Mariposa Kisses (aka Dianne's Blog)

As parents, we should encourage our kids toward their specific goals. But, first we have to help them figure out what those goals are. They're passionate about a variety of things, from their academic classes and sports, to their extracurricular activities or religious commitments. Which ones are the most important? Which ones will match up with their greatest potential? As their moms and dads, we get to evaluate those strengths while helping them draw out an exciting picture of their professional future.

Eventually, they will graduate from high school and move on to a career and/or a family. So, let's give them some tools to evaluate their future while they are young. But, how do we get started? Shaping our kids' career goals might seem like a mighty task, but it doesn't have to be daunting. It can actually be pretty simple and fun as well. Here are four suggestions to get you started.

First, spend some quality time with your kid. Even though you already know your own kid pretty well, ask her what she loves to spend her time doing. Ask why she loves that particular subject or activity and make sure she's pursuing it because of her passion, not yours. Get to know her by talking about some of her favorite magazines or websites. You could even ask about some upcoming movie titles as you evaluate her interests: adventures, dramas, action flicks, mysteries, etc.

Part of this exercise also helps to strengthen your understanding of what she's already good at...math, science, art, soccer, etc. It's likely that some of her natural talents will line up with some of her future goals. Discuss her end-of-the-year projects and the outcome of her final exams. Take the time to connect so you can both be on the same page. Some parents might assume their kid will be an architect but what if he does poorly at math and art? Doesn't sound like a fit.

Second, brainstorm with your child about some possible career choices to get the ideas flowing. Talk about what a love for art could turn into: a painter, a graphic designer, or a movie producer, etc. Discuss the possibilities of a career as a scientist: an astronomer, an oceanographer, or a geologist. Visit some fun science websites together, such as NASA's website (www.nasa.gov) which explores various scientific facets, including astronomical and oceanographic studies.

If your son loves firetrucks, talk to him about what firefighters do and see if he has similar interests. Maybe he loves to swim; so, you could discuss the duties of the US Coast Guard or a potential career as a dolphin trainer. If your child's favorite activity is to observe and listen to others, you could talk about the variety of jobs that are offered to professional counselors via schools, hospitals, military branches, and even through the financial sector.

Third, keep it real. Ask your kids what they want to be when they grow up. Describe some different career choices that you considered when you were young. As you do this, discuss your own career path while showing them how you came to your decision. Remember to include your honest evaluation of your own professional decisions. Maybe you love your job; maybe you don't. Let them know how you really feel.

Talk to them about the reality that many people make a variety of career choices over their lifetime. Allow them to see that they can apply multiple interests over the years and that they don't have to feel limited by one plan. For example, my kids know that I used to be a Spanish professor before they were born, but now understand how I have modified my career goals to be at home with them as a freelance writer while they are young.

Fourth, give them practical ways to see those careers in action. Allow their inexperienced eyes to glance at a variety of professional environments. If your kids seem interested in art, fan the flame by taking them to some local art museums this summer. If you're up for a drive to Los Angeles, check out the Getty Museum where admission is always free (http://www.getty.edu/museum/).

Perhaps your kid is a digger and a builder, so your summer visit might include a stop through a model home development or a visit to some downtown skyscrapers. If your daughter loves animals and wants to be a vet, line up some visits to your city's animal rescue center or drive down to San Diego to visit the Wild Animal Park or the Zoo (http://www.sandiegozoo.org/).

Maybe your child loves to ham it up on the pretend microphone all day long; so, you could take him or her for a visit to a local radio station. Who knows, your kid might end up as the next announcer for your favorite sport's team. Free tickets anyone? If it's close to impossible to reach the big-wigs from a major radio station, try a junior college or university near you, where access might be easier.

Even though your children may not pursue their childhood interests as adults, motivating them as kids gives them enthusiasm for the future. Just helping them to evaluate the idea of being a professional someday is a great start. It allows them to dream big and to see their own potential. Think of some kids you knew growing up who never thought they would amount to much. Imagine if their parents had invested a little bit more time and energy into their future.

For older kids, it's especially important that they understand the preparation involved for certain careers. Talk to them about the need for a good high school record, so that they can get into a decent college. Share with them how a college degree is a basic requirement for many professions now. If they can see these things ahead of time, hopefully they'll perform accordingly.

Your care for their passions and your interest in their preparedness shows them love and support. So, even if your kid doesn't end up as a future president of the United States, her dream and the endless array of imaginary speeches will prepare her for life as a successful adult regardless of the altered career path. She may even choose to do what you've done because she's seen the love you've had for your own job over the years.

Whatever comes out of these suggestions, never underestimate the investment you make in your child's future. Share some of your son or daughter's passions and dreams. We'd love to hear from you.

