Mariposa Kisses (aka Dianne's Blog)

It's important to take time out for each of our kids. In the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it's easy to forget that a little bit of one-on-one time with our children really matters. And their time in the spot-light is significant as well.

Within the past few days, I've attended three award ceremonies, one for each of our kids. A balloon was given to our bounciest middle child. Our oldest kid got a candy cane full of Reese's cups. And our little diva got a bouquet of salmon-colored carnations for her job well done.

For each assembly, my iPhone was jamming to catch pics and video clips. I was balancing my Starbucks cup and the treats for my kids, trying to catch my breath from my morning sprint, thinking "Was my van parked in the red?" You've been there before, right?

Occasionally, I ask myself, "Is it worth all the madness?" I mean, do you think they'd really care if I didn't make it to the assembly, just this once? And we all know the answer, right? OF COURSE IT MATTERS! Because when your kid sees YOUR beautiful smile staring over at them (even if they pretend like you're not there because they're playing the "too cool" routine), it makes him or her feel like a million dollars. They feel loved, cared for, valued, and IMPORTANT!

And as I chat around with other moms lately, I'm more aware than ever that we're all running on fumes and caffeine. We can barely get our kids dropped off before the bell signals its louder-than-life announcement that we're LATE!

But even amidst the psychotic rat-race that we're all in, we MUST SLOW DOWN to make our kids feel that they're calm in our embrace even in those stressful moments. It's worth the effort to park the car, run them to the gate, and to give them that big bear hug that reminds them we'll be there to pick them up at the end of the day.

They know we'll all sit down for a warm dinner (even if it's take-out, let's be honest people) together. Even when I ask each of my kids the same questions for the hundredth time, like who they sat by at lunch and what game they played at recess, they know it's because I care about the details of their day. In short, they KNOW that I love them.

And we as parents need those little smiles and hugs to keep us going as well. We get to replay those beautiful moments captured in mere minutes inside our hearts and on our smart phones throughout the day. They motivate us when we're dragging and find it difficult to picture the to-do list all checked off. Grabbing those special moments helps us to have perspective when we can't envision the end of the day arriving quickly enough.

But when life starts to feel too crowded for those precious moments, then it's time for us to cut out some of the other stuff from our busy schedules. If we don't make the time for our kids today, then no-one else will.

The truth is that they really want the winks, smiles, hugs, and words of affirmation from us more than from anyone else in the whole world. And not getting it will affect the way they view themselves and the world around them.

Even if you have a few shy kids who don't let you know how much they appreciate your attendance at their assemblies, your time volunteering in their classrooms, or your extra kisses before drop-offs, know this: IT ALL MATTERS! So don't give up moms and dads, even if your energy level is so low that you can barely reach the coffee pot each morning.

You are making a difference in your kids' lives. You are doing an amazing job of shaping the next generation because of the sacrifices you're willing to make this season. Keeping it real. Share your thoughts here. We'd love to hear from you! :)

Labels: family, kids, parents, time

It's hard to be still. And if you're a mom of little ones, you see the difficulty of this task for your own munchkins all day long. It's challenging to count the number of times you have to tell a jumpy kid to sit down at the dinner table instead of standing up next to her chair. Most kids wonder why they have to rest at all. They implore, "Just one more video? Just five more minutes of Wii? Just ten more minutes out on the trampoline? PLEASE!!!" The truth is, they're watching us all day long, but we don't really slow down either.

Whether you're religious or not, you'll love this Bible verse I'm about to quote. It comes from a song from the middle of the Bible. And it says, "Be still, and know that I am God..." (Psalm 46:10). This verse is particularly effective at telling us three things:

First it requires us to stop moving. We are to become motionless. And this is something that few of us actually do until we're flat on our beds snoring. We're just not comfortable slowing down. We'd rather race until our hearts pop and our heads explode. Sure we can take on more hours at work. Go ahead and toss in one more extracurricular for my kid since it'll make him smarter. Of course you can hand me one more volunteer activity at the school; I've got tons of free time. But then, when do you get to catch up?

Second, the verse reminds us that we are not God, that we are not actually the ones helping the earth to spin on its twenty-three point five degree axis with the sun. The motion of the universe doesn't really depend on us! And this is where the control freaks get to take a deep breath. They can whisper, "You mean, I don't have to figure it all out?" Even agnostics and deists can take heart from this admonition. By knowing that they are not God, it gives them the ability to take a break as well.

Third, to "know that he is God" means that your mind has to chill out as well, not just your body. You must find a way to quiet your brain in the midst of the chaos around you. For me as a Christian mom, this means to meditate on God's promises through prayer. So even if the kids are screaming in the background and the world around me refuses to shut itself down, I can quiet my mind upon some of God's truths. I can think about how he'll never leave me or how he's my refuge and strength. I get to let go of all of my anxieties because he tells me not to worry about anything but to go to him in prayer with thankfulness instead (Philippians 4:6).

With the school year spinning almost as fast as the earth and the moon, let's try to slow down physically and mentally. And if you're into the God thing, try to rest spiritually as well. Take some deep breaths! Spend time reading your spiritual text. And when possible, find a quiet place! Let your kids see you stretching and meditating. Put on some classical music or some hymns. Have them sit next to you with a favorite story or a coloring book. That way, we'll all be running the race more efficiently and restfully together.

Share your thoughts on being still in a world that refuses to slow down. We'd love to hear from you. Keeping it real! :)

Labels: be still, parents, Psalm 46:10

It's officially the middle of July now, so I'd say this is the time to enjoy summer break. Sometimes as parents, we have a hard time settling in to relaxation-mode. The kids are out of school, which means no homework, easier low-prep meals, and less official baths (because the pool accounts for some of them, right?). And yet, we still struggle to embrace the light-hearted moments of summer. Well, that is if you're anything like I am.

It's easy to focus on the plethora of tasks flooding our to-do lists instead of chilling out with some water balloons or a spray-gun instead. I see the messes around the house and feel like I should attend to all of them at once. And then I think of the upcoming year and feel stressed about the need to work on school stuff with the kids so they'll be ahead of the year's challenges. And I think of my own writing goals and begin to fret over the pieces I need to be working on.

But here's the deal: before we know it, summer will be gone! The kids will be back in school. Life will be busier than ever with sports, Scouts, and church activities. So now is the time to "carpe diem." Catch summer with that butterfly net and enjoy it for awhile before we're dashing into fall.

Recently, I allowed myself to soak in some summertime laziness. My middle daughter and I both awoke to an empty kitchen table while the other two kids were still asleep. So she asked me for some mommy/daughter time, which is always valuable.

I suggested we play a board-game. So she of course picked Monopoly which I usually say "No" to since it takes forever to finish. But on this particular morning, I said "Yes." The time was special for both of us and took me back to my own childhood memories and rekindled my own love for the game.

It also reminded me of how math can be fun, as my daughter counted out her money each time she wanted to buy up a property or when she had to pay the rent on one. The game emphasized reading in a casual way as well. She loved landing on "Chance" so she could read the mysterious message, especially when she got to "Advance to GO and COLLECT $200."

And with all this strange weather recently, I got to enjoy another terrific morning with my youngest daughter as well. She and I headed outside to blow some bubbles (like hundreds of bubbles). And we colored in her Barbie coloring books. And we each sucked on fruit lollipops while playing with her dollies. And we laid on our backs hunting for cloud-creatures. Who'd have known there were so many lions, lambs, kitties, giraffes, and cute bunnies up above us all the while? The time was priceless.

