places of his memory to think of him. Just like her, we don't forget our losses or the trials, but we can choose to loosen their grip on our hearts. Instead of living like the dead, we can honor those who are left behind by enjoying the life that we have left to live. We can revel in the mystery of a new day because we are lucky enough to wake up with a fresh start.
So, what does this mean for today? It means that you and I need to get the most out of each morning, afternoon, and evening. We need to forgive, to love, to slow down, to breathe deeply, to take the 30 seconds during our walk to smell the double delight roses that we usually miss.
It means we need to love our kids more graciously as well. To overlook the little things, like their messes, their whiny tantrums, their grumpy faces, and their plethora of "oopses". You know, the 500 spilled cups of water, milk, and juice before 10am (if yours are anything like mine). It means we make the most of what we have right now, absorbing the blessings of today instead of wallowing in the hurts and frustrations of yesterday.
Share some of your fun photo stories here. Any budding photographers in your household? We'd love to hear from you. :)
Now she's outside as I write, so I can only imagine that I'm going to have a plethora of tree and plant shots, along with hundreds of brightly colored water balloon pictures as well. She's shooting another one of our dog at the moment. What a sweet doggie we've had over these past seven years, who tenderly puts up with so much "love" from our three kids.
One thing that always surprises me when I hand off the camera to one of my kids is the interesting perspective that I gain after viewing their pics. They frequently love to take pictures of our family pictures. It's as if they realize the immeasurable value of capturing the moment. They too sense that life is short. Hence, the plethora of questions about life and death and heaven and quandaries like, "What hurts more, getting eaten by a crocodile or falling into hot lava?"
When we see a picture of a picture, we regain a sense of what's important. To view a picture of a picture of my kids reminds me of how quickly they're growing; it helps me to contemplate the fleetingness of this life. Aren't we all just a picture inside of a bigger picture? The kids seem to get that but sometimes we feel so self important, as if our tiny life makes the world go round.
I think it's because we lose a sense of the vastness around us. We forget to look up at the clouds... to search for a tyrannosaurus-rex or a unicorn. But, sometimes you have to look up in order to gain perspective. You have to take your eyes off of yourself and your current problems or hardships. Instead, we must gaze at the beauty around us and soak in our children's laughter, even when those actions contradict our feelings.
My daughter just said that she loves to look up in the sky to think of our kitty who is now in heaven. She misses him, so she photographs places of his memory to think of him. Just like her, we don't forget our losses or the trials, but we can choose to loosen their grip on our hearts. Instead of living like the dead, we can honor those who are left behind by enjoying the life that we have left to live. We can revel in the mystery of a new day because we are lucky enough to wake up with a fresh start.
So, what does this mean for today? It means that you and I need to get the most out of each morning, afternoon, and evening. We need to forgive, to love, to slow down, to breathe deeply, to take the 30 seconds during our walk to smell the double delight roses that we usually miss.
It means we need to love our kids more graciously as well. To overlook the little things, like their messes, their whiny tantrums, their grumpy faces, and their plethora of "oopses". You know, the 500 spilled cups of water, milk, and juice before 10am (if yours are anything like mine). It means we make the most of what we have right now, absorbing the blessings of today instead of wallowing in the hurts and frustrations of yesterday.
Share some of your fun photo stories here. Any budding photographers in your household? We'd love to hear from you. :)
Labels: documentary, family, kids, moms, perspective
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Lemons and Sugar
Lemons make fantastic lemonade. Sure, this is obvious, right? But without some sugar, they don't concoct a very good juice. That's how life is sometimes. Life gives you a lemon and then you have a choice. You either pucker your lips at its sour taste or you add some sugar.
Whether it's a pay-cut or a delayed job offer, you have to maintain perspective. For some, it's a stubborn health issue. Maybe you even have to give up coffee or wine because of it, which adds insult to injury. Perhaps a friend has recently separated from her spouse because of an affair. How can we spin that in a positive light, right? It could just be a sister or a cousin who is going through a deep depression. You want to help, but you're not sure how to show that you care.
Even the most sour situations have hope because you can always add more sugar to the lemonade. Sometimes the amount and type you add depend on the situation. But, whatever life throws in your direction, you can get through its obstacles because of your positive responses and your upbeat attitude. For the lighter trials, buy some cheerful flowers or get a new energized haircut. A cup of strong coffee and an uplifting chat with a close friend can provide comfort as well.
For some of the bigger issues, look at these suggestions. Try visiting a retirement center to encourage someone whose health is much worse than your own. Or, if you're having a hard time seeing past your own injustices, try volunteering at an abused women's shelter to glean strength and perseverance from those amazing women. If finances are tight, spend a few days helping out a needy family down in Tijuana. You'll never look at a cardboard box the same way again and your downsizing from a four to a two bedroom house won't seem quite so bleak.
