Mariposa Kisses (aka Dianne's Blog)

As parents, we should encourage our kids toward their specific goals. But, first we have to help them figure out what those goals are. They're passionate about a variety of things, from their academic classes and sports, to their extracurricular activities or religious commitments. Which ones are the most important? Which ones will match up with their greatest potential? As their moms and dads, we get to evaluate those strengths while helping them draw out an exciting picture of their professional future.

Eventually, they will graduate from high school and move on to a career and/or a family. So, let's give them some tools to evaluate their future while they are young. But, how do we get started? Shaping our kids' career goals might seem like a mighty task, but it doesn't have to be daunting. It can actually be pretty simple and fun as well. Here are four suggestions to get you started.

First, spend some quality time with your kid. Even though you already know your own kid pretty well, ask her what she loves to spend her time doing. Ask why she loves that particular subject or activity and make sure she's pursuing it because of her passion, not yours. Get to know her by talking about some of her favorite magazines or websites. You could even ask about some upcoming movie titles as you evaluate her interests: adventures, dramas, action flicks, mysteries, etc.

Part of this exercise also helps to strengthen your understanding of what she's already good at...math, science, art, soccer, etc. It's likely that some of her natural talents will line up with some of her future goals. Discuss her end-of-the-year projects and the outcome of her final exams. Take the time to connect so you can both be on the same page. Some parents might assume their kid will be an architect but what if he does poorly at math and art? Doesn't sound like a fit.

Second, brainstorm with your child about some possible career choices to get the ideas flowing. Talk about what a love for art could turn into: a painter, a graphic designer, or a movie producer, etc. Discuss the possibilities of a career as a scientist: an astronomer, an oceanographer, or a geologist. Visit some fun science websites together, such as NASA's website (www.nasa.gov) which explores various scientific facets, including astronomical and oceanographic studies.

If your son loves firetrucks, talk to him about what firefighters do and see if he has similar interests. Maybe he loves to swim; so, you could discuss the duties of the US Coast Guard or a potential career as a dolphin trainer. If your child's favorite activity is to observe and listen to others, you could talk about the variety of jobs that are offered to professional counselors via schools, hospitals, military branches, and even through the financial sector.

Third, keep it real. Ask your kids what they want to be when they grow up. Describe some different career choices that you considered when you were young. As you do this, discuss your own career path while showing them how you came to your decision. Remember to include your honest evaluation of your own professional decisions. Maybe you love your job; maybe you don't. Let them know how you really feel.

Talk to them about the reality that many people make a variety of career choices over their lifetime. Allow them to see that they can apply multiple interests over the years and that they don't have to feel limited by one plan. For example, my kids know that I used to be a Spanish professor before they were born, but now understand how I have modified my career goals to be at home with them as a freelance writer while they are young.

Fourth, give them practical ways to see those careers in action. Allow their inexperienced eyes to glance at a variety of professional environments. If your kids seem interested in art, fan the flame by taking them to some local art museums this summer. If you're up for a drive to Los Angeles, check out the Getty Museum where admission is always free (http://www.getty.edu/museum/).

Perhaps your kid is a digger and a builder, so your summer visit might include a stop through a model home development or a visit to some downtown skyscrapers. If your daughter loves animals and wants to be a vet, line up some visits to your city's animal rescue center or drive down to San Diego to visit the Wild Animal Park or the Zoo (http://www.sandiegozoo.org/).

Maybe your child loves to ham it up on the pretend microphone all day long; so, you could take him or her for a visit to a local radio station. Who knows, your kid might end up as the next announcer for your favorite sport's team. Free tickets anyone? If it's close to impossible to reach the big-wigs from a major radio station, try a junior college or university near you, where access might be easier.

Even though your children may not pursue their childhood interests as adults, motivating them as kids gives them enthusiasm for the future. Just helping them to evaluate the idea of being a professional someday is a great start. It allows them to dream big and to see their own potential. Think of some kids you knew growing up who never thought they would amount to much. Imagine if their parents had invested a little bit more time and energy into their future.

For older kids, it's especially important that they understand the preparation involved for certain careers. Talk to them about the need for a good high school record, so that they can get into a decent college. Share with them how a college degree is a basic requirement for many professions now. If they can see these things ahead of time, hopefully they'll perform accordingly.

Your care for their passions and your interest in their preparedness shows them love and support. So, even if your kid doesn't end up as a future president of the United States, her dream and the endless array of imaginary speeches will prepare her for life as a successful adult regardless of the altered career path. She may even choose to do what you've done because she's seen the love you've had for your own job over the years.

Whatever comes out of these suggestions, never underestimate the investment you make in your child's future. Share some of your son or daughter's passions and dreams. We'd love to hear from you.

Labels: career, dreams, goals, kids, parents