In both of these instances, I could have passed up these precious moments to update my boring checkbook, to throw in a few loads of stinky laundry, or to skim down the mountain-size pile of icky dishes flooding my kitchen sink. But I didn't. Instead, I caught up with my kids and had a blast frolicking inside of their relaxed worlds of summer vacation.

The kids stop everything. They're not thinking about school or chores or new backpacks yet. They just want to scoot and bike-ride and float as they devour one more tasty hot dog or another dripping Popsicle. So let's try to model our kids' chilled out, summertime attitudes.

Go for another piece of watermelon or buttery corn, even if you've already had like six servings. Kill your diet and eat a big juicy cheeseburger. They're so good once in awhile! Take your kids for ice cream even though it's right before dinnertime. Let your chores go as well! Don't make your bed. If you do, you won't be able to climb back in for an afternoon nap! And chill out on the laundry while you're at it; they can wear those jean shorts a few more times.

Share your most relaxed summertime moments. We'd love to hear from you. Keeping it real!

Labels: parents, summertime fun

It's that time of year again for some good old fashioned spring cleaning. Summer break feels like it's just around the corner and the kids will be home for warmer and longer days in no time. So, it's time to de-clutter now while you've got a bit of free time on your hands. Here are three simple tips to get started.

First, throw it in the trash! If no one else can use that thing, whatever it happens to be, just get rid of it. Recycle if possible, of course, but toss it and let it rot somewhere else, just no longer in your house. It feels so cathartic to toss those old unnecessary items into that brown or blue bin on the side-yard.

When my husband and I recently cleaned out our garage and laundry room, we threw away and recycled tons of items that we literally hadn't used in the last two years. Stuff from shoe boxes to paint containers disappeared and we now have more available space. In fact, our new red mini-van actually fits into the garage now! :)

Second, donate your junk! If you aren't using it anymore go ahead and bless it over to a friend or a co-worker. They might need that baby bouncer or those tropical seafood cookbooks you haven't used in the last decade. And if you have too much crap to dispense of individually, just call the AMVETS or the Salvation Army. Then you'll even get a tax write-off as well.

We placed a plethora of items out on our curb, from wooden chairs to clothes and an old television. About fifteen minutes later, a guy drove by and shoved it all into his van. We were glad he could use it or sell it for his own good. Honestly, it made it easier for us not to have to haul it all back into the garage later that night.

Third, reorganize your stuff! Sometimes you just can't part with those beloved parcels. But you could store them differently to minimize the chaos. Try rearranging stressful zones with shelves for books, bins for closet items, and boxes for keepsakes that only come out once or twice a year.

I shoved a bunch of Christmas items into storage bins to free up some space in the laundry room. Since they're sealed, I know they will be snug and safe until next Christmas. Now I have more space for cleaning supplies and beach towels. A few of my shelves even sit empty, which is a first.

You'll experience three main benefits by going through this process to de-clutter your home. First, you'll instantly feel more peaceful. I couldn't believe how much better I felt about my whole house just knowing I'd gotten rid of so much clutter in one day. Second, you'll help someone else out by donating and you'll assist the environment by recycling. Third, you'll open up more space to display some of the stuff you really care about and need.

Keeping it real. Share your thoughts about de-cluttering here. We'd love to hear from you.

Labels: de-clutter, kids, parents, spring cleaning

As Americans, most of us long to be gloriously happy. To achieve that goal, we each respond to an innate drive within to win the most stuff, to be number one at everything, and to acquire the most goods. Whether it's Happy Meal toys for the kids or bigger ones for the parents, we long to own more junk. And we want it to be the best and biggest and the most popular of all.

We often submit to a common misconception that if we could simply access or achieve "such and such," then joyful harmony would follow. For example, if that side of the wall that drives me nuts just gets repainted, then I'll love my house so much more. Or if my kids would simply clean up more of their own messes, I'd be a happier mom and wife. Perhaps if you get that raise at work, then you'll feel more valued.

Many of us feel like we'd be truly happy if we just had unlimited financial resources. Then we could buy the whole planet, but would we really be more satisfied? Some people feel like they'd have better self esteem if they just had a brand new wardrobe. A new car. A new spouse. A new house. A new job. A new dog. And a new pair of sunglasses to see the world through rosy pink lenses.

Similarly, we apply the "if this, then that" type of reasoning to close relationships: marriages, friendships, and extended family associations. We assume that if our spouse would just do this or that, then the marriage would be fabulous. If that friend would just listen better, we'd be so much closer. Maybe you blame your parents' busy schedules for their limited social involvement. If only they would spend more time with your kids, then all would be right with the world.

And it's not that some of these things aren't grounded in truth. Because some are just obviously true. I'd feel happier if lots of stuff went the way I wanted it to. But this idea that we can't be happy without obtaining these ends can tie us up into ridiculous knots. So we must stop to examine some of their claims along the way. If we really owned the most stuff, were the best at everything we did, and won everything we could possibly win, would we really end up so overwhelmingly blissful?

I think the answer is obvious: that we would not possess supernatural happiness. And yet, we play this game like we can't be happy inside of our own set of circumstances. We get lost in the ineffectual mantras of "If I were just prettier or smarter or richer or more successful like so-and-so..." which weigh us down and actually create discontentment.

To compare our stuff to someone else's treasure is neither reasonable nor effective. Why should you have everything that your neighbor has in the first place? Also, what good does it do to gripe over the stuff you can't have right now? Some would say that it allows you to be more vicious in your determination. Maybe it's the edge you need to climb to the top. Maybe if you long to win the Lotto enough, then it will eventually happen for you.

If that friend doesn't want to invest the time right now, then maybe you should just let her have it and bail out of the relationship as well. If she won't say sorry first, you should just write her off as a friend, right? Or perhaps, a state of contentedness right where you're at is the thing that will bring true happiness.

Today I freaked out at my daughter because she refused to quit adding toys to a pretend breakfast area she'd created. She wouldn't give me back the bin of books or Legos and I went ballistic. I got so upset because I was exhausted and couldn't do anything to make her listen to me.

I had started to believe that if I could just have a cleaner house, I would feel better about myself and happier in my countenance. But, the truth is that I ended up feeling like crap for having gotten so mad at my four-year-old. We do this with stuff too. If I just had the new car? The new job? The new relationship? The new vacation planned? And then those get dirty, old, and expired too.

When we waste too much time chasing the wind that can NOT be caught, we pay the price. So we need to pause to evaluate the kind of goals we want to have in the first place. Since "happiness" is most people's main aspiration in life, it seems reasonable to slow down to examine what that looks like for your particular family. Decide if money will truly make you happy.

Figure out which relationships are the most important. Being number one at your office might make you the best corporate climber but one of the worst possible dads. Which will make you happier? What about your home? Does it really have to look like it's out of a magazine for it to be good enough?

What if you just take a break to go and play with your kids even though it stays messy as a result? How about mopping just the messy spots rather than all of the floors so that you carve out some quality family time? The investment with the kids will likely produce the most satisfaction in the end.

Making sacrifices once you decide what truly makes you happy means that you'll miss out on some stuff and some public accolades as a result. You might not get the boat or the motor-home this year. You might have to wait for a new car and settle for a used one. You might have to give up the promotion if you're not willing to put in sixty hour work-weeks.

Similarly, you might have to be more gracious towards certain relationships and quit blaming their lack of success on everyone else. If that relationship is super important, then stop whining and invest in those people. If your relative has no time for you, offer to help him or her with one of their projects. Don't make excuses... "if only she or he would do this..." Get over yourself and go for the ultimate goal to be happy by making the right choices.

While feelings of happiness wax and wane depending on the kind of day we've each had, a state of relative contentment can be attained by taking some time out to evaluate what you really want in life. If your family, other close relationships, and faith come up on the top of the list, I think you're headed in the right direction.