If sugar isn't enough, time is sure to help as well. You know how lemonade tastes even better once it has time to sit overnight in the chilled refrigerator? Life can be like that too. The flavors of some situations just need time to settle. Even though the lemon's sour flavor is not wiped out, over time, the sweetness masks it sufficiently. The tartness and the sweetness eventually mix together to make a beautiful flavor. Over time, some of life's struggles can be masked as well by all of the other blessings around us: our kids, our parents, our friends, our aptitudes and our hobbies. Over the weeks and months, by focusing on the good things in our lives, we maintain a measured perspective which allows us to take hold of the splendor around us.
Each family is made of its own special recipe, just like lemonade. No two are exactly the same, so we have to be fair to our own circumstances as well. We can't compare our situation to the Jones' next door or to the Browns' two blocks over. If we get into thinking our lives need to be exactly like another family's, then we miss out on what's right in front of us. Sure, hardships are a pain in the you-know-what, but they do make us stronger, smarter, and funnier. If we take things in stride, then we're ready for the next best thing, the sweetest lemonade imaginable.
Whether it's a pay-cut or a delayed job offer, you have to maintain perspective. For some, it's a stubborn health issue. Maybe you even have to give up coffee or wine because of it, which adds insult to injury. Perhaps a friend has recently separated from her spouse because of an affair. How can we spin that in a positive light, right? It could just be a sister or a cousin who is going through a deep depression. You want to help, but you're not sure how to show that you care.
Even the most sour situations have hope because you can always add more sugar to the lemonade. Sometimes the amount and type you add depend on the situation. But, whatever life throws in your direction, you can get through its obstacles because of your positive responses and your upbeat attitude. For the lighter trials, buy some cheerful flowers or get a new energized haircut. A cup of strong coffee and an uplifting chat with a close friend can provide comfort as well.
For some of the bigger issues, look at these suggestions. Try visiting a retirement center to encourage someone whose health is much worse than your own. Or, if you're having a hard time seeing past your own injustices, try volunteering at an abused women's shelter to glean strength and perseverance from those amazing women. If finances are tight, spend a few days helping out a needy family down in Tijuana. You'll never look at a cardboard box the same way again and your downsizing from a four to a two bedroom house won't seem quite so bleak.
If sugar isn't enough, time is sure to help as well. You know how lemonade tastes even better once it has time to sit overnight in the chilled refrigerator? Life can be like that too. The flavors of some situations just need time to settle. Even though the lemon's sour flavor is not wiped out, over time, the sweetness masks it sufficiently. The tartness and the sweetness eventually mix together to make a beautiful flavor. Over time, some of life's struggles can be masked as well by all of the other blessings around us: our kids, our parents, our friends, our aptitudes and our hobbies. Over the weeks and months, by focusing on the good things in our lives, we maintain a measured perspective which allows us to take hold of the splendor around us.
Each family is made of its own special recipe, just like lemonade. No two are exactly the same, so we have to be fair to our own circumstances as well. We can't compare our situation to the Jones' next door or to the Browns' two blocks over. If we get into thinking our lives need to be exactly like another family's, then we miss out on what's right in front of us. Sure, hardships are a pain in the you-know-what, but they do make us stronger, smarter, and funnier. If we take things in stride, then we're ready for the next best thing, the sweetest lemonade imaginable.
Labels: family, lemonade, perspective
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Perspective for Moms
While out walking the other day, I was met with a beautiful sight. I was at the top of a hill and looked out to see the mountaintops in the distance. The lower points of the mountains were hidden in the clouds and the early morning sun revealed a fresh, crisp panorama. From the lower points, it would have been impossible to appreciate the view in its fullness. It reminded me of how life is like that at times too. We lack perspective when we are in the valley, but when we are up high, we can see things more clearly, and perhaps with a more appreciative mindset.
It’s not that we’re at fault when times are tough and we hesitate to see the potential in a situation or in another person; however, we miss out on the good things in life if we don’t look to the higher ground. For example, when my husband and I are struggling through marital issues, as all couples do, if we look only to each other’s faults and not to the other’s potential strengths, we miss out on the blessings that the other person has to offer. This readily applies to the relationships with our children as well. When we see who they are at the moment and not who they will become, we can develop a myopic mindset, which hinders us from patiently loving our kids through their tough stages.
It’s odd how much perspective plays a role in our lives. It seems at times like I will forever be a stay-at-home mom trapped in my house with unending laundry piles, dishes to clean, diapers to change, and numerous other repetitive tasks. But, in truth, I know this time is precious and that I will blink and look back while my kids are graduating from high school, wondering, “Where did the time go?” Again, perspective plays a huge role in how I appreciate my current state. Someday, when my house is an empty nest, I think I will look back and miss the chaos of it all.
