Sunday, February 05, 2012
Relationships
Relationships are tricky. We've all got those friends or family members that light us up like a fireball dropping from the sun. Now you're confused right? Like, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Well, both actually. We naturally want to be around the ones who fire us up and make us passionate about life. Those are the good fireballs. But, we're all too familiar with those people who drag us down into the pit of despair. The ones who mainly talk about how life sucks or about how someone else sucks or about how the angle of the sun today, sucks. Those are the challenging fireballs.
The reality is that we have to deal with both kinds of people because God has given us a variety of relationships. Our weekly interactions involve relatives, friends, co-workers, school acquaintances, neighbors, church members, monsters, aliens, etc. (ok, just kidding about the last two). And the way we respond to both types of fireballs is important if we want to be used for God's purposes! The key to all of this is our perspective because it dictates how we'll react to both kinds of individuals. It's generally easy to interact with the positive people in our lives. In fact, we can't wait to hang out with them. But it's another thing entirely to put up with the ones who weigh us down.
I have this friend who's been like a sister to me since junior high. Neither of us is perfect, but we just naturally extend grace to the other person. In short, we "get" each other! Even if one of us is irritable, we just brush it off cuz we realize it's nothing personal. We genuinely enjoy our time together and never have to waste time being fake. Our husbands have the same name. Our first kids were born on the exact same day. The friendship works, you know?
Then there are those relationships that just require more energy. No matter how you slice it, it's always more intense. You say one thing, but she hears another. You meant such-and-such but it got totally blown out of proportion. You know what I'm talking about! It's like right away, THAT person came to mind. And my question for the tricky relationships is, how should we react? And does our response really make a difference for eternity? Do we really have to bear all that fruit that Paul talks about in Galatians chapter five, like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and blah, blah, blah? (I think we all know the answer to that one. The answer is YES!!!) :)
God's been faithful to show me that He has a specific plan for both the blissful and the difficult relationships in our lives. The easy ones are necessary because God knows we need that time of restoration and encouragement. You can just chill out and talk about whatever and it doesn't even matter. Even if a few euphemisms (or worse) slip out, you're not gonna feel judged. In short, you can be real! You get to ditch the pretenses and the sugar-coated explanations. That person is there to lift you up along the way. And you're there to guide and love her as well!
But don't think that God doesn't use the rough-edged relationships too. God has two main purposes for those ones: first to change us and second to minister to them. When we begin to care for the unlovable, guess what? It makes us more loving along the way. When we can't hear another thing about this or that from you-know-who, it makes us more patient (you know it's totally true). And when we accept someone's apology for the hundredth time, we learn to be more forgiving as well. During this process of loving people with Christ's compassion, we get to be the road signs that lead these people closer to heaven. They actually get to see Jesus living in us!
But sometimes we just want to quit. The difficult fireballs feel too overwhelming. He is too mean. She is too weird. That neighbor is too loud. Our flesh takes over and wants to shout back. Our tears become too heavy and we'd rather just let them go to hell instead of heaven. Why forgive when it's not even making a difference anyways? How can our listening ears actually make an ounce of change to that impossible situation? Then again, our struggle is not against flesh and blood, remember? Ephesians 6:12 says we're really dealing with "the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
So when you encounter that acquaintance at work who makes you want to run for the EXIT door the instant you see him, try to rethink your motives. Do you think it's an accident that his cubicle sits right across from yours? You see, with God, nothing happens by coincidence. If someone's in your life, it's because the Lord put them there, not because the stars were aligned incorrectly. "Chance" is not a Christian concept, even though we sometimes wish it was (because then we would have an excuse with certain people, right?). You know that family member that you hope responds "No" to the upcoming Evite event? Maybe you could pray for them to attend the party instead of silently wishing that they'd vanish to a different planet.
When we see things through God's eyes, we achieve a really refreshing perspective! Now that doesn't always mean that we get it the first time or the hundredth time or even the thousandth time. But with God's help, we eventually see that God wants to work through all of our relationships, the easy ones and the hard ones. Three simple steps help us along that path. First, pray more! Ask for God's direction and wisdom for all of your relationships. Second, read the Bible more! God's word is there to guide us and to direct our steps. Third, let the Holy spirit work through you. As you do those first two things, God's spirit begins to take over and minister through you, helping you to bless others and to endure life's challenges.