And it doesn't mean you can't buy a new shirt or get a new hairdo. Nor does it mean you can't get that season sport's package or pick out some fun paint colors to spritz up the house. Just make sure your own happiness isn't contingent upon those acquisitions or accomplishments. Be content with what's staring you in the face. Share what makes you happy. We'd love to hear from you! :)

Labels: happiness, kids, parents

I was at my daughter's preschool yesterday in such a great mood. You know when the birds are singing a duet just for your benefit and Mr. Sun's rays shine down on you alone? You feel like you're in the 2007 movie Enchanted, singing next to Amy Adams where love fills the air. The day is going along great and then, like a tornado springing down from the heavens, someone derails your happy day.

The comment took me completely by surprise. As I walked into the classroom to pick up my youngest daughter, one of her teachers darted a critical and unapologetic comment down my spine. Her tone was harsh and humiliating and all I could tell her was, "Well, we're working on it."

It stung like a bee sting because I actually care about this person's opinion of me and of my daughter. Unfortunately, the stinger dug deeper than I'd initially realized. I tossed and turned throughout part of the night about how I should respond. But we've all experienced this before, right?

After the over-digestion of this dilemma last night, I awoke and still felt irritated. And I'm frustrated that it's still bugging me. But then it hit me! We all say stupid stuff sometimes. Haven't you done it a plethora of times before as well? Your unkind words come out in a zingy tone and then you wish you'd been able to keep your big mouth shut. You long to type in "Control Z" but it's too late.

As moms, we owe it to one another to give a pass when the stupid stuff comes out. If there are repeated cruel offenses, then it's worth rectifying the situation. But if the icy cold remarks are few and far between, then we should all just give some grace. Who knows if my daughter's teacher had just had a really rough day? Maybe she was exhausted and took out her pent up frustrations on us.

It's hard to act like the bigger person, even as adults, but the pay-off is huge. First, we get to feel good about doing the right thing. Second, we get to act as mature role models for our kids. When they see us choosing not to overreact to someone's idiocy, they too will gain a sense of metered calm in their own social situations.

The obvious truth is that we're surrounded by imperfect people who occasionally say stupid stuff. So before your next confrontation with an unfriendly encounter, decide how you want to respond: by freaking out or by giving that person a second chance?

Keeping it real. Share your thoughts on dealing with difficult people or situations. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: kids, parents, school

If you're a busy parent (like most of us), then you are always trying to share valuable moments with your children amidst the plethora of demands vying for your time. So, here are five easy ways to connect with your kids, even if you're thrashing around like a great white shark, just trying to fit it all in.

First, write simple notes inside of your child's lunch-pail. Today I gave my son some fun facts about the world's tallest mountains. Apparently Mt. Everest has the highest altitude at 8,848 meters above sea level, but it is not the tallest mountain. Geology.com awards the proud island Mauna Kea as the "tallest mountain," which is 10,000 plus meters above the sea floor.

And for a third bit of trivia to the mountain contest, I informed my son that Chimborazo of Ecuador is the highest mountain above the earth's center (6,310 meters). So, just try to connect with your kid over a simple bit of kid-trivia. Or it could be as simple as writing, "I love you" on his or her napkin.

Second, remember to go on special one-on-one dates with your child. If you have more than one, this is especially important. It's hard to fit in time with each kid for a special ice cream treat or a movie at the Plaza. But it's worth scheduling in the time, even if you have to cut something else out. During your special Mommy or Daddy time with your daughter or son, you get to listen with both ears to their thoughts and concerns.

Even if you just end up shooting the breeze about the newest Wii or XBox game or their new favorite song, you'll be establishing roots for your relationship. Ask them basic questions, like where they want to go for summer vacation or what their favorite ride is at Legoland or Disneyland. It's the simple stuff that adds up to form meaningful connections.

Third, draw a picture of your kid at your favorite place together. Maybe it's a pencil drawing of you and her at the beach watching the dolphins swim by. Or, perhaps you will get those crayons out and draw one of the two of you cuddling together eating popcorn while watching a movie.

Whatever you draw, you should take the time to tell your child why the picture is special to you. Let her know that you value your time together. Remind your kid that you care about her because she belongs to you. Then, paste it up on her closet door or frame it and nail it up on her bedroom wall. Your child will see it and think of your consistent relationship no matter how busy and crazy life gets.

Fourth, enjoy the great outdoors together. Go for a walk or a bike ride around the neighborhood. If you have an adventurous side, you could even put your dog's leash on and head out to the wild hillsides of the Inland Empire for a nature hike. If you feel up to it, pack a picnic with fun treats and lots of water as well.

As it warms up, you could go swimming together or run through the sprinklers if you'd prefer to stay in your own backyard. Whatever you do, breathe in the breezy sun-filled air and create some memories together while exercising a bit along the way.

Fifth, dress up in funny clothes together. This will even make your bigger kid(s) laugh. Ask your child(ren) to put on snow clothes inside of your house and then add a summer straw hat to add flair to the fun uniform. You can take turns photographing each other as well.

I have a picture of my three kids dressed up in snow clothes from last summer. People used to see their picture on my phone and thought it was from some kind of a ski trip. I'd say, "Nope, it was inside of our house from a fun round of dress-up." Some of you might think this sounds strange, but if it helps you to connect with your kids, then it's worth the effort.

Share your thoughts about busy schedules and connecting with your kiddos. Just keeping it real! We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: connecting, kids, parents

"Just go for it" is my new motto. Why not? Life is short, so there's no reason to hold back from your dreams, passions, and your god-given talents. If you were to die tomorrow, wouldn't you want to know that you gave this life your best shot in every area?

In psychological terms, one observes a response mechanism called "fight or flight." If you are faced with a threatening situation, you either stay there and fight or you put on your track shoes and flee the scene. I occasionally experience this with surfing.

Awhile back, when a huge set of waves surged in, I had two choices: to fight and catch one of the big gnarly looking waves or to duck-dive under it at its calm point, escaping the thunderous crash.

Since my surfing skills are sub-par, when I'm faced with a large set, I usually go for the flight option. The reason I decide to chicken out is because I realize I'm gonna get hurt if I try to take on a set that's more awesome than my skill-set (which happens a lot).

In life though, you sometimes have to fight! We frequently shy away from certain situations because avoiding imminent danger seems like a rational choice. But, what if by fleeing the scene all the time you are actually suppressing a big part of who you are?

You can't always be an observer. Sometimes you just have to charge it, even when the outcome means possible failure or even physical or emotional pain. For those glorious waves that I do catch, the adrenaline gets pumping and I feel empowered and alive.

Maybe you’ve always wanted to start a band. But, you're too old, right? You’re too busy deciding between tuna casserole and Hamburger Helper to pursue that pipe dream, huh? I think it’s time to call the babysitter so you can head out to the karaoke bar. If not now, then when?

What about that beautiful butterfly tattoo you've been contemplating for the last decade? Why haven't you done it? There won't ever be a better time than the present and the longer you wait, the more rolls you’re gonna have to deal with. Remember that your life is just a blink.

Don’t end up at the nursing home wishing you could tell your grand-kids how cool bungy-jumping was back in the day. Take your loved one on a hot air balloon ride. Dance your heart out at that upcoming wedding or holiday party. Sign up for that karate class or those scuba diving lessons. If you don’t go online to sign up today, you probably won’t ever do it.

If you have a significant other, be thankful that you do. You should kiss him like you really mean it. Don't let him guess how you feel about him, as if you’re unsure. What if tonight was your last kiss? Don’t settle for a little peck on the cheek. Go for it!

