Mariposa Kisses (aka Dianne's Blog)

It's important to take time out for each of our kids. In the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it's easy to forget that a little bit of one-on-one time with our children really matters. And their time in the spot-light is significant as well.

Within the past few days, I've attended three award ceremonies, one for each of our kids. A balloon was given to our bounciest middle child. Our oldest kid got a candy cane full of Reese's cups. And our little diva got a bouquet of salmon-colored carnations for her job well done.

For each assembly, my iPhone was jamming to catch pics and video clips. I was balancing my Starbucks cup and the treats for my kids, trying to catch my breath from my morning sprint, thinking "Was my van parked in the red?" You've been there before, right?

Occasionally, I ask myself, "Is it worth all the madness?" I mean, do you think they'd really care if I didn't make it to the assembly, just this once? And we all know the answer, right? OF COURSE IT MATTERS! Because when your kid sees YOUR beautiful smile staring over at them (even if they pretend like you're not there because they're playing the "too cool" routine), it makes him or her feel like a million dollars. They feel loved, cared for, valued, and IMPORTANT!

And as I chat around with other moms lately, I'm more aware than ever that we're all running on fumes and caffeine. We can barely get our kids dropped off before the bell signals its louder-than-life announcement that we're LATE!

But even amidst the psychotic rat-race that we're all in, we MUST SLOW DOWN to make our kids feel that they're calm in our embrace even in those stressful moments. It's worth the effort to park the car, run them to the gate, and to give them that big bear hug that reminds them we'll be there to pick them up at the end of the day.

They know we'll all sit down for a warm dinner (even if it's take-out, let's be honest people) together. Even when I ask each of my kids the same questions for the hundredth time, like who they sat by at lunch and what game they played at recess, they know it's because I care about the details of their day. In short, they KNOW that I love them.

And we as parents need those little smiles and hugs to keep us going as well. We get to replay those beautiful moments captured in mere minutes inside our hearts and on our smart phones throughout the day. They motivate us when we're dragging and find it difficult to picture the to-do list all checked off. Grabbing those special moments helps us to have perspective when we can't envision the end of the day arriving quickly enough.

But when life starts to feel too crowded for those precious moments, then it's time for us to cut out some of the other stuff from our busy schedules. If we don't make the time for our kids today, then no-one else will.

The truth is that they really want the winks, smiles, hugs, and words of affirmation from us more than from anyone else in the whole world. And not getting it will affect the way they view themselves and the world around them.

Even if you have a few shy kids who don't let you know how much they appreciate your attendance at their assemblies, your time volunteering in their classrooms, or your extra kisses before drop-offs, know this: IT ALL MATTERS! So don't give up moms and dads, even if your energy level is so low that you can barely reach the coffee pot each morning.

You are making a difference in your kids' lives. You are doing an amazing job of shaping the next generation because of the sacrifices you're willing to make this season. Keeping it real. Share your thoughts here. We'd love to hear from you! :)

Labels: family, kids, parents, time

It's that time of year again for some good old fashioned spring cleaning. Summer break feels like it's just around the corner and the kids will be home for warmer and longer days in no time. So, it's time to de-clutter now while you've got a bit of free time on your hands. Here are three simple tips to get started.

First, throw it in the trash! If no one else can use that thing, whatever it happens to be, just get rid of it. Recycle if possible, of course, but toss it and let it rot somewhere else, just no longer in your house. It feels so cathartic to toss those old unnecessary items into that brown or blue bin on the side-yard.

When my husband and I recently cleaned out our garage and laundry room, we threw away and recycled tons of items that we literally hadn't used in the last two years. Stuff from shoe boxes to paint containers disappeared and we now have more available space. In fact, our new red mini-van actually fits into the garage now! :)

Second, donate your junk! If you aren't using it anymore go ahead and bless it over to a friend or a co-worker. They might need that baby bouncer or those tropical seafood cookbooks you haven't used in the last decade. And if you have too much crap to dispense of individually, just call the AMVETS or the Salvation Army. Then you'll even get a tax write-off as well.

We placed a plethora of items out on our curb, from wooden chairs to clothes and an old television. About fifteen minutes later, a guy drove by and shoved it all into his van. We were glad he could use it or sell it for his own good. Honestly, it made it easier for us not to have to haul it all back into the garage later that night.

Third, reorganize your stuff! Sometimes you just can't part with those beloved parcels. But you could store them differently to minimize the chaos. Try rearranging stressful zones with shelves for books, bins for closet items, and boxes for keepsakes that only come out once or twice a year.

I shoved a bunch of Christmas items into storage bins to free up some space in the laundry room. Since they're sealed, I know they will be snug and safe until next Christmas. Now I have more space for cleaning supplies and beach towels. A few of my shelves even sit empty, which is a first.

You'll experience three main benefits by going through this process to de-clutter your home. First, you'll instantly feel more peaceful. I couldn't believe how much better I felt about my whole house just knowing I'd gotten rid of so much clutter in one day. Second, you'll help someone else out by donating and you'll assist the environment by recycling. Third, you'll open up more space to display some of the stuff you really care about and need.

Keeping it real. Share your thoughts about de-cluttering here. We'd love to hear from you.

Labels: de-clutter, kids, parents, spring cleaning

As Americans, most of us long to be gloriously happy. To achieve that goal, we each respond to an innate drive within to win the most stuff, to be number one at everything, and to acquire the most goods. Whether it's Happy Meal toys for the kids or bigger ones for the parents, we long to own more junk. And we want it to be the best and biggest and the most popular of all.

We often submit to a common misconception that if we could simply access or achieve "such and such," then joyful harmony would follow. For example, if that side of the wall that drives me nuts just gets repainted, then I'll love my house so much more. Or if my kids would simply clean up more of their own messes, I'd be a happier mom and wife. Perhaps if you get that raise at work, then you'll feel more valued.

Many of us feel like we'd be truly happy if we just had unlimited financial resources. Then we could buy the whole planet, but would we really be more satisfied? Some people feel like they'd have better self esteem if they just had a brand new wardrobe. A new car. A new spouse. A new house. A new job. A new dog. And a new pair of sunglasses to see the world through rosy pink lenses.

Similarly, we apply the "if this, then that" type of reasoning to close relationships: marriages, friendships, and extended family associations. We assume that if our spouse would just do this or that, then the marriage would be fabulous. If that friend would just listen better, we'd be so much closer. Maybe you blame your parents' busy schedules for their limited social involvement. If only they would spend more time with your kids, then all would be right with the world.

And it's not that some of these things aren't grounded in truth. Because some are just obviously true. I'd feel happier if lots of stuff went the way I wanted it to. But this idea that we can't be happy without obtaining these ends can tie us up into ridiculous knots. So we must stop to examine some of their claims along the way. If we really owned the most stuff, were the best at everything we did, and won everything we could possibly win, would we really end up so overwhelmingly blissful?

I think the answer is obvious: that we would not possess supernatural happiness. And yet, we play this game like we can't be happy inside of our own set of circumstances. We get lost in the ineffectual mantras of "If I were just prettier or smarter or richer or more successful like so-and-so..." which weigh us down and actually create discontentment.

