Thursday, December 02, 2010
dualisms
Self identity is a complicated topic. Not just who we are and the game pieces we play on the chess-board, but the difficulty of the contradictions within those definitions. For example, I am simultaneously a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. Now, I am starting to sound like Jorge Luis Borges' essay called, "Borges y yo," which discusses the variety of roles we fill using the metaphor of hats. But, aside from the Hispanic literary reference, I want to dig deeper, even than Borges' journey many decades ago.
Why is it that as a mom, I can feel peaceful and anxious on the same day, in the same ten minute period even? Why as a wife can I feel incredibly blissful one moment and passionately irate the next? My role as a daughter produces feelings of undying faithfulness in an instant but those of bitter frustration the next. As a sister, I am likely to sense a deep blood connection one month and a sibling rivalry the next. As a friend, I can feel irritable by one response and compelled by her next.
These contradictions can leave me confused to say the least. I think PMS and hormones are mostly to blame. But all kidding aside, even my male audience would agree that emotions can be a dangerous thing. What then do we base our definitions upon? Upon our feelings? Or, upon the commitments we have made over the years to the truths we believe? What about our faith that pulls us into a deeper calling, even more-so than our five senses at times?
For me, my belief in God takes part in this battle of dualisms as well. If I depend upon my feelings when it comes to faith, I can become perplexed about God too. His goodness fills the verdant garden, producing the sweetest oranges and grapes while simultaneously... His idle response to man's evil lurks passively in the shadows as well. For just outside of the garden, a murderer kills an innocent victim. And beyond that scenario, the gentle scent of a rose petal rests upon a peaceful breeze while a violent wind blows down a small village far, far away from there with its incessant attacks.
Most people have problems with the "problem" of evil and the "problem" of suffering or pain. If you've studied even one ounce of philosophy, you know this to be true as well. And yet, it leaves me hoping for more. For the world beyond this one. Where injustices are righted. Where faltered dreams and failures are restored. Where death has no sting. Where sickness has no bite.
Can we hope together for the heaven that awaits us? Is Jesus really preparing a home for you and for me regardless of how we feel about our circumstances now? If so, it should affect the way we evaluate our feelings; and it should certainly determine the way we define ourselves in our current roles. We should see them through His victorious lens, where justice and truth win in the end. But, it's not always easy!
As a multi-faceted being with a plethora of roles rotating round and round like a revolving door, I am challenged amidst these dilemmas. And yet, I am not defeated. My favorite verse from high school comes to mind: "I can do everything through (Christ) who strengthens me!" (Philippians 4:13). I can be a mom at all times, while also balancing my role as a wife, daughter, sister, and friend. I can feel flustered about the goodness and the evil that co-mingle around me on a daily basis. I can feel joyful and sad about the same person or circumstance. I can cry and laugh simultaneously.
And I can even feel mad at God for His slow response to the inequities that we all face. It is okay. It is allowed. We are human now, but will one day be fully transformed into His image. We are of two natures still... but are constantly being renewed into His perfection and into His glory! We can face today and its dualistic nature because we are not alone! We have His help at all times. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" (Matthew 7:7).
Keep the faith! Share your thoughts here. We'd love to hear from you. :)
Why is it that as a mom, I can feel peaceful and anxious on the same day, in the same ten minute period even? Why as a wife can I feel incredibly blissful one moment and passionately irate the next? My role as a daughter produces feelings of undying faithfulness in an instant but those of bitter frustration the next. As a sister, I am likely to sense a deep blood connection one month and a sibling rivalry the next. As a friend, I can feel irritable by one response and compelled by her next.
These contradictions can leave me confused to say the least. I think PMS and hormones are mostly to blame. But all kidding aside, even my male audience would agree that emotions can be a dangerous thing. What then do we base our definitions upon? Upon our feelings? Or, upon the commitments we have made over the years to the truths we believe? What about our faith that pulls us into a deeper calling, even more-so than our five senses at times?
For me, my belief in God takes part in this battle of dualisms as well. If I depend upon my feelings when it comes to faith, I can become perplexed about God too. His goodness fills the verdant garden, producing the sweetest oranges and grapes while simultaneously... His idle response to man's evil lurks passively in the shadows as well. For just outside of the garden, a murderer kills an innocent victim. And beyond that scenario, the gentle scent of a rose petal rests upon a peaceful breeze while a violent wind blows down a small village far, far away from there with its incessant attacks.
Most people have problems with the "problem" of evil and the "problem" of suffering or pain. If you've studied even one ounce of philosophy, you know this to be true as well. And yet, it leaves me hoping for more. For the world beyond this one. Where injustices are righted. Where faltered dreams and failures are restored. Where death has no sting. Where sickness has no bite.
Can we hope together for the heaven that awaits us? Is Jesus really preparing a home for you and for me regardless of how we feel about our circumstances now? If so, it should affect the way we evaluate our feelings; and it should certainly determine the way we define ourselves in our current roles. We should see them through His victorious lens, where justice and truth win in the end. But, it's not always easy!
As a multi-faceted being with a plethora of roles rotating round and round like a revolving door, I am challenged amidst these dilemmas. And yet, I am not defeated. My favorite verse from high school comes to mind: "I can do everything through (Christ) who strengthens me!" (Philippians 4:13). I can be a mom at all times, while also balancing my role as a wife, daughter, sister, and friend. I can feel flustered about the goodness and the evil that co-mingle around me on a daily basis. I can feel joyful and sad about the same person or circumstance. I can cry and laugh simultaneously.
And I can even feel mad at God for His slow response to the inequities that we all face. It is okay. It is allowed. We are human now, but will one day be fully transformed into His image. We are of two natures still... but are constantly being renewed into His perfection and into His glory! We can face today and its dualistic nature because we are not alone! We have His help at all times. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" (Matthew 7:7).
Keep the faith! Share your thoughts here. We'd love to hear from you. :)
Labels: daughters, dualism, faith, friends, moms, wives