Truth be told, as a parent of three young kids, sometimes my most exciting decision of the week is which pizza place to call for take-out. Occasionally, it's which movie to rent from Redbox.

Many of us feel like we went from teenagers to thirty-somethings over night. We’re in shock about the wrinkles and the achy joints. But, here’s my challenge to you: Do one thing for yourself today that celebrates your passion!

Before you go to bed tonight, start a blog. Submit that book idea to your editorial contact. Order something fancy on the menu instead of a bean and cheese burrito. Rent that motorcycle for the weekend. Book that flight to Italy that you’ve been postponing for the past decade. “Just go for it,” while you still can!

Labels: family, life, parents, passion

Sometimes, I pine for a more exciting life. Do you know what I mean when I say that life just seems boring? It's not that I get much time to simply sit around like a vegetable, especially now that the kids are back in school.

I should just paint my van yellow because then I'd feel more like an actual taxi cab driver. Honestly, I feel like the clock sprints from 6:45 A.M. to 11:30 P.M. while I shut my eyes, wondering what the day actually consisted of. Nothing brilliant or exceptional comes to mind.

Cheese stix and Gogurts for breakfast might top the list as interesting, but that would be a pretty boring list. My youngest daughter and I did meander off for an exciting breakfast at the donut store after dropping off her older siblings at school.

It was fairly predictable, except for my puzzlement as I contemplated how my daughter could possibly stuff that much frosting up her nose while consuming so little of the actual donut. Chocolate of course...but amazingly her light green dress stayed clean.

We enjoyed the preschool orientation today and saw some old faces...and a few new ones, including some of the cutest newborns who decided to pop out during the summertime.

My daughter's matriculation to the big-kid playground was a tremendous achievement, as was her discovery of a black widow spider on the edge of the yellow slide where she and her friends were playing. My detective daughter saved the day! I of course summoned help from a nearby teacher and fled the scene like a total wimp.

After conferencing with a few teachers after big-kid pick-up, we finally made it to my son's eye doctor to retrieve his new glasses. At first the blue frames were nowhere to be found, even though we'd received our pick-up call three days earlier.

We waited patiently, as I read a totally strange book titled "Noel" to my kids for about ten minutes. If you've read it, you might associate it as a classic, but I found it to be rather eerie, with references to people as things and the "happiness" that the ornament possessed as if it in fact was a person.

Then, we found ourselves back in the donut store because it's Friday after all and you can never have too many donuts, right? While the kids scarfed down their donuts, my middle child realized she'd forgotten her new Santa toy at the eye doctor so off we strolled back in that direction.

Thank goodness Mr. Claus had wedged himself safely between a chair and the wall; his red jacket was unmistakable. Now, as I type, I can hear the Frosty the Snowman chorus, as my three kids sit watching a Christmas video in September. Strange, right?

And what comes to mind is that none of this day has been particularly eventful, just busy... filled with lots of menial tasks. As I've thought about how the day has not amounted to much, as far as most onlookers would conclude... I'm thinking that it's actually an ok thing.

I mean, having a somewhat uneventful day is a blessing, really. It depends on how you look at it, of course. But, it's better than one of my kids having broken a limb. Or someone getting stung by a bee. Or someone getting the stomach flu or hives or strep throat.

Amazingly, no-one even scraped a knee today. And everyone actually ate their lunch, which bums my dog out cuz she loves bologna sandwiches. But, she got the crust of one kid's sandwich, so even she is pretty content at the moment.

We have a fridge full of food. The weather is mild and comfortable. Our cars are all running. I've got way too much clean laundry to fold at the moment; but, at least we have clean clothes to wear and my littlest doesn't have to borrow her big brother's undies like she did earlier in the week.

I guess what I'm getting at is this: boredom can be a blessing. It's way better than total chaos. And while it might seem less meaningful than winning the Lotto or being at Disneyland, we're all doing pretty well right where we're at. Things could be way worse.

So, if your day has been slightly dull, but free of catastrophe like mine, then you should count yourself lucky and stop complaining. Let's enjoy the trivial stuff more often. Let's take time to feel thankful for life's mediocre moments.

Truth be told, we all know that there are plenty of crazy ones just lurking around the corner. Sometimes, we long for something more, but really we should just sit back and enjoy the nothingness of the moment that we're in.

Peace out and enjoy your night! I think we're gonna cook some pancakes and stay home for family movie night. How boring, right? I might even squeeze in a jog around the neighborhood, which will negate the caloric intake of Mud Pie ice cream that I intend to eat before bed. Total excitement, right?

BTW, if you're wondering about the holiday references, in my opinion, it's never too early to start thinking about Christmas. I love it more than dark chocolate and even Starbucks coffe; as such, I generally start playing Christmas music in July, which drives my husband insane.

In closing, God bless and remember to enjoy your kids while they're still living at home! Be glad that you have some boring moments to share together as a family. And please share some of your boring blessings; we'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: boredom, kids, parents

The thing about family life is that it's totally chaotic most of the time. I'll give you a taste of my last twenty-four hours. Full sink of dishes, like even when it's empty, it's still full. So much laundry that I can hardly find the detergent in my laundry room to wash all the towels, sheets, and clothes.

Turn twenty degrees to the left and you'll bump into my refrigerator. Total chaos...how do people keep all their bread loaves organized anyways? I end up with like ten bags, each containing the two end pieces. And another point of fridge contention is the way that apple juice and milk containers literally have some kind of mysterious drip system during the night. Even if we replace them every single day, they run out before the next morning. It's weird.

There are so many snacks and meals to prepare that I get tired just thinking of what I'm going to make the kids for breakfast and it's almost 10:20AM as I write this (poor kids are starving to death...gotta love summer). They're young and resilient though, so I'm sure they'll be fine. In fact, I'll just stretch it out a bit longer and serve them some brunch instead. :)

Take a visual of my morning. 5:50AM, my sweet husband tears off the pee-pee sheets from our daughter's bed while I take off her wet clothes. 6:30AM, I slither my way down to write for a little bit while my laptop hums quietly amidst the temporary silence.

Then, I gather the ingredients to make my hubby's breakfast and to pack his lunch. While sipping my medium roast sanity-saver (aka coffee), I glance through my family room where our area-rug is still drying due to a pee-pee accident from the night before. It's a good thing it's got a swirl pattern on it. Aren't solids the worst?

Chaos is so adventurous though; you've gotta love it. Stepping into the kitchen has never been so exciting; I look down to find a plethora of small shards of glass blanketing the tile floor. This was the result of the previous night as well, when one of my kids grabbed the salt jar against my will during dinner and subsequently dropped it all over the floor. I guess my sweeping job was a little sub-par, but it was late, so I can't really be blamed.

A few hours later, my youngest child floods our bathroom with toilet water. Thankfully, the soothing sound of rushing water was so anomalous that my ears shot up like a basset hound and I salvaged the situation before water flushed out into the family room. I can't fault this daughter for her enthusiasm; she's like an Olympic toilet flusher who thinks that somehow if she jiggles the handle faster and more fervently, the toilet will flush more effectively. You get the picture; it's total chaos.

If you're a parent, you can totally relate. I mean, I don't even have to describe my upstairs because you're like, "Stop, I get it. I can picture it." So, my question for you is this: "How do we survive this season of parenting chaos with any remnants of sanity by the end of the day?"

The answer is this: "Love your kids well." Even though I don't have time to read the ten best-selling parenting books collecting dust on my shelf, somehow I must be doing something right. My kids laugh a ton; they're all growing according to the doctor's charts. They're doing well academically and socially... and I'm having a ton of fun along the way. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm laughing or crying, but that could just be PMS.