To compare our stuff to someone else's treasure is neither reasonable nor effective. Why should you have everything that your neighbor has in the first place? Also, what good does it do to gripe over the stuff you can't have right now? Some would say that it allows you to be more vicious in your determination. Maybe it's the edge you need to climb to the top. Maybe if you long to win the Lotto enough, then it will eventually happen for you.

If that friend doesn't want to invest the time right now, then maybe you should just let her have it and bail out of the relationship as well. If she won't say sorry first, you should just write her off as a friend, right? Or perhaps, a state of contentedness right where you're at is the thing that will bring true happiness.

Today I freaked out at my daughter because she refused to quit adding toys to a pretend breakfast area she'd created. She wouldn't give me back the bin of books or Legos and I went ballistic. I got so upset because I was exhausted and couldn't do anything to make her listen to me.

I had started to believe that if I could just have a cleaner house, I would feel better about myself and happier in my countenance. But, the truth is that I ended up feeling like crap for having gotten so mad at my four-year-old. We do this with stuff too. If I just had the new car? The new job? The new relationship? The new vacation planned? And then those get dirty, old, and expired too.

When we waste too much time chasing the wind that can NOT be caught, we pay the price. So we need to pause to evaluate the kind of goals we want to have in the first place. Since "happiness" is most people's main aspiration in life, it seems reasonable to slow down to examine what that looks like for your particular family. Decide if money will truly make you happy.

Figure out which relationships are the most important. Being number one at your office might make you the best corporate climber but one of the worst possible dads. Which will make you happier? What about your home? Does it really have to look like it's out of a magazine for it to be good enough?

What if you just take a break to go and play with your kids even though it stays messy as a result? How about mopping just the messy spots rather than all of the floors so that you carve out some quality family time? The investment with the kids will likely produce the most satisfaction in the end.

Making sacrifices once you decide what truly makes you happy means that you'll miss out on some stuff and some public accolades as a result. You might not get the boat or the motor-home this year. You might have to wait for a new car and settle for a used one. You might have to give up the promotion if you're not willing to put in sixty hour work-weeks.

Similarly, you might have to be more gracious towards certain relationships and quit blaming their lack of success on everyone else. If that relationship is super important, then stop whining and invest in those people. If your relative has no time for you, offer to help him or her with one of their projects. Don't make excuses... "if only she or he would do this..." Get over yourself and go for the ultimate goal to be happy by making the right choices.

While feelings of happiness wax and wane depending on the kind of day we've each had, a state of relative contentment can be attained by taking some time out to evaluate what you really want in life. If your family, other close relationships, and faith come up on the top of the list, I think you're headed in the right direction.

And it doesn't mean you can't buy a new shirt or get a new hairdo. Nor does it mean you can't get that season sport's package or pick out some fun paint colors to spritz up the house. Just make sure your own happiness isn't contingent upon those acquisitions or accomplishments. Be content with what's staring you in the face. Share what makes you happy. We'd love to hear from you! :)

Labels: happiness, kids, parents

As moms, we learn to go with the flow, pretty much on a daily basis. Survival mode isn't always our preference, but it is a learned discipline that we must perfect. Today was no exception. The morning routine seemed fairly uneventful... toast and fruit for breakfast, lunches packed, backpacks thrown out the front door. And into the van we raced!

Then, my squeamish middle daughter saw a slug on the ground which made her gag inside the van, which turned into full-fledged vomiting. So, I ran into the laundry room through the garage to grab the Oxi-clean and five small towels. After cleaning the van as fast as I could, we darted into the chilly morning to drop off my son. At least one Bright would make it to school today.

The drive home was relatively peaceful and the morning seemed typical: cleaning, emailing, writing, laundry, and preparing snacks. But at around eleven in the morning, my littlest ran downstairs crying really hard. I knew something horrific had happened. After calming her down a bit, I discovered she had fallen down with a pencil in her mouth. Blood was oozing from her nose and her mouth, so my response was pretty remarkable, given that my nervous heart was racing like a cheetah.

Off to Kaiser we zoomed. At this point, I was convinced that my middle daughter did not actually have the flu, so thankfully it was safe again for her to ride in the van. But my littlest could not stop crying and her state of shock was freaking me out. We got to her pediatrician in a flash, thanks to my super-mommy driving and my wizardry performance for a same hour appointment.

Thankfully, the injury did not cause any permanent damage and no stitches were required. A McDonald's Happy Meal (she got the new Barbie) and some anesthetic mouth-wash transformed her sad face into a renewed princess smile. And we continued on with the day. She might even rally for her ballet class later this evening. And she is certainly enjoying the soft food regimen: melted caramel, ice cream, and lots of fun kid-drinks.

Just remember that as moms, we are called to something greater: the ability to live amongst controlled chaos at all times! Keep it up ladies! You are doing an awesome job! Share one of your crazy stories here. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: chaos, kids, moms

I was at my daughter's preschool yesterday in such a great mood. You know when the birds are singing a duet just for your benefit and Mr. Sun's rays shine down on you alone? You feel like you're in the 2007 movie Enchanted, singing next to Amy Adams where love fills the air. The day is going along great and then, like a tornado springing down from the heavens, someone derails your happy day.

The comment took me completely by surprise. As I walked into the classroom to pick up my youngest daughter, one of her teachers darted a critical and unapologetic comment down my spine. Her tone was harsh and humiliating and all I could tell her was, "Well, we're working on it."

It stung like a bee sting because I actually care about this person's opinion of me and of my daughter. Unfortunately, the stinger dug deeper than I'd initially realized. I tossed and turned throughout part of the night about how I should respond. But we've all experienced this before, right?

After the over-digestion of this dilemma last night, I awoke and still felt irritated. And I'm frustrated that it's still bugging me. But then it hit me! We all say stupid stuff sometimes. Haven't you done it a plethora of times before as well? Your unkind words come out in a zingy tone and then you wish you'd been able to keep your big mouth shut. You long to type in "Control Z" but it's too late.

As moms, we owe it to one another to give a pass when the stupid stuff comes out. If there are repeated cruel offenses, then it's worth rectifying the situation. But if the icy cold remarks are few and far between, then we should all just give some grace. Who knows if my daughter's teacher had just had a really rough day? Maybe she was exhausted and took out her pent up frustrations on us.

It's hard to act like the bigger person, even as adults, but the pay-off is huge. First, we get to feel good about doing the right thing. Second, we get to act as mature role models for our kids. When they see us choosing not to overreact to someone's idiocy, they too will gain a sense of metered calm in their own social situations.

The obvious truth is that we're surrounded by imperfect people who occasionally say stupid stuff. So before your next confrontation with an unfriendly encounter, decide how you want to respond: by freaking out or by giving that person a second chance?

Keeping it real. Share your thoughts on dealing with difficult people or situations. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: kids, parents, school

If you're a busy parent (like most of us), then you are always trying to share valuable moments with your children amidst the plethora of demands vying for your time. So, here are five easy ways to connect with your kids, even if you're thrashing around like a great white shark, just trying to fit it all in.

First, write simple notes inside of your child's lunch-pail. Today I gave my son some fun facts about the world's tallest mountains. Apparently Mt. Everest has the highest altitude at 8,848 meters above sea level, but it is not the tallest mountain. Geology.com awards the proud island Mauna Kea as the "tallest mountain," which is 10,000 plus meters above the sea floor.