Remember that the positive and negative fireballs are intentionally placed in your life by God. But it's all how you choose to see them. Will you allow God to minister to your friends, family members, neighbors, your spouse, or that feisty co-worker... through YOU? Ask Him what He thinks! The Holy Spirit will show you the next step if you ask Him for help along the way. God will give you rest during some simple downtime with a loved one (there's a time for that as well). But he'll also call you to some uglier, less comfortable situations too.
Fireballs are in our lives, no matter what. So let's take some time to thank God for both types this week, the good ones and the less good ones. When we lose perspective on things, we see things as good and bad. We put sparkles and fireworks around the easy stuff in our lives but paint dark black strokes around the imperfect challenges. Remember that God is present at all times and at work in all of our circumstances. He loves to work "for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).
The reality is that we have to deal with both kinds of people because God has given us a variety of relationships. Our weekly interactions involve relatives, friends, co-workers, school acquaintances, neighbors, church members, monsters, aliens, etc. (ok, just kidding about the last two). And the way we respond to both types of fireballs is important if we want to be used for God's purposes! The key to all of this is our perspective because it dictates how we'll react to both kinds of individuals. It's generally easy to interact with the positive people in our lives. In fact, we can't wait to hang out with them. But it's another thing entirely to put up with the ones who weigh us down.
I have this friend who's been like a sister to me since junior high. Neither of us is perfect, but we just naturally extend grace to the other person. In short, we "get" each other! Even if one of us is irritable, we just brush it off cuz we realize it's nothing personal. We genuinely enjoy our time together and never have to waste time being fake. Our husbands have the same name. Our first kids were born on the exact same day. The friendship works, you know?
Then there are those relationships that just require more energy. No matter how you slice it, it's always more intense. You say one thing, but she hears another. You meant such-and-such but it got totally blown out of proportion. You know what I'm talking about! It's like right away, THAT person came to mind. And my question for the tricky relationships is, how should we react? And does our response really make a difference for eternity? Do we really have to bear all that fruit that Paul talks about in Galatians chapter five, like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and blah, blah, blah? (I think we all know the answer to that one. The answer is YES!!!) :)
God's been faithful to show me that He has a specific plan for both the blissful and the difficult relationships in our lives. The easy ones are necessary because God knows we need that time of restoration and encouragement. You can just chill out and talk about whatever and it doesn't even matter. Even if a few euphemisms (or worse) slip out, you're not gonna feel judged. In short, you can be real! You get to ditch the pretenses and the sugar-coated explanations. That person is there to lift you up along the way. And you're there to guide and love her as well!
But don't think that God doesn't use the rough-edged relationships too. God has two main purposes for those ones: first to change us and second to minister to them. When we begin to care for the unlovable, guess what? It makes us more loving along the way. When we can't hear another thing about this or that from you-know-who, it makes us more patient (you know it's totally true). And when we accept someone's apology for the hundredth time, we learn to be more forgiving as well. During this process of loving people with Christ's compassion, we get to be the road signs that lead these people closer to heaven. They actually get to see Jesus living in us!
But sometimes we just want to quit. The difficult fireballs feel too overwhelming. He is too mean. She is too weird. That neighbor is too loud. Our flesh takes over and wants to shout back. Our tears become too heavy and we'd rather just let them go to hell instead of heaven. Why forgive when it's not even making a difference anyways? How can our listening ears actually make an ounce of change to that impossible situation? Then again, our struggle is not against flesh and blood, remember? Ephesians 6:12 says we're really dealing with "the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
So when you encounter that acquaintance at work who makes you want to run for the EXIT door the instant you see him, try to rethink your motives. Do you think it's an accident that his cubicle sits right across from yours? You see, with God, nothing happens by coincidence. If someone's in your life, it's because the Lord put them there, not because the stars were aligned incorrectly. "Chance" is not a Christian concept, even though we sometimes wish it was (because then we would have an excuse with certain people, right?). You know that family member that you hope responds "No" to the upcoming Evite event? Maybe you could pray for them to attend the party instead of silently wishing that they'd vanish to a different planet.