I could give you something deeper than this little kernel of wisdom, but the truth is that I have to run and get my kids some breakfast before their stomachs cave in. Plus, my littlest is about to go potty again and knowing her... she's going to race into another flush-derby.

Share some of your funny parenting moments here. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: chaos, family, kids, parents

I feel like God is calling me to trust Him even more deeply than the day before. It's like this never-ending cycle, right? We begin to trust Him in one area of our lives and then He calls us further into the maze, to trust with stronger faith. If it's not your own issues, then it's something about your kids. Or maybe you've got some financial issues that are dragging you down.

Perhaps it's an ongoing battle with your spouse... because marriage seems to be a never-ending work in progress given by the Master as well. He's constantly shaping us into His service and His workmanship directly through the hands of our loved one. Will we trust God to make us more patient, less angry, more forgiving? Will we let that issue go, that's not really that big of a deal anyways?

The question we have to ask ourselves in all of these things is this: Is God faithful? If He is, then whatever we face, no matter how small or big, we know we can get through it. Do you believe it, daughter or son of the King? Do you really believe that God is faithful? Do you think He sees you during those quiet moments when no-one else can? I think He does.

Easier said than done though, right? That's usually where my struggle begins. I feel like God is faithful one day, but maybe not so much the next. I overcome a huge obstacle and then within days, I'm like: "Well God, how in the world are you going to help me with this next thing?" It's like I'm a child who has all my needs met... but constantly implores, "When's my next snack? I need one NOW...even though you just gave me one fifteen minutes ago!"

We know as parents that our kids' needs are always on the center of our minds. We readily intend to meet their next and most immediate need. But, sometimes their urgency makes us feel like they don't think we'll come through for them. When one of my kids comes running down the stairs yelling, "More chips pleaaaaaase..." you would think he or she had suffered from a severe form of starvation. The truth is, I'm constantly offering them food throughout the day; they could never feel starved in our family's home.

That's how God is with us as well. He meets our needs so abundantly. During His time on earth, Jesus said, "...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10b). He goes on to say, "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep" (v. 11). I mean, how can we waste even one second worrying about whether or not God is going to come through for us? He gave us His very own life!

He sacrificed everything for us. He heard the battle cry. He conquered the ugly grip of sin that enslaved us by nailing His own hands and ankles upon the cross. Sure...the Roman soldiers held the hammers, but don't you know His own power allowed the nails to dig into His flesh? In just one millisecond, He could have released the heavenly battalions and commanded the injustice to end. But He didn't. He hung on the cross so that you and I could be free.

When you feel like you can't really trust Jesus, picture a cross hanging in your own home. Would you get on it for someone else? And even if you would be willing to, have you been called to do that any time recently? Pretty sure your answer is "No." So the least you and I can do is this: trust our Savior...because He is trustworthy.

The Apostle Paul reminds us to hand our stresses over to God: "Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6+7).

Maybe this post doesn't change anything for you. You're still strung out. That stressful situation still looms over you like a thundercloud. That bill still rests on your chaotic counter-top. Your kid still struggles with that same old issue. You still have to forgive your spouse for being grumpy this very morning.

But, here's the thing about Jesus. When you give Him a little, he takes it and multiplies it. So, start out small with three simple steps. First, take twenty seconds and talk to the Lord about it. Say, "God, this thing overwhelms me. Help!" Second, write down a few of the verses listed above on a sticky note and paste it somewhere to remind you of how He cares.

Third, lift your hands up to heaven as a symbol of how you're letting this stuff go. The issues that your family faces are outside of your control, but not outside of His. You can rest now because you are in good hands.

Labels: Bible, faith, kids, parents, trust

As parents, we often feel that sigh of relief as the middle of June approaches. No more homework, no more racing to school before that "da-n" bell rings and the gate slams shut. At the same time, I remember feeling like a bag of bricks was hanging from my neck. Ten weeks at home with my three kids just sounded so long and cumbersome.

The dread of seventy-three long hot days ahead of us consumed me...at first. Granted that first week hardly counts; we were all a mass of zombie-vegetables lying in front of the television, decompressing from a tornado-like twist of chaos during those last few weeks of school. But then...the strangest thing happened. I blinked and it was already the end of July.

After that last minimum day of school and the week that didn't really count for much at all, we busied ourselves with eye appointments, my husband's graduation from his Ph.D. program (GO HUBBY!), a theater production, beach trips, a Father's Day dinner at a beach brewery, library trips, visits to our local bookstore, barbecues with friends, a trip to a local radio station and alas...SUMMER VACATION!

Summer vacation was faster than a blink. Two trips to Sea World, two days at the Zoo, tide-pooling at the beach, lounging at the pool, visiting the new children's museum downtown, scooting all over Balboa Park, and a Padres game...was fun, but exhausting. By the end, we needed a vacation from our vacation.

And now, we have less than five weeks left. This will include more swimming, more reading, more eating, more time with friends, and definitely more sweating through this blistering heat. But my attitude has changed. It went from a feeling of skepticism for what the summer would hold to one of pensive contemplation.

I'm bummed that it has gone by so quickly. Now, I feel like I'm grabbing at the days like they are precious gold, grasping for one more minute after each bed-time story. If only July had forty-five days instead of thirty-one. But, it doesn't and before we know it, it will be August twenty-third...back to school and back to the cycle of chaos that ensues.

But, the good thing about introspection is that it makes us enjoy what we have even more. We get to hug our kids longer while we treasure these remaining weeks. We can savor each slow sip of our morning brew instead of darting out the door for the early morning drop-off. And let's not forget to linger during lunchtime with that mouthwatering watermelon that's still on the menu.

In closing, one word comes to mind: "Enjoy!" Enjoy these remaining five weeks of summer-break. Enjoy your kids. Enjoy that novel that you're in the middle of. Enjoy your fuzzy slippers and your friendly flip-flops long into the lazy afternoon. Enjoy the scrumptious, tropical smell of sunscreen. And remember to enjoy some other hobbies along the way...art, music, cooking, creating, dreaming.

Share how your family has enjoyed this adventurous and sun-kissed summer. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: kids, parents, summer break

When we allow our minds to be weighed down by the "what ifs" of yesterday or tomorrow, we can not fulfill the duties of today. Though challenging to say the least, we must engage the present by keeping our eyes on what faces us right now.

For some, a broken relationship from the past haunts them while another regrets a poor decision from decades ago. One thinks, "If I'd only done A instead of B!" But, what value is there in reliving the "wish I'd haves" from days gone by? In truth, the "couldas," "shouldas," and "wouldas" only serve as shackles on our feet while trespassing upon our ability to take steps for today.

Similarly, others dread the future. One wonders, "How will I pay that bill that's coming next week?" Another ponders, "What if my spouse ever leaves me or what if my child gets sick and dies?" Just like obsessing over the past can not rewrite history, stressing over the future doesn't make life safer or void of problems either. Even though it might seem less damaging to worry about the future instead of the past, living with your eyes upon tomorrow can be futile as well.

Even Jesus cautions against this kind of thinking when he says, "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6:34). I think I hear an "Amen" through my laptop from some of you on this point because most of us readily agree that each day has enough problems of its own. Sadly, we often forget to apply the first part of that verse about not worrying.

Now, this doesn't mean that we can't ever think about issues from the past or possess feelings of regret. Nor, does it mean that we can't plan for the future by making wise choices, such as solvent financial investments or a healthy diet and exercise plan. But, in the midst of these contemplations, we shouldn't fret over the past or the future beyond what we can control. Instead, we should seek serenity for today because the truth is that we can't change the past and we can't determine the future.