And for a third bit of trivia to the mountain contest, I informed my son that Chimborazo of Ecuador is the highest mountain above the earth's center (6,310 meters). So, just try to connect with your kid over a simple bit of kid-trivia. Or it could be as simple as writing, "I love you" on his or her napkin.

Second, remember to go on special one-on-one dates with your child. If you have more than one, this is especially important. It's hard to fit in time with each kid for a special ice cream treat or a movie at the Plaza. But it's worth scheduling in the time, even if you have to cut something else out. During your special Mommy or Daddy time with your daughter or son, you get to listen with both ears to their thoughts and concerns.

Even if you just end up shooting the breeze about the newest Wii or XBox game or their new favorite song, you'll be establishing roots for your relationship. Ask them basic questions, like where they want to go for summer vacation or what their favorite ride is at Legoland or Disneyland. It's the simple stuff that adds up to form meaningful connections.

Third, draw a picture of your kid at your favorite place together. Maybe it's a pencil drawing of you and her at the beach watching the dolphins swim by. Or, perhaps you will get those crayons out and draw one of the two of you cuddling together eating popcorn while watching a movie.

Whatever you draw, you should take the time to tell your child why the picture is special to you. Let her know that you value your time together. Remind your kid that you care about her because she belongs to you. Then, paste it up on her closet door or frame it and nail it up on her bedroom wall. Your child will see it and think of your consistent relationship no matter how busy and crazy life gets.

Fourth, enjoy the great outdoors together. Go for a walk or a bike ride around the neighborhood. If you have an adventurous side, you could even put your dog's leash on and head out to the wild hillsides of the Inland Empire for a nature hike. If you feel up to it, pack a picnic with fun treats and lots of water as well.

As it warms up, you could go swimming together or run through the sprinklers if you'd prefer to stay in your own backyard. Whatever you do, breathe in the breezy sun-filled air and create some memories together while exercising a bit along the way.

Fifth, dress up in funny clothes together. This will even make your bigger kid(s) laugh. Ask your child(ren) to put on snow clothes inside of your house and then add a summer straw hat to add flair to the fun uniform. You can take turns photographing each other as well.

I have a picture of my three kids dressed up in snow clothes from last summer. People used to see their picture on my phone and thought it was from some kind of a ski trip. I'd say, "Nope, it was inside of our house from a fun round of dress-up." Some of you might think this sounds strange, but if it helps you to connect with your kids, then it's worth the effort.

Share your thoughts about busy schedules and connecting with your kiddos. Just keeping it real! We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: connecting, kids, parents

This title gets you thinking about Disney's Pocahontas, right? But, this piece actually has very little to do with Disney movies at all. It is about my little four-year-old and her precious ability to say the right thing at the right time. After big-kid-drop-off today, she and I were heading home when I heard a funny noise in the backseat.

I was feeling stressed about the day ahead and trapped inside my own thoughts about a hundred different things. But when I heard her cute little noises, I paused to ask her what she was doing. She confidently replied, "Blowing kisses at the trees."

She frequently brings me back down to reality and out of life's "what-ifs" and worries with some kind of silly word or deed. A mom's day certainly gets hectic for a plethora of reasons, from health issues, to finances, to child-rearing challenges, etc. But, we should all be abundantly thankful that our kids are here to make us smile and laugh through it all.

To think that my daughter really cares for the trees that we drive by while sprinting towards a red light makes me sit back and remember that I'm not alone. No matter what challenge I face, she's there for me with sweet little hands to hold and twinkling eyes.

She's ready to give a comforting hug or a bubble gum flavored kiss. She never turns down the chance to have a refreshing tea party or to snuggle on the couch to read My Little Pony for the hundredth time.

She races up to the play-set to play tic-tac-toe at a moment's notice and feels like a true genius when I let her win. I hardly mention a soccer ball and she's ready to set the cones up in the backyard to kick the ball around with me.

Think about the little ones in your life and try to enjoy the precious minutes you have together. If your life is incredibly stressful today, then it's the perfect time to take a break and enjoy some quality time with your child(ren). Read a book together. Take a walk! Watch a Disney movie, maybe even Pocahontas.

My little princess is a true gift to me, and I'm so thankful to be her mommy. Share your thoughts about life, motherhood, and "blowing kisses at the trees." We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: family, kids, life, stress

If your kids are anything like mine, they are loving the relaxation of Christmas break. And I am as well. No taxi-racing to the drop-offs and the pick-ups. No gulping down an entire cream cheese bagel in fifteen seconds flat. No panicking to find three sets of matching socks and shoes (well four if you count mine).

And on that topic, does anyone ever borrow their spouse's socks in a pinch? I've been wearing my hubby's socks with my black boots cuz I've been low on clean laundry. I've even borrowed my seven-year-old son's socks cuz his feet are starting to get as big as mine. You know you do that too, so no smirking at me!

As you can see, my coffee has kicked in and I'm writing with fervor, off topic, but energetically to say the least. So, the point of this piece... aw yes, "TV zombies." So, how are your kids doing thus far? It's day #5 but I'd already lost my mind by Monday, to be honest. So much time together. So much whining. So much noise!!! And yet, they are so darn cute and cuddly. I love letting them stay up late and allowing them to sleep in until brunch-time. Snacking all day is fun too! I'm being facetious, btw, my mind is totally intact.

In general, holiday breaks tend to bring out the glory of that amazing black box up in our bonus room, especially when we get as much rain as we've gotten lately. Isn't this weather amazing? So much for my piece last week where I critiqued the summer-like weather we'd been getting. From 85 degrees to this? I'm not sure I'm going to challenge the rain-gods again. But other than our roof leaking yesterday, it has been a total blast. I'm just praying for some lightning and thunder, but I better be careful what I ask for, right?

Since I'm one of those moms who didn't get the dvd player in my brand new swagger wagon, you can probably tell where this is going. Although I love getting a siesta by putting my kids in front of the television for an hour or so, I feel it shouldn't be used as an at-home babysitter option. It's tempting to push the "ON" button in order to catch up on the plethora of Christmas tasks vying for our attention. But try these three television-zombie-alternatives instead.

First, hit the 99 Cent Only store or the dollar bin at Target for some inexpensive treasures. Buy your kids a few coloring or doodle books, some markers, or a puzzle. My husband recently bought our kids an Indian figurine set for super cheap and all three kids have played together with it for hours this morning. I've heard very little fighting, just a little bit of arguing, and mostly lots of peaceful chitchat. I'm literally blown away that these tiny plastic figures are favored over the flat-screen upstairs.

Second, look for stuff that's already in your house. Just take your Christmas tree for example. Are there some plain ornaments that your kids could enhance? Get some puffy paints out (you can get these at a local craft store like Jo-Ann or Michaels) and let them decorate some of the drab silver balls. Encourage them to draw swirls, stars, and Christmas phrases.

Another project involves old magazines or junk mail, paper, scissors, and glue. Let your kids cut out pictures and words and paste them into a collage. You could even give them specific themes: Christmas, animals, or the great outdoors. Younger kids might need help from you with the cutting but should be able to glue the pieces on by themselves.

Third, to avoid tv-zombie-hood, read together. Gather books from around your house or stop by the library and pick up two arm-fulls. You could even play hide-and-seek in your family room where you and the kids take turns hiding the books. Once the books are found, you or the older kids can read the books out loud. Younger kids can look at their picture books to keep their attention.

