Sunday, February 05, 2012
Relationships
Relationships are tricky. We've all got those friends or family members that light us up like a fireball dropping from the sun. Now you're confused right? Like, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Well, both actually. We naturally want to be around the ones who fire us up and make us passionate about life. Those are the good fireballs. But, we're all too familiar with those people who drag us down into the pit of despair. The ones who mainly talk about how life sucks or about how someone else sucks or about how the angle of the sun today, sucks. Those are the challenging fireballs.
The reality is that we have to deal with both kinds of people because God has given us a variety of relationships. Our weekly interactions involve relatives, friends, co-workers, school acquaintances, neighbors, church members, monsters, aliens, etc. (ok, just kidding about the last two). And the way we respond to both types of fireballs is important if we want to be used for God's purposes! The key to all of this is our perspective because it dictates how we'll react to both kinds of individuals. It's generally easy to interact with the positive people in our lives. In fact, we can't wait to hang out with them. But it's another thing entirely to put up with the ones who weigh us down.
I have this friend who's been like a sister to me since junior high. Neither of us is perfect, but we just naturally extend grace to the other person. In short, we "get" each other! Even if one of us is irritable, we just brush it off cuz we realize it's nothing personal. We genuinely enjoy our time together and never have to waste time being fake. Our husbands have the same name. Our first kids were born on the exact same day. The friendship works, you know?
Then there are those relationships that just require more energy. No matter how you slice it, it's always more intense. You say one thing, but she hears another. You meant such-and-such but it got totally blown out of proportion. You know what I'm talking about! It's like right away, THAT person came to mind. And my question for the tricky relationships is, how should we react? And does our response really make a difference for eternity? Do we really have to bear all that fruit that Paul talks about in Galatians chapter five, like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and blah, blah, blah? (I think we all know the answer to that one. The answer is YES!!!) :)
God's been faithful to show me that He has a specific plan for both the blissful and the difficult relationships in our lives. The easy ones are necessary because God knows we need that time of restoration and encouragement. You can just chill out and talk about whatever and it doesn't even matter. Even if a few euphemisms (or worse) slip out, you're not gonna feel judged. In short, you can be real! You get to ditch the pretenses and the sugar-coated explanations. That person is there to lift you up along the way. And you're there to guide and love her as well!
But don't think that God doesn't use the rough-edged relationships too. God has two main purposes for those ones: first to change us and second to minister to them. When we begin to care for the unlovable, guess what? It makes us more loving along the way. When we can't hear another thing about this or that from you-know-who, it makes us more patient (you know it's totally true). And when we accept someone's apology for the hundredth time, we learn to be more forgiving as well. During this process of loving people with Christ's compassion, we get to be the road signs that lead these people closer to heaven. They actually get to see Jesus living in us!
But sometimes we just want to quit. The difficult fireballs feel too overwhelming. He is too mean. She is too weird. That neighbor is too loud. Our flesh takes over and wants to shout back. Our tears become too heavy and we'd rather just let them go to hell instead of heaven. Why forgive when it's not even making a difference anyways? How can our listening ears actually make an ounce of change to that impossible situation? Then again, our struggle is not against flesh and blood, remember? Ephesians 6:12 says we're really dealing with "the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
So when you encounter that acquaintance at work who makes you want to run for the EXIT door the instant you see him, try to rethink your motives. Do you think it's an accident that his cubicle sits right across from yours? You see, with God, nothing happens by coincidence. If someone's in your life, it's because the Lord put them there, not because the stars were aligned incorrectly. "Chance" is not a Christian concept, even though we sometimes wish it was (because then we would have an excuse with certain people, right?). You know that family member that you hope responds "No" to the upcoming Evite event? Maybe you could pray for them to attend the party instead of silently wishing that they'd vanish to a different planet.
When we see things through God's eyes, we achieve a really refreshing perspective! Now that doesn't always mean that we get it the first time or the hundredth time or even the thousandth time. But with God's help, we eventually see that God wants to work through all of our relationships, the easy ones and the hard ones. Three simple steps help us along that path. First, pray more! Ask for God's direction and wisdom for all of your relationships. Second, read the Bible more! God's word is there to guide us and to direct our steps. Third, let the Holy spirit work through you. As you do those first two things, God's spirit begins to take over and minister through you, helping you to bless others and to endure life's challenges.
Remember that the positive and negative fireballs are intentionally placed in your life by God. But it's all how you choose to see them. Will you allow God to minister to your friends, family members, neighbors, your spouse, or that feisty co-worker... through YOU? Ask Him what He thinks! The Holy Spirit will show you the next step if you ask Him for help along the way. God will give you rest during some simple downtime with a loved one (there's a time for that as well). But he'll also call you to some uglier, less comfortable situations too.