So, instead of taking steps backward or forward, let's stand firm upon the tasks and concerns of today, just one moment at a time. Let's busy ourselves with current needs and responsibilities: food, clothes, bills, relationships, and chores...but just for today. The result will be a fuller day, lived with intentionality and focus. By living for one day at a time, each breath will feel deeper and more relaxed; anxieties will lessen, and peace will follow!

Share some of your thoughts about living simply for today. What are some of the tools that help you to implement these truths? We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: faith, live for today, parents

As parents, we should encourage our kids toward their specific goals. But, first we have to help them figure out what those goals are. They're passionate about a variety of things, from their academic classes and sports, to their extracurricular activities or religious commitments. Which ones are the most important? Which ones will match up with their greatest potential? As their moms and dads, we get to evaluate those strengths while helping them draw out an exciting picture of their professional future.

Eventually, they will graduate from high school and move on to a career and/or a family. So, let's give them some tools to evaluate their future while they are young. But, how do we get started? Shaping our kids' career goals might seem like a mighty task, but it doesn't have to be daunting. It can actually be pretty simple and fun as well. Here are four suggestions to get you started.

First, spend some quality time with your kid. Even though you already know your own kid pretty well, ask her what she loves to spend her time doing. Ask why she loves that particular subject or activity and make sure she's pursuing it because of her passion, not yours. Get to know her by talking about some of her favorite magazines or websites. You could even ask about some upcoming movie titles as you evaluate her interests: adventures, dramas, action flicks, mysteries, etc.

Part of this exercise also helps to strengthen your understanding of what she's already good at...math, science, art, soccer, etc. It's likely that some of her natural talents will line up with some of her future goals. Discuss her end-of-the-year projects and the outcome of her final exams. Take the time to connect so you can both be on the same page. Some parents might assume their kid will be an architect but what if he does poorly at math and art? Doesn't sound like a fit.

Second, brainstorm with your child about some possible career choices to get the ideas flowing. Talk about what a love for art could turn into: a painter, a graphic designer, or a movie producer, etc. Discuss the possibilities of a career as a scientist: an astronomer, an oceanographer, or a geologist. Visit some fun science websites together, such as NASA's website (www.nasa.gov) which explores various scientific facets, including astronomical and oceanographic studies.

If your son loves firetrucks, talk to him about what firefighters do and see if he has similar interests. Maybe he loves to swim; so, you could discuss the duties of the US Coast Guard or a potential career as a dolphin trainer. If your child's favorite activity is to observe and listen to others, you could talk about the variety of jobs that are offered to professional counselors via schools, hospitals, military branches, and even through the financial sector.

Third, keep it real. Ask your kids what they want to be when they grow up. Describe some different career choices that you considered when you were young. As you do this, discuss your own career path while showing them how you came to your decision. Remember to include your honest evaluation of your own professional decisions. Maybe you love your job; maybe you don't. Let them know how you really feel.

Talk to them about the reality that many people make a variety of career choices over their lifetime. Allow them to see that they can apply multiple interests over the years and that they don't have to feel limited by one plan. For example, my kids know that I used to be a Spanish professor before they were born, but now understand how I have modified my career goals to be at home with them as a freelance writer while they are young.

Fourth, give them practical ways to see those careers in action. Allow their inexperienced eyes to glance at a variety of professional environments. If your kids seem interested in art, fan the flame by taking them to some local art museums this summer. If you're up for a drive to Los Angeles, check out the Getty Museum where admission is always free (http://www.getty.edu/museum/).

Perhaps your kid is a digger and a builder, so your summer visit might include a stop through a model home development or a visit to some downtown skyscrapers. If your daughter loves animals and wants to be a vet, line up some visits to your city's animal rescue center or drive down to San Diego to visit the Wild Animal Park or the Zoo (http://www.sandiegozoo.org/).

Maybe your child loves to ham it up on the pretend microphone all day long; so, you could take him or her for a visit to a local radio station. Who knows, your kid might end up as the next announcer for your favorite sport's team. Free tickets anyone? If it's close to impossible to reach the big-wigs from a major radio station, try a junior college or university near you, where access might be easier.

Even though your children may not pursue their childhood interests as adults, motivating them as kids gives them enthusiasm for the future. Just helping them to evaluate the idea of being a professional someday is a great start. It allows them to dream big and to see their own potential. Think of some kids you knew growing up who never thought they would amount to much. Imagine if their parents had invested a little bit more time and energy into their future.

For older kids, it's especially important that they understand the preparation involved for certain careers. Talk to them about the need for a good high school record, so that they can get into a decent college. Share with them how a college degree is a basic requirement for many professions now. If they can see these things ahead of time, hopefully they'll perform accordingly.

Your care for their passions and your interest in their preparedness shows them love and support. So, even if your kid doesn't end up as a future president of the United States, her dream and the endless array of imaginary speeches will prepare her for life as a successful adult regardless of the altered career path. She may even choose to do what you've done because she's seen the love you've had for your own job over the years.

Whatever comes out of these suggestions, never underestimate the investment you make in your child's future. Share some of your son or daughter's passions and dreams. We'd love to hear from you.

Labels: career, dreams, goals, kids, parents

Sometimes as parents, we forget to enjoy quality time with our kids. It's easy to miss out on the fun, the laughter, the sweet smiles, and the unsolicited bear-hugs because there are so many other things vying for our time. The arduous regimen of cleaning the house, clothing the kids, buying the groceries, paying the bills, and finishing homework sometime before 9pm can feel overwhelming. But, that's the very reason that we must spend some quality time with our kids somewhere in the middle of it all. Here are four ideas to get you started:

First, ask your kids silly questions. If yours are anything like mine, their responses alone will solicit some great connection-points, along with hearty laughter and some smiles as well. You could ask them the color of the wind, what the sun tastes like, or what they would add to marshmallow soup. You could also ponder what happens when a gummy bear loses its head. Both of my daughters said that the wind is white and that the sun tastes like fire. Subsequently, my middle daughter said she would add "marshmallows" to marshmallow soup, of course. And if a gummy bear lost its head, she commented, "It wouldn't be able to see." Silliness helps to create quality time because you look your kids in the eyes. You're speaking their language, silliness.

Second, get out the ice cream scoop and plan a family sundae-creation-contest. You could make an ice-cream lava volcano, a t-rex mountain, or a princess castle. The ideas are limitless. Make sure you allow the kids to load up their sundaes with everything from assorted chocolate candies, gummy worms, sprinkles, and hot-fudge syrup. And don't forget the whipped cream and cherries as well. Remember that yours must outdo theirs; it's gotta be the tallest and best decorated sundae of them all. It will be messy. You'll probably even waste some of the sweet treats; but, you'll giggle, snort, and even enjoy some quality time with your kiddos. No rules, just fun!

Third, create an adventurous night outdoors. Get out the fire-pit and make some s'mores. My kids love it when I let my marshmallow catch on fire. Let it burn baby! They think I'm so rebellious. I know the carbon's not good for me, but it's how I love 'em. After a bonfire, lay out some blankets under the stars and put their science knowledge to use. It's amazing what the kids are teaching me these days. Last night, while staring up at the Big Dipper, they informed me that it is part of the Great Bear constellation (also known as Ursa Major), which they had learned from watching Zula Patrol. Go PBS! :)

Fourth, just chill out on the couch and flip through some of the kids' books or video games. Make yourself appear super cozy and say things out loud, like "Wow, this place sounds amazing" or "I never knew about that crazy move before." In a matter of seconds or minutes, your kids will join you on the couch, asking you to read or play their game with them.