When we see things through God's eyes, we achieve a really refreshing perspective! Now that doesn't always mean that we get it the first time or the hundredth time or even the thousandth time. But with God's help, we eventually see that God wants to work through all of our relationships, the easy ones and the hard ones. Three simple steps help us along that path. First, pray more! Ask for God's direction and wisdom for all of your relationships. Second, read the Bible more! God's word is there to guide us and to direct our steps. Third, let the Holy spirit work through you. As you do those first two things, God's spirit begins to take over and minister through you, helping you to bless others and to endure life's challenges.
Remember that the positive and negative fireballs are intentionally placed in your life by God. But it's all how you choose to see them. Will you allow God to minister to your friends, family members, neighbors, your spouse, or that feisty co-worker... through YOU? Ask Him what He thinks! The Holy Spirit will show you the next step if you ask Him for help along the way. God will give you rest during some simple downtime with a loved one (there's a time for that as well). But he'll also call you to some uglier, less comfortable situations too.
Fireballs are in our lives, no matter what. So let's take some time to thank God for both types this week, the good ones and the less good ones. When we lose perspective on things, we see things as good and bad. We put sparkles and fireworks around the easy stuff in our lives but paint dark black strokes around the imperfect challenges. Remember that God is present at all times and at work in all of our circumstances. He loves to work "for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).
Labels: faith, family, friendships, God, relationships
Saturday, October 16, 2010
A few steps at a time
It's hard to believe that it's already mid-October and that a new year quickly approaches. Some of the good intentions of this year's New Year's resolutions have gotten lost behind all of our busy schedules and the stresses that weigh us down. Instead of getting discouraged about the ones you haven't yet accomplished, take heart and read on. My tidbit of encouragement is this: just take a few steps at a time.
Whether you have plans to improve your personal health, your budget, your organization, or a specific relationship in your life, just start small. Rather than striving for something so big that it's basically unattainable, go for a few baby steps in the right direction. Just pick two things that will get you on the right track. Then if that goes well, add a few more steps after that.
If your plan for 2010 was to improve your health, maybe you've taken huge strides toward a healthier you. And if you have, keep working it baby!!! But if you haven't gotten the amazing start you'd planned on, don't fret. Just begin today by picking two basic health goals.
Here are a few ideas to get you started. Try to drink more water by filling a 32 oz container first thing; then keep it somewhere visible so you sip it throughout the day. For some of you, a healthier step could simply be to start taking a good multi-vitamin. Another challenge could be to eat an apple instead of chips or candy as an afternoon snack. If you need more exercise, just shoot for a fifteen minute walk four times per week.
If you met most of your health goals this year, try upping your work-outs by ten minutes. Or if you don't currently lift any weights, throw in a light weight-circuit to the mix as well. You could also pick up a few more supplements other than your multi-vitamin. And you might even consider meeting with a dietitian or your personal physician to undergo some basic tests that ensure your body is getting all that it needs.
Maybe your big challenge was for a better budget. You intended to pay down those d--n credit cards, but instead, they've just gotten even bigger. So, here's how you get started on that one. Pick the card with the smallest balance on it and double the monthly payment until it's paid off. If that seems impossible right now, put the frigging thing in the freezer inside of a huge block of ice. Decide that you won't charge any more on it.
If you're trying to beef up your savings, take baby steps there as well; just add $50-$100 to your account today. You might have to dip into it before October is over, but you might not. The truth is that it's definitely already spent if you never even switch it over in the first place. Maybe next month you can put $200 into savings. If your morning latte is a must, try creating your own at home to save some green.
Even though I didn't set any official resolutions for this year, I definitely wanted to get more organized. But instead of becoming discouraged about how disorganized my house still is at times, I'm gonna focus on what I can get done before this year is over.
Two of my organizational goals deal with the garage and the clutter that floods my kitchen counters. So last week, I cleared out five items from my overcrowded garage; I'll shoot for the same goal this week as well. I reduced a large pile of papers from one of my counter-tops and cut it in half by sorting through it as well. One pile per week does wonders.
Relationships can be tricky for some people because they seem so mysterious at times. Even though you share the same oxygen with that person every day in the same house, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's easy to have a great relationship. If a dish breaks, you can glue it back together. But, if you and your spouse or significant other argue about something, that's harder to fix.