If your kids are are "too cool" for this, set up a groovy reading station with snacks and fun music where they can read independently. When push comes to shove, if your kids demand television over reading, then bribe them. Tell them that if they read five books, you'll buy them some ice cream or a pack of gum later today.

Everyone's a tv-zombie sometimes, but we should aim for more over the break. One or two days of zombie-hood are acceptable, but after that, it's time to engage your kids with some brain-food. You don't want to return them to their teachers in a vegetative mental state. Let's keep them sharp over the break and enjoy the quality time together as well. Keeping it real. Share some of your kid-friendly screen-time alternatives. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: Christmas break, family, kids, television

We picture Christmas in all of its elegance with rich colors and textures. We also assume that our homes will reflect the pristine beauty from the Crate&Barrel or Pier One catalogs. And while I love the delicate ornaments flooding those stores, my tree is 80% loaded with home-made kid ornaments instead. I guess I could decorate two trees, dividing the imperfect from the flawless, but that's so not me. I prefer my kids' artistic sparkles and their excessive use of Elmer's glue.

My life is sloppy, tree and all. As I look around my house, I see my son's Santa hat on my kitchen counter from his school play yesterday. I see an adorable kid-decorated gingerbread house on my kitchen table and a delicate Santa candle out of my kids' reach next to my (not so white) toaster oven.

A few feet away from it lies one of my favorite childhood mugs that crashed to the floor earlier this week from a zealous hot cocoa drinker. I'm still optimistic that my husband can glue it back together. Crowding the fake garland up my stair-rails are fluffy red Santa hats and stockings, not exactly "hung with care." More like, "flung with flair" by my four-year-old.

I love the paper Advent chain that sits next to a pile of school papers and magazines as well. Each day (well, we usually forget and catch up every two or three days) we cut off the next green or red link in anticipation of the last yellow link which will be cut off on Christmas morning.

I could keep it out of sight because it's big and clumsy looking, but why? It makes me remember that we're actually in the Christmas season because we certainly can't tell from this beautiful weather lately. Is it December or July because I'm getting confused (not that I'm complaining, only wishing we could have ditched our school-duties and raced off to the beach instead)? Apparently we are supposed to get some rain later this week, but I'll believe it when I see it.

Christmas magazines cover my two coffee tables and catalogs arrive by the hundreds. I'm not sure I needed five catalogs from the same company within two weeks; maybe I'm just a tree-hugger though. The cute pictures of puppies and bows nestled with flannel bedding sit as "innocent" reminders of my very incomplete Christmas list. At this point, I basically can't order from the catalogs without getting penalized by the $40, 2-day shipping, so what's the point anyways?

We finally knocked out a couple of gifts this past week, but I'm so jealous of those people who are done Christmas shopping by September. Truth be told, isn't that a little bit strange? It's way too organized for me... to be honest. I like to get people gifts that are actually from the season that we're currently in... even if it's like 85 degrees out. My sister can wear the pink scarf I bought her with one of her black tank tops and like it, darn it. :)

I'm still anticipating a cookie-baking day when it cools off again sometime over the next week or so. When we do turn that oven on again, I'm certain we will have plenty of edible creations that look like footballs and clouds instead of angels or Christmas trees. But, as long as they have some yummy frosting, (time to actually get out my favorite red mixer) I'll eat whatever cookie shapes the kids make. And I'll dote on their beauty as well, especially my four-year-old's plethora of princesses and ballet slippers to come.

Remember to chill out, even in this warm weather; enjoy the season no matter what Weather.com says. If friends pop by to share some coffee or some fruitcake, don't freak like a psychotic nut-ball to make your downstairs look perfect. Chances are that theirs doesn't look any better than yours anyways. Let them see what a "real" house looks like. They'll take their shoes off, plop down on your leather couch, and actually relax with you, instead of feeling like they are visiting a museum (you know what I'm talking about).

Take time to read your favorite Christmas stories and to rent those classic holiday DVDs like "Miracle on 34th Street" and "A Christmas Story" as well. You've seen them a hundred times, but you should watch them again tonight... instead of going crazy trying to write up that lengthy Christmas letter. Just do the picture-card instead. It saves time; plus, that's what everyone really wants anyways. As a mom of three kids, I rarely have time to read all of those updates (not that I don't loooooooooove them, of course).

Before you know it, we'll be celebrating New Year's and listing out all of those beloved resolutions... yet again. So, while it's still 2010 and we have a week and a half left until Christmas, order that scrumptious peppermint mocha from Starbucks (oh my gosh... they're so good it's dangerous); and if it stays warm outside, just order it iced instead.

Remember to get lots of whipped cream too. Diets are totally illegal for the whole month of December. Didn't you read the memo at the top of your in-box earlier this morning? Eat a few extra calories now before you get all freaked out starving yourself in January. Tis the season, remember? Don't forget to get a little sloppy and save some of the serious stuff for the new year.

One of our favorite traditions is to watch a kid's movie before bed on Christmas Eve. I can't wait until my kids open up "How to Train Your Dragon" and "Despicable Me." I'm not super pumped about "Barney's A,B,Cs" but my littlest will do back-flips over it. Hopefully she'll fall asleep first, which sounds so mean, huh? Just keeping it real!

Blessings to you and your family. Share some of your favorite Christmas traditions. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: Christmas, family, kids

As my youngest daughter and I drove away from the big-kid drop-off, she asked me a thought provoking question. She inquired, "Mommy when I grow up, will I get to be like you?"

I stopped for a second before answering...thinking to myself and then vocalizing accordingly, "Yes honey...in all the good ways." It makes me ask, "Do I really want her to become like I am?"

Isn't that the sweetest question ever? To think that my 4-year-old wants to be like I am is the most humbling compliment to my entire career as a mom.

And yet, its innocence makes me reflect upon my deficiencies as well. While most people would say that I'm a great mom, those who know me best would admit that I've got my fair share of faults as well.

All this to say, it makes me think. Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily routines of controlled chaos, racing around town like we're on the Indy 500 circuit. Many of us rarely slow down to digest this deeper thought about the kind of parent that we are.

What about you fellow parents and grandparents? Do you want your kids to be like you? How do you speak when you are angry? How do you show your kids you are proud of them? Do they know with certainty that you love them no matter how well they do in school or in sports?

Do you want your kids to emulate your lifestyle and your choices? Are you a forgiving person? Are you a relaxed parent or a total stress-case? If you're like me, you are something in-between? Do you put on the brakes to spend some quality time with your little munchkins?

I want to pause and answer these tough questions because my kids are worth it. When I think about my daughter wanting to "be me" someday, it makes me long to be a better mom today.

I want to spend more meaningful time with my kids. I also desire to focus less on the inconsequential details of life, like a perfectly clean house or an immaculate yard. I'd love to be more patient and loving with my family as well.

A simple question can act as a powerful motivator for a changed life. Hopefully this basic challenge hits home with you today as well. Share some of the attributes you'd like to improve upon. Any advice from the older moms out there? Share your thoughts. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: family, kids, moms

Once upon a time, there was a dinosaur named Whiny. She whined so much that her family called her a whiny-saurus.

Whiny was four years old and she was very smart. She could color between the lines on her princess coloring pages and knew all twenty-six letters from the alphabet.