Fireballs are in our lives, no matter what. So let's take some time to thank God for both types this week, the good ones and the less good ones. When we lose perspective on things, we see things as good and bad. We put sparkles and fireworks around the easy stuff in our lives but paint dark black strokes around the imperfect challenges. Remember that God is present at all times and at work in all of our circumstances. He loves to work "for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).
The reality is that we have to deal with both kinds of people because God has given us a variety of relationships. Our weekly interactions involve relatives, friends, co-workers, school acquaintances, neighbors, church members, monsters, aliens, etc. (ok, just kidding about the last two). And the way we respond to both types of fireballs is important if we want to be used for God's purposes! The key to all of this is our perspective because it dictates how we'll react to both kinds of individuals. It's generally easy to interact with the positive people in our lives. In fact, we can't wait to hang out with them. But it's another thing entirely to put up with the ones who weigh us down.
I have this friend who's been like a sister to me since junior high. Neither of us is perfect, but we just naturally extend grace to the other person. In short, we "get" each other! Even if one of us is irritable, we just brush it off cuz we realize it's nothing personal. We genuinely enjoy our time together and never have to waste time being fake. Our husbands have the same name. Our first kids were born on the exact same day. The friendship works, you know?
Then there are those relationships that just require more energy. No matter how you slice it, it's always more intense. You say one thing, but she hears another. You meant such-and-such but it got totally blown out of proportion. You know what I'm talking about! It's like right away, THAT person came to mind. And my question for the tricky relationships is, how should we react? And does our response really make a difference for eternity? Do we really have to bear all that fruit that Paul talks about in Galatians chapter five, like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and blah, blah, blah? (I think we all know the answer to that one. The answer is YES!!!) :)
God's been faithful to show me that He has a specific plan for both the blissful and the difficult relationships in our lives. The easy ones are necessary because God knows we need that time of restoration and encouragement. You can just chill out and talk about whatever and it doesn't even matter. Even if a few euphemisms (or worse) slip out, you're not gonna feel judged. In short, you can be real! You get to ditch the pretenses and the sugar-coated explanations. That person is there to lift you up along the way. And you're there to guide and love her as well!
But don't think that God doesn't use the rough-edged relationships too. God has two main purposes for those ones: first to change us and second to minister to them. When we begin to care for the unlovable, guess what? It makes us more loving along the way. When we can't hear another thing about this or that from you-know-who, it makes us more patient (you know it's totally true). And when we accept someone's apology for the hundredth time, we learn to be more forgiving as well. During this process of loving people with Christ's compassion, we get to be the road signs that lead these people closer to heaven. They actually get to see Jesus living in us!
But sometimes we just want to quit. The difficult fireballs feel too overwhelming. He is too mean. She is too weird. That neighbor is too loud. Our flesh takes over and wants to shout back. Our tears become too heavy and we'd rather just let them go to hell instead of heaven. Why forgive when it's not even making a difference anyways? How can our listening ears actually make an ounce of change to that impossible situation? Then again, our struggle is not against flesh and blood, remember? Ephesians 6:12 says we're really dealing with "the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
So when you encounter that acquaintance at work who makes you want to run for the EXIT door the instant you see him, try to rethink your motives. Do you think it's an accident that his cubicle sits right across from yours? You see, with God, nothing happens by coincidence. If someone's in your life, it's because the Lord put them there, not because the stars were aligned incorrectly. "Chance" is not a Christian concept, even though we sometimes wish it was (because then we would have an excuse with certain people, right?). You know that family member that you hope responds "No" to the upcoming Evite event? Maybe you could pray for them to attend the party instead of silently wishing that they'd vanish to a different planet.
When we see things through God's eyes, we achieve a really refreshing perspective! Now that doesn't always mean that we get it the first time or the hundredth time or even the thousandth time. But with God's help, we eventually see that God wants to work through all of our relationships, the easy ones and the hard ones. Three simple steps help us along that path. First, pray more! Ask for God's direction and wisdom for all of your relationships. Second, read the Bible more! God's word is there to guide us and to direct our steps. Third, let the Holy spirit work through you. As you do those first two things, God's spirit begins to take over and minister through you, helping you to bless others and to endure life's challenges.
Remember that the positive and negative fireballs are intentionally placed in your life by God. But it's all how you choose to see them. Will you allow God to minister to your friends, family members, neighbors, your spouse, or that feisty co-worker... through YOU? Ask Him what He thinks! The Holy Spirit will show you the next step if you ask Him for help along the way. God will give you rest during some simple downtime with a loved one (there's a time for that as well). But he'll also call you to some uglier, less comfortable situations too.
Fireballs are in our lives, no matter what. So let's take some time to thank God for both types this week, the good ones and the less good ones. When we lose perspective on things, we see things as good and bad. We put sparkles and fireworks around the easy stuff in our lives but paint dark black strokes around the imperfect challenges. Remember that God is present at all times and at work in all of our circumstances. He loves to work "for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).
Labels: faith, family, friendships, God, relationships