They'll devour the content because you think it's cool. And they'll know that you value them because you value their stuff. Even the toughest nut wants quality time with his parent. He might act like he doesn't want to join you, but the proof is in the pudding. See what he does when you slow down and check out his gear. Enjoy ten to fifteen minutes in your kids' world asking them what their favorite part of the book or game is. Probe about the connections between the book or game and their actual lives. Ask, "So, is there anyone at your school who acts like this character?"

Getting personal with your kids isn't really that hard. It does require some down-time and a relaxed attitude though. If you're stressing over the messes and the unfinished food on their plate, they won't feel compelled to kick back and chill with you. So, take a break from the chaos and connect with your kiddos. Let them know that you love them by spending some quality time together.

Let me know how it goes. Share some of your own thoughts here as well. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: family, kids, parents, quality time

So, here we are in May...already. Can you believe it? That means that summer vacation is quickly approaching. If your family is anything like mine, you love to spend money on vacation. But, because of all of our other monthly expenses, from the kids' spring clothes to gear for all the extra-curriculars, we haven't had the chance to save a bunch of spending money for our upcoming vacation. So, here's how to tackle this dilemma.

First, you need some motivation. Picture your family sipping tasty frapps near the beach. Later, you sit with that new book you bought at that fun bookstore near the timeshare resort in a lounge-chair by the pool. Your kids pine for ice cream each day to battle the hot summer sun; you don't want to pass up Golden Spoon or Coldstone either. So, go ahead and upgrade to the large cup because you've got the cash in hand. Those amazing dinners to Sammy's Woodfire Pizza and Olive Garden should motivate you as well.

So, let's get saving. Here are four ideas to get you started on your family's plan:

First, take your recycled items to a nearby recycling center. Instead of dumping the plastics and cardboard into the blue bin in your own side-yard (that you pay for), go and get some green for them instead. It's easy to get lazy with those soda or water bottles from the car since you just want to toss them right there at the gas station. But, hang on to them for a few more weeks or months and let your cash-pile increase.

Second, peruse your garage for some stuff you no longer want or need. If you have enough junk for a garage sale, then slot out an upcoming weekend and get planning. Depending on your collection habits, this could easily net you between $200-$500. If it's not a family heirloom and you haven't used it within the past one or two years, you're probably ready to sell it to someone else. That old dresser that's collected dust for the past six months might just be ready to move into a neighbor's house as well. Why keep it if you don't use it and you could get some mula for your vacay?

If you're just not in to the garage sale thing, then find five to ten bigger items and list them on Craigslist.org or PennysaverUSA.com. If you have a digital camera or a camera phone, just take a few quick shots of each item and slap them up on the web for some great results. You can even barter with other locals for some needed vacation gear. For example, your kids may no longer need the full set of Barney DVDs, so you could trade it for someone's lightly used snorkeling gear instead.

Third, stop spending so much money. Seriously, put a $20 bill in a marked envelope for the next four to six weeks and there you've got an extra $80-$120. Instead of drinking those lattes and frapps over the next month or two, think of how you'll enjoy them even more during your upcoming vacay. You could even postpone a few movie dates or some lunches out; just buy those tix and gift cards ahead of time and add them to your white "VACATION" envelope.

Fourth, if you have a job where you're able to get overtime or increased pay, go ahead and work like a dog over the next month and use that fat paycheck for the following month's relaxation on the beach. If your pay is based on a fixed salary, you could always beg your boss for a bonus, but that might make you appear desperate.

As an alternative, look into some side jobs. If you're a techy gal, offer some computer consulting online. Or, maybe you're a teacher and you could offer some private tutoring during the evenings for some neighborhood kids. Music lessons anyone? What about sewing a few baby blankets with all that extra fabric in your closet? eBay buyers would love you for it. Just remember to think creatively!

And if your kids want to save some money for vacay, they could offer to watch a neighbor's dog or cat while they're away on an earlier vacation. Or, they could offer to babysit, mow someone's lawn, or provide other types of housework.

Saving now means some fun spending later. So, get going. Carpe diem and let me know how it works out. Plus, share some of your own ideas for how to save for an upcoming vacation. We'd love to hear from you. :)

Labels: parents, summer, vacation

My house is a kid-proofed, kid-blessed, kid-crazed kid-zone. Of course there's a Nerf-axe next to my foot as I sit down to use the potty. There are also crayon marks decorating my white blinds and marker drawings coating the sliding-glass doors.

The dining room houses Big Bird and all of his buddies, along with a bin of markers, a coloring book, a toy giraffe, and a miniature Barbie doll. A pink can of bunny bubbles sits on my kitchen counter, along with a pair of white socks, a white t-shirt, and a brush with the end chopped off of it (not sure how the heck that happened). Did I mention the Spider-man ball or the red microphone yet?

Shoes sprawl across my entryway as well; it's as if they leap out of the shoe-basket themselves greeting the new day. The coats look similar... draped above the shoe organizer as if a tornado threw them into an indistinguishable pile of rubble.

My family room is a disaster kid-zone too, with an Ariel beach towel laid across the floor, since my middle child decided to soak herself while fully clothed in the turtle pool yesterday after that fun rainstorm that we got. Then, there's my tan Labrador looking super cozy on my brown leather couch, along with a toy basketball set, a Dora doodle pad, and a blue and green pencil.

Below my leather sectional, there's a naked baby doll, a tipped over baby stroller, a stack of Legos, a Buzz Light-year plush toy, an orange hat, a white baby blanket (now used for the dollies), a knight's helmet from Legoland, a green cup, and a kangaroo toy. Not to mention... the Star Wars star-ship resting atop my coffee table or the Barbie sunglasses below the toy organizers; you get the picture. It's probably not too far off from your house right now if you're a parent of three young children. No matter how hard we try, the house looks like a toy-explosion at any given moment.

My outlook on some days reflects the clutter filling my home. When will this chaos end? When will the messes clean themselves up? When will my kids listen to me? However, when I find myself wishing this season away, I sort of want someone to smack me in the head, reminding me that I'm going to look back and miss all of this. Yes, even the crazy days, when I'd rather trade brains with my dog, just so I could sleep the afternoon away, able to ignore all the tasks around me.

Some of you parents of older kids might testify to this precious season when the kids are cute but inevitably mess-makers at every turn. I can tell I will continue to traverse these yin and yang types of feelings throughout my journey as a mom. I hate the messes, the kids' tantrums (especially my three-year-old princess), and the complaining. But, I love the donut-frosted kisses, the super huge hugs, and the sweet snuggles that come with this time period as well.

This post is just a reminder to find peace where you're at in life. No matter what phase your kids are in, try to accept them with a grain of salt. When I find myself taking things too seriously, I need to run out and do something silly...like have a twirling dance party with my kids in the middle of the kitchen.

I'd get arrested by the dancing police if they saw some of my crazy moves, but seriously, it's great cardio and my kids have a blast as well. Life is too short to get our undies knotted up in a wedgie over the minor encumbrances. Let's try to see the big picture by focusing on our kids' amazing attributes: their smiles, their laughter, and their forgiving hearts.

If you do need a break from it all and feel that you're losing your mind, remember that you can always lock yourself in the bathroom for a five minute time-out. That's what I do, but next time I need to remember to bring my MP3-player along to drown out the noisy banging on the door. Let's chill out and try to laugh more because life is so short and our kids are only young once.

Just keeping it real. Tell us how your house looks right now. Or, share a helpful tip for dealing with the kid-zones in your house. We'd love to hear from you.

Labels: home, kids, parents

Some rules were made to be broken. You've got to break the rules every once in awhile so that you know you're alive. If your manner of walking through life models a zombie that awaits death because it's so boring, then it's time to mix it up a bit. Here are five rule-breakers to get you started. And note, I didn't admonish you to break any laws, just a few rules. If it makes you feel better, you can just "bend" a few instead.