Her favorite color was pink and she loved to twirl and dance. Ballet was her favorite, of course!

She had a fabulous twinkle in her eyes and a contagious smile that made everyone around her smile back. But, when she wanted something from her mom, she always whined and cried.

One day, she demanded a snack from her mom. She whined and pleaded and begged, but never once said, "Please." And she never asked in a nice voice either.

So her mom lovingly replied, "I won't give you anything you ask for if you ask for it with a whiny voice."

So, Whiny decided to make her request with laughter instead of a complaint. She thought, "If I really want my mom to give me what I want, then I have to make her laugh."

The next day, she started laughing so hard, that boogers flew out of her nose. Tears flooded down her face as well.

Everyone around her started laughing along with her too, even her mom. But what they couldn't figure out was the hilarious joke that was making Whiny laugh so hard.

Whiny's mom asked her why she was laughing. But at this point, Whiny simply could not stop laughing. She chuckled and squealed for fourteen days until she finally fell fast asleep from exhaustion.

She snored a lot while she slept. It must have been from losing all of those boogers from all of that laughter.

When she finally woke up a few days later, she was hungrier than ever. So she asked her mother for a snack. But this time, she said, "Please" and she did not whine.

Since she had finally settled down, she told her mom the thing that had made her laugh so hard. Can you guess what it was?

Whiny had pictured her mom wearing some purple polka-dot underwear along with some fluffy giraffe slippers on her feet.

She also thought up some large green and pink striped hair clips on her head and some yellow feather sunglasses to protect her mom's eyes from the sun.

The picture in her head also dressed her mom with long blue earrings shaped like hot dogs and a white long-sleeve t-shirt with a yellow dancing rhino upon it.

Her mom smiled and hugged Whiny. She also gave her some pretzels and an apple because she had finally asked for a snack without whining.

Everyone loved the new Whiny and they even changed her name to Laughy, for all the laughter she was now bringing into their lives.

The end! :)

Labels: children's story, family, kids

It's important to laugh amongst friends. This rings especially true during challenging times. It seems that everyone I talk to lately has something crazy going on in her life. Whether it's the possibility of a job loss, a child's health issue, or a frustrating marriage, life can feel overwhelming.

Our families are on over-load in a plethora of ways. From school-work to grocery shopping, doctor's visits, or unexpected bills, we just need a break. You know how you occasionally shut down your laptop to restart the system? You need to do this for yourself as well, even when that feels like an impossible goal.

You might question the consequences of shutting down. What if I miss an important email? What if I can't get the call-back number from that life-changing phone-call? What if I can't get the kids' uniforms washed by Friday night for their Saturday games because I was out relaxing?

But, if you don't take time to restart your metaphorical computer: "YOU," then you will crash and burn. You might even have to be sent back to the manufacturer and you better hope that you're still under warranty.

God certainly does have a good sense of humor though. And He readily offers lots of second chances too. But, if you're not quite ready to meet up with Him just yet, you should consider slowing down to laugh more here in the present.

Here are three ways to laugh more. First, you have to actually connect with funny people. If you only have boring friends who never do hilarious things, then make some new friends.

Second, make time to hang out with your funny friends. Go out to breakfast at Cocoa's and order soup and salad for breakfast, just because their blue cheese dressing is so d--n tasty. While you are there, share life together; talk about your kids, your spouse, and your pets.

Third, allow yourself to be funny as well. Laugh at life instead of taking things and people so seriously. A long time ago, a good friend shared a great technique for dealing with irritating people, and it really works.

When someone acts like an idiot, she says, "Oh, it must be their first day..." My husband and I have utilized this over the years, and the chilled-out attitude makes us laugh instead of getting pissed.

The joke might even be on one of your closest friends, who happens to be having a rough day. Maybe she just needs to borrow one of Monopoly's "Get out of Jail Free" cards because she's struggling today. Give a little grace by laughing with her instead of holding a grudge over her.

Raising kids is an obvious source of laughter as well, from all the bizarre things they do on any given day. But family-life gets challenging, so that's where comical friends come in to play. Rely on them instead of going it alone. Rest your head down on their shoulder to shed some tears. And be real, so that they'll be real with you.

At a friend's party over the weekend, we sat around her kitchen table and shared stories while devouring incredibly tasty food. After most guests had left, the faithful six of us laughed so hard that tears flooded our faces.

Aside from the positive emotional effects of laughter, I also burnt some gym-equivalent calories that night from working my tummy and cheek muscles. And while I can't divulge the topic of the humor that night (totally top-secret material), I'm sure you have a few similar memories of your own to fill in the blanks.

Remember to call a good friend when life gets you down. Don't put it off; just send a quick text or email right now. Laugh therapy is what you need to get through this season's trials. Share some of your laugh-out-loud moments. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: family, friends, kids, laughter, moms

As I was walking out the door to take my littlest one to gymnastics, I was struck by a thought-provoking observation. She was holding my over-sized purse and announced, "Mom, I can't carry it; it's too heavy." So, I responded, "Well, just set it down then." It hit me that as a mom, I often do the same thing; I inevitably take on more than I can carry.

At first glance, this might seem insignificant; but, for some of you, it really hits home. My daughter was trying to be sweet by helping me beyond her actual ability. And even though it was making her uncomfortable, she still wanted to lift my bag to show that she could.

As moms, we frequently say, "Sure, I can cut out those 150 cowboy paper hats for the preschool," even though we're getting buried amongst the plethora of laundry piles flooding our hallways. But, this means we don't have time for that workout at the gym.

We say, "Sure, I'll be team-mom for my son's baseball team," even though we have 100s of emails flooding our in-boxes and piles of dishes attacking our kitchen sinks. This simple "Sure..." adds tons of extra tasks to our weekly list: snacks, the team banner, snack-bar, the team party, and the achievement certificates, etc. The result is very little free-time for that overdue hair-cut or manicure!

In addition to cut-outs and team-mom duty, we volunteer once a week at the elementary school so we can show our kids that we care. It feels worthwhile because we get to interact with their friends and the teachers as well. But, when do we get to catch up on the grocery shopping or the checkbook?

Granted, it's rewarding to offer our skills, especially for those of us who work primarily out of the home. For instance, I really enjoy translating documents into Spanish for a teacher who needs to communicate with a Hispanic student's non-English-speaking parents. But, it is one more item on my list, which means I don't get to do that "something else" for myself.

When we do all of these altruistic acts in the names of love and charity, we end up depleted and totally stressed out. Well, some of us...the ones who aren't SUPER MOM! And maybe you never feel tired or strung out, but speaking for the collective "mom" community, I think most of us are running on fumes.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't commit to any of these great services; it would disappoint me to miss out on some of these amazing opportunities. But, we should prioritize by picking a few helpful projects, rather than trying to do them all at the same time.

Some people are really good at saying, "No...I'm just too busy." Others are too sweet and nice all the time; they feel an obligation to say "YES" to everything. So my advice, as on most things, is to FIND BALANCE. Agree to help with the most significant things and people; learn to turn down some of the other requests.

Give yourself permission to let someone else serve this time. You can always sign up for snack-duty the following month or cut out the Valentine's hearts in February instead of turkeys in November. You should enjoy a hot bubble bath or that fabulous novel while it's nice and chilly out, NOW! Or bake that pumpkin pie this morning because you happen to have an extra forty minutes to do so.