When we walk knowing that we are living for purpose, we are given the best perspective of all. What we do with each day either counts for something or for nothing. This seems so obvious, but it’s something we readily miss in our day to day busyness. We either do things or interact in such a way that is for positive or negative gain. I think this applies even to the menial tasks, such as house-keeping and diaper-changing. For instance, we can complete even the required chores with attitudes of love and thankfulness, rather than obligation and exhaustion.
While doing the fourth load of laundry of the day, I might feel like, “Why can’t they wash their own clothes for once?” or I can be thankful that I have a husband and three beautiful kids, whom I get to serve. Once more, it’s about perspective. While cooking and cleaning in the kitchen, I might resent that I am preparing the twenty-first meal of the week, or I can be appreciative for how my husband and kids are benefiting from my (usually) nourishing meals.
I am reminded of this in a humorous way when I think of how I feel blessed to hold my toddler's full diaper because it reminds me that she is eating and drinking well. Likewise, when my kids outgrow their clothes, it reminds me of how this time is flying by. Subsequently, I'm less likely to take the precious moments with them for granted.
Sometimes, it is hard to see things with a healthy perspective. When a close friend’s baby is stillborn, how can any goodness come from that? When a brother attempts suicide, how can you feel that there is any hope? For you, it might be a horrific lay-off at work or a sickness in your family. Maybe you are facing a move that is frightening or a change in your life that is emotionally unsettling.
During sorrowful and stressful situations, it is hard to maintain mental clarity and serenity. However, we know that we are not alone and that we can be there for each other as strong and caring women. When you have survived a storm, you are even more blessed by the beauty of the morning's sunrise. Likewise, you can give wisdom and love to those who are younger and less experienced in life's journey. You can help others in their search for a healthy perspective, as you broaden yours as well.
It’s not that we’re at fault when times are tough and we hesitate to see the potential in a situation or in another person; however, we miss out on the good things in life if we don’t look to the higher ground. For example, when my husband and I are struggling through marital issues, as all couples do, if we look only to each other’s faults and not to the other’s potential strengths, we miss out on the blessings that the other person has to offer. This readily applies to the relationships with our children as well. When we see who they are at the moment and not who they will become, we can develop a myopic mindset, which hinders us from patiently loving our kids through their tough stages.
It’s odd how much perspective plays a role in our lives. It seems at times like I will forever be a stay-at-home mom trapped in my house with unending laundry piles, dishes to clean, diapers to change, and numerous other repetitive tasks. But, in truth, I know this time is precious and that I will blink and look back while my kids are graduating from high school, wondering, “Where did the time go?” Again, perspective plays a huge role in how I appreciate my current state. Someday, when my house is an empty nest, I think I will look back and miss the chaos of it all.
When we walk knowing that we are living for purpose, we are given the best perspective of all. What we do with each day either counts for something or for nothing. This seems so obvious, but it’s something we readily miss in our day to day busyness. We either do things or interact in such a way that is for positive or negative gain. I think this applies even to the menial tasks, such as house-keeping and diaper-changing. For instance, we can complete even the required chores with attitudes of love and thankfulness, rather than obligation and exhaustion.
While doing the fourth load of laundry of the day, I might feel like, “Why can’t they wash their own clothes for once?” or I can be thankful that I have a husband and three beautiful kids, whom I get to serve. Once more, it’s about perspective. While cooking and cleaning in the kitchen, I might resent that I am preparing the twenty-first meal of the week, or I can be appreciative for how my husband and kids are benefiting from my (usually) nourishing meals.
I am reminded of this in a humorous way when I think of how I feel blessed to hold my toddler's full diaper because it reminds me that she is eating and drinking well. Likewise, when my kids outgrow their clothes, it reminds me of how this time is flying by. Subsequently, I'm less likely to take the precious moments with them for granted.
Sometimes, it is hard to see things with a healthy perspective. When a close friend’s baby is stillborn, how can any goodness come from that? When a brother attempts suicide, how can you feel that there is any hope? For you, it might be a horrific lay-off at work or a sickness in your family. Maybe you are facing a move that is frightening or a change in your life that is emotionally unsettling.
During sorrowful and stressful situations, it is hard to maintain mental clarity and serenity. However, we know that we are not alone and that we can be there for each other as strong and caring women. When you have survived a storm, you are even more blessed by the beauty of the morning's sunrise. Likewise, you can give wisdom and love to those who are younger and less experienced in life's journey. You can help others in their search for a healthy perspective, as you broaden yours as well.
Labels: kids, moms, perspective