Rule-breaker number one: Eat dessert before dinner. Who says you have to eat dessert after the main course? You can start with the ice cream sundae and eat some chicken enchiladas afterward. You could even skip dinner altogether and just go for a second helping of ice cream with a brownie instead. Eat dessert for breakfast for that matter; add some chocolate chips to those pancakes or some whipped cream to that French toast. As long as you eat a metered portion and you don't indulge too often, this can be a fun and cheap way to get a little bit crazy! I love the Java Chip Frap at Starbucks (splitting a Venti with my hubby shrinks the somewhat higher price); the hot fudge sundae at McDonald's is great as well (for just a buck).

Rule-breaker number two: Ignore certain warning signs in order to see nature's beauty. While out looking for whales above the cliffs in the Pacific Palisades, my hubby and I ignored a sign that announced "DANGER." The steep trail of questionable safety had to be explored, for the unspoiled tide-pools awaited us thirty feet below. Other than a few rogue fishermen, the quarter mile beach was completely secluded. The risky hike down was totally worth it because we found an amazing starfish, one of the biggest crabs I've ever seen, and several fun sea anemones. The added bonus was the simple thrill of doing something fairly freaky and coming out unscathed.

Rule-breaker number three: Let your kids skip school every once in awhile just because. Why do they have to be sick to get a break once in awhile? I feel bad for those few kids who never even get a sneeze or a cough. That's basically unfair discrimination against healthy children. A special trip to Disneyland or to Legoland lifts everyone's tired spirit. A fun trip to the beach or an unexpected visit to Grandma's house for some milk and homemade cookies is a special treat as well. Life is short, so you can't always have your face in a book (you even need the occasional break from updating your Facebook profile online). When I was in high school, my sister and I were straight-A students, so our mom always let us play hookie a few times a year. We had a blast creating fun memories together.

Rule-breaker number four: Lie about your age or your name once in awhile. Like, if you're filling out a survey, you don't have to put that you're in the 40-49 year-old category. Why not keep yourself in the 30-39 category a little bit longer? Or, if you're at Starbucks ordering your latte and you've always wanted to be called Victoria, but you got stuck with a more common name like "Dianne," you should spice it up a bit and fib on your name, just for fun. This is more difficult if you're not paying with cash, but you can work out the details on your own. My middle daughter loves to be called different names once in awhile as well, like King Peter or Queen Lucy from The Chronicles of Narnia. She's really good at reminding me that life is an adventure.

Rule-breaker number five: When life gets you down and you feel like throwing in the towel, resist the urge to get depressed! It's not that you don't deserve a pity party sometimes, but it wastes so much energy. Why not go and get your nails done instead? Or, you could go for a refreshing hillside jog. Increasing the O2 clears the mind and gives you more energy too. If all else fails, stop by your favorite frozen yogurt joint with a carefree girlfriend to chat about some lighthearted travel dreams or a movie you can't wait to see (like New Moon on November 20th). Something fun instead of something depressing, why not? We tend to feel like we owe it to our feelings to cave in to their every whim, but it's just not true. Turn that silly rule on its head and just try to get through your most recent drama-disaster sequence without all the sadness. Smile instead!

Share one of your rule-breaker stories here. We'd love to hear from you!

Labels: kids, parents, rule-breakers

You just have to take it one day at a time. Not one week at a time or one month at a time or one year at a time, just one day at a time. When my six-year-old son gets stressed about something about "tomorrow" I say, "But,we're just going to worry about today." I also remind him of my sister's favorite Bible verse that says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6:34).

Isn't that the truth? Who has time to start freaking about tomorrow when there's already way too much crud just to get through today? But, we all do it. Somehow, even with a full-load of concerns for today, we start stressing over the "What Ifs" and the "What Abouts" of tomorrow. And the silly thing is that it doesn't even help. It actually harms us to fill our hearts with anxiety about the things that are out of our control anyways.

Many of you have heard the old adage, "Let Go and Let God!" The Christian-eze of some sayings drives me nuts because when you're in the midst of a struggle, you mainly just want a hug, not a slogan. But, this one's pretty good. For all of its goodness, I readily admit my "badness" about "letting go and letting God." I find it especially hard to trust God for my three kids. I feel like they're mine so I have to care for every part of their lives at every minute. The truth is that they're actually HIS. That means, HE will care for every part of their lives at every minute.

As moms, we frequently worry about our kids, but we also stress over lots of other stuff: money for groceries, bills, car problems, relationships, disputes, our family's health, and even how well we're doing as parents. We truly need to do our best at resolving the things that can be resolved. Maybe a phone call helps reduce an interest rate and takes some pressure off. Maybe a teacher/parent conference takes the edge off of some school concerns. Perhaps a prayer with another mom helps you feel more peaceful over a conflictual situation.

As you take it one day at a time, you have to be willing to chill out. Once you've made the calls, organized the calendar, and given everyone their vitamins, you have to take a mental break. As you relax from the intensity of it all, remember to pray for the things you can't really control anyways. Sometimes, you might even have to take it one minute at a time, and that's okay. God understands. Ultimately, even though it's tricky to do, you need to "LET GO AND LET GOD!" Whatever it is, whenever it is...just let go!

Labels: God, kids, let go, parents

Praying for the soil? You might think this sounds absurd or even a bit archaic. After all, this is the age where everyone buys their food in a package from the grocery store; she doesn't grow it herself. So, you might find it puzzling that I pray for the dirt in my backyard, but it's just a part of my love for gardening. For me, it's therapeutic and relaxing. I even love watering the browning edges of the grass when I'm lucky enough to capture a rainbow hiding in the edge of the water's curve.

So, back to the dirt thing. I have asked God to bless my soil before I plant about four to six grape vines along with five to ten more fruit trees and about twenty to thirty rose bushes. While I know that science plays a huge role in the well-being of my gardens, I also believe that God honors my prayers. Several months ago, I covered my apple, pear, apricot, lemon, and mandarin orange trees in prayer. The result was that God blessed my trees through this dry summer season. Even as one tree evidenced signs of death, I covered it in prayer and it bounced back into play.

As I pray for the dirt, it reminds me of how I'm asking God to prepare the ground for what's to come. Just like when I prayed for each of our three kids before they were born, I have also prayed for the soil for my gardens over the years. Once the plants and trees are placed in the ground for my newest garden, I will tend and care for them. Over time, the right conditions will allow them to blossom and to bloom. But it will also take lots of sweaty commitment and dirty fingernails as well.

This is what happens with our kids too. We pray for them before they're even conceived and then once they're born, we continue to cover them with prayer, love, and service. We feed them, nurture them, protect them, and teach them. Just like our garden, they too need the proper conditions to blossom: patience, love, and forgiveness. Just as we prune back our bushes, trees, and vines, we also guide our kids' paths with loving discipline. We pull them away from detrimental influences and require obedience for their safety. As we train our kids to make good choices while they are young, we prepare them to thrive once they are out on their own as mature adults.

I'm certain that gardening is easier than parenthood; however, a rose never hugs me back and a fruit tree never laughs at one of my silly jokes. Both give me joy but my kids give me the most fulfillment. As I see the sparkle in their eyes when they learn something new, I'm energized and encouraged. When one of my kids chooses the right thing over the easy one, I'm incredibly proud of him or her. Raising kids is exhausting even on a good day, but it is certainly rewarding. We have to wait for our trees to bear fruit and similarly must hang in there as we wait for our kids to flourish in beauty as well.

Labels: children, gardens, parents