Enjoy the upcoming holidays with a little bit more time for yourself. Share how you've learned to carry less by saying "No" to some things. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: balance, family, kids, moms

Sometimes, I pine for a more exciting life. Do you know what I mean when I say that life just seems boring? It's not that I get much time to simply sit around like a vegetable, especially now that the kids are back in school.

I should just paint my van yellow because then I'd feel more like an actual taxi cab driver. Honestly, I feel like the clock sprints from 6:45 A.M. to 11:30 P.M. while I shut my eyes, wondering what the day actually consisted of. Nothing brilliant or exceptional comes to mind.

Cheese stix and Gogurts for breakfast might top the list as interesting, but that would be a pretty boring list. My youngest daughter and I did meander off for an exciting breakfast at the donut store after dropping off her older siblings at school.

It was fairly predictable, except for my puzzlement as I contemplated how my daughter could possibly stuff that much frosting up her nose while consuming so little of the actual donut. Chocolate of course...but amazingly her light green dress stayed clean.

We enjoyed the preschool orientation today and saw some old faces...and a few new ones, including some of the cutest newborns who decided to pop out during the summertime.

My daughter's matriculation to the big-kid playground was a tremendous achievement, as was her discovery of a black widow spider on the edge of the yellow slide where she and her friends were playing. My detective daughter saved the day! I of course summoned help from a nearby teacher and fled the scene like a total wimp.

After conferencing with a few teachers after big-kid pick-up, we finally made it to my son's eye doctor to retrieve his new glasses. At first the blue frames were nowhere to be found, even though we'd received our pick-up call three days earlier.

We waited patiently, as I read a totally strange book titled "Noel" to my kids for about ten minutes. If you've read it, you might associate it as a classic, but I found it to be rather eerie, with references to people as things and the "happiness" that the ornament possessed as if it in fact was a person.

Then, we found ourselves back in the donut store because it's Friday after all and you can never have too many donuts, right? While the kids scarfed down their donuts, my middle child realized she'd forgotten her new Santa toy at the eye doctor so off we strolled back in that direction.

Thank goodness Mr. Claus had wedged himself safely between a chair and the wall; his red jacket was unmistakable. Now, as I type, I can hear the Frosty the Snowman chorus, as my three kids sit watching a Christmas video in September. Strange, right?

And what comes to mind is that none of this day has been particularly eventful, just busy... filled with lots of menial tasks. As I've thought about how the day has not amounted to much, as far as most onlookers would conclude... I'm thinking that it's actually an ok thing.

I mean, having a somewhat uneventful day is a blessing, really. It depends on how you look at it, of course. But, it's better than one of my kids having broken a limb. Or someone getting stung by a bee. Or someone getting the stomach flu or hives or strep throat.

Amazingly, no-one even scraped a knee today. And everyone actually ate their lunch, which bums my dog out cuz she loves bologna sandwiches. But, she got the crust of one kid's sandwich, so even she is pretty content at the moment.

We have a fridge full of food. The weather is mild and comfortable. Our cars are all running. I've got way too much clean laundry to fold at the moment; but, at least we have clean clothes to wear and my littlest doesn't have to borrow her big brother's undies like she did earlier in the week.

I guess what I'm getting at is this: boredom can be a blessing. It's way better than total chaos. And while it might seem less meaningful than winning the Lotto or being at Disneyland, we're all doing pretty well right where we're at. Things could be way worse.

So, if your day has been slightly dull, but free of catastrophe like mine, then you should count yourself lucky and stop complaining. Let's enjoy the trivial stuff more often. Let's take time to feel thankful for life's mediocre moments.

Truth be told, we all know that there are plenty of crazy ones just lurking around the corner. Sometimes, we long for something more, but really we should just sit back and enjoy the nothingness of the moment that we're in.

Peace out and enjoy your night! I think we're gonna cook some pancakes and stay home for family movie night. How boring, right? I might even squeeze in a jog around the neighborhood, which will negate the caloric intake of Mud Pie ice cream that I intend to eat before bed. Total excitement, right?

BTW, if you're wondering about the holiday references, in my opinion, it's never too early to start thinking about Christmas. I love it more than dark chocolate and even Starbucks coffe; as such, I generally start playing Christmas music in July, which drives my husband insane.

In closing, God bless and remember to enjoy your kids while they're still living at home! Be glad that you have some boring moments to share together as a family. And please share some of your boring blessings; we'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: boredom, kids, parents

The school year is back into full swing. And let's face it, it's just flat out hard to adjust. What this looks like for most families is cranky kids with breakfast on the go while racing out the door with strong coffee in hand. It also means piles of papers: pink ones for the office, yellow copies for the teachers, and white ones for you. Be careful not to trip on the pile of backpacks filling the entryway. And can you believe they already have so much homework? So, in this moment of honesty, how's it going for your family?

We're actually doing relatively well. But, my brain is still on summer break. No matter how much coffee I drink, it stubbornly refuses to switch back over to the chaotic school routine. The grumpy zone is not a fun place to reside, but that's where we live these days. The kids are completely in shock. Let's face it, we're all tired, starving at the wrong times, and confused about what to wear. I have to remind my kids, "No, you can't wear those flip-flops...only the ones with the straps behind the ankle."

During this period of transition, it's easy to rely on our feelings instead of using self-control. For example, today we got home from school and my middle daughter burst into tears as if someone had died. The crisis: her sister had knocked over her fort from this morning. The response: total freak-a-matic blow-out. It took me by surprise because we'd just gotten home from school after chatting with her teacher, who shared how well she was doing. Though I'd thought her day was peachy-keen, there was more underneath the surface; this was the time when I needed to use my heart instead of my brain. I had to offer my daughter grace!

For my daughter, this meant simply holding her in my lap like a baby while she cried. I kissed and hugged her and told her it was going to be alright. Then, after a few minutes, she was fine. If I'd been using just my head to respond rationally to the situation, I likely would have disciplined her for the disrespectful over-reaction. But, I could tell in my heart that she was just needing some attention and love. Sometimes, our kids don't even realize why they're upset until we sit them down to talk. Then, they begin to open up.

After chatting, I realized she had cut her finger at school. She shared how upset she was that her finger had bled earlier. Even that didn't seem like a big deal to me, but what mattered was that it had bothered her. Because I invested three minutes to stop and listen, she felt cared for and subsequently settled down. And what a difference those 180 seconds made for the rest of the afternoon.

I'm glad I responded with kindness rather than with anger. But sometimes, I don't respond as well as I'd like to because I'm tired, hungry, and emotional as well. We all have those imperfect moments when we say things we'll regret later. So, here's a reminder to help you avoid those situations. Take a deep breath and show your kids some extra compassion and affection. Try to figure out what's bugging your kids deep down. And if they don't feel like shooting the breeze, just give them a hug and a kiss to show that you care.

For the next few weeks, let's allow our kids to make a few mistakes as they transition back to the school schedule. Let their rooms stay messy. Give them an extra snack before bed if they need one. Forgive them quickly if they go off the deep end for "no reason." And no matter how old your kids are, take the time to sit down, chill out, and listen to what's going on. If you need some extra coffee for yourself and a nap during the afternoon, go for it! And suppose you do lose it for a few moments, remember to give yourself some grace too because you're making a plethora of adjustments as well.

Share how the school year has started out for your family. We'd love to hear from you! :)

Labels: family, kids, school

The thing about family life is that it's totally chaotic most of the time. I'll give you a taste of my last twenty-four hours. Full sink of dishes, like even when it's empty, it's still full. So much laundry that I can hardly find the detergent in my laundry room to wash all the towels, sheets, and clothes.

Turn twenty degrees to the left and you'll bump into my refrigerator. Total chaos...how do people keep all their bread loaves organized anyways? I end up with like ten bags, each containing the two end pieces. And another point of fridge contention is the way that apple juice and milk containers literally have some kind of mysterious drip system during the night. Even if we replace them every single day, they run out before the next morning. It's weird.

There are so many snacks and meals to prepare that I get tired just thinking of what I'm going to make the kids for breakfast and it's almost 10:20AM as I write this (poor kids are starving to death...gotta love summer). They're young and resilient though, so I'm sure they'll be fine. In fact, I'll just stretch it out a bit longer and serve them some brunch instead. :)

Take a visual of my morning. 5:50AM, my sweet husband tears off the pee-pee sheets from our daughter's bed while I take off her wet clothes. 6:30AM, I slither my way down to write for a little bit while my laptop hums quietly amidst the temporary silence.

Then, I gather the ingredients to make my hubby's breakfast and to pack his lunch. While sipping my medium roast sanity-saver (aka coffee), I glance through my family room where our area-rug is still drying due to a pee-pee accident from the night before. It's a good thing it's got a swirl pattern on it. Aren't solids the worst?

Chaos is so adventurous though; you've gotta love it. Stepping into the kitchen has never been so exciting; I look down to find a plethora of small shards of glass blanketing the tile floor. This was the result of the previous night as well, when one of my kids grabbed the salt jar against my will during dinner and subsequently dropped it all over the floor. I guess my sweeping job was a little sub-par, but it was late, so I can't really be blamed.

A few hours later, my youngest child floods our bathroom with toilet water. Thankfully, the soothing sound of rushing water was so anomalous that my ears shot up like a basset hound and I salvaged the situation before water flushed out into the family room. I can't fault this daughter for her enthusiasm; she's like an Olympic toilet flusher who thinks that somehow if she jiggles the handle faster and more fervently, the toilet will flush more effectively. You get the picture; it's total chaos.

If you're a parent, you can totally relate. I mean, I don't even have to describe my upstairs because you're like, "Stop, I get it. I can picture it." So, my question for you is this: "How do we survive this season of parenting chaos with any remnants of sanity by the end of the day?"

The answer is this: "Love your kids well." Even though I don't have time to read the ten best-selling parenting books collecting dust on my shelf, somehow I must be doing something right. My kids laugh a ton; they're all growing according to the doctor's charts. They're doing well academically and socially... and I'm having a ton of fun along the way. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm laughing or crying, but that could just be PMS.

I could give you something deeper than this little kernel of wisdom, but the truth is that I have to run and get my kids some breakfast before their stomachs cave in. Plus, my littlest is about to go potty again and knowing her... she's going to race into another flush-derby.

Share some of your funny parenting moments here. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: chaos, family, kids, parents

I feel like God is calling me to trust Him even more deeply than the day before. It's like this never-ending cycle, right? We begin to trust Him in one area of our lives and then He calls us further into the maze, to trust with stronger faith. If it's not your own issues, then it's something about your kids. Or maybe you've got some financial issues that are dragging you down.

Perhaps it's an ongoing battle with your spouse... because marriage seems to be a never-ending work in progress given by the Master as well. He's constantly shaping us into His service and His workmanship directly through the hands of our loved one. Will we trust God to make us more patient, less angry, more forgiving? Will we let that issue go, that's not really that big of a deal anyways?

The question we have to ask ourselves in all of these things is this: Is God faithful? If He is, then whatever we face, no matter how small or big, we know we can get through it. Do you believe it, daughter or son of the King? Do you really believe that God is faithful? Do you think He sees you during those quiet moments when no-one else can? I think He does.

Easier said than done though, right? That's usually where my struggle begins. I feel like God is faithful one day, but maybe not so much the next. I overcome a huge obstacle and then within days, I'm like: "Well God, how in the world are you going to help me with this next thing?" It's like I'm a child who has all my needs met... but constantly implores, "When's my next snack? I need one NOW...even though you just gave me one fifteen minutes ago!"

We know as parents that our kids' needs are always on the center of our minds. We readily intend to meet their next and most immediate need. But, sometimes their urgency makes us feel like they don't think we'll come through for them. When one of my kids comes running down the stairs yelling, "More chips pleaaaaaase..." you would think he or she had suffered from a severe form of starvation. The truth is, I'm constantly offering them food throughout the day; they could never feel starved in our family's home.

That's how God is with us as well. He meets our needs so abundantly. During His time on earth, Jesus said, "...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10b). He goes on to say, "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep" (v. 11). I mean, how can we waste even one second worrying about whether or not God is going to come through for us? He gave us His very own life!

He sacrificed everything for us. He heard the battle cry. He conquered the ugly grip of sin that enslaved us by nailing His own hands and ankles upon the cross. Sure...the Roman soldiers held the hammers, but don't you know His own power allowed the nails to dig into His flesh? In just one millisecond, He could have released the heavenly battalions and commanded the injustice to end. But He didn't. He hung on the cross so that you and I could be free.

When you feel like you can't really trust Jesus, picture a cross hanging in your own home. Would you get on it for someone else? And even if you would be willing to, have you been called to do that any time recently? Pretty sure your answer is "No." So the least you and I can do is this: trust our Savior...because He is trustworthy.

The Apostle Paul reminds us to hand our stresses over to God: "Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6+7).

Maybe this post doesn't change anything for you. You're still strung out. That stressful situation still looms over you like a thundercloud. That bill still rests on your chaotic counter-top. Your kid still struggles with that same old issue. You still have to forgive your spouse for being grumpy this very morning.

But, here's the thing about Jesus. When you give Him a little, he takes it and multiplies it. So, start out small with three simple steps. First, take twenty seconds and talk to the Lord about it. Say, "God, this thing overwhelms me. Help!" Second, write down a few of the verses listed above on a sticky note and paste it somewhere to remind you of how He cares.

Third, lift your hands up to heaven as a symbol of how you're letting this stuff go. The issues that your family faces are outside of your control, but not outside of His. You can rest now because you are in good hands.

Labels: Bible, faith, kids, parents, trust

Popsicles. Watermelon. Sunshine. Water. Pools. Ocean. Sand. Ice-cream. Parks. Library. Botanic Gardens. Swimming. Sunscreen. Sunburns. Smiles. Blossoms: roses, lantana, red-apple. Vacation. Theme-parks: Sea World, the Zoo, the Wild Animal Park. Movies: How to Train Your Dragon, Toy Story 3, Despicable Me. Computer-games: PBS Kids, Qubo, Lego.com. Trampoline. Playset. Games: Monopoly, Sorry, Scrabble. Tank-tops. Shorts. Flip-flops. Parties. Balloons. Hot-dogs. Pizza. Iced-tea. Day-dreams. Novels. Coloring. Grammy-visits. Cloud-gazing. Long walks. Bike-rides. More ice-cream. More posicles. More watermelon. Three more weeks. Enjoy!