Here are two steps to make this relational goal easier as well. First, try to figure out what makes your loved one feel truly loved. Is it quality time or physical touch? Maybe it's gifts or acts of service. It could even be words of affirmation. So after you decide what his love language is, think of two ways to show him that you love him by using that love language (for more info about these, see Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages).
For example, if it's words of affirmation, leave sticky notes on the bathroom mirror saying, "I love you" or "I think you are great." You could also pump up the text messages this week with sweet reminders of how you feel: "U r a q t pie. lv u. ttyl luv-bug :)."
While these four goals are just a few that come to me, I'm sure there are many others that fill your heart and mind. So, try to keep those simple as well. Take a few steps at a time and before you know it, you'll look back and see that you've already completed your first lap around the track.
Share some thoughts about resolutions that you've mastered or haven't quite attained throughout 2010. We'd love to hear from you. :)
Whether you have plans to improve your personal health, your budget, your organization, or a specific relationship in your life, just start small. Rather than striving for something so big that it's basically unattainable, go for a few baby steps in the right direction. Just pick two things that will get you on the right track. Then if that goes well, add a few more steps after that.
If your plan for 2010 was to improve your health, maybe you've taken huge strides toward a healthier you. And if you have, keep working it baby!!! But if you haven't gotten the amazing start you'd planned on, don't fret. Just begin today by picking two basic health goals.
Here are a few ideas to get you started. Try to drink more water by filling a 32 oz container first thing; then keep it somewhere visible so you sip it throughout the day. For some of you, a healthier step could simply be to start taking a good multi-vitamin. Another challenge could be to eat an apple instead of chips or candy as an afternoon snack. If you need more exercise, just shoot for a fifteen minute walk four times per week.
If you met most of your health goals this year, try upping your work-outs by ten minutes. Or if you don't currently lift any weights, throw in a light weight-circuit to the mix as well. You could also pick up a few more supplements other than your multi-vitamin. And you might even consider meeting with a dietitian or your personal physician to undergo some basic tests that ensure your body is getting all that it needs.
Maybe your big challenge was for a better budget. You intended to pay down those d--n credit cards, but instead, they've just gotten even bigger. So, here's how you get started on that one. Pick the card with the smallest balance on it and double the monthly payment until it's paid off. If that seems impossible right now, put the frigging thing in the freezer inside of a huge block of ice. Decide that you won't charge any more on it.
If you're trying to beef up your savings, take baby steps there as well; just add $50-$100 to your account today. You might have to dip into it before October is over, but you might not. The truth is that it's definitely already spent if you never even switch it over in the first place. Maybe next month you can put $200 into savings. If your morning latte is a must, try creating your own at home to save some green.
Even though I didn't set any official resolutions for this year, I definitely wanted to get more organized. But instead of becoming discouraged about how disorganized my house still is at times, I'm gonna focus on what I can get done before this year is over.
Two of my organizational goals deal with the garage and the clutter that floods my kitchen counters. So last week, I cleared out five items from my overcrowded garage; I'll shoot for the same goal this week as well. I reduced a large pile of papers from one of my counter-tops and cut it in half by sorting through it as well. One pile per week does wonders.
Relationships can be tricky for some people because they seem so mysterious at times. Even though you share the same oxygen with that person every day in the same house, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's easy to have a great relationship. If a dish breaks, you can glue it back together. But, if you and your spouse or significant other argue about something, that's harder to fix.
Here are two steps to make this relational goal easier as well. First, try to figure out what makes your loved one feel truly loved. Is it quality time or physical touch? Maybe it's gifts or acts of service. It could even be words of affirmation. So after you decide what his love language is, think of two ways to show him that you love him by using that love language (for more info about these, see Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages).
For example, if it's words of affirmation, leave sticky notes on the bathroom mirror saying, "I love you" or "I think you are great." You could also pump up the text messages this week with sweet reminders of how you feel: "U r a q t pie. lv u. ttyl luv-bug :)."
While these four goals are just a few that come to me, I'm sure there are many others that fill your heart and mind. So, try to keep those simple as well. Take a few steps at a time and before you know it, you'll look back and see that you've already completed your first lap around the track.
Share some thoughts about resolutions that you've mastered or haven't quite attained throughout 2010. We'd love to hear from you. :)
Labels: family, health, moms, money, organization, relationships
