Friday, February 25, 2011
Stupid stuff
I was at my daughter's preschool yesterday in such a great mood. You know when the birds are singing a duet just for your benefit and Mr. Sun's rays shine down on you alone? You feel like you're in the 2007 movie Enchanted, singing next to Amy Adams where love fills the air. The day is going along great and then, like a tornado springing down from the heavens, someone derails your happy day.
The comment took me completely by surprise. As I walked into the classroom to pick up my youngest daughter, one of her teachers darted a critical and unapologetic comment down my spine. Her tone was harsh and humiliating and all I could tell her was, "Well, we're working on it."
It stung like a bee sting because I actually care about this person's opinion of me and of my daughter. Unfortunately, the stinger dug deeper than I'd initially realized. I tossed and turned throughout part of the night about how I should respond. But we've all experienced this before, right?
After the over-digestion of this dilemma last night, I awoke and still felt irritated. And I'm frustrated that it's still bugging me. But then it hit me! We all say stupid stuff sometimes. Haven't you done it a plethora of times before as well? Your unkind words come out in a zingy tone and then you wish you'd been able to keep your big mouth shut. You long to type in "Control Z" but it's too late.
As moms, we owe it to one another to give a pass when the stupid stuff comes out. If there are repeated cruel offenses, then it's worth rectifying the situation. But if the icy cold remarks are few and far between, then we should all just give some grace. Who knows if my daughter's teacher had just had a really rough day? Maybe she was exhausted and took out her pent up frustrations on us.
It's hard to act like the bigger person, even as adults, but the pay-off is huge. First, we get to feel good about doing the right thing. Second, we get to act as mature role models for our kids. When they see us choosing not to overreact to someone's idiocy, they too will gain a sense of metered calm in their own social situations.
The obvious truth is that we're surrounded by imperfect people who occasionally say stupid stuff. So before your next confrontation with an unfriendly encounter, decide how you want to respond: by freaking out or by giving that person a second chance?
Keeping it real. Share your thoughts on dealing with difficult people or situations. We'd love to hear from you. :)
The comment took me completely by surprise. As I walked into the classroom to pick up my youngest daughter, one of her teachers darted a critical and unapologetic comment down my spine. Her tone was harsh and humiliating and all I could tell her was, "Well, we're working on it."
It stung like a bee sting because I actually care about this person's opinion of me and of my daughter. Unfortunately, the stinger dug deeper than I'd initially realized. I tossed and turned throughout part of the night about how I should respond. But we've all experienced this before, right?
After the over-digestion of this dilemma last night, I awoke and still felt irritated. And I'm frustrated that it's still bugging me. But then it hit me! We all say stupid stuff sometimes. Haven't you done it a plethora of times before as well? Your unkind words come out in a zingy tone and then you wish you'd been able to keep your big mouth shut. You long to type in "Control Z" but it's too late.
As moms, we owe it to one another to give a pass when the stupid stuff comes out. If there are repeated cruel offenses, then it's worth rectifying the situation. But if the icy cold remarks are few and far between, then we should all just give some grace. Who knows if my daughter's teacher had just had a really rough day? Maybe she was exhausted and took out her pent up frustrations on us.
It's hard to act like the bigger person, even as adults, but the pay-off is huge. First, we get to feel good about doing the right thing. Second, we get to act as mature role models for our kids. When they see us choosing not to overreact to someone's idiocy, they too will gain a sense of metered calm in their own social situations.
The obvious truth is that we're surrounded by imperfect people who occasionally say stupid stuff. So before your next confrontation with an unfriendly encounter, decide how you want to respond: by freaking out or by giving that person a second chance?
Keeping it real. Share your thoughts on dealing with difficult people or situations. We'd love to hear from you. :)