Labels: career, dreams, goals, kids, parents

If you have dreams and passions, it's likely that they were given to you for a reason. The Giver of dreams made you for a purpose and attached your gifts as a part of the package. Since your gifts are from God and for Him as well, it makes sense for you to use them. For years, I've loved singing. After one disastrous singing class at the University several years ago, I assumed that singing publicly wasn't necessarily for me. And yet, I felt that tugging in my heart for several years after that initial attempt.

Although I've always enjoyed singing at church as a part of the congregation, I've never felt brave enough to sing up front. And then, I started attending the worship practices. And then, I was called upon to sing up front. There was a need, so even though my heart felt fearful and timid, I went for it. I wanted to offer up to God what was already HIS, ME, all of me, including my passions. Since I've always loved to sing, I knew this was an open door. And, it was awesome! Singing for the Lord was truly a blessing to my soul. I couldn't believe that my fears melted away and somehow, through His Spirit, I was brave.

Similarly, I have always loved writing. So, about three years ago, I started this blog. And then, I began pursuing various writing venues. Though extremely frustrating at times, I have had a variety of successes over the past nine months. In my pursuit of God's will and His timing, I have encountered some open doors. The greatest thing about writing is knowing that I'm connecting with other human beings: moms, sisters, friends, and even some strangers. To know that I've blessed someone else with my words of encouragement gives me satisfaction. It's so cool to know that God is using my gift because I'm allowing Him to.

So, what happens when we ignore our passions, gifts, or god-given talents? We turn the pages of the book, but the turning is labored, even exhausting. Instead, when we tune our instruments to God's tuning fork, we create beautiful music for Him. The result of giving your gifts to His kingdom is JOY! You feel the fruit of His spirit because you are doing what you were designed to do. Imagine a Lamborghini that always drove under the speed limit because it felt ill-equipped to drive fast. Everyone around it would stare in disbelief, waiting for it to zoom past. But, if it didn't get over its incorrect belief, the amazing car would never accelerate to its full potential.

As Christians, we limit ourselves if we hide inside of our own plethora of fears and entanglements. We think we aren't good enough, so we don't sign up. We don't feel competent, so we decide not to volunteer. We're not sure our story is significant, so we hold it in our own heads. But, the truth is that it's not about us. It's about HIM. When your eyes look away from yourself, you begin to look upward toward the KING's face. Then, your face begins to shine HIS glory. You look radiant. You sound beautiful. Your story touches others...because you reflect His power.

Go for your dreams! Take hold of your passions! Be who God made you to be! Take a leap of faith and see how God turns your uncertainties into solidified successes...for HIS GLORY! Remember that you "CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS" you! Share some of your amazing accomplishments for the Lord. I'd love to hear what God is doing in your life!

Labels: dreams, God, passions, the King

"Mommy, do the elves help Santa make the toys?" my four-year-old daughter asked. I answered, "Yes, they do" feeling a little bit dishonest. I was wondering how much longer she and her other two siblings would believe in Santa Claus.

I get a similar feeling when I talk to my son about how cool it will be when he loses his first tooth because then he'll "get to put it in a cute pillow and get money for it." I'm not quite sure how he'll respond when he finds out that the tooth fairy is just a myth, but I think he'll come through unscathed.

As parents, it's okay for us to promote dreams and beliefs in our kids that are short-lived. My daughter frequently informs me of her career goals: to be a dentist, then a surfer, then a mom, and then finally a grandma. I never dissuade her from shooting for the stars and am fully satisfied that the top of her list includes being a "mom and then a grandma."

We should encourage our kids to dream big even if we know that our economy might not support their best efforts. Even if we know they have too many dreams for one lifetime. Even if they are silly, incoherent, and nonsensical. Even if we know that they will change their major a hundred times within their first year of college.

We need to support our children because it shows that we love and believe in them. Ultimately, if they know those two things, then they really can save the planet from global warming and accomplish world peace. In their own small space and throughout their relatively insignificant existence, they will experience love, peace, and joy because we have been their cheerleaders.

Santa might not be real, but they'll never forget your eyes...when they sparkled with your expression of wonder as you described his colorful toy-filled workshop or his royal-red velvet suit and his puffy cloud-like beard. They'll never forget the precious hand-sewn tooth fairy pillow passed down from great grandma Grace either.

They'll always remember how you were the loudest fan at their Little League baseball game and how you talked about "winning the next one" over a cold bottle of Gatorade. Their dreams of becoming a Major League baseball player will likely fizzle over time, replaced by the pursuit of finding a good job and a reasonably priced home.

Your investment in their dreams however big or small will help them to feel valued, so keep up the hard work moms and dads. Parenthood is exhausting and frequently void of visible results, but never forget your most important job of all. You are the keepers of your children's dreams.

Labels: dads, dreams, moms, santa clause