Labels: family, kids, summer

As parents, we often feel that sigh of relief as the middle of June approaches. No more homework, no more racing to school before that "da-n" bell rings and the gate slams shut. At the same time, I remember feeling like a bag of bricks was hanging from my neck. Ten weeks at home with my three kids just sounded so long and cumbersome.

The dread of seventy-three long hot days ahead of us consumed me...at first. Granted that first week hardly counts; we were all a mass of zombie-vegetables lying in front of the television, decompressing from a tornado-like twist of chaos during those last few weeks of school. But then...the strangest thing happened. I blinked and it was already the end of July.

After that last minimum day of school and the week that didn't really count for much at all, we busied ourselves with eye appointments, my husband's graduation from his Ph.D. program (GO HUBBY!), a theater production, beach trips, a Father's Day dinner at a beach brewery, library trips, visits to our local bookstore, barbecues with friends, a trip to a local radio station and alas...SUMMER VACATION!

Summer vacation was faster than a blink. Two trips to Sea World, two days at the Zoo, tide-pooling at the beach, lounging at the pool, visiting the new children's museum downtown, scooting all over Balboa Park, and a Padres game...was fun, but exhausting. By the end, we needed a vacation from our vacation.

And now, we have less than five weeks left. This will include more swimming, more reading, more eating, more time with friends, and definitely more sweating through this blistering heat. But my attitude has changed. It went from a feeling of skepticism for what the summer would hold to one of pensive contemplation.

I'm bummed that it has gone by so quickly. Now, I feel like I'm grabbing at the days like they are precious gold, grasping for one more minute after each bed-time story. If only July had forty-five days instead of thirty-one. But, it doesn't and before we know it, it will be August twenty-third...back to school and back to the cycle of chaos that ensues.

But, the good thing about introspection is that it makes us enjoy what we have even more. We get to hug our kids longer while we treasure these remaining weeks. We can savor each slow sip of our morning brew instead of darting out the door for the early morning drop-off. And let's not forget to linger during lunchtime with that mouthwatering watermelon that's still on the menu.

In closing, one word comes to mind: "Enjoy!" Enjoy these remaining five weeks of summer-break. Enjoy your kids. Enjoy that novel that you're in the middle of. Enjoy your fuzzy slippers and your friendly flip-flops long into the lazy afternoon. Enjoy the scrumptious, tropical smell of sunscreen. And remember to enjoy some other hobbies along the way...art, music, cooking, creating, dreaming.

Share how your family has enjoyed this adventurous and sun-kissed summer. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: kids, parents, summer break

As parents, we should encourage our kids toward their specific goals. But, first we have to help them figure out what those goals are. They're passionate about a variety of things, from their academic classes and sports, to their extracurricular activities or religious commitments. Which ones are the most important? Which ones will match up with their greatest potential? As their moms and dads, we get to evaluate those strengths while helping them draw out an exciting picture of their professional future.

Eventually, they will graduate from high school and move on to a career and/or a family. So, let's give them some tools to evaluate their future while they are young. But, how do we get started? Shaping our kids' career goals might seem like a mighty task, but it doesn't have to be daunting. It can actually be pretty simple and fun as well. Here are four suggestions to get you started.

First, spend some quality time with your kid. Even though you already know your own kid pretty well, ask her what she loves to spend her time doing. Ask why she loves that particular subject or activity and make sure she's pursuing it because of her passion, not yours. Get to know her by talking about some of her favorite magazines or websites. You could even ask about some upcoming movie titles as you evaluate her interests: adventures, dramas, action flicks, mysteries, etc.

Part of this exercise also helps to strengthen your understanding of what she's already good at...math, science, art, soccer, etc. It's likely that some of her natural talents will line up with some of her future goals. Discuss her end-of-the-year projects and the outcome of her final exams. Take the time to connect so you can both be on the same page. Some parents might assume their kid will be an architect but what if he does poorly at math and art? Doesn't sound like a fit.

Second, brainstorm with your child about some possible career choices to get the ideas flowing. Talk about what a love for art could turn into: a painter, a graphic designer, or a movie producer, etc. Discuss the possibilities of a career as a scientist: an astronomer, an oceanographer, or a geologist. Visit some fun science websites together, such as NASA's website (www.nasa.gov) which explores various scientific facets, including astronomical and oceanographic studies.

If your son loves firetrucks, talk to him about what firefighters do and see if he has similar interests. Maybe he loves to swim; so, you could discuss the duties of the US Coast Guard or a potential career as a dolphin trainer. If your child's favorite activity is to observe and listen to others, you could talk about the variety of jobs that are offered to professional counselors via schools, hospitals, military branches, and even through the financial sector.

Third, keep it real. Ask your kids what they want to be when they grow up. Describe some different career choices that you considered when you were young. As you do this, discuss your own career path while showing them how you came to your decision. Remember to include your honest evaluation of your own professional decisions. Maybe you love your job; maybe you don't. Let them know how you really feel.

Talk to them about the reality that many people make a variety of career choices over their lifetime. Allow them to see that they can apply multiple interests over the years and that they don't have to feel limited by one plan. For example, my kids know that I used to be a Spanish professor before they were born, but now understand how I have modified my career goals to be at home with them as a freelance writer while they are young.

Fourth, give them practical ways to see those careers in action. Allow their inexperienced eyes to glance at a variety of professional environments. If your kids seem interested in art, fan the flame by taking them to some local art museums this summer. If you're up for a drive to Los Angeles, check out the Getty Museum where admission is always free (http://www.getty.edu/museum/).

Perhaps your kid is a digger and a builder, so your summer visit might include a stop through a model home development or a visit to some downtown skyscrapers. If your daughter loves animals and wants to be a vet, line up some visits to your city's animal rescue center or drive down to San Diego to visit the Wild Animal Park or the Zoo (http://www.sandiegozoo.org/).

Maybe your child loves to ham it up on the pretend microphone all day long; so, you could take him or her for a visit to a local radio station. Who knows, your kid might end up as the next announcer for your favorite sport's team. Free tickets anyone? If it's close to impossible to reach the big-wigs from a major radio station, try a junior college or university near you, where access might be easier.

Even though your children may not pursue their childhood interests as adults, motivating them as kids gives them enthusiasm for the future. Just helping them to evaluate the idea of being a professional someday is a great start. It allows them to dream big and to see their own potential. Think of some kids you knew growing up who never thought they would amount to much. Imagine if their parents had invested a little bit more time and energy into their future.

For older kids, it's especially important that they understand the preparation involved for certain careers. Talk to them about the need for a good high school record, so that they can get into a decent college. Share with them how a college degree is a basic requirement for many professions now. If they can see these things ahead of time, hopefully they'll perform accordingly.

Your care for their passions and your interest in their preparedness shows them love and support. So, even if your kid doesn't end up as a future president of the United States, her dream and the endless array of imaginary speeches will prepare her for life as a successful adult regardless of the altered career path. She may even choose to do what you've done because she's seen the love you've had for your own job over the years.

Whatever comes out of these suggestions, never underestimate the investment you make in your child's future. Share some of your son or daughter's passions and dreams. We'd love to hear from you.

Labels: career, dreams, goals, kids